16 month old screaming - any advice

[sasholi]

Hi there.
I have some issues I need to ask some of you about.
I need to know if this is firstly normal and if it is, what on earth I can do about it - because I have been racking my brain and I sometimes feel like my son is turning into someone I don't particularly like at times, which feels so awful because I love this little guy like crazy!!!!!!

Anyway, on with the question.

I have a child who is definite in his emotions - when he is happy, he is SOOO happy, but when he is unhappy, there is not a person in a 10 km radius who is not aware of it! (ok, slight exaggeration, make that 9km radius). ;)

He is a screamer. He screams when he wants my attention, he screams when a toy is slightly out of reach, he screams when his toy doesn't do what he wants it to do, he screams even when I'm not sure what he is screaming for, he screams at the cat for no apparent reason (just follows her around screaming over and over). They are really really loud and really quite awful.

He doesn't really do "tantrums" as such, and any tantrums are associated with things like getting in the car when he doesn't want to and stuff like that. Things that we deal with straight away - mummy with a calm voice proceeding to buckle him in etc etc, and he's fine within 60 seconds.

He doesn't really throw massive tantrums when he doesn't get his own way. He does the usual little displays showing me he is not happy with the situation, but they are relatively easy to deal with - distraction, explanation, calm, and he is fine. He gets over it quickly. But it is this constant screaming - when we are out, at home, all the time.

He knows signs for drink, food, bath, sleep, bird, etc, and when he wants something, he signs quite well. But lately, he has been signing and screaming at the same time.

I say, "small voice Aleksander", make a small sign with my thumb and forefinger, and speak softly so he knows what I mean. I have been doing this for well over a month now, consistently, and nothing.

Does anyone have any idea what could be going on or what to do? My husband and I feel totally lost and I am getting so frustrated and feeling like a total failure as a mother. You know, if you do it all right, your child is supposed to just be "perfect" right??? Hehe, I know it's not true, but you just sometimes feel soooooooo conspicuous as a terrible mother when you are out and this gorgeous child of yours just keeps screaming... It's terrifying.

Oh, he's in day care 2 days per week - do you think that could have any bearing on it???

[reAllytee]

Im hearing ya !
Ummm ok well maybe it is daycare because he feels he needs to do this for attention there but have they said he does this while there ? If not maybe he is just seeing another child with this behaviour & is giving it a go at home ?
Its really a hard one & Boof doesnt even go to daycare for me to hope that it came from this.
I find its usually a frustration thing & the more calm i stay ( which is at times very hard ) the better he responds. I think at this stage because they are finally able to do so much they want to do what they want when they want etc & sometimes it doesnt go to plan.
Also another thing im going to mention & im not trying to be awful so im sorry if i offend but has he had his hearing checked ? cause sometimes kids act out due to things like that. Im going to have Boof checked by our CHN this week im pretty sure it isnt a hearing issue but then maybe it could be something im missing.
I also think ignoring the behaviour like its not happening helps in many situations as they realise it wont get a response so try something else or get on with their day.
But mostly as i said it sounds like its frustration which they all seem to go through im just wondering why we are going through this so early :rolleyes: :banghead:

[evesmum]

I agree completely.

He may be just finding his voice, Eve started doing this around 12mths and it continued for about 3/4mths until she started speaking more.

I would first be getting his hearing checked out just in case but if its all clear then Id say he was perfectly healthy and normal ( theres definately noyhing wrong with his lungs!).

I would either completely ignore the screaming but be very rewarding for quiet behaviour and catch him when he isnt screaming and say " you are such a good boy for not screaming" (or something like this) OR focus on encouraging his word useage so that he can avoid so much frustration.

For example if he is reaching for a toy and starts screaming say to him "I understand you are frustrated because you cant reach your toy (or whatever else it is thats upsetting him) but you dont need to scream like that as it hurts mummys ears, instead just ask mummy for help ". Encourage him to replace the screaming with saying help me mummy.

good luck