Breast/Bottle ???

[ForeverMine]

Not sure how to explain this to well... just want people opinion's though.

Im 4 months preggers and I have been thinking about stuff like bottle and breatfeeding.

I honestly think that breatfeeding isn't for me. I know that alot of mother say that (they do dont they), and I know the benefit etc of breatfeeding, but I really honestly don't think I will be able to do it. My body has quite a few underlying health issues that have just come to surface during my pregnancy and I don't think me body is going to be able to handle breatfeeding.

I think it will be eaiser for both me and bub's to start her on the bottle straight away.

Does that make me a bad mother for thinking like this? I plan on talking to my OB on Thursday at my app to get a professional sorta opinion, but I wanna know what you guys think...

Is it a bad idea to not even try breastfeeding?? Etc... argh im sending myself crazy...

[Mummy2my5]

Hi chrissy.....:wave: all woman are different,some can some can't and some don't want to. It doesn't make you a bad mother at all. I would not think badly of any woman that didn't want to breast feed. If it is just that you think you may not be able too i think thats a fear many women have i am sure. In the end it is entirely up to you and what you are comfortable with. Maybe talk to a lactation consultant or your ob and go from there. Good luck I hope it all works out for you.:yes: :hugs:

[reAllytee]

Hi !
I think your in for a storm with this topic as there are sooooo many different views on it & many strong opinions heheheh.
Really the only advice i can give you is trust in your body a little better than what your allowing yourself to. Its amazing how it will just know what to do in regards to the birth & then b/f.
I would at least give it a go as it doesnt hurt to try that being said if for whatever reason you choose not to go with it then dont beat yourself up over it because either way your doing whats right for you & that means having a happier baby knowing mum is happy.
I didnt know what i wanted to do either but i was determined to at least try b/f so i gave Boof a good start but it wasnt meant to be. Just as i will try again for the next bub even though i have issues with it because i know its the best thing i can do.
Dont stress you have a while to go yet & trust me in those last few months its amazing how many times you will change your mind about everything that has to do with bubs !
Go with what feels best for you :hugs:

[SassyMummy]

In my honest opinion, I think that every mother should ATTEMPT breastfeeding (providing they're not going to pass on disease or whatever). That way, you've given it a go...and if it doesn't work out, then at least you tried. That's what I did - I went for it...and it didn't work out for us...so I slowly weaned DD from the breast to the bottle from 3 weeks of age.

I sometimes miss breastfeeding...because it DID bring a lot of love and closeness...but for Chanel, it just wasn't working. I'm glad that I at least TRIED to do it (and I will try to do it again with the next).

I dunno, it's up to you...but I would try if I were you...even if you only do it a couple of times before switching to a bottle permanently.

[Ky]

It is completely up to you!

If you choose to exclusively bottle feed - don't feel guilty or let anyone's comments get to you ... what bub needs is a Mum that is relaxed about what she is doing and free of unnecessary stresses!

I personally couldn't breast feed, but expressed for 6 weeks before putting my babies on formula ... I felt like a failure beacuse of all of the comments and snide remarks people would make about being a bad mum, until I realised that I had happy and healthy babies that were growing as they should, had no tummy problems (neither got constipated) and that my kids are just as bright as any breastfed baby!

Make a decision - whether you try breastfeeding, bottle feed after a while or bottle feed from the beginning and stick to it with no guilt attached!

Count me as one who won't judge you for whatever decision you make!:wave:

[oleander]

I think that you should do what you feel is the best thing for you and your baby. Its your baby, your body, your choice. The formulas these days are really good and nutritious for baby. Everyone just assumes that Im going to breast feed and yeah, Im going to give it my best shot because I want to. Not cause of anyone else!

[JorBai]

Chrissy,

Its completely your choice, no one elses.

Of course its known that breastmilk provides the best source of nutrition for your bub but formula would not be on the shelfs if it wasnt any good.

I tried to breastfeed and it didnt work for me so i didnt have a choice.

But honestly, please make this choice for you and dont be swayed by into doing something your not 100% comfortable with.

Good Luck and PM me if you need to talk. :hugs:

Luv Leanne

[SamanthaJane]

I started a topic like this when i first joined... and it got a bit ugly, so all the best and i hope people DO respect your side of things ;) :hugs:

I am in the same boat as you. I am 5 months pregnant, and i have never felt comfortable with the idea of breastfeeding. The thought just doesnt come naturally to me like it does to other women.

I feel pressured at times to breast feed, because yes, breast is best. But its not always possible and people need to remember that. Whether it be for medical reasons or personal reasons, some women just can not breast feed.

You need to do what is right for you. A lot of people will disgaree with that statement though, they think that a baby comes first, so you should breast feed, even if you arent comfortable with it, just because its better for your baby. But, by no means is formula "wrong" or "bad" for your baby. If your baby is happy on the formula, and you are happy with the baby being on the formula then there is nothing to worry about

If you want to breast feed then by all means, try it. Read up on all the info you can and just be prepared for the difficulties that may arise with it. :yes:

Its all up to you missy, like anything to do with being a mother, people are going to criticise the choices you make regarding your child. The breast feeding/bottle feeding issue is just one of many to come.

All the best for the rest of your pregnancy and good luck with whatever method you decide to go with :hugs:

PM me if you need to talk!

[Sheer Bliss]

It is totally your choice, just make sure it is an informed one. Speak to your dr & a midwife & ask about your health conditions to be certain of their effects on your ability to b/feed. You will have people say all sorts of stuff to you about if you are doing the right thing or not, but if you know you have made an informed choice you will be doing best by your baby no matter what you decide. Happy mum = happy baby!!

The only thing I would consider (if you decide not to attempt to breastfeed at all) is to hand express for the first few days so that bub can be fed the colustrum (sp?) as it will give bub a big head start.

Good Luck & stand proud in whatever your decision is.

[2SPUNKRATZ]

hey hun. i understand where you are coming from and its all personal feelings. it doesnt make you a bad mum. i dont want to sound rude making this suggestion but the colostrum is extremely good for them. maybe you could try just giving the baby feeds so it gets your colostrum and then if you still dont like it go for the bottle then. its totally up to you and dont feel pressured to do anything you dont want to do.

good luck,

jess

[angcaltam]

All I can say is that it is your decision, nobody else's. You have to do what is right for you and your baby and only you will know if that is Breast Feeding or Bottle Feeding. I only BF DS1 for the first 2 weeks and then had to put him on the bottle and I look at him now and there is nothing wrong with him, he is just the same as all the other kids in his class so it must have been good enough. Then with DS2 I only BF for about 1 1/2 months and then put him on the bottle and he is doing good. Now with DD, she decided to start teething at 2 weeks old so I persisted because of what everyone else thought that is what I was meant to do, in the end I was taking painkillers before every feed, so finally when she was 5 weeks old DH told me that she was going on to the bottle. It made for a much more relaxed and happy Mum and Baby.:yes: :thumbsup:

You will make the right choice if you go with what you want, not what everyone else wants.:yes:

[chicken]

I know how you are feeling. I'm not even pregnant yet, and already I feel pressure to B/F!!!! I have the same uncertainties, but luckily my mum and MIL both bottle fed, so I won't get any pressure from them (and DH and I turned out OK). I can't believe how much peer pressure there is these days!!!! I might give B/F a go, but it depends on how I feel when the time comes.

[mz sv6]

chrissy i think the same way as u i honesty dont think that breastfeeding is for me n i will b bottlefeeding my baby when i have him from the start n i dont care wat other ppl think n yes i no ppl say its better to breastfeed but its jus not for me

[Natsmummy]

Obviously you need to do what you feel is right for you but I think you should definately give breastfeeding a go to start with.
A lot of the people who have responded to your post have obviously had bad experiences with breastfeeding, but it isn't always that way. While pregnant I was worried about breastfeeding as well but tried and am so glad I did as it all worked out for me - in fact I think its so much easier than bottle feeding. When you get up in the night and have to deal with a crying baby you can put them straight on the boob, and when you are out you don't have to worry about carrying bottles and so on. Its free too - formula can get to be quite an expense. And of course by breastfeeding you are providing your baby with the best food possible.
Since my DS was about 8 weeks old I've actually been comp feeding him with formula (usually two bottles a day) just to help increase his weight a little and for me this has worked really well. Its also good for if I leave him with someone as I tried expressing but on the whole found it time consuming and a bit stressful. Obviously not all babies will take both breast and bottle but this might be another option for you to consider.
Good luck whatever decision you make.

[Percy]

As the others have said, its completely up to you.

I had a benign lump removed from one of my breasts when i was 18 and they told me to forget about breastfeeding because too many ducts had been severed. Turns out i was able to breastfeed until DS was 8 months old.

You obviously need to do whats best for you, but if you think you wont be able to for medical reasons, it still might work out for you.

Good luck with your decision!

[Sara's Boys]

There is no doubt that breast is the best option, particularly in those first few weeks. But, that doesn't mean you should feel pressure. I know when I was pregnant the first time, I thought...hmmm...not sure if I will. But after going through labour, it seemed so natural. It is worth giving it a try, I know loads of women who tried, and loved it, going on to feed for 9+ months. But most importantly, you have got to feel happy and comfortable. I know that breast feeding can be hard in the first week or two, but not for every one, I found it extraodinarily easy and comfortable. Having said this my milk started to dry up at about 4 1/2 months, and didn't feel badly about it. One thing that was fantastic about BF, was there was no sterilising, no having to heat and pack bottles and formula, every time I went out. Now, I have to be super organised, right down to having the kettle boiled in time. It was nice to go visiting or shopping and not have to come home on cue. But ultimately the choice is what works for you, you will know whats right when the time comes. Don't stress about it.

[Poopa]

Hi Chrissy.

Well, we all know "Breast is best", and it's true, it's the perfect food for a baby.

While I was pregnant the thought of breastfeeding grossed me out a bit, I thought it would be wierd letting a baby suckle at my breast. But I knew it was best for the baby (and for me as while you breastfeed you uterus contracts, helps you get back in shape, but more importantly I knew it was best for the baby). So I gave it a go, and it was so hard. I wanted to give up, it hurt, it was hard and tiring, my boobs were like rocks. But, my Mama told me to stick it out (at the time I thought "leave me alone!!") but I'm glad I listened to her as now my DS is 5 months old and I still breastfeed and it is really good!

We have the hang of it (got the hang of it after about a week), and now I don't need to worry about sterilising, packing bottles and formula when we go out... And I feel good knowing I am giving my baby the perfect food.

I know there are mothers out there that cannot breastfeed, but if you can breastfeed I think you should give it a go. Even if it's for the first few days, the first few weeks, the first few months, anything is good.

[Crazy Monkey]

In my opinion, I think you should give it a go and see how you feel... But you should also do you research... I thought it would be easy, just stick baby to boob and away you go, but its not like that...

I have just stopped breastfeeding and my DS is 13 months old, I was hoping to get to 6 months... It took me a month to wean the last feed because I knew I was going to miss it...

Do what you feel comfortable with as the first few weeks are the hardest and you have to be willing to go through some pain and troubles... Once you get over the hurdles it is the most wonderful thing, and so easy, convenient and cheap...

[misskittyfantastico]

I just want to say that I had no desire to BF...found it too icky and primal but knew it was the best thing for bubs so I tried.

At first it was hard and painful but ultimately a gift.

Please try.

[Tam-I-Am]

I see where you're coming from Chrissy, I really do - BUT (and it's a big But) - you're anticipating a problem that isn't really real yet. You may feel like breastfeeding isn't for you - but until you try, how will you really know? And its not like an all-or-nothing situation - if you try it and find its not for you, its easy enough to switch. It would be dreadful, however, if you regretted not trying in years to come.

Just to let you know too, breastfeeding is hard - its one of the hardest relationship I've ever had. it took me about 8 weeks to feel no pain during a feed after DD was born BUT - Its also the best thing I've ever done. DD is now 12 months old, and I have no plans to stop - it is such a special thing, and one of the only things that ONLY I can do for DD.

Don't feel pressured - the decision is ultimately yours - but consider your options very carefully before making an irreversable decision.

[~Danni~]

I think it is totally your own choice, do what feels right for you, thats all thats important:D

[xkwzit]

I think that every mother should try to BF and when I say try - seriously try. By that I mean that you want to make sure you have access to a system to support you: lactation consultants, paediatricians, whatever you need - in case you need a bit of help (and many, many of us did). It took me 3 months to get feeding sorted out, but we persevered and I'm really glad that I did. It may not come naturally and it might be a lot of work, but it is worth it when you succeed in the end.

If you never try at all, you might regret not giving it a go.

Cheers

[cheezelkat]

I'm a massibe breastfeeding advocate, as in my DF, so I'm biased. You should try - at least for a first week because the colostrum (made at late pregnancy) is liquid gold. It helps protect your baby in his/her first few days of life and full of wonderful things that no formula could ever give.

I vowed to stick at it for 6 weeks, and have been doing it for 5 months.

[ForeverMine]

Thank you very much ladies... for all your advice and opinions and suggestions. Big shout out to SJ for the PM as well. :)

I've made up my mind only tonight, just before in fact, that I will try breast feeding. If it works and is what is best for both me and Jel, then thats great, but we always have the opition of the bottle. Whereas if I had just gone straight onto the bottle, my milk would dry up and I'd loose the opition.

Knowing me, I'm probably making a deal out of something that really isn't a problem, because life is going well at the moment and I'm not use to it, as weird as that may seem.

So, once again, thank you ladies.

Cheers, Christie

xxoo

[xkwzit]

Christie
No worries at all. You know we're always here when you want a bit of honest opinion - or even just to listen when you need to decompress.

Cheers

[Poopa]

Christie thats good to hear :). It's a scary thing, but I am glad I stuck it out!

Good luck!

[draught]

Chrissy - good luck with it all. Like others I wasn't sure how I would go - but ended up breastfeeding my first daughter for 13 months and my second for 15. My best friend did not like the idea of breastfeeding at all - only planned to do it for the first two weeks - and when her daughter weaned herself at 2 years she was sad! So - it is definitely worth going in with an open mind!

[Mischief]

Goodluck Christie!

I hated breastfeeding, but I did it for the first 4 weeks, and then started expressing most of Olivers feeds 5-6 weeks and went to only one BF a day and the rest expressed for the past 5 weeks.

I really want to give my baby the best start in life I can. Everyone encouraged me to keep going for the first 6 weeks at least, but after that I have set myself a goal of reaching 12 weeks, I'm only a week off.....and now I'm setting a goal of 4 months...

Baby steps, take it as you can. BF as much as you can, and in the end, if you cant do it, then you gave it your best shot and no one can critisise you for that (although they will....). Goodluck honey!

[*Chels*]

Im gonna just be honest here and hopefully not offend anyone.
My midwife told me that its a babys god given right to be breastfed.I totally agree.
I find people who CHOOSE not to breastfed quite selfish.Its part of the package of having a baby,along with sleeples nights and no social life:D
I think you should definatley try it.At first I found it a bit weird,but you get ussed to it and breastfeeding is a wonderful journey of motherhood!!

[evesmum]

I agree with the above; it is a babies right to breastfeed and it should be seen as just another sacrifice you make for the gift of a child. Also the chances that a woman is deemed unable to breastfeed for medical reasons is actually quite uncommon it is more a mind over matter thing. If you set out attempting to breastfeed with the idea that you will eventually bottlefeed or that you will only breastfeed if everything works out then it is likely that you will be 'unable' to breastfeed because you have gone in with the wrong attitutde. But I think above all the most important factor in breastfeeding is that it is a 100% completely NATURAL thing to do it is only through society marketing baby formula, and women trying to hurry back to work or 'get on with' their lives that we have been able to justify bottlefeeding; it should be a sad day when women feel grossed out by doing something that is so natural and beneficial.

Good luck with making your decision and please do your research because the more informed you are the better decision you will make for you and your baby. You baby will be happier and healthier and you will also be healthier and guilt free.:yes:

[cheezelkat]

I agree with the last 2 posts. If you go in with the right attitude, you will be set for success :thumbsup:

[Roopee]

I tried to Breast feed my first child and after a disastrous 3 weeks i gave up.
I absolutley HATED it, it made me sick and i just couldnt get it right. My baby lost a lot of weight and was EXTREMELY unsettled.
I Bottlefed from then on and have never looked back, i was happier, bubs was happier and so was my husband as he didnt have a sobbing mess of of a wife to contend with. That baby is now 5 and is in the top percentage of his class at school and an extremely bright little boy.
With my second and third babies i didnt even try it, i went straight to bottles which is what i intend to when i have my fourth in Feb next year.
I have had to contend with other mothers making me feel guilty for not Breastfeeding but i refuse to let their opinions get to me now.
For me Breast was not best and i made the right choice as far as my children and i were concerned.
We all need to remember that Breast is best IF it works and as long as you and your baby is happy and healthy then thats all that matters.

[xkwzit]

I agree with the last 2 posts. If you go in with the right attitude, you will be set for success :thumbsup:

I think that some ppl need much more than just the right attitude. I did. I know I would have never done it w/o the support of my paed, LC and DH who was at home for 5 weeks when DD1 was born. Make sure you know where to get support and knock on those doors until you find ppl you can work with.

Cheers

[Chickadee]

I think that some ppl need much more than just the right attitude. I did. I know I would have never done it w/o the support of my paed, LC and DH who was at home for 5 weeks when DD1 was born. Make sure you know where to get support and knock on those doors until you find ppl you can work with.

Cheers
I agree with X. Breastfeeding is a learned skill, by both mum and bub. There is an article in this months Bubhub newsletter on that topic actually (see links on the left hand menu). Sometimes the hospital midwives can give conflicting advice, and sometimes the stresses and pressures of trying to cope at home can be overwhelming if you don't have family support.

[porridge]

I agree with the above; it is a babies right to breastfeed and it should be seen as just another sacrifice you make for the gift of a child. Also the chances that a woman is deemed unable to breastfeed for medical reasons is actually quite uncommon it is more a mind over matter thing. If you set out attempting to breastfeed with the idea that you will eventually bottlefeed or that you will only breastfeed if everything works out then it is likely that you will be 'unable' to breastfeed because you have gone in with the wrong attitutde. But I think above all the most important factor in breastfeeding is that it is a 100% completely NATURAL thing to do it is only through society marketing baby formula, and women trying to hurry back to work or 'get on with' their lives that we have been able to justify bottlefeeding; it should be a sad day when women feel grossed out by doing something that is so natural and beneficial.

Good luck with making your decision and please do your research because the more informed you are the better decision you will make for you and your baby. You baby will be happier and healthier and you will also be healthier and guilt free.:yes:

That is such a harsh generalisation. I was determined to breastfeed my baby, but after 3 weeks of screaming, crying and massively cracked, weeping nipples I put him on formula. I was SO stressed and depressed I couldn't do anything else but sit on the couch all day and cry for most of it.

It would be great to breastfeed and have a happy experience with it, but don't just assume mums do it for selfish reasons if it doesn't work out.

[SassyMummy]

I also find it a bit offensive to assume that women who try (but are unsuccessful) at breastfeeding aren't trying hard enough, and are too selfish to give their babies breastmilk.

I planned to breastfeed, and did solely for 3 weeks. Between 3 and 9 weeks she was weaned onto the bottle. I never thought I'd use bottles (in fact, I didn't really have ANY bottles or bottle-related items at home), and I didn't begin to breastfeed with the "wrong" attitude.

My reason for switching the bottle was no so I could "get on with" my life, or because I was selfish. I simply switched because I was beginning to feel angry with DD whenever she wanted a feed...because it was a painful, long-winded and generally uncomfortable experience. I didn't like that I was feeling angry with her for wanting to feed, and so I began to switch. She was much happier as a result, and I was too.

Breastfeeding is a partnership IMO. It's not ALL ABOUT THE BABY or ALL ABOUT THE MOTHER. It's about both. When things aren't working out for one party (or both), you make changes. You do your best to make sure everyone is satisfied.

[shed]

Reading through these posts I didn't get the impression that people were saying it was selfish not to breastfeed, I think they were saying that about people who refuse to even give it a go.

I don't think there was anyone who point blank refused to give it a go anyway.

I fully plan to breastfeed and have been trying to prepare for it and educate myself on it as much as possible, for the best possible outcome. In the past couple of days it has occurred to me that someone who I have only just met will be sucking on my nipple, and it does sort of freak me out.

But that's where its not all about me you see. So I will do it anyway.

[the_queen]

I just thought I'd share my stories - sometimes breastfeeding IS challenging. But challenges are only as big as you perceive them to be :yes:

Breastfeeding DD was the biggest challenge I've ever faced. I was 22. She had a bilateril cleft lip. We had to work out not only attachment, but also had to get her in the right position so her mouth could seal around the nipple properly and so her fervent sucking actually did anything. A feed would take about an hour, after which time I would express as much as I could, just in case the next feed she couldn't get on properly. On average 2 feeds a day she couldn't get on properly, and we had to feed her EBM from a bottle. She was too exhausted to comfort suck and so she screamed constantly for the first 3 weeks until I caved and bought her a dummy. I could only feed her in the "twin" position, with multiple pillows piled up around me, a phone book under one foot, and when she would finally get the right seal and attachment I had to freeze so she wouldn't lose it - so I had cricks in the neck, sore feet and ankles, and spasming back muscles. I perservered, she breastfed for 14 weeks until her surgery, after which we experienced the heartache of breast refusal. Nipple shields, feeding in different positions, day stays with LC's, and finally a 4 day stay in Torrens House using squeeze bottles connected to SNS - none of this worked and finally I admitted defeat and decided to express exclusively. But the stress of everything, the post-op wound care, the stares and whispers when we were out in public, the total lack of support from anyone, meant that my supply dropped. I wish I knew then what I know now about building supply. But I switched to full-time formula at about 17 weeks old.

Breastfeeding DS was agony for me in the first 3 weeks. I had cracked bleeding nipples. I would cry more than him when it was time for a feed. I didn't want to feed him, I took him off the breast before he'd drained it and I almost got mastitis twice (thanks to some wonderful friends and their great advice, I managed to deal with it before it got to fully blown mastitis). I perservered, and it got better. Now he's nearly 9 weeks old, breastfeeding is going great guns, no pain and no problems. My supply has regulated a little, and everything is going brilliantly.


:)

[cheezelkat]

I thinkthat when a mother tries to breastfeed, she's doing thee best - but even so, its not the end of the world if it fails. Breastfeeding can be completely frustrating. I know I cried a lot of tears in the early days, and still do, but now realise I may be suffering from PND.