Suddenly Freaked Out about Age Gap!

[Silvaa]

My little girl will be 3 at the end of February and she will start school in 2012.

In a perfect world I would have had a two year gap between children - but my first one was not a very settled child and then we had some relationship difficulties and it is only now that I feel ready to have a second child. I was thinking that we would TTC at the end of the year and all going well I would have the bub before September next year.

However, I have just gotten freaked out that if I have the second one after July next year then there will be a four year gap between them at school and I am not sure how that will go! Rationally, I know that I am being silly and things will work out well - but I would love to hear some support from those who have age gaps like that!

For the record we are TTC'ing now and if we are lucky we will have another one before July next year!

[Me]

It may well be a blessing in disguise, it was for me. I wanted 2 years between them, ended up with 3 and 3 months. It's been great dd1 was toilet trained, sleeping through, independant all long before dd2 was born so it wasn't a huge adjustment for her(in the sense of loosing that dependantness on mum and dad). Good luck I hope you get your bfp soon!

[InSaneOne]

there is 2 years and 9 months between my 2 and everything was good. by that time my dd was toilet trained and sleeping well at night. she was also old enough to sit and watch a dvd while i was feeding bubs or trying to put him to sleep. she also prefered to walk mostly so i didn't need to go and get double everything.

a bigger age gap just makes it a little easier as they are a little bit more independant on you.

[Steph08]

I agree with Mucky's mum that bigger age gap will make it more easier for moms to handle kids. My daughter is 2 years and 7 months old and we're planning to have a 2nd child when she reach 4 years old. My husband and I both agree on the age gap because it would be easier for us to send them to school soon.

[Myztik]

I have an almost 4yr gap between my boys and will do again when number 3 comes along. I think it's a great gap :yes: They understand so much more about whats happening, mummies limitations during pregnancy and with the new baby etc. I found there wasn't much of a jealousy issue and that DS1 was a great helper.

[cassyn]

I think that 4 years was a great gap between my two. My son enjoyed it sooo much to be able to help Mum with the baby. And I didnt have to stress as much that I wasnt giving one more attention then the other because they required different attentions at different times. I am disappointed that I was too scared to ttc so as the same age gap happened, if it happens now it will be 5.5 years difference.

[bodalicious]

Hi everyone,

I will have a 9 year gap when mine is born. My daughter is over the moon! I did not plan to have anymore but hubby and I had a change of heart and our life is so much better now I know this will be amazing this time... not that it wasn't the first time!! I can' wait! :smiliedance:

Caz

[beckoning]

I can only tell you from my experience with 2 boys 17months apart that I would NEVER recommend a gap under 2 years...I'm completely exhausted from the 2 toddlers running around!

[buzzing bee]

We have a 3 year age gap and for me I wouldn't like anything less than 3 years really. I think 4 years is fine.

[SophOlivia]

I have almost a five year gap between my two DD's and there are as close as two gals could be. They adore each other and there has never been any jealousy from DD#1 given how much time she had us to herself. DD#1 is in prep now so DD#2 and I have plenty of time alone together while she's at school. To be honest, I knew in my heart I wouldn't be the type of mother I want to be with a gap smaller than what we have now and I'm so glad it's turned out the way it has.

Don't stress about it - I was a little worried too but from my perspective, it's brilliant.

[quirkymum]

Yep, I agree. :thumbsup: I wanted a 3 yr age gap, but due to 'relationship stuff' also, didn't start trying till my DD was 3. Then it took 7 and a half years to conceive!! When I finally did, I was utterly overcome by panic and guilt (for my daughter), which surprised me, because of how much effort we'd put into various treatments. After a couple of weeks, though, I began to get really excited.
Now DS is 2 and a half, I have realised that for me, this was the best way. In retrospect, two kids within 6 years of each other would have been hugely more stressful for me.
There are lots more threads under this topic with parents quoting huge age gaps, including more than 20 years.

[Blonde Assassin]

Hi there,

For what its worth we will definitely NOT be TTC again until DS is at least 4yrs old..

A) Because we are getting married & planning on buying a house.

B) I personally don't believe in age gaps of 2 years & under, & I think the kids will grow up together beautifully with a few years difference. The older child can be more involved in helping you with the new baby & appreciate him or her more as they have a better understanding, as opposed to just being jealous or starting to act like a baby again in attempts to get more attention.