Help Me Please!

[~Emma~]

Hello Everyone

I am just about at my wits end with my two and a half year old. Not so long ago she became what I thought to be a very naughty child at times (yes we all think that about our kids at times). She won't listen to anything her father or I say, she trashes her room and the rest of the house, terrorises the cat, demands things (and cracks when she doesnt get them), most nights refuses to sleep in her own bed and will only go to sleep in our bed. The list does go on but I will stop there because I dont want it to sound like I have nothing good to say.

We cant find a discipline method that works. I have tried sitting down and talking to her, time out, ignoring her bad behaviours and even smacking (which I feel really bad about) - none of that has worked :no:

I am feeling very stressed out and feeling like I am failing as a parent. I want to be happy around her all the time but it is becoming hard when she seems so determined to 'be naughty' most of the time.

I love my lil girl to bits and I just want to find some way of controlling her behaviour before I am a crying wreck. (I am heading there very fast :crying: )

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated :)

Emma :banghead:

[Alekay]

:wave: Emma

Dont really have any suggestions except pick a method and perservre(sp) or maybe take some toys away then return them when she stops the behaviour or maybe some quiet time in her room or something. I just wanted to say good luck and you're not alone. My daughter is nearly 2 and started having tantrums so i just put her in her room and said she can come out when she stops and now she comes out of her room when she has stopped she just knows that is what she does it did take a while but that works. There is a few good books around to i really liked Toddler Taming found it really helpful and gave a funny point of view with lots of different techniques. Well good luck. I can give you the auother of the book if you want it

mel

[*Sal*]

Ah the terrible two's.... I have a 2 and a half year old boy and he is no angel either. I have found that ignoring his bad behaviour works well most of the time.
I also distract him when I can see he is going to misbehave. I engage him in another, positive activity, or if I am busy, he spends a little time watching TV or a DVD.

Does your daughter have a good routine? This can often help, as the child knows what to expect at various times of the day. If she is still having a nap, cutting that out may make her sleep better at night - this worked for my DD.

I know it can be really hard at times, so here's a :hugs: for you.

[~Emma~]

Thank you for your replies. I agree, I have to find a method of discipline and stick to it (a stress free one lol).

As for sleep, I think there has maybe been five times since she was born that she hasnt had a day time sleep of some description. She usually sleeps for up to 2 hours on a good day. Doesnt seem to have trouble sleeping at day care and I am told she usually puts her self off to sleep there.

I thought she had a good routine. Maybe I am wrong. What kind of routines do people have for their children? Would a timetable of some description be a dumb idea lol?

I really need to do something that works before her baby brother/sister is born in december :fingerscrossed:

[babyboo]

Hi Emma,

I have a 2 1/2 DD and sounds like we are doing battle with the same thing at the moment. Your definately not failing as a parent.

Im really hoping that is just another stage that will pass. I put DD in the naughty corner for 2 1/2 minutes and she is not aloud out no matter what until she is sitting quietly and behaving and if she carries on she just has to stay there until she does as she is told.

She likes to yell in my face - for some reason she thinks i have a hearing problem LOL. And alot of the time can be VERY defiant and will not take no for an answer or do as i tell her. But it just annoys the hell out of me when i tell her not to do something so she does it anyways (until im yelling no at her) and wont let up until she is on the floor in a screaming fit and I walk away.

On top of it she is full of energy and doesnt let up. So, she doesnt sleep in the day anymore otherwise come late afternoon/bedtime she is still bouncing off the walls - so gone is my 1hr in the day LOL. And I always know when they have let her sleep at daycare. Without the day sleep, but afternoon/bedtime she is winding down on her own and drops asleep within 10mins (ususally).

[JasmineLouise]

I know it is a wild stab in the dark (so to speak)

But maybe you should look at the foods your child is eating. But my cousin and sister have both been affected by foods (milo and coke for interest sake). By eliminateing these from their diets it actually had a profound effect on there behaviour. There is so much 'bad stuff' in foods and they can have quite a negative impact on children.

Not making assumptions that you feed your children bad foods iykwim:o

but it may be worth having a look at.

Goodluck:fingerscrossed:

[rynosmum]

We found our DS quite prone to tantrums at about 14 months. We cut Preservative 282 out of his diet and saw a massive change within a week. He went from uncontrollable tantys to small manageable ones.

Now he's 2 years and 1 month old, we use a mixture of reasoning and diversion which seems to be working very well. The same as someone else mentioned, pick one thing and stick to it.

We set very clear guidelines to important things (bedtime, where he sleeps, that he needs to eat, that he is safe at all times so holds our hand around cars and roads etc). We are a bit softer on the other stuff but still firm. If he throws a tanty when I go to change his nappy for example - I hold him, ask him simply to calm down etc which he finally does. I then tell him what we are doing and why we are doing it, I ask him if that's okay that we change his nappy and then we'll go and play with blocks/go outside/have a snack etc and he usually agrees. Sometimes he chooses what we do after and that's good too because he's 'owning' some of the decision.

We have used controlled comforting at bedtimes in the few phases he has had where he didn't want to go to bed. We do our best to eat dinner together as a family at least 5 times per week.

All kids are different and will react differently to any discipline methods. This one works best for us and I hope that there's something in it which will help you too.

Wishing you all the best:fingerscrossed: :hugs:

[~Emma~]

Looking at what she eats could be an idea.. Although I am pretty confident that what she eats is okay. I have never let her drink softdrink. She doesnt drink cordial and rarely eats lollies. Mind you, recently she hasnt being eating much of anything. I gave her coco-pops this morning for breakfast. :shame:

The last few days she has been refusing to eat breakfast at all so I figured something was better than nothing. She has become very fussy/difficult when it comes to all meals. She will pick at it and thats about it.

But anyway, back to the topic at hand, today has been far better than other days. Her four cousins were over this morning and I am pleased to say - she didnt instigate any fights :D

DD and I had a couple of little run ins over her getting into the pantry. Luckily all it took was saying 'No!' and getting down to her level.

Yesterday was a no go for a day time sleep. Today is the same. Last night she had a terrible nights sleep. Awake and screaming nearly every 20 mins until we put her in our bed. She slept until 8am though :thumbsup:

Hopefully this is the start of my little angel returning lol

[evesmum]

I hope for your sake your little angel is returning!

Im wondering if maybe co sleeping wouldnt be a bad idea for you to continue I mean you obviously get a better sleep when she sleeps with you and you may even find that her behaviour improves in the day simply because she feels more close and connected with you having snuggled all night.

Good luck:)

[Mumshmum]

Hi Emma
I have the same kind of deal with my youngest daughter, aged 2.10months. I will say to her "do you want to go to your room" and she will say 'yes'. This stumped me at first, but i continue to take her to her room. (it at least gives me some time out so I don't lose it!!!).
Have you read any or watched any of Dr John Irvines books. He uses a simple and easy to implement approach, using 'smiley faces'. You let the child know that their behaviour has made you sad. Together you decide on ways to make you happy again. If it is a recurring behaviour, he states that you need to 'teach' the child the recommended behaviour. His example is when you are talking on the phone and the children annoy you. He says we have to teach them what to do when Mummy is on the phone. Anyway, it is probably best to get a hold of one of his DVDs.
Another website you may want to visit (if you haven't already) is www.fedupwithfoodadditives.com.au
I couldn't believe the amount of nasty additives there are in our food. I like you don't give my girls much in the way of lollies etc, but now check the labels before i buy anything. I can notice a difference in my children's behaviour when they have certain foods.
Hope it is helpful.
Jacki