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Boobycino
11-08-2009, 16:01
I'm kind of amused by this whole thing - basically because my 'step mum' was verbally abusive towards me until I moved out of my dads home when I was 17, so anything that seems to be a downer for her does give me some satisfaction.

About 4 months ago my stepmum called me - which was odd enough in itself really, as she dislikes me - to ask me if I wanted to come to her and my fathers wedding. I was a teenie bit supprised, not having been told they were engaged, but they've been together for nearly 6 years and lived together for most of that time, so moving passed that, sure, I'd love to go to my fathers wedding. I could hear him in the background, so I was thinking it was very strange that she was calling and not him. I said yes, and she asked me if I was sure. I said yes, and she told me I didn't have to come, it was only going to be a small wedding. I said yes I'll be there and she sounded pretty flat when she said okay, its in november, she'll let me know details when they're confirmed.

I kind of forgot about it and I only speak to my dad once a month anyway, so I put it out of my mind.

I realised today that I'm planning to go on a holiday with friends in november and also I would like to see my mum for christmas, so I called and asked dad what the date is for the wedding, so I can plan my movements.

... he laughed... and was like "what? oh no, we're just taking it slow here..."

I said she'd invited me and he laughed again (nervous laugh) and basically told me they were't even engaged.

...

Thats pretty weird considering when she called me, I absolutely heard my fathers voice when we were on the phone, so I know she was within earshot when she made the phonecall, so she wasn't doing it sneakily, it sounded as though she was doing it right in front of him (as it sounded like he was talking to her also)

How puzzling! I really want to call my brother now, because he and dad are quite close and he probably knows more than I do.

I wont hide the fact I'm deeply relieved though! It honestly would have been hard to watch my dad marry her, considering our background. I'm still quite mad at my dad about the whole situation with her, because she was evil enough that rather than attacking me behind his back she would wait until he got home and then scream at me and call me selfish and spoilt and make it look like I was the horrible rebellious teenager - when really I'd just been in my room the whole afternoon. My dad should have known better, as he had been a single dad just me and him for years before she moved in, so he knew I was a good, polite and respectful person. I cant understand how he's never seen how spiteful and vicious she is.

Anyway... thats my weird update... I probably sound pretty malicious myself right now, but I have good reason to feel the way I do - more than I've shared here. She is a truely horrible person.

I still think its pretty puzzling though and I dislike mysteries like this!

Bunnyhugs
11-08-2009, 16:12
Wow - that IS really strange!!

shymmer
11-08-2009, 18:10
OK, here's my take on it . .

Yes, they are getting married in November. They felt obligated to invite you but she phoned you hoping you'd say no to her. She may have thought if your dad invited you, it increased the chance you'd say yes.

But her plan backfired when you said yes. She doesn't want you to go so now she has coached your dad to simply lie to you that there is no wedding so you don't/can't go. And they will come up with some BS story after they are married about how it was last minute or something so they couldn't invite you.

I'd call your brother. Ask him directly if there is a wedding on and then phone your dad back and say you are sorry he doesn't want you there, and you won't go if your attendance will upset him, but you'd prefer it if he didn't lie to you. If your dad has any spine at all he'll appologise.

:hugs: Sorry your step mum is such a cow.

BigRedV
11-08-2009, 18:13
OK, here's my take on it . .

Yes, they are getting married in November. They felt obligated to invite you but she phoned you hoping you'd say no to her. She may have thought if your dad invited you, it increased the chance you'd say yes.

But her plan backfired when you said yes. She doesn't want you to go so now she has coached your dad to simply lie to you that there is no wedding so you don't/can't go. And they will come up with some BS story after they are married about how it was last minute or something so they couldn't invite you.

I'd call your brother. Ask him directly if there is a wedding on and then phone your dad back and say you are sorry he doesn't want you there, and you won't go if your attendance will upset him, but you'd prefer it if he didn't lie to you. If your dad has any spine at all he'll appologise.

:hugs: Sorry your step mum is such a cow.

:iagree:
:hugs:

Boobycino
11-08-2009, 20:16
Sadly, my dad doesn't have a spine. And the best apologies I've ever gotten from him, despite everything thats happened, is the "I'm sorry you feel that way" :no:

As a mother, I would NEVER EVER EVER let someone I just met verbally abuse my children in front of me. I feel rage just typing that. So I know my dad is spineless... its sad... its really disapointing, considering I was a massive daddies little girl, to the point where when my parents seperated I chose to live with him. Until he met her he was an amazing father. Absolutely a tribute to single fathers. From living with him on my own I think dads should have just as much right and oportunity to be single parents as mums.

At first I read what shymmer said and thought, no way, he wouldn't do that. But the more I think about it... it does seen possible.

My brothers partner is pretty insightful, a couple of months ago (before SM called me) she said she thinks they'd already gotten married behind our backs. So it may be that they're going to get married without us.

I understand why my dad wouldn't want us there. I dont forgive it, but I understand it. My brother and I, simply our presence, sets my step mum off. She's going to be the absolute most horrible bridezilla imaginable anyway, I guess not having us there would mean he could get through the day with his manhood intact.

Its really sad though. Really sad.

I hope its not how it is, I really do. My brother and I when we talk about it do both just cross our fingers and hope my dad sees sense and breaks off this relationship.

The flip side of this is, you'd never think my dad was such a loser. I barely believe it. Because take him out of that relationship and he's an amazing person. Even just get him away from her he's an amazing person. With her he's a different person, he's not my dad.

I cant understand it. :no: