I never thought I would have to make this decision

[tweedledee*tweedledum]

I have found out I am pregnant and I have decided to terminate. I am going to have a medical abortion (abortion pill), because I don't think I could go through a surgical abortion. I am devastated that I am having to make this decision, but my children are so young and I feel my family is complete and I just cannot have another child physically either.

Has anyone else taken the pill? I would like to know your experiences.

*Please only supportive replies thank you.*

[happyluvy]

just wanted to throw a :hugs: your way :p

[Mathermy]

just a hug from me :hugs:

[BigRedV]

I haven't had the pill but I too have had to make this painful decision :hugs:

[tweedledee*tweedledum]

I don't know how to feel, to be honest. I am a bit numb about it and trying not to think about there being anything inside me. I am only 4 weeks along, so that helps a little. This is just such a horrible decision to make, but for me it is the right one.

[Whispers]

:hugs:It must have been hard to come to your decision. I hope everything works out for you.

[misskittyfantastico]

:hugs::hugs:

[MumOf4Monsters]

:hugs::hugs:For you. It must be very hard for you to have to make this decision. Good luck hun.:hugs::hugs:

[Jax Tellers Old Lady]

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[tweedledee*tweedledum]

:hugs:It must have been hard to come to your decision. I hope everything works out for you.

Extremely hard. I have never considered abortion in my life and I am not against it, but I just never thought I would choose it for myself. I had so many issues with my twins and the last pregnancy, that I almost died. My body cannot take another one and before anyone asks, my husband had a vasectomy, but obviously there was still some live sperm and this has just devastated us.

I have tried to think through the possibilities of going ahead with it, but it is just impossible for so many reasons.

[earthfairy]

Sending you lots of love & support....

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Whispers]

Extremely hard. I have never considered abortion in my life and I am not against it, but I just never thought I would choose it for myself. I had so many issues with my twins and the last pregnancy, that I almost died. My body cannot take another one and before anyone asks, my husband had a vasectomy, but obviously there was still some live sperm and this has just devastated us.

I have tried to think through the possibilities of going ahead with it, but it is just impossible for so many reasons.

:hugs: You don't have to explain to me whilst im prolife, I would never judge or put another down for choosing this.

[tweedledee*tweedledum]

:hugs: You don't have to explain to me whilst im prolife, I would never judge or put another down for choosing this.

It was more an explanation for myself really! I quoted you because you mentioned it was a hard decision and I think writing out reasons, may help justify it for me.

[BigRedV]

:hugs: You don't have to explain to me whilst im prolife, I would never judge or put another down for choosing this.

I wish you weren't the only one :thumbsup: :hugs:

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

I'm sorry it must be really difficult.:hugs: You have to make the decision that is right for you and your family. Best of luck.:hugs:

[SassyMummy]

I think there'd be something a bit strange about you if you could go through with a termination without any emotion at all - so don't feel bad for finding the decision a tough one.

You will do what is right for you and your family, just as we all do. It sounds as if you had definitely tried to avoid pregnancy, with the vasectomy and all... I think it's understandable that you'd not be happy with falling pregnant after that!

Best of luck to you and your family. :)

[tweedledee*tweedledum]

Thanks everyone. It has definitely shocked me and I know that this decision is the right one for us, but it still just makes me question myself I guess. My appointment is in a week, so I have that long to stress! I hope I can handle it, I really do. I am 100% sure that it has to happen, I am just not 100% if I can handle the aftermath.

[2girls&1angelboy]

i havent had the pill but my SIL has, she had the pill n i ended up having a surgical one long story.

[Blueberry Crumble]

Hope you find peace with your decision.

Just off topic, but I can see in your sig you have 3 kids, all same birthdays. I can see the first two are twins, but the baby is also born on the same date? Wow, thats cool!

[Annabella]

Its such a difficult decision, I hope you have some close friends and family to support you. **** you must be fertile!

One of my besties used the pill last year, she was in a similar position to you, never ever thought she'd have to make that decision but after 3 kids knew she couldn't do it again. Anyway, I think she was 4-5 weeks, they gave her a few pills she had to have at specific times I think, not sure but I think one of them stops the embryo growing, and the others taken after help to expel it from your uterus (sorry I don't know how to say that better).

She had kind of like really bad period pain and a fair bit of bleeding, I think like a very heavy period. Although it was a little painful, the worst for her was the emotional trauma, she felt awful. However I think honestly she would've felt worse if she'd had a surgical termination.

Not sure how long she bled for, I think the pain was for a couple of days but like I said, it was bad period pain, I guess it is like a period as in it makes your uterus contract and shed the lining (taking the embryo with it).

She had a checkup a week or 2 later and all was fine. I think like PP said, sometimes people have to have a D&C if it doesn't work properly.

I hope it all works out for you...

[CrystalMumOfTwo]

Just wanted to offer u some :hugs:
Must be very hard for both u and ur DH :hugs: good luck with everything!

[Queen]

:hugs: :hugs:

[tweedledee*tweedledum]

Hope you find peace with your decision.

Just off topic, but I can see in your sig you have 3 kids, all same birthdays. I can see the first two are twins, but the baby is also born on the same date? Wow, thats cool!

Yes all the same birthdays! It was a fluke too, because Liani was 2 weeks early.


Its such a difficult decision, I hope you have some close friends and family to support you. **** you must be fertile!

One of my besties used the pill last year, she was in a similar position to you, never ever thought she'd have to make that decision but after 3 kids knew she couldn't do it again. Anyway, I think she was 4-5 weeks, they gave her a few pills she had to have at specific times I think, not sure but I think one of them stops the embryo growing, and the others taken after help to expel it from your uterus (sorry I don't know how to say that better).

She had kind of like really bad period pain and a fair bit of bleeding, I think like a very heavy period. Although it was a little painful, the worst for her was the emotional trauma, she felt awful. However I think honestly she would've felt worse if she'd had a surgical termination.

Not sure how long she bled for, I think the pain was for a couple of days but like I said, it was bad period pain, I guess it is like a period as in it makes your uterus contract and shed the lining (taking the embryo with it).

She had a checkup a week or 2 later and all was fine. I think like PP said, sometimes people have to have a D&C if it doesn't work properly.

I hope it all works out for you...

Thanks for telling me about your friend and her experience. It is how I imagine it will be. It is essentially a miscarriage, so I guess that is what I need to prepare for. I was told that I have to revisit the clinic 2 weeks after so they can do a scan to make sure all the tissue is gone.

I think it will all hit home more once it is over and I think I will seek counselling, just so I can get through it without falling apart. I still have 3 children that need me and I have to be strong for them. They have no idea what is going on, so I don't want them to worry about me.

[DQ]

Wishing you all the best for the coming week :hugs: You know you will make the right decision for you and your family and you don't need to justify that to anyone.

I hope you have all the love and support you need. I am sending you heaps of these :hugs::hugs:

[calsmum]

You have to do what you both feel is the best for your family...:hugs:

[Tam-I-Am]

I'm so very sorry you're having to make this incredibly difficult decision :hugs:. My thoughts are with you.

[grass is always greener]

:hugs:

This is you and your DH's decision to make. It will never be an easy one to make, but no-one else can tell you what to do.

Your family needs you to be strong and healthy for them and from one of your PP you stated that you have a hard time health wise while you are pregnant.

[tweedledee*tweedledum]

Thanks again everyone. Yes, both pregnancies were very bad, but the most recent put me in a life-threatening situation. It had my husband looking at making a choice between me and my baby at one point and that is something I would never put him through or a baby through again. I was warned that another pregnancy would be very bad on me and the baby, which is why my husband had a vasectomy. This is why, I know I have to have an abortion. This why, it is such a difficult decision to make, because my mind says yes and my body says no. There would be a huge chance I would lose the baby along the way anyway, but given everything I already know and everything I have been through, I just don't see how I could pursue this pregnancy.

I have moments like now of extreme clarity, but come tomorrow, I could be very confused again. I am lucky to have such a supportive husband, but ultimately this is something I will be facing physically and emotionally on my own.

[Pinky81]

Just wanted to give you a big :hugs:

[RoarsomeMum]

:hugs::hugs: I wish there were words.. I can relate to the mind jump from perfect clarity to utter confusion..
I am glad your thinking of counseling afterward.. It can help so much in moving on and being strong for your family. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[tweedledee*tweedledum]

Thank you. I feel ok today. I am just going about my day as per normal. I am just trying not to think too much about it all, because that is when I get down on myself. I appreciate all your hugs and supportive, it is what I need.

[1983Bella]

I just wanted to send you lots of :hugs::hugs:.

I have had a termination in the past and I know how hard it must've been for you to make that decision. I just wanted to say that I admire your courage and I also wanted to wish you love and support for the future.

If I ever feel down about the decision I made I force myself to think about where I would be today if I hadn't made that decision.

Good luck :hugs::hugs:

[lealea79]

sorry that u had to make that decission it must have been very hard... something a bit of the subject.. how did u manage to have a baby on your twins birthday? thats a bit freaky :)

[tweedledee*tweedledum]

sorry that u had to make that decission it must have been very hard... something a bit of the subject.. how did u manage to have a baby on your twins birthday? thats a bit freaky :)

Total fluke actually!

Well, it's all over. I went to the clinic and took the tablets and the pregnancy ended this morning. It was not as painful as I had imagined and it all happened fairly quickly. I am booked in to speak to a counsellor on Friday.

[Tam-I-Am]

Well, it's all over. I went to the clinic and took the tablets and the pregnancy ended this morning. It was not as painful as I had imagined and it all happened fairly quickly. I am booked in to speak to a counsellor on Friday.

I'm so sorry :hugs:. What an agonisingly painful decision making process you must have been through :(

I'm glad it wasn't as painful as you'd thought it would be - and I'm also glad that you're going to see a counsellor.

I hope you heal (physically) quickly and easily - and I hope you find peace with your decision, and support and love :hugs:

[Mathermy]

I'm so sorry that you had to go through this, wishing you much peace, love and healing :hugs::hugs:and big squeezy hugs :kiss:

[tweedledee*tweedledum]

I'm so sorry :hugs:. What an agonisingly painful decision making process you must have been through :(

I'm glad it wasn't as painful as you'd thought it would be - and I'm also glad that you're going to see a counsellor.

I hope you heal (physically) quickly and easily - and I hope you find peace with your decision, and support and love :hugs:


I'm so sorry that you had to go through this, wishing you much peace, love and healing :hugs::hugs:and big squeezy hugs :kiss:

Thanks, I really only had a few minutes of cramps and then that was it. My husband took the day off from work to look after me, but there was no need for it, but it was good to have him around so I could cry and talk to someone.

I know I will get through this and I know the decision was right for us and in actual fact, it looked as if there was no movement anyway when they did the ultrasound at the clinic, so I was really just quickening the process of the miscarriage I think.

This makes me feel a bit better, because it was already over before I did anything at all.

[LuvMy4Babes]

Big hugs to you Jiann for making an incredibly difficult decision. You're right though, you know you, your DH and your family, you know the situation and you did what you had to do. You are only to be commended for that :yelclap:

[ninjamidget]

you are a incredibly brave woman :hugs:
to go through two difficult pregnancies, then have to make this decision... I doubt I would ever be able to do it, and I admire your courage so much.
all that matters is that you know you did the right thing for yourself, and your family


much love and support, and good luck in the future with your beautiful family of 5 :):hugs:

[tweedledee*tweedledum]

Big hugs to you Jiann for making an incredibly difficult decision. You're right though, you know you, your DH and your family, you know the situation and you did what you had to do. You are only to be commended for that :yelclap:


you are a incredibly brave woman :hugs:
to go through two difficult pregnancies, then have to make this decision... I doubt I would ever be able to do it, and I admire your courage so much.
all that matters is that you know you did the right thing for yourself, and your family


much love and support, and good luck in the future with your beautiful family of 5 :):hugs:

Thanks for your kind words. My husband is going to have his sperm tested to find out what is going on, because he should have well and truly been out of the 'live' phase by now and we just don't want this happening again.

I think once I have spoken to an outsider and let out all my feelings, I will be fine. I have 3 children that need my attention and I can't dwell on this forever.