Young mums breastfeeding

[Funkychicken]

OK, I could be creating a storm here but I really want other peoples opinions as I find myself getting all cranky about this topic. Is it me being all 'old and cantankerous' or do other's feel the same way.
There are many threads/posts here at various times from young mums (I'm talking 19,20,21 years old) talking about breastfeeding and whether they will or won't do it. My concern is that this particular generation has had breasts sexualised to a point that using them for feeding a baby is not their purpose. It's not just on Bubhub but it seems rife everywhere I meet younger mums. I fully understand that some people choose to bottlefeed for other reasons but the message seems to be that they are too embarressed to breastfeed because it shows off their t*@$. The culture that abounds around breast implants and cosmetic surgery seems so much a part of modern society that many young women avoid breastfeeding completely. Everywhere we look there are pictures, music clips, models all 'selling' the perfect body which includes those sexual organs, The Boobs.
I have to add here that I know many young women do breastfeed with conviction:yelclap: , I'm referring more to the women who choose to bottlefeed on the basis that boobs are for sexual pleasure, not baby feeding. Ok, bring on the replies!:thumbsup:

[JeSsIkA]

I am a young mum, 20 with my first and 22 with my second... and i am proud to say that i breastfed both my kids. i never even thought about FF.. and i also never worried about people seeing my boobs, i always thought that if people seen them they must have been looking for them....
i know lots of other young mums and i am the only one who BF..the others had similar reasons to what you mentioned.. that people would see them, that its yuck, that they had a boy

[Mum&bubs]

Yep im another proud young mum who breastfeeds! Dont care who sees them as they are here for a purpose & that is to feed my bubba :thumbsup:

[Taddy]

Well I am 19 had my first at 17 and I proudly breastfed my son. Who cares if someone sees my t**ts. Breastfeeding is all natural. I am pregnant with my 2nd know and consider doing the same.

[draught]

Sal - I will watch this with interest as it also worries me that this trend is happening.

[ann n mick]

hi i breat feed my boy he is 16 and a half months old im not going to lie im feeding him now i feed him in public i dont care what people think im not going to feed him in change rooms how yuck its like eating while sitting on the toilet

[Funkychicken]

Thank-you all you inspiring young mums for your replies. I was unsure whether to post this in the breastfeeding section or general but decided the general chat thread would almost certainly make it a circus. It is really lovely and reassuring to hear some positive spins on breastfeeding from young mums. I fear that at 36(just:laughing: ) I am a bit out of touch which is why I started this-wanting to see if I was making a HUGE generalisation or not.

[rynosmum]

I wonder if it just seems this way because the few that post about their decision not to breastfeed (or to determine whether they will or not) are what we remember, even though they may be in the minority.

When I was pregnant, people asked me if I would breastfeed. 'I guess so' was the only response I could give - I honestly had no idea what it entailed and had no idea how difficult yet rewarding it would be.

I was a bottlefed baby, my mother couldn't breastfeed either from lack of milk or lack of support. I have no problems with this as I know she did her best. I would hate though to think that anyone would make a decision not to breastfeed purely because of the 'cosmetics' of it all.

[mum2littleman]

well to be honest i always said i was going to BF but i would do it away form other people on my own however bub never took {i was upset that he didnt but sumtimes things happen} but i think if i did bf i would get over the fact that people look at u while BF after all its just a normal thing to do..
but u also need to know ppl are self con they dont like people looking at them and if they choose not to do it for any reason it is there choice and even no sum people may think its silly at the end of the day its there baby and there choice!
if u feel comf feeding ur baby thats great and if not thats great too, no matter what we all end up being great mothers to our children anyway it really dosnt make a diffrents..
{im not having a b***h while writting this so dont take it that way please}

[WeThree]

I agree Sal, it is a worry.
I was 18 when I had my first and I bf him and I actually recieved several positive comments from people, that they thought it was really nice to see a younger mother bfing, so you are not the only one to notice this trend.
PS, to all you young mummies who responded and who bf, good for you!!! You are giving your bubs a great start in life, keep if up :yes:

[emilysmumma]

Yes it is sad to see that some girls aren't comfortable enough with themselves to be natural with BF.
BFing is not something that is shown as a natural part of life anymore. I don't really recall whilst growing up that it was even ever mentioned or seen.
I must admit that DH is feeling a bit left out at the moment as they were "his" but he was a strong advocate for me to bf, even if a little put out now and then.

[Seekrit]

Oh Sal, what a good way of saying all of that, I agree with what you're saying - the breasts are being sexualised and feeding is no longer the 'natural' thing.
It always makes me knit my eyebrows when I hear or read people saying "I'm not going to breastfeed because it's just not natural for me." what could be more natural?

I know I'm not a 'young' mum, but the one thing that concerns me about feeding in public isn't the boobies being out, but rather the floppy tum! Which is why I'm going down to Supre to invest in some boob-tubes to wear under my clothes!

I also notice that this is a slight trend (what's "natural" etc) in the birthing department.. but I'm not going to get into that.

Of course, everyone has the right to choose but yes, I do see what you're saying and agree completely with you view

[Funkychicken]

well to be honest i always said i was going to BF but i would do it away form other people on my own however bub never took {i was upset that he didnt but sumtimes things happen} but i think if i did bf i would get over the fact that people look at u while BF after all its just a normal thing to do..
but u also need to know ppl are self con they dont like people looking at them and if they choose not to do it for any reason it is there choice and even no sum people may think its silly at the end of the day its there baby and there choice!
if u feel comf feeding ur baby thats great and if not thats great too, no matter what we all end up being great mothers to our children anyway it really dosnt make a diffrents..
{trying not to sound like a b***h while writing this} lol
Certainly don't sound like a b***h! In fact you have helped me to clarify a bit of what I was trying to say. My post was never intended to lay any blame on the mums themselves, more about questioning our society on what message young women/mums are being fed through the music/fashion media.:)

[Funkychicken]

I know I'm not a 'young' mum, but the one thing that concerns me about feeding in public isn't the boobies being out, but rather the floppy tum! Which is why I'm going down to Supre to invest in some boob-tubes to wear under my clothes!


LOL, ah...the floppy tum! Yep, I had one that I had to keep 'tucking' in all the time!

[ForeverMine]

I am one of those mums you are talking about... Sure, my generation see the breast as a sexual thing, much more than other generations im sure... but me personally I don't. I see the breast as something that would feed my baby as they are intended to. My original post about me breastfeeding or not has nothing to do with my breasts being a sexual thing or people seeing my boobs. Neither really mean much to me, I couldn't care either way.

I will do what is best for my baby and me, and I just honestly don't think that breastfeeding is it. There are sometimes alot of different circumstances when it comes to breast or not. But as I said, tonight I will def. have a go.

I honestly feel as this is a stab at me... when really I was just after advice, as I am generally lost when it coes to topic's such as these. But no harm done I'm sure :)

[Funkychicken]

Yes it is sad to see that some girls aren't comfortable enough with themselves to be natural with BF.
BFing is not something that is shown as a natural part of life anymore. I don't really recall whilst growing up that it was even ever mentioned or seen.
I must admit that DH is feeling a bit left out at the moment as they were "his" but he was a strong advocate for me to bf, even if a little put out now and then.
I think you have nailed a big issue here. It is not common to see family members, relations, friends of family breastfeeding in homes and public. Maybe it was once something that many young mums-to-be were exposed to and assumed that they would do the same. Having had a couple of really great role models myself, I always hope when I am breastfeeding in public that I may encourage another mum to breastfeed when her time comes.

[reAllytee]

Ok im not exactly the age group your talking about but i would like to add something & hope i dont annoy anyone here.
I too was one of those that didnt feel it was "natural" for me to b/f ( will add exactly why in a sec ) but towards to end of my pg decided i at least wanted to try because of what a few people have said over a few different threads. How could i knock something i havent even tried ?Unfortunately my milk never came in etc etc.
My midwives were very proud that i had at least given it a go especially when there is a reason as to why i didnt want to.
So now we come to why i felt as though it was unnatural.
I was sexually molested as a young child which has in turn made me feel very awkward about various situations & to the point of them causing panic attacks. This unfortunately includes bf & while that may seem odd to others its because we have been violated that we then feel as though its happening again & can be very terrifying.
Its the same with giving birth just as those who suffer a traumatic birth feel violated after someone who has been abused in some form can feel all of that before it has even begun.
So sometimes i think there are many issues underlying why someone whether they be young or old cant or wont b/f.
It is sad to think many wont b/f because they see their breasts as sexual objects but i think if that is the case then our system needs to be doing more than hounding us with " breast is best " cause i think we all know that. How about they try talking to the women about b/f at their Ob, middie or clinic appointments & possibly even have b/f as part of the antenatal classes. Then if it looks as though a girl wont do it just because she is scared then offer her all the support & guidance to make a better decision than one based on fear.
Ok sorry i hope that makes sense if not just ignore me :o

[Poopa]

I'm a young mum that breastfeeds. I was just talking to DF today about how so many young girls don't want to breastfeed. I felt uncomfortable about it (not about people seeing my breasts but because I felt funny having a baby suckle at my breast). But I tried it, knowing it was best for baby. And once my bubba was born nothing mattered but what was best for him.

[Leeny]

I was sexually molested as a young child which has in turn made me feel very awkward about various situations & to the point of them causing panic attacks. This unfortunately includes bf & while that may seem odd to others its because we have been violated that we then feel as though its happening again & can be very terrifying.
Its the same with giving birth just as those who suffer a traumatic birth feel violated after someone who has been abused in some form can feel all of that before it has even begun.
So sometimes i think there are many issues underlying why someone whether they be young or old cant or wont b/f.


To me, you've hit the nail on the head. I was molested from the time i was 11 until i was 16 and i feel the same way. I cant help bit feel that the young mums (or any mum for that matters) that bottle feeds for a genuine reason gets frowned upon and negatively targeted.

I did what was best for my baby - and that was bottle feed her. It was much better for her to have a mum that enjoyed bottle feeding her, then a mum that bawled whilst breast feeding and wanted her off off off. There are certainly mums who have it imprinted in thier minds from adolesence that breast feeding is bad, rude, should be hidden and what not, but i just believe mums need to do what is best for them.

I often wonder (quite weirdly i might add lol), if women were locked in a room, or grew up all alone, and on the birth of thier baby, were offered all the bottles and formula the needed, would they breastfeed which is meant to the the natural way, or would they bottle feed (which to me is equally natural, im still supplying my baby with the food they need to survive, and she's just as healthy as all the other babies out there). Maybe its just something thats a part of someones personality? That its just part of them, to not breastfeed? Maybe oneday they'll find out all the answers and we wont wonder why some people do what they choose to do anymore.

Im certainly not trying to offend anyone by my post, in a long winded way, im just trying to say that some mums bottle feed for a reason, mental or physical, some mums know that breastfeeding IS that they'll do, until they cant possibly do it anymore, and some mums just have no idea until they try :)

[SamanthaJane]

I'm planning on bottle feeding from birth.

But my decision is not based on the sexual aspects of the breast and thats been proven by my doctors. I've always felt uncomfortable about the whole idea of breastfeeding ever since i learnt about it. I very very very much doubt it will be something i am ever comfortable with, or feel natural doing.

It causes a lot of distress for me to think about breast feeeding, and both my 2 doctors know this. But its just the way my mind works. I have worked with my doctors to try and change my attitude towards it but i have had no luck. And they are happy with what needs to be done now (bottle feeding) and so am i.

I realise once the baby is born my thoughts toward it may change, though my doctors doubt it, so i'm just planning to bottle feed and prepare myself for all the negative comments i may receive from the group decision that has been made.

[Illusional]

*nods in agreement to the above*

Its not all about young mums 'Not wanting' to breastfeed their babies due to their breasts being 'sexualised'.. these days there are so many things that come into play. Emotional,Physical reasons need to be accounted for - and not all people are crash hot on feeding their babies - no matter what is proven best by anyone.
I so agree that some just turn their noses up and go 'heck I aint doing that' (my sister is one of them).

I breastfed my daughter at 16, but could only do so for 3 months until I lost my milk due to stress related reasons.

I did however breastfeed my other two until they were 12 and 18months.

[♥Heaven Sent♥]

Hi i am a young mum and had my first bub at 18 i didnt once think that I was going to ff i guess thats why i was really let down when i had to do this after bf for 4 months due to complications i had a lot of troubles feeding my dd but proceeded to bf with all the help i could get im glad i did as i know that i tried my hardest and dd got the best nutrients for the first 4 months of her life.I will be bf feeding this time and i have no doubts i will do the same as last time:thumbsup: .

[Miaow]

Im not a young mum (41 now ) but i had a few of the those feelings about breasts before i had ej. Being shy of showing breast etc in public. I must say though once i started feeding her I sort of got over most of the shyness in ways and I have to say breast feeding is a lot more convienient than trying to prepare bottles in the middle of the night while half asleep lol It still feels a little weird feeding in public especially around family etc but Ive sort of got to the stage of thinking who cares if any one sees

[Mischief]

I was sexually molested as a young child which has in turn made me feel very awkward about various situations & to the point of them causing panic attacks. This unfortunately includes bf & while that may seem odd to others its because we have been violated that we then feel as though its happening again & can be very terrifying.
Its the same with giving birth just as those who suffer a traumatic birth feel violated after someone who has been abused in some form can feel all of that before it has even begun.
So sometimes i think there are many issues underlying why someone whether they be young or old cant or wont b/f.
It is sad to think many wont b/f because they see their breasts as sexual objects but i think if that is the case then our system needs to be doing more than hounding us with " breast is best " cause i think we all know that. How about they try talking to the women about b/f at their Ob, middie or clinic appointments & possibly even have b/f as part of the antenatal classes. Then if it looks as though a girl wont do it just because she is scared then offer her all the support & guidance to make a better decision than one based on fear.

Thank you Ally. I understand. Me too.... :crying:

Every time I tried to breast feed I felt as if someone was twisting a knife inside me. It felt so un-natural, and I would sit there crying. I used every excuse (except the truth) and just prayed for the Dr, Midwife, or CHN to tell me that it was OK not to breastfeed.

In the end my supply was drying up, by evening Oliver would be screaming because I had no milk....I would be crying cause I couldnt fill him up, and worst of all, I DIDNT WANT TOO, I didnt want someone touching me constantly.

I had horrible Baby Blues, I couldnt bond with my son, I felt so guilty for that, and I felt so horrible every time I had to feed him. I didnt want too. When my supply started to dry up it gave me the perfect excuse to stop.

But since BF is best , and everyone I know was on my case about doing it (I felt really preasured to do it, even though it was causing me to breakdown)..... I started expressing at about 5 weeks and have kept it up so far. :) I'm trying to keep going for another 5 weeks, and then hope to start Oliver on some solids one bottle of formula and some EBM.

The other thing I found really hard was my family.....esp my inlaws, you didnt see any need to leave me alone when it was time for Olivers feed. I didnt want to be wiping them out in front of my SIL, or SIL hubby. I didnt really feel comfortable in front of my MIL. My BIL was good though, he would vanish as if I had the plauge (hes 14 LOL), but the others would just sit around...until either I gave in, asked them to leave, or would remove myself.

Maybe alot of people dont BF now days because we are embarrased at how other people seem to WATCH!

[MonkeyMum05]

This trend also has me confused, and worried...

I had my son when I was 21, but never even gave a second thought to how I would feed him. I was brought up seeing people breastfeed, and just new thats how you fed a baby.
My only concern was, after hearing so many stories about people who 'couldn't'... I started to get a little scared that maybe I wouldn't be able to do it either.
I can see how that little seed of fear, could ruin it for some mothers. Their own stress about the situation could make feeding very difficult, and allow them to 'give up' and say 'it's not working for me'.

I'm also a bit of a nutrition nazi, so I would not base my child's diet on a synthetic food when a natural alternative was available.

I am currently still feeding my 1 year old... but he seems to be self weaning already :crying:

[EskimoMumma]

For me its not because my breasts or breasts in general are sexualised. Its because i was left so scared and traumatised BF DS I am honestly scared to the core about breastfeeding. Everything that could go wrong with my breats, went wrong. Which is why i chose NOT to BF DD.

This baby, i am still undecided. But I am still scared and hurt over what happened with DS.

[blueeyes]

I think that it could be a combination of all the things that people have mentioned in the posts previous. I also think that support and education could be a contributing factor. Many women (regardless of age) may encounter BF problems but feel that they dont have the appropriate support or know where to seek support that they in the end either give up or dont BF at all.
I am not a young mumma but consider myself young at heart (28 who sees herself at 22!!!) but took to BF v.well, or more to the point the babe took to the breast like a duck to water and we have never looked back.
If there was more knowledge, support and available staff while in hospitals, then maybe thoughts would change.

[mamato3]

I am 34 and had my first DD when i was 24 I wanted so desperately to bf her but it wasn't to be. When I had my ds i tried again with no success. Lots of pain and tears for all. I was persistent, when i had my third i was going to try again, she is now 5 months old and fully breastfed and couldn't be prouder. I will admit though that you do get looks when you are out in public, but i refuse to feed her in a change room, who would eat in a toilet? :thumbsup: to all the new mums out there that give it a go. Sometimes though it just doesn't work out and that's ok.
I'd like to add that it's not only young mums that are deciding to go straight to formula. I know some 3rd time mums that have breastfed their first but have decided to formula feed the next two from day one, mainly for freedom issues. that makes me sad :crying: for the little ones. but i suppose each to their own:wave:

[cheezelkat]

I'm a young mum and breastfed DS :smiliedance: It was an issue though - all my family were FF, the girl next to me FF and it seemed like such an easy option. BF is a challenge, but the most rewarding one, ever.

Sadly, in the area I live, I've only seen a couple of young mums BF. Such a shame.

[*My Lil Blondie*]

hi im a young mum (18 when ds was born) i never once thought that he would b ff. i just assumed that i would breast feed and was really looking forward to the bonding etc. i was greatly disappointed when the midwives and child health nurse reccommended formula after a week of a screaming baby who was rapidly losing weight and myself being greatly distressed.

i still feel constant guilt about not being able to supply my baby with breast milk, and the comments i get from complete strangers while im shopping or watever about bottle feeding being the easy way out definately dont help.

[~Danni~]

I was 18 when DD was born and will be 19 with #2 and I bfed my first and will do the same for #2 (I plan on bfeeding #2 longer than DD I found it a positive experience:D )

While I am happy to BF my bubbas I was also put in many situations where I felt so uncomfterble that it made me question why I would want to do it...

#1 - My aunt and I have bubs with two weeks age difference, we were out at the local plaza and both bfeeding our bubs (me 19 her 36) I got so many comments (people waliking past and loudly saying things) most of them came from teenage/early 20 boys all comments were directed at me and my auntie got nothing, while it is easy to say dont listen or ignor them its actually quite difficult and I felt quite harrased.

#2 - Some of our friends are (obviously) in our age group (18-20) even in my own home I felt uncomfterble feeeding in front of male friends (and some female), I think there is a lack of understanding in some young people especially ones who are not considering kids anyt time soon. Instead of letting me feed my bub in peace I was made to feel like I was doing somthing 'sexual' in front of them. ( DF was fully supportive of me and we nipped the problem in the bud but I see why some would not be able to even consider BF'ing as an option)

#3 - the amount of people who stare, I often felt that I attracted more attention because I was young, people automatically 'check you out' no matter what your doing pushing a pram/buying food/BF'ing your bub and so instead of people just walking by going oh yeah mum and bub it would be oh look at that really young girl with her boob out feeding her baby.

:ecomcity: :ecomcity: I could go on for a long time but I wont and I will also say there are so many positive people out there who were always nice:thumbsup: but it's the nasty and uncomfy moments that I remember most.

[meme]

i was a young mum with dd1 (17yrs) i am proud that i breastfed. i had plenty of troubles starting out and sought plenty of help and support to deal with it. i breastfeed in public in the hope that i am helping to normalise the image of breastfeeding.
i grew up seeing it as normal and that that's just how babies are fed.:yes:

[Funkychicken]

Thanks everyone for your honesty and open-mindedness. The message that seems to come through from some young breastfeeding mums is that they were exposed to breastfeeding enough somewhere in their older years to see it as a normal practice. Others have expressed disaoppointment in the lack of support from both Drs, hospitals, family members and others. The current system of Breast is Best just doesn't seem to work though. There are many people expressing fear and guilt for not having breastfed because they are treated as second rate for not doing so.
So the big question is-What would help? Where should the breastfeeding campaign go from here? How do we encourage breastfeeding without the nazi approach? How can we help other new mums 'get the hang of it' and if it doesn't work out support their decisions regardless, without them feeling like they failed?
Ideas everyone???????
:)

[cheezelkat]

For young mums especially, the education needs to start in school. Kids get lectured about sex, pregnancy, condoms etc but things happen... if more young girls had support from their peers it might be easier on them.

[poshBecks]

Here's my opinion....

Is it anyones business what a mother decides? NO!!
Does it affect you? NO!!

Why does it even matter? If you want to b/feed, go for. If you dont, thats fine. Its not the end of the world. Seriosly.

[ForeverMine]

Here's my opinion....

Is it anyones business what a mother decides? NO!!
Does it affect you? NO!!

Why does it even matter? If you want to b/feed, go for. If you dont, thats fine. Its not the end of the world. Seriosly.


As harsh as that is... that's pretty much my opnion. To each their own.

[MonkeyMum05]

Is it anyones business what a mother decides? NO!!
Does it affect you? NO!!


So, if a mother decides to belt her child around, that's ok - it's none of my business - because it doesn't affect me?

If everyone held the 'it doesn't affect me' attitude, what an awful place this world would be!

[poshBecks]

So, if a mother decides to belt her child around, that's ok - it's none of my business - because it doesn't affect me?


Oh I'm sorry, were't we talking about breastfeeding? :banghead:

[ForeverMine]

So, if a mother decides to belt her child around, that's ok - it's none of my business - because it doesn't affect me?

If everyone held the 'it doesn't affect me' attitude, what an awful place this world would be!

I wont speak for PoshBecks... but what I was meaning/saying

was PURELY in the case of Breastfeeding.... do I think a child getting beaten up isn't my problem? God no... oh course it's our business. :eek: I studied youth work and child protection...

We are talking about Breastfeeding here....

[chicken]

I agree. I think everyone's experiences/upbringing is responsible for how they feel about it. I think the 'breast is best' campaign has be more than successful, and has probably gone too far (eg the nazi approach). I doubt whether there's any pregnant women out there who don't know the benefits to B/F. But each person's decision has been made for their own important reasons. Some people who have grown up with B/F may think that 'embarrasment' is a poor excuse. Yet I'm sure these mothers do not come to this decision lightly and so people should respect that, whatever the reason, it must have been an important enough reason to withstand all the negative nazi criticism that they know they will get.

[MonkeyMum05]

Oh I'm sorry, were't we talking about breastfeeding? :banghead:

I sense sarcasm?

I apologise if I took your post wrong... that's why I questioned it, to clarify.

[*My Lil Blondie*]

to be 100% honest as long as we have happy heathy chubby bubbys what does it matter how they are fed? breast or bottle as long as mother and baby are happy and healthy thats all that matters. i think thats the message we need to get across. if it wasnt for people constantly pushing breast feeding then i probally wouldnt feel the embarrisment or guilt that i deal with every day.

forget breast is best, i think every expectant mother knows that! i think thewy also know the benefits of breast feeding without it being drummed into them.

how about "Happy and Healthy is Best!"

[Funkychicken]

I just want to point out that this thread was never intended as a debate and I began it in the breastfeeding thread so as to try avoiding breast/bottle debates and the like.:)

[poshBecks]

I just want to point out that this thread was never intended as a debate and I began it in the breastfeeding thread so as to try avoiding breast/bottle debates and the like.:)

Sorry Funky Chicken, I just dont see how its anyone's elses business how we feed our children. So long as they are healthy. I am just sick of people judging either way. I am for both!!

[*My Lil Blondie*]

i hope u didnt take my post as a debate, i was just trying to state that the breast feeding message is extremely well known. there is enough info out there for young and old mothers alike.

but in the end people are going to do wat they feel is best for them and there babies.

[Funkychicken]

No problems, ladies. Just trying to avoid one of THOSE debates!:D

[ForeverMine]

I got my first taste of "looks" from other mothers on Friday at the Parents Expo in Brisbane. I was looking after my nephew who is 3 months old and is bottlefed due to his mother's health risks. I was feeding him and couldnt believe how bad I felt from looks of other mothers. I felt guilty and embarrassed that I was bottle feeding a baby and not breatfeeding, even though he wasn't mine.

I will most likely not be able to breast feed either due to health reason, however I will try.

I really think that "Breast is Best" should be pushed so much as "Happy and Healthy is Best!" as BrodiesMummy put it....

Really... in all honesty... isn't that what we should be pushing.

[Areca]

I think the breast is best campaign is loud and clear. What I think is lacking is support. Not from family members etc. but from nurses/doctors/CHN's etc. It amazes me how many time you hear people say 'I just didn't have enough milk' when the actual percentage of people that medically can not bf (due to lack of milk) is such a tiny number. How much wrong information is being given? I have read a lot about babies growing fine on breastmilk but CHN's advising them to give one bottle of formula a day to fatten the baby's up (even if they are growing at a steady rate). All that does is start the weaning process.
Also in hospital you hear of people getting different advice from every single nurse they see. I was lucky and knew this so found one nurse that gave me great advice and I only asked her for help.
I know there are lots of reasons why people choose to not even try bf'ing. Some are valid reasons, some are not (I want my boobs to stay perky is not a good reason...if you didn't want your body to change adopt a baby). I think they need to spend more time on breastfeeding in ante-natal classes and nurses/doctors/CHN's etc. need to be up to date on breastfeeding info before they start shooting off advice and if they are not, then refer the person to a lactation consultant.
It bugs me that there are so many women out there desperate to bf but due to bad advice don't get over the initial hurdles and lose that relationship.

[poshBecks]

I really think that "Breast is Best" should be pushed so much as "Happy and Healthy is Best!" as BrodiesMummy put it....

Really... in all honesty... isn't that what we should be pushing.
I agree completely. :) BTW you shouldn't at all feel guilty!!!!

[*Chels*]

This trend also has me confused, and worried...

I had my son when I was 21, but never even gave a second thought to how I would feed him. I was brought up seeing people breastfeed, and just new thats how you fed a baby.


Thats exactly the same as me!!!
I think people who CHOOSE not to breastfeed are selfish.Saying that,I totally understand that being sexually molested or having PND would affect your ability to BF.People who just choose to put their baby on a bottle coz its easier or they dont think its natural to breastfeed,are just being selfish.Its a babys god given right to be breastfed.

[xkwzit]

Alot of my friends who have had babies choose to bottle feed because they in themselves feel that it may increase their chances of keeping their once perky boobs for a little longer where as we all know that they are bound to head south at some point.


I have heard that it is actually pregnancy, not bf that changes your boobs. So having babies (not feeding babies) appears to be the issue. Go and spread the word :thumbsup:

Cheers

[~Danni~]

I have heard that it is actually pregnancy, not bf that changes your boobs. So having babies (not feeding babies) appears to be the issue. Go and spread the word :thumbsup:

Cheers


hear hear!!! I'm with you on that:D

[Elijahsmama]

My sister had serious BF problems which started when her milk came though at 4 days and had to stop when my neice was 2weeks old. She went from huge DD pre-preggie boobs to Bcup pancakes post preg and i am still BF at 10mths and have pancake boobies when they are empty so i agree with xkyzit and it's the pregs fault not the sucklings.

[Elijahsmama]

I am also very body consious and find it very acqward with others around but there are always places to feed in private so if thats their reason why not to BF - im sorry but IMO its a very sad one.

[bec79]

Before I begin, I have to say that I haven't read throught this entire thread...I'm just too tired. I just wanted to add that I think half the issue when it comes to young mums not chosing to or not successfully b'feeding, is the lack of support from our health system.
For example, my sil's sister just recently had a baby. I asked after her a few days ago, and was told that she had to give up trying to b'feed because she didn't have enough milk. When I asked how long she did b'feed for, I was astonished with the response...1 day!!! How on earth can any new mum establish a good milk supply in 1 day? And how did any CHN/ mid wife/ etc establish she 'didn't have enough milk' in that short period of time???
I wish there was more support networks out there for mums who want the help.

[draught]

To those pushing the "happy and healthy is best" angle - while no one is disputing that this is a good approach, why turn what has up until now been a balanced discussion about trends in breastfeeding into the old guilt/blame bottle versus breast argument?:banghead:

Thank you to those who have stayed on topic - I have learnt new things (like pregnancy is the cause of my sagging breasts:rolleyes: ) plus some reasons for younger mothers making decisions. I am finding the input very constructive and useful.

[Funkychicken]

Before I begin, I have to say that I haven't read throught this entire thread...I'm just too tired. I just wanted to add that I think half the issue when it comes to young mums not chosing to or not successfully b'feeding, is the lack of support from our health system.
For example, my sil's sister just recently had a baby. I asked after her a few days ago, and was told that she had to give up trying to b'feed because she didn't have enough milk. When I asked how long she did b'feed for, I was astonished with the response...1 day!!! How on earth can any new mum establish a good milk supply in 1 day? And how did any CHN/ mid wife/ etc establish she 'didn't have enough milk' in that short period of time???
I wish there was more support networks out there for mums who want the help.
Most births in this country occur in a hospital. Those mums who birth at home or in a birth centre generally have a handle on breastfeeding. Hospitals usually discharge new mums within 4 days and I agree that mums do better recovering in their own homes but there seems to be a blank somewhere in between for a lot of new mums. Somewhere between the birth and discharge the breastfeeding doesn't seem to be addressed properly. And once mums are at home, there is next to no support. Surely a lactation consultant appointment in the hospital with at least three follow-up's at home could be arranged. I was so fortunate when my first bub arrived that the midwife on duty also happened to be a LC. She spent over an hour in my room with me and twice in this time other midwives came to tell her to 'hurry up'. She replied she would come when she had finished talking with me. I felt so nurtured by this woman whose name I cannot recall. I was always going to breastfeed and the first midwife to visit me post birth tried to make my baby's head and my boob connect with sheer force. It was awful-baby crying, me crying and thank goodness I had enough assertiveness to ask her to leave. When the LC came by a little later, she firstly sat down and talked to me about breastfeeding. When I was ready she observed and assisted, never forcing either of us. She set my bubba and I up for a successful 14 month breastfeeding relationship.
Maybe the government could financially assist LC's and/or ABA members in spending more quality time with new mums.

[brooke]

Thats exactly the same as me!!!
I think people who CHOOSE not to breastfeed are selfish.Saying that,I totally understand that being sexually molested or having PND would affect your ability to BF.People who just choose to put their baby on a bottle coz its easier or they dont think its natural to breastfeed,are just being selfish.Its a babys god given right to be breastfed.


hmmm very intersting... I dont think i am selfish at all for choosing not to breast feed its a very personal decision and I dont think that I have EVER been made to feel bad by anyone I am and always have been very happy with my choice!

I do see my boobs as part of MY body and something that help me feel attractive and sexy I dont think I am being selfish for wanting to feel good in my own skin, All off my friends breast feed and I still didnt want to breast feed and i think i experienced enough during my difficult pregnancy and just wanted my body back for me!
My baby and I have bonded fine and she is still happy and healthy and a very smart baby... and at the end of the day thats all that matters!

[reAllytee]

Most births in this country occur in a hospital. Those mums who birth at home or in a birth centre generally have a handle on breastfeeding. Hospitals usually discharge new mums within 4 days and I agree that mums do better recovering in their own homes but there seems to be a blank somewhere in between for a lot of new mums. Somewhere between the birth and discharge the breastfeeding doesn't seem to be addressed properly. And once mums are at home, there is next to no support. Surely a lactation consultant appointment in the hospital with at least three follow-up's at home could be arranged. I was so fortunate when my first bub arrived that the midwife on duty also happened to be a LC. She spent over an hour in my room with me and twice in this time other midwives came to tell her to 'hurry up'. She replied she would come when she had finished talking with me. I felt so nurtured by this woman whose name I cannot recall. I was always going to breastfeed and the first midwife to visit me post birth tried to make my baby's head and my boob connect with sheer force. It was awful-baby crying, me crying and thank goodness I had enough assertiveness to ask her to leave. When the LC came by a little later, she firstly sat down and talked to me about breastfeeding. When I was ready she observed and assisted, never forcing either of us. She set my bubba and I up for a successful 14 month breastfeeding relationship.
Maybe the government could financially assist LC's and/or ABA members in spending more quality time with new mums.

See i have to differ from this experience.
I had great middies in hospital ( bar one of course there always has to be one :rolleyes: ) they were fantastic in their help & advice. Even after i had given birth to DS the middie came back in to help me see if he would latch & show me what to do etc. She was so great especially as i couldnt hold DS due to all that happened in labour he didnt want to feed so was handed back to Dad. Later in the realy morning when he did wake up for a feed i again called for the middie & she was fantastic again helping with latching very positive & made me feel so proud saying she was suprised this was my first bub & i had latching down pat ! She too also had to help me hold DS etc again due to me not being able to hold his weight. I also had to have DS heel pricked tested for every feed ( due to size ) for that first 24hrs was horrible but was nice to know i could calm him by placing him on the breast. That all started to change though even though i had fantastic support. The middies at our hospital were great with help even two stayed with a girl in my room helping her to get her baby to feed as it had problems. There was a LC on call when you needed her she was lovely too. The problem was my latching wasnt totally working because DS had a tongue tie which actually cut into my nipple it was like a saw cutting through me then combine this with the fact he had teeth just under his gums & my wonderful experience soured instantly. Here was this little thing inflicting even more pain on me just as he had done through labour. I loathed him & the experience in the end ( i still do infact i feel physically ill when i think about it ). I had blood everywhere & often couldnt stop it before the next feed 2hrs later i was also comp feeding him by then because he would scream the place down from hunger.
I was someone who never got milk yep one of those very few cause after i gave up 4 days later i never experienced pain or anything just a little tightness as the colostrum went away but never any milk i even had the midwife who came to the house check me out & was actually quite gobsmacked especially considering i had DS on the breast all the time.
I then lost all support the moment i changed to bottle as though because DS was fed this way i should know what im doing. Sorry but i find it sad that you get left on your own & even cast out if you turn to the bottle this made me feel sad & possibly why i have become a little angry as to why people like to belittle those who do ( not speaking about you or any others in this thread btw :hugs: ) but sometimes using the bottle is the only option & we arent exactly harming our kids as i think it would be worse if we starved them.
I think it sad that their isnt support for both sides iykwim.
Anyways i think i have rambled sorry :o

[ForeverMine]

I simply was "pushing" Happy and Healthy is Best... as at the start of the thread I felt like I was being portrayed as a young mum who wasn't going to breastfed due to silly reasons.

Yea... this is a breastfeeding topic, but I felt like I should say something about me and my opinion. Was and never did intend on a debate.

To each their own.

:)

[Mummabear]

I agree about the sexualisation of breasts. Even though I'm not a young mum I also feel this way about breasts (I'm a bit of a prude :rolleyes:), however it will never stop me bf my children (when I'm able) - it just stops me allowing them to be used for sexual purposes during the bf period as I find it very hard to seperate the emotions attached to my breasts (if this makes any sense :o).

Another trend that I have noticed amongst young mothers (and please don't crucify me for this, it's simply an observation) - a lot of young mothers I have encountered have chosen not to bf so that they could get back out and party. This hasn't been restricted to young single mum's either. By ff their babies they were able to have them babysat easily and able to still enjoy the social life that others their age were enjoying. Whether I agree with this or not, it's not my place to judge, it's just something that I have encountered in my travels and I thought I would add it to the discussion.

[reAllytee]

Another trend that I have noticed amongst young mothers (and please don't crucify me for this, it's simply an observation) - a lot of young mothers I have encountered have chosen not to bf so that they could get back out and party. This hasn't been restricted to young single mum's either. By ff their babies they were able to have them babysat easily and able to still enjoy the social life that others their age were enjoying. Whether I agree with this or not, it's not my place to judge, it's just something that I have encountered in my travels and I thought I would add it to the discussion.


Yes i have found this in a few cases too !
But what i have also found interesting was a few still did b/f while going to parties & getting drunk then b/f.
I know i shouldnt judge but its hard not to at times :(

[SassyMummy]

I must say that I am a bit disheartened when I read about first-time pregnant mothers deciding to breastfeed from the get-go without any medical reasons as to why. IMO, EVERYONE should give it a go...and if it doesn't work out...well, you tried.

I always feel like I'm a bit of both - even though I've bottlefed DD for most of her life. In fact, I only exclusively breastfed her for 3 weeks...and by 9 weeks so was fully formula fed. It wasn't a pre-empted decision...it was done because I was miserable with breastfeeding and the sensations I felt as a result, and began to get ANGRY every time DD wanted to feed. I had a talk to the nurse, and made the decision to wean. However, I seek great comfort in the fact that I tried my best to breastfeed.

I was 19 when DD was born (only 20 now), and I never really worried about my breasts being a sexual thing. When I was 13 I was already a 12D...so I'd had plenty of years to have my boobs sexualised and such. By the time DD was born...I was so over it all. I didn't see my boobs are sexual objects...they were just...blah. So when I was given the opportunity to use them, I tried to do it.

I agree that a lot of people (not just young) formula feed because it's more convenient for social life. Not even that...it's generally more acceptable in PUBLIC life (well, if you're not a mother that is...while the general public often prefer to see mothers bottle-feeding, mothers are much more impressed, in general, to see breastfeeding).

I had the idea that I'd ONLY breastfeed in private when DD was born. That pretty much went out the window straight away...when people came to visit me in hospital after my c-section, I couldn't very well say, 'Thanks for hte presents...but DD wants to feed, and I'd really prefer it if you weren't here to see me do it, so get lost". Instead, I just dealt with it. Soon, my boobies were EVERYWHERE (quite often in hte foodcourts of shopping centres). In fact, that only place where I DID seek privacy, was at my Grandparents house...and that was only to courteous to THEM and their "old ways."

I do think there needs to be a drastic way in the way breasts are seen... why can't they be both good-to-look-at AND good-to-use?

[jessgray]

i think everyone who has contributed some valid points ,but really why do women feel the need to put down other mums? :detective:

whether you choose to BF or FF from birth its ultimatley your choice and people should respect that. i dont think any less of anyone for doing something i dont do. i FF my DS1 from birth but he didnt actually take a bottle till he was over a week old due to medical problems. he is lactose intolerant now, nobody actually told me about the higher risk of allergies of FF babies if there are allergies in the family.

i am going to give BF a go with Ds2 (due in october) to help minimise risk of allergies.but the way i see it if the baby is healthy and happy thats all that should matter either way they are getting fed.

and yes i am what people call a "young" mum i had DS1 6 weeks before my 19th. i am now 20 and cant wait for my second to come out:laughing:

[bronny-jane]

i tried to bf my dd 1 but she wouldnt latch and i was getting anxious about it all, i ff her and felt guilty about it, because it seemed as though i was doing the wrong thing.
with dd 2 i ff because thats what i knew best, it was a decision i made before her birth, because i had such a bad time with trying to bf dd 1.

this time however im going to attempt bf, but am in no way concerned if it doesnt work out, i know its more important that i love and care for my babies, it doesnt matter what why i feed them,

[bronny-jane]

Another trend that I have noticed amongst young mothers (and please don't crucify me for this, it's simply an observation) - a lot of young mothers I have encountered have chosen not to bf so that they could get back out and party. T

my intention wasnt to do this, but it did make it easier, i had pnd and felt that i needed to escape the responsibilty of being a mother for a few hours now and then.
im not proud of it, but it did help me realise where my responsibilties lie now

[Seekrit]

I have to say, as I read through, that a lot of the mums who haven't breastfed feel the need to justify why - "It wasn't because breasts were sexualised" etc.. and that's great.. but it's not the topic that Sal was talking about. She wasn't attacking anyone or singling any person out, simply commenting on a trend that's been noted in society.

[proud_mama]

Yes i am a proud young mother who proudly breast feeds my DS. I have never thought twice about it because i know it's the best thing for my bubba. and its such a wonderful time the bonding is great. although on a sad note my DS is only 6 months old and is self weaning already:crying: so it's a very sad time for me because i wanted to go for as long as possible. my little man is too independant:laughing:

[Leeny]

I simply was "pushing" Happy and Healthy is Best... as at the start of the thread I felt like I was being portrayed as a young mum who wasn't going to breastfed due to silly reasons.

Yea... this is a breastfeeding topic, but I felt like I should say something about me and my opinion. Was and never did intend on a debate.

To each their own.

:)


I agree, i couldnt care less how people feed thier babies, as long as thier happy and healthy. It honestly shouldnt matter either way. I think prehaps theres just a lack of support from one side or the other at different times.

[kymmy]

I worry more about older mums who choose to have a caeser, ff, and go back to work 6 weeks later...just a thought.

[the_queen]

I worry more about older mums who choose to have a caeser, ff, and go back to work 6 weeks later...just a thought.

A mother of any age who does this is a worry, IMO.

[kymmy]

A mother of any age who does this is a worry, IMO.


:yes: That is my opinion too.
I think ppl need to be ready for a child, to be ready to parent.
Though things aren't that straightforward all the time,
I believe that its important as parents we do what is best for our children.

[JorBai]

I hope I am not going off the topic here, its definately not intended.

I just dont think we need to sit here and make a generalisations about why young mums feel the need to formula feed. Its thier choice, and how does it affect anyone in this forum???

Unfortunately I had to FF my son after a long road of persistance and not alot of support but i feel uncomfortable reading this thread because if I was sitting at a table in the shopping centre FF my baby all you BF mums would automatically generalise and think I am young and didnt want to because of vanity. NOT the case:no:

It has also been mentioned that FF mothers are coming into this thread and going off the topic, this happens on many occasions in the FF thread where we get put down for positive FF comments.

In saying this, when we decide to have another bub I will be persevering with BF alot more but even if I did decide to FF- is it affecting anyone else at all????

[draught]

I think that the last few posts are missing the point - the original poster and most of the contributers to this thread have not been judging, but have been enquiring to find out whether the "trend" is actual, and then if so, why so. There are many threads on the lack of support for both bf and ff mothers of both ages - that is not what this thread is about. It is about trying to understand why things happen, if they happen. That is all. Again - please don't turn it into a ff vs bf debate as that is not it's purpose.

[HugsAndKisses]

I actually think there are very few that dont BF fo sexual reasons but just based on how they start the process..as we have heard in this thread already alot of our experiances are different and i think this is wat really determines wether a mother BF or not...

i was also told by my midwifes that my nipples were no good for BF..but then when another midwife came out to my house she said that was ridiculous and that i was fine and she was totally right...

i was actually ready to give up had she not helped me persevere as i thought i was not good enough or equipped with the right tools to BF my son...but luckily that day she heled me and i BF for 9 months :smiliedance:

[AppleBlossym]

I'm 24 and I love breastfeeding!

I will never let a drop of formula in my babys mouth.

I love to see mothers b/f, but esp a young mum! I think it is so beautiful.

After all :) BREAST IS BEST!:yes:

[Funkychicken]

I agree with Shannon here completely. There seems to be many posts here from mums, especially young mms, who didn't breastfeed or stopped breastfeeding because of the first experiences. And again, some mums had great, encouraging midwives, some had the opposite experience. I guess I began this thread to find out what it was that stopped so many young mums from breastfeeding and from these replies it seems to be the same reasons mums of any age choose not to. So, maybe I'm completely wrong. I think I have had some faith restored that our 'young' society is not as hung up on their exterior presentation as I first thought.
Thank-you to everyone who has contributed here and helped to ensure that this thread didn't go down the road of breast v's bottle or become a slander match between those who chose one method of feeding over another. Yay for all the bubhubber's!:yelclap:

[Mischief]

I love to see mothers b/f, but esp a young mum! I think it is so beautiful.

I agree.....breastfeeding is beautiful. I have a photo of Oliver feeding (from before I started expressing) and its so beautiful. I wish I could breastfeed him and bond, but I can only do one or the other. :(

[twolittlegirls]

I'm a young Mum, 22, and I breastfed my little girl till she was 3 months. The reasons I gave up are nothing to do with body image (if they were I would never of had a baby, stretch marks are great!!) The reason I gave up is because I started to become very depressed. It obviously just wasn't for me. I admire people who do breastfeed for long periods. I know how hard it was for me. When I have another baby my goal is to reach 3 months again. If any longer that is great but I'm not going to put myself through what I did with Maddy.

I have always been told that the best thing for a baby is a happy mother!

[meme]

i still think that there is room for more information on breastfeeding. some mothers have commented about being given conflicting information, or lack of support.
i found my local aust. breastfeeding group helpful (and within walking distance. because transport can be an issue for younger mums who may not drive or have a car.)


while many mums feel that any choice is taken away from them due to circumstances, many problems can be overcome with good information and support. it is out there if you look for it.

whethr mums breastfeed or not is a personal decision, however the consequences of premature weaning do affect our whole community and world. whether it's from tax dollars for health care due to longer and more hospital admissions or environmental issues because of resources used to produce infant formula. there are many reasons behind peoples passions for promoting and suporting breastfeeding.

the breast is best slogan is not doing anyone any good because in some cases mums and their families find that ff is best for them.
many breastfeding advocates are making the change to discussing breastfeeding as the normal way to feed a baby. this leads the way open to educating families involved with babies that there are some risks associated with stopping breastfeeding prematurely,( as there are risks to be taken into consideration when making many decisions for our families), but ultimately the decision has to be a personal one.

just adding this to the discussion,
respectfully to all.

[MummyCharmzy]

I had my first at 17 and he was premmie so couldnt breastfed, instead i expressed breastmilk for him for almost 5 months

I had my second at 19 and she was premmie and had tongue tie.. again she couldnt breastfeed but we tried for 10 weeks to get her to with my expressing in between and then i gave up trying and expressed until 14 weeks when my milk dried up probably as I had already concieved again.

12 days ago, now aged 20, I had my 3rd baby and I am breastfeeding and expressing for her. She seems to have nipple confusion atm (had to start giving her topup feeds as she was continuing to lose weight) so we've been having big problems getting her to attach. if we can sort out our issues I will feed for at least 6 months, if not then I will express for 3-6 months depending on how things go. 3 months is my bare minimum for expressing though.



I do not overly agree with it just being young mothers that are choosing not to bf and the reasons why. I am noticing it with EVERY age group. It bothers my a great deal. It also bothers me that despite the vast amounts of help around with bfing many mothers give up trying after only 3 or 4 days from cracked nipples/attachment issues etc. There are SO many avenues of help out there, I had lactation consultants out to see me a few times with DD, I did lactation day stay at a local hospital, theres 24 hr advice lines, ABA website is full of information etc etc etc.... i think more ppl need to try for longer and not give up so fast.

[faery]

i definately think that there is an over sexualization of breast out there. i'm not sure if that is a reason for women not to breastfeed, but i do think it is part of the reason that other people (ie: not mothers) have issues with it.

i'll whip out the boobie anywhere i need to feed jarrah and am not shy about it as he needs to eat (and always wants to eat when i am!). i do find that we get odd stares and looks from people, usually men. but thankfully no comments as they would get an earful from me.

is it the sight of a naked boob that offends people? cause society seems to be okay with boobies selling cars but not feeding kids in public. I'd imagine that it is those looks and comments that may turn mama's off from BF rather than the idea that boobs are sexual. so maybe the education of "breast is best" or whatever needs to be directed out to the greater community rather than mothers.

[TrulyBlessed]

I'm 21 (almost 22) and I bf my son, who was born in April. I bf him in public also. I don't make a huge scene over doing it but if someone sees something they don't like while I'm bf him I think its their problem not mine, because if they don't want to see something its simple don't look. I don't think I should have to fed my DS in a toilet because they wouldn't eat in a toilet so why should he.

[Goosie22]

I think the statement "my boobs are his" is a symptom of poor self estem. Your body doesnt make you who you are, you personality does, your inner strength and what you can do with your life. A mans love means nothing at the end of the day if it qualified by your physical appearance.

And Not breastfeeding does effect other people because of health dollars used to treat illness prevented or lessened by breastfeeding for at least 6 months before the introduction of cows milk. The benifits of breastfeeding stay with us for a life time preventing things like type 2 diabeties, obesity, oseteoprosis, various types of Cancer and many many more.

[Funkychicken]

I think the statement "my boobs are his" is a symptom of poor self estem. Your body doesnt make you who you are, you personality does, your inner strength and what you can do with your life. A mans love means nothing at the end of the day if it qualified by your physical appearance.

And Not breastfeeding does effect other people because of health dollars used to treat illness prevented or lessened by breastfeeding for at least 6 months before the introduction of cows milk. The benifits of breastfeeding stay with us for a life time preventing things like type 2 diabeties, obesity, oseteoprosis, various types of Cancer and many many more.
And I'd like to add, reducing the risk of breast cancer in the woman doing the breastfeeding. This reduces more so with each child fed.:thumbsup:

[bec79]

I do not overly agree with it just being young mothers that are choosing not to bf and the reasons why. I am noticing it with EVERY age group. It bothers my a great deal. It also bothers me that despite the vast amounts of help around with bfing many mothers give up trying after only 3 or 4 days from cracked nipples/attachment issues etc. There are SO many avenues of help out there, I had lactation consultants out to see me a few times with DD, I did lactation day stay at a local hospital, theres 24 hr advice lines, ABA website is full of information etc etc etc.... i think more ppl need to try for longer and not give up so fast.

Completely agree!!! I have heard quite a few stories from friends and family about the lack of support they got whilst trying to establish b'feeding. So much so, they just ended up giving up. I don't think there are a lack of resources available, but perhaps most new mums aren't made aware that they exist??

My mum and older sister both b'feed, so for me, it was an easy choice. However, it wasn't an easy task to perfect. With lots of support and advice from my sis...I have been blessed with almost a year of b'feeding bliss!!
Perhaps those mums who come from families where ff feeding is the norm, give up on b'feeding to readily because of family pressure??
Can anyone relate?? Or am I just hypothisising to much??

(just wanted to make a special mention to my older sis...my best friend, my sounding board, my shoulder to cry on, my 24/7 parenting helpline!!):laughing:

[cheezelkat]

Before giving birth, I was worried about the support. My partner had no interest, my mum FF and I didn't know where to go for help.

In hospital, a nurse came around with pamphlets about the breastfeeding clinics that were local to me, and the midwife who discharged me booked me into a clinic for 2 days later. I don't know if thats standard in other hospitals though. If they didn't have that kind of support, I wouldn't have continued bfing my child.

[SammieSnail]

From my limited experience I would not be able to say whether I think this is an increasing trend or not.....

In my entire life I have only seen one woman breastfeed (other than my own mum who successfully b/f myself and two sets of twins)....:eek:

I think whether or not a woman feels comfortable b/f can sometimes be attributed to the attitudes and experiences of those around her.

Like I said, I have no experience with b/f....I will be the first of my brothers and sisters to have a child....and I will be the first of around 25 cousins to have a child....none of my close friends have had children while I have been friends with them (although six of my close friends DO have toddlers or older kids) so I have not seen them b/f or followed their b/f experiences....
So basically I have nothing to base my future b/f expectations on....

My DH has issues with past girlfriends 'turning' bisexual and therefore is very 'protective' over my body....especially since having his old friend's girlfriend constantly hitting on me and trying to see my boobs....
If I were to b/f in public, or even infront of friends or family DH I'm not sure how DH would react :no:

I think it would be a mixture of anger/hysterics/shock/sadness/insecurity....oh the list is endless...

This of course will not affect my wish to b/f but I know it will affect my ability to b/f.....:banghead:

Does that make any sense?

[Funkychicken]

Sammie, if you do want to breastfeed, and it your decision alone, you might want to discuss this with your partner sooner rather than later. You need him to be aware of your choice so he can support you. When you bub does arrive, you will be dealing with all the hormones and feelings from the birth and if you haven't 'decided' you could be left feeling frustrated and upset. Get onto the ABA and talk to them on the phone. They can probably help you with your issues with your DP. They are a free service to use and if you decide to join them it is a small annual fee.
Good luck.:)

[SammieSnail]

Thanks Sal, I'll definitely get onto the ABA for support :)

Yeah, I've already told DH that I will be breastfeeding, which he totally supports....but he seems to think that everytime it happens I will be 'behind closed doors' IYKWIM...:rolleyes:
I understand where he's comming from...with past experiences and such....
but as you said, if I don't address it now it'll be upsetting and frustrating when bubs arrives...:fingerscrossed:

[meme]

when my dp and i had our first bubba (my 2nd) i told him i planned to breastfeed and asked him what he thought about that. he said he thought he would feel uncomfy if i did in front of friends. people.... but when our baby was born he never ever had a problem with me feeding her whenever and wherever. he is just happy i can stop her crying and make her happy. he knows how great it is for her and how important it is for me
i i tried to convince him to try breastfeeding her himself ...!:p , he thinks it's great and everything now, but isn't ready to try and lactate himself:rolleyes: but his veiw of it has changed so maybe you'll find that too..

[FinnsMama]

I agree with so many of the points already made here.

I think there are so many reasons why young and old (and in between!) mums don't bf, and the sexualisation of the breasts certainly seems to be one of them. Other reasons include lack of info and support for mums who want to bf, and the fact that many of us grow up never seeing other women bf so it doesn't feel normal and natural like it would if it were all around us growing up.

We definitely do not live in a bf-friendly society as such (what I mean by that is our society isn't conducive to women bf - does that make sense?). Even in strict muslim countries where women wear purda it is acceptable (normal) to bf in public!

It makes me feel so sad, but I don't see things changing in a hurry.:(

If the rates of bf are going to increase hps need to be educated about bf - soooooo many women receive incorrect bf advice from their gp, chn, midwife or paediatrician. There needs to be more funding for the aba - so many women don't even know it exists. In fact it would be great if all women, as part of their standard antenatal care, attended an aba breastfeeding class. I did this before ds was born and I learnt so much - I definitely believe it has helped me suceed with bf. Of course there will always be women who choose to ff and that's their right, but I believe with the right info and support many more mums would sucessfully bf.

The other thing that will help is for us bf mums to do it in public:D!!!! The more mums who bf in public the more normal bf will become to other women.

[NZMama]

Okay I am guilty of skim reading the majority of this thread so if I have missed something then forgive me.
I have to say at the end of the day as long as the baby is happy and healthy then thats great!

There are soo many things that could go wrong with our wee ones health...why for cosmetic reasons would we not want to at least try and give them the best start in life. This is the way we were created, that is what they are there for. I dont get why a person would feel uncomfortable with BF their baby when it is only natural. Yes my breasts are a part of my body and make me feel good about myself too, but when I had my babies they were my number 1 priority.
I was 22 when I had DD1....I didnt care about excess skin, saggy tits, stretch marks (okay I attempted to minimise them) as long as my baby was 100% healthy. My daughter was born with a cyst in her eye and was in and out of Dr's offices and had been operated on before she was 1. That was soo hard to go through and I think something that we take for granted when making some choices.
I have friends who tried and failed for reasons, but at least they tried. I dont agree with the nazi stance on FF mums, I dont want to judge anyone else for their choices.... I dont attack anyone else..... It just reinforces my own choices.
Its good to see the babys that were FF are healthy and thats all that matters at the end of the day.
When we make the choices I chose the do the best with what god gave me, thats all anyone can ask.

I do think that instead of putting all the focus into pushing the breast is best message there should be more focus on information and support. I know that this exists but agree that most young mothers I know who go straight to FF it is because of the lack of understanding and support....there are also a number of people who are just plain lazy or selfish. Its is such a sad thing to see.

[suemp]

i am not exactly a young mum. when preg with my first the thought of b/f erked me a bit but as everyone tells you its the norm to do and is "best for the baby" i gave it a go. than i was un able to b/f as my son had quite a severe tongue tie and was born with low muscle tone in the face. i asked the mid wife if there could be anything wrong with my baby (at the time my son was not diagnosed with any problem) and her response was im sick of mothers making up excuses as to y they cant b/feed. it made me traumatised and i felt like a failure, in the end i asked the m/wife to let me try formula where once again i was made to feel inadequate. so this up coming birth i dont know if i want to try. it s not about feeling my breasts are a machine for sexual pleasure...i mean i barely let my dp touch them...and i was brought up with an extemely prudish family where breasts are for feeding..nothing else. i guess i cant explain it really. its a bit to do with feeling like a failing mother again. when you see your first child so stressed over trying to b/feed than when you put them onto formula they become a content full baby and i finally felt i was doing the best for my baby it makes me feel well maybe i will just f/f from the start. i will try but this time put less stress on myself and put a blind ear to negative comments by mid wives.
i have known 2 women close to our family commit suicide due to pnd and so if someone is serious about not b/f please dont make them feel inferior..they dont need the extra pressure.

[reAllytee]

i have known 2 women close to our family commit suicide due to pnd and so if someone is serious about not b/f please dont make them feel inferior..they dont need the extra pressure.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[NZMama]

i am not exactly a young mum. when preg with my first the thought of b/f erked me a bit but as everyone tells you its the norm to do and is "best for the baby" i gave it a go. than i was un able to b/f as my son had quite a severe tongue tie and was born with low muscle tone in the face. i asked the mid wife if there could be anything wrong with my baby (at the time my son was not diagnosed with any problem) and her response was im sick of mothers making up excuses as to y they cant b/feed. it made me traumatised and i felt like a failure, in the end i asked the m/wife to let me try formula where once again i was made to feel inadequate.

People like this should not be allowed to work in this area. I feel for you and it must have been hard :hugs:
I wouldnt let such a nasty person effect any future choices you may make....goodluck with bubs 2

[Lil X-men]

Just had to laugh as someone said a few pages back about choosing not to Breast feed as it would preserve their perky boobs, but I found that my boobs were already ruined before bubs was even born, as they swelled so much during pregnany that they were permanantly stretched and couldn't possibly stand up as well as they had before having kids!!! So if they are planning that to save their boobs they are going to be dissappointed lol!!!:laughing:
So it seems silly not to feed for that reason. But thats what they believe them let them lol:laughing:

In saying that I only fed for 5weeks due to recurrent mastitis, I had plenty of support and all the advice in the world and I still couldn't get it sorted, and felt all the guilt imaginable when I put him on formula.
Still he is as healthy as any BF baby so I am of the opinion that happy and healthy is best.
I think if possible you should at least give it a try though. I will try again with my next baby and if it doesn't work out try not to beat myself up about it.
That is the worst part, having to FF and being made to feel like **** about it.

My son is 15months old now and on cows milk, no more bottles yay!! But I still have the guilt when I talk to people about what happened with my BF, they ask me all sorts of questions, did you do this and did you do that, and I am like YES!!! I tried everything possible to keep feeding my boy but none of it worked.

If I had to chop off my arm in order to save the chances of bf my son that still wouldnt be enough to convince people that I had given it my all!!
I now realise that I can't please everyone so it is best to do what your instinct tells you.
I do feel it is selfish to decide not to BF purely because of cosmetic reasons, I don't know anyone who has done this, but they are obviously out there.

I think there are much bigger risks and worries we should be addressing other than BF anf FF though, such as smoking, drugs and heavy drinking during Pregnancy that worries me a whole lot more than what milk they get!! But I won't start on that.
Shutting up now :ecomcity: :ecomcity:

[LilShenanigans]

It's interesting thought, People not breastfeeding for choice because it's all too 'weird'. I've never sexualised my breasts in anyway, I kind of hate that area of hmm foreplay lol

I remember when I was 16, I told my first intimate boyfriend not to "Do that" as he was a grown man who should've given up years ago! :rolleyes:

Although, didn't quite comprehend how long DD would stay attached!