Guilt

[lukaelmo]

I am feeling very guilty, as I recently stopped BFing the dude during the night and am now worried that I am doing the wrong thing.

I stopped feeding him because he wasn't sucking for food he was doing it for comfort, and doing it every few hours.

Now we just give him his dummy and he goes straight back to sleep.

If he were hungry, would he insist? Honestly, I have spent his whole life stuffing him with food, so I have no idea of his behaviour when hungry... Would he wake up and cry'till I fed him?

At the moment I really only BF him once a day; the morning feed. I offer him the breast at lunch and then before bedtime, but he is just not into it. He has no other milk, but really enjoys his solids - when he stopped taking the breast at lunch and dinner I upped his solids to 6 feeds a day + snacks.

[AM]

How old is he?

I really do think he would let you know pretty fast if he was truly hungry, don't beat yourself up, sleep deprivation is a killer, and if you have found a solution which suits you both, full steam ahead I say! I'm jealous as hell, though! :D

[draught]

Don't feel guilty - you WOULD know if he was hungry. If he happy to go back to sleep then he isn't hungry - and the "experts" say that most babies after 6 months don't need food. (Of course explain that to my 20 month old who still thinks she needs milk at 4am:rolleyes: - but again that is about comfort not hunger!)

[misskittyfantastico]

I know how you're feeling:hugs:
My DD currently only has one BF a day an two FF's.
She doesn't want a bar of boob at those times...she pokes it, bites it, scratches it.
I feel sad and guilty but in my heart I know I'm doing the best I can.
As are you. Don't feel guilty, you're a wonderful mother and that's that.
PM me any time if you want to reminisce about the "good ole days":hugs:

[lukaelmo]

Sorry - I forget to add that the dude is almost 12 months... But small, somewhere between 7 and 8 kilos, not sure exactly as have stopped frequenting CHNs who continually freak me out about his size :o .

Hence the paranoia.

[Manxie]

Guess who! Its your B/F stalker

:hugs: - As ApprenticeMomma says I'm sure he would let you know if he was hungry, it sounds to me like you have done just the right thing. Dont beat yourself up about it (easy for me to say I know). I'd say it would be perfectly natural to be feeling sad about ending the night feeds (watch out for my post on this in the next month or so, LOL).

Your doing/have done a fantastic job, it sounds like he is one contented little bubba:kiss:

(Cue - Felicity for some proper advice!)

[sopolicha]

I recently had the same thing with Cha. I thought I was doing the wonderful lovely thing of co-sleeping and offering the boob whenever, wherever and however. Boy, was I wrong. It got to the stage where she would not sleep unless she was attached. The situation was getting desperate, I had to call in the Baby Nazi.

She came and told me that no child her age (Sep 05) needs to be feeding during the night and that she should be able to sleep through the night on her own. Realistically I should only offer the boob after the three main meals. The first night was a bit untidy, but now she sleeps and no longer looks for the booby. I am happier and see is so much happier.

I still sneak the odd suck in now and again when she is cranky. Don't feel bad, you gotta do whatcha gotta do.

[rynosmum]

Ali, you're such a great Mummy - please don't feel any guilt about what you are doing.

He would definitely be telling you if he was hungry at night, don't doubt that at all.

He is getting older now, have you thought about giving him some milk in a sippy cup and getting him used to having it that way ?

[lukaelmo]

She doesn't want a bar of boob at those times...she pokes it, bites it, scratches it.


Ah yes, I love the grabbing of the nipple with nails... and now we have really perfected it with a special little squeeze and twist :eek: .

But in the mornings we have a lovely snuggle and drink together and that is what I will remember...


Thanks T, I thought he would yell for food if he wanted it.

RM he barely even wants water from his sippy cup ATM- he has wet nappies but I have no idea where the wet is coming from. Do I have a little camel? But you are right, I should offer him milk a little more consistently from the cup.

Manxie how are you going? Last time I unleashed my paranoia on the hub things were back on track for you, weren't they?

[Manxie]

Ah yes, I love the grabbing of the nipple with nails... and now we have really perfected it with a special little squeeze and twist .
- What is that all about? I feel like DD is letting me know that its her property IYKWIM!!!

Can I ask do you still do the pre-bed feed? This is the next one for me to cut out and I just feel stumped about how I am going to do it. She still has a suck, dosent take much and mainly just has the aforementioned squeeze and twist! Do I offer her cows milk in the sippy cup (she'd be thrilled about this I'm sure:no: ) or just put the dummy in and down. I'm scared:eek: and a bit daunted by it

[lukaelmo]

Boy, was I wrong. It got to the stage where she would not sleep unless she was attached. The situation was getting desperate, I had to call in the Baby Nazi.



Yes, I had also turned into a 24 hour milk bar... or to be more correct, a 24 hour dummy...

[JnA]

She doesn't want a bar of boob at those times...she pokes it, bites it, scratches it.




Oh boy.. am I glad I'm not the only one. Jade still has her four lots of milk a day, but I'm getting a bit over the biting thing. It happens right at the end.. after a few times I noticed the change in her mouth just before she's going to bite, so I'd quickly rescue my nipple, after a couple of successful rescue attempts Jade started to give me the signal that she wasn't done yet (opening her mouth moving toward the nipple again) so I put her back on and she would bite me, look up and smile as if to say, "Got ya!" cheeky little monkey.


Only six weeks to go
Only six weeks to go
Only six weeks to go
Only six weeks to go
Only six weeks to go
Only six weeks to go
Only six weeks to go....

[sopolicha]

I am butting in sorry. I was really worried about the feed before bed also.

Now I just feed her after she has had her proper dinner. Then she has a bath and goes to bed after I offer her a cup of water.

[lukaelmo]

- What is that all about? I feel like DD is letting me know that its her property IYKWIM!!!

Can I ask do you still do the pre-bed feed? This is the next one for me to cut out and I just feel stumped about how I am going to do it. She still has a suck, dosent take much and mainly just has the aforementioned squeeze and twist! Do I offer her cows milk in the sippy cup (she'd be thrilled about this I'm sure:no: ) or just put the dummy in and down. I'm scared:eek: and a bit daunted by it


I have no idea how to go about giving this one up. I find myself really not wanting to give this feed. The morning feeds are so lovely and satisfying for us both, that when he fights and pushes me away at night I feel like I am ruining things... But then I couldn't not offer him a feed as that would just seem all wrong. And a big no to cow juice in the sippy cup here too :no: .

[lukaelmo]

I am butting in sorry. I was really worried about the feed before bed also.

Now I just feed her after she has had her proper dinner. Then she has a bath and goes to bed after I offer her a cup of water.

Does she take much after her proper dinner? Did it freak you out not to offer her a feed just before bedtime?

Is the dude going to starve if he sleeps from 7.30pm 'till 6am without food?

[Manxie]

Now I just feed her after she has had her proper dinner. Then she has a bath and goes to bed after I offer her a cup of water. - Thanks for that I might give that a go - (takes deep breath!)


I have no idea how to go about giving this one up.- Glad its not just me! I never thought the whole weaning process was going to be so hard and such an emotional rollacoaster - just another part to the whole weird and wonderful breastfeeding journey:D

[Funkychicken]

Ali, you have done an amazing job breastfeeding your little man for this long. Give yourself a huge pat on the back and remember that a whole new stage of babyhood is looming on the horizon!:hugs:

[bec79]

Reading this thread has put me at ease (some what). I'm glad I'm not he only one in this situation. DD is down to two feeds (morning and night). When I dropped the day feeds, she really wasn't phased. But now I'm trying to give up the morning feed and she's screaming blue murder! Early this week I was getting her straight out of bed and putting her straight into her highchair for brekky. The first few days she was fine...here I was thinking (wow, this is going to be easier than I thought). It had all gone pear shaped by Wednesday, when I gave in and have been giving the morning feed ever since. What should I do?

(sorry to highjack your thread Ali)

[Percy]

not sure exactly as have stopped frequenting CHNs who continually freak me out about his size :o .

Hence the paranoia.[/QUOTE]


This is my situation too. Wont be going back to the CHN

I am still feeding DS during the night, but i know that its a comfort thing, so am in the painful process of weaning him off. I feel guilty too, but as the others have said, i am sure that he would let you know if he was truly hungry. DS tends to bite my face if he is!

[cwsmum]

Is the dude going to starve if he sleeps from 7.30pm 'till 6am without food?

Nope...he wont starve :D My DD is 7mths and she sleeps from about 6:30 or 7pm til about 7am without even a sound, well, none that I hear. When she wakes up she is not interested in a bottle straight away, she plays in the cot for about 15/20mins before she starts to cry/cal out to me.

[sopolicha]

Does she take much after her proper dinner? Did it freak you out not to offer her a feed just before bedtime?

Is the dude going to starve if he sleeps from 7.30pm 'till 6am without food?

It freaked me right out. The last thing I always did before bedtime was give them a bottle or a bit of boob. We always used to say it is time for bath, boob, bed. It felt very odd putting her bed after nothing.

I was very sceptical, but it has worked an absolute charm. After the first night, she now sleeps for twelve hours. I still can't believe it.

I also like the early morning feed first thing, so I offer her the boob first and brekkie a bit later.