16mth old boy going cheap !!!!

[TwoBlue]

Hi all

My adorable 16 month old son is turning into that evil "chuckie" doll from the horror movies :(

I dont know what to do anymore... i am exhausted and sick of yelling at him.
He climbs onto everything !!!! I MEAN EVERYTHING !!! I leave the room for 1 minute and find him standing on top of the kitchen table or top edge of the couch or coffee table, wherever, anyway... when i tell him he has to get down he throws the massivest of tantrums and screams and kicks and if i am not right next to him he would throw himself from wherever he was standing !! I feel like any time soon he will fall badly and really hurt himself :eek:

Also if he has something he shouldnt have when i ask him very nicely to give to mum he looks me straight in the eye and throws the item !!

He throws random tantrums if things arent going his way... i cant reason with him yet as he is too young but there must be SOMETHING i can do...???

What happened to my little angel and how can i get him back !!??

[razzle]

You might get a better price for him on ebay.... :p

No advice... sorry. :o Fingers crossed it's just an independence phase and he'll grow out of it.

[meshan]

There is a really great book I am reading at the moment called " Toddler Taming' by DR Christohper Green - it has really good ideas for discipline that don't involve naugthy chairs etc.

Also remeber that at this age any attention is good attention and seeing mummy yell is fun more than scary so try and ignore as much as possible - I'm sure the launching himself off high places is done because he loves your reaction!!

Good luck

[AM]

Ha ha ha!!!

Right there with you!
Mine is 17 months old, and is going through a 'willful' stage, yes it is so exhausting!

I think my remedy to everything at the moment is taking him outside where he can run amuck, and he is also a climber, but I just let him.

I figure if he can get up there, he can get down, and if not, he asks me to help :p

Hang in there, I've been told it does pass, I'm not sure if I believe it yet, but it's the only thing keeping me sane :eek:

Angie

[Chickadee]

My 20 month old dd laughs at me and calls me funny if I actually get so frustrated and tired to the point of yelling at her when she's refusing to do something. Pretty frustrating.

The only thing that has worked for us is distraction & diversion. If she has something I don't want her to have I try to trade with her for something better and safer. Or I get enthusiastic about another activity with her rather than whatever it is she's doing that I don't like. I ignore tantrums, even out in public. Though dd's are pretty mild, she just goes boneless on the floor and crys, nothing that would potentially hurt her. She stops pretty quick when she realises I'm not paying attention.

Maybe instead of telling him to get down entice him down with a new activity he'd enjoy. Like Meshan said, if he doesn't get the attention he will likely abandon the behaviour. The only other thing I can think of is to take him with you wherever you go, which I know is tough. But he might have figured out that if you leave the room or stop playing he can get you back by climbing.

[Emily's moocow]

Hi he understands a bit more than you are giving him credit for. I know its hard especially when you areexpecting another one but he has you pegged. By you running back to him you arerewarding the bad behaviour. As the other ladies have suggested try diversionary tactics, find something else to engage his little mind. Dont make a big deal about his naughty behaviour ignore it and he will realise that mum isnt paying attention (unless hes in danger). Praise his good behaviour and make it known how proud you are of him being good, trust me it will all be alot easier if you start now before bubby comes along.


Good Luck!

Teresa mummy to Brock 5 1/2 Jacob 4 and Emily 10 months

[TwoBlue]

Thanks all for your replies.
Dont get me wrong, i know he understands more than he lets on and the last thing i do is run to him when he is doimg the wrong thing but my problem is when i leave him (ignore him)...lets say, on the dining room table, he falls off and then we have the tears and soon enough the broken neck !!!
If i know he is safe i leave him be and totally ignore him but he even falls off low to the floor things and hits his head (floor boards unfortunately)
So it doesnt help my situation that he is a clumsy clutz.... (like his Dad !! ;) )

He has been a little better with the throwing thing lately so thats good and i have a few "special" distraction toys that seem to work well when he is somewhere or doing something i dont want him to....

I guess i just have to grit my teeth and wait for the stage to pass... while at the same time trying to manage it as best i can.

Thanks again to all of you especially Angie, its always nice to know your not alone :)

[BugBias]

if anyone has any great ideas my three year old is still going through her 'willful' stage! My shining hope is she'll be going to school in two years lol!

[vonnie100]

I totally understand the throwing thing. My 16 mth old dd does the same thing if i tell her no, she will pout, look me in the eye, find the closest thing to throw and....throws it! and anything eles on the floor.
Sometimes I think it is kind of funny and have to look away so she cant see me smile.
I found that 'hands on the wall' is a really good distraction that she actually does, sometimes I have to stand there with her when there are tears but we count to ten, look each other in the eye and then say ' dont throw, hit, draw on the walls, eat your books' and then that is the end of it and we start a new activity, sometimes involving a cheese stick, or a drink of milk or a playschool dvd, whatever is new and fun.
vonni100

[RuthK]

I've got a 17 months old who stands on everything and then destroys it and a 3 year old who I thought had escaped the terrible two's. Little was I to know he was just delaying them. Add to this me being 18 weeks pregnant and I can say quite easily that putting my 2 up for lease on ebay would be a good idea too.

[WeThree]

Hi Tracy, your post made me laugh because that is how my mum described Cooper the other night when she had him sleep over for the first time! he has blonde curls and looks like a great big doll and she said he was running around terrorising the dogs, his older brother etc just like a big chucky doll. Seriously I sympathise with you though, Coops never stops, he is a real climber and constantly runs away from me in the shops and not 2 mins ago i found him smearing custard all over the tv and his feet (thats what i get for assuming that he had dozed off on the couch and deciding to spend some time on the computer!)

[Supermum]

This post had me laughing ... not because I think it's funny but because it bought back a whole host of memories which I thought had been lost in the ether somewhere never to resurface.

We too, had/have a chucky ... although we refer to him as POD (Prince of Darkness) on his off days. We are incredibly careful about who we visit these days and always make sure we let the 'visited' know what sort of boy Ben is before we get there.

We also have Toddler Taming ... which helped but I then brought in the big guns "Raising your Spirited Child". Like most, we practice distraction and diversion ... which can be absolutely exhausting and this method certainly keeps you on your feet. Failing this, we have a Thinking Corner. This is where Ben goes to sit and think (yes they know exactly what they're doing ... they're being toddlers!) We have been using the Thinking Corner since Ben was sixteen months. With us it was a matter of finding out what motivated him most and removing it from him for a period of time. Ben's motivator was being with people so if he is sent to the thinking corner - it's time he cannot play or interact. Try really hard not to shout - your reaction equals a win to him. Low firm tones for unacceptable and high, relaxed for acceptable.

You are definitely not alone. On a scale of 1-10 ... we've got a well practised 9½er!

Good luck - it is just a phase and all part of the process of testing boundaries and limits. Every now and then they turn the volume up to check on your progress!

Like I'd know though ... Ben is now 2½ and we are only just seeing beyond the haze. :D

[TwoBlue]

Thanks again guys its always refreshing to know its not only your child who acts this way....

and i can totally sympathise with all mums who are going through this time with their kids.

If only we could lock them away for a few years and bring them out when they are older and nicer ...... :rolleyes:

best of luck to all mums with "spirited" kids... (i think i might get that book !!! ;) )