Dating sites

[supa_star323]

I am after some advice/stories...
A friend put me on RSVP as a joke, but a couple of people have contacted me.
So how long would you talk to someone before meeting them? And what would you talk about?
What is a good first meeting?

I do not put myself out there and date so this is all weird for me.

[Miss_N]

So I'm not single now...but I will admit...:o...I went down this road!

A friend and I made ourselves profiles one night after a few too many glasses of champagne! :laughing:

I met a few people - read 6 or so over the course of 18months and then decided that I was only meeting toads NO princes so gave up and deleted my profile!

My friend kept hers and I was her go to girl. We used to either meet the people together or have our phones out and ready as needed! Lol! We ALWAYS met as a VERY public coffee shop! ALWAYS told someone where we were going and ALWAYS had an excuse to get us out if need be!

We would also talk on the phone a few times before meeting. We didnt have a time limit on this. Just when it felt right. We never met the ones who DEMANDED it be at night at some skeezy club and avoided the crazies too! :laughing:

[Amara]

I reckon it's best to meet fairly soon. Nothing worse than chatting away for ages & then meeting them & finding out there is no chemistry.

Meet at coffee shop or a pub that has a beer garden as it's more relaxed. Do it in daylight.

Have an excuse ready in case you need to escape. I only had to escape once & I told him I couldn't stay long as I had to meet a friend to see a movie.

Be prepared to meet guys that don't look like their pictures. Some use really old pics or very flattering pics. Make sure your own pic is a true representation of yourself.

Be prepared to meet players. There are heaps of them on dating sites. You will soon work out if you are dating one of them as they are not readily available for dates, don't answer their phones (will call you back instead) or will communicate by text message. They also have a habit of calling you during the day & not at night while they are with whoever else they are seeing.

Some are married but they wont tell you that.

I do know two people who've ended up married to people they met online so it does work sometimes.

I met my ex online & it did not end well. We had some good times though before it went bad.

My best advice is to run a mile at the first sign of a lie.

[supa_star323]

I have noticed that a lot of the guys start talking about sex like straight away, that's what has happened with my friend. So she scratches them straight away.

[Amara]

Yes you need to steer clear of guys who do sex talk & also guys who try to organise a meet up on the first occasion you chat to them.

[milliegirl]

The girls have given you good advice. Heaps of these guys lie (it is easy on line to create whatever profile you like).

One of my ex's is online and he has lied about most things straight away. It will take at least 10 dates for the stuff he has lied about to come out. How would you know if a guy was a smoker and heavy drinker, plus takes psych meds without spending significant time with them day and night (and seeing them take their meds etc)? He puts up a good front, works out, talks about being positive blah blah blah. The usual.

This has convinced me to only meet people personally and not online, and I met him in person in the 1st place! I sooo pity anyone caught in his web. But RSVP or EHarmony etc don't do any checks etc. Even when they have people report phoneys. There is no 'quality control'. Therefore it is buyer beware :yes:

Good luck with your search. Most people I know who have used the sites have used it as a light hearted distraction from a recent breakup etc. Just getting back out there, and building up their confidence again. Most guy friends I have admit they use it to 'fish in a barrel'. Pretty cynical stuff, but they believe girls know this and are players too.

Horses for courses. Wouldn't it be great if you just walked around a corner and there he was :yelclap:

Hope you are lucky in love :)

[~Bec~]

Hello, I'm not single but I was once. The short story is that after leaving the exH I signed up on Lavalife in the "dating" section - I just wanted to feel human again and go and meet people and maybe have a few dates. The first date I went on I met DF, I was only on there for about 2 weeks when we met. He is the absolute love of my life :bee: and we are so perfect for each other. Fast forward exactly 3 years to the day after our first date and we are taking our 3 day old son home from hospital. :goodvibes:

However, I did find the vast majority of blokes on there came across as weird and creepy. As a general rule assume they are all weird, creepy and just after sex unless proven otherwise. I set up a hotmail email address so I could be totally anonymous. I also used a pre-paid mobile phone. I had a few blokes contact me who, well, obviously just didn't read my profile as they were just soooo not my type. I also had a few 'inquiries' from people in other countries to, I just ignored them. Hell, I was only after a date and it's a long way to go for a coffee.