a plea for help from stepmums

[lovingmumof 2now]

Hi everyone

will tell you a little of my history;

I used to be a step mum but am now no longer. BUT!! am still in love with the step sons dad. We had a baby, named Gabriella who is 6mnths. I want to be with her dad, but the step son who is 10 is uncontrollable, he won't do as he is told, he is sneaky, steels and is a bad influence on my 6 year old boy who loves him. I want to get back with my daughters father but he has not control over his son and won't admit he has problems.

Is there anyone out there like me? Or who has had this problem?


sincerely wanting answers!!!!

[Jo_Jo]

Hey, well i am not a step mum but my partner is a stepdad to my 2 oldest kids dd 15 and ds 11, we have a ds together 14 months now. We have been together 6 years and there have been many times in the first 3 years that we nearly parted:no: rod had an idea of how all kids should act no matter what age and well it just does not work like this, as much as you are frustrated and feeling low your stepson might be dealing with alot of issue,s too i know my son has been going through this really rebellous stage the last year alot is hormones going silly and dealing with a new baby brother also plays alot on there minds and affects them just as much as it the whole family, look all im saying is kids go through so many different stages some good and some bad, just like my teenage daughter at the moment it,s such a hard stage too i wish she was back in nappies...lol..boys seem to hold alot in too, i know my fella does and it,s hard to get him to open up when he is sad or something bothering him..look i hope you can work this out with your ex as he must be feeling split in 2 i know i have been in that position, maybe some family counselling would help or a parent group it,s all worth a try to keep your family together, all i know is there is always challenges getting thrown at ya more so as they get older, start going through puberty and all that fun stuff that comes with it...lol goodluck:thumbsup:

cheers....jo

[Blessed Mum]

Hi :wave:
I am a step mum. Have been for about 10 years & raised my ss for most of them. He went through a lot of things you are describing & I found it incredibly hard. I also for most of that time had my ds. I now have my dd as well & he is now back home with us after 6months living with his mum & he is about to turn 17 & I am so glad he's home. Throughout the years we took DSS to many counsellors as Jo Jo suggested & had family counselling. DSS was suffering emotionally due to lotsof things but mainly poor attachment through things he suffered with his mum. Not sure if this is the case for your d/p's son so I won't go into it too much but pm me if you would like to talk further about it. The one thing I do know is that if you want it to work your dd's father & his son is part of that deal then you will have to embrace the whole package so to speak IYKWIM. I hope things work out for you.

:)