How to get an earlier bedtime

[Lilahh]

DS is nearly 9 weeks. We have a very loose routine, DS directed. His last feed is usually 7/8pm. He doesn't feed again till around 12/1am. But, he wont go down to sleep until around 11pm. Im not sure why, Im assuming he isn't tired. When he is tired, day or night, it usually doesn't take too much to get him to sleep. Sometimes he self-settles, sometimes he needs a rock/cuddle and/or his dummy, but is out like a light within 5 minutes of using an aid or self-settling. If I try to put him to sleep after his last feed at around 8pm he just wont go to sleep. However, he wont stay awake happily.. he will grizzle until we finally get him to sleep at around 11pm.

I wake him up in the morning around 9am or he wakes himself between 8.30-9.30am at the latest. Should I be waking him earlier to get him to go down after his last feed? His day sleeps are a bit all over the place... some days he has 3 x 3 hour naps, sometimes he just catnaps all day. Should I keep him up in the early afternoon/evening?

Any tips would be great. Id love to have him sleep straight after his last dinner feed rather then keep me up till 11pm.

[LG]

My DS was a bit like that at the same age, and unfortunately we let it continue until just recently, so nearly two and a half years! :o

My advice would be to start waking him earlier to kind of 'reset' his internal clock.

We seem to have adjusted our 2 year old's bedtime, and it happened quite by accident one day when he didn't have a day nap (obviously it's totally different to a newborn, but I'm just saying what happened).

Looking back I wish we had done this sooner (like, since he was a few months old), because until recently he was never in bed before 10 or 11pm and I had no time to myself in the evenings, and no time with DH.

[LeeJ]

ds was the same.
i came to terns with the fact that that was his time frame for the time being.

he is now going to bed around 10-11, up at 8am.
still up a few times a night as well, but minor, just resettles/feeds.

i tried putting him to bed at 9 pm one night, around your ds's age, and he woke up at 3 am, to start the day:rolleyes:
tried it 2 more times before giving up!!:laughing:

then i tried the other way, let him go to sleep at the normal time, but wake him at 7 am, nope, still went to bed at the normal time, but was GRUMPY, lol. oh the joys...

go with it, gosh i know how hard it is when you get to midnight, i hope he gets into a rythm soon:fingerscrossed:

just realised, im no help what soever!

[Cheerio]

Hey Lilahh,

I had this with both mine, it drove me nuts. Both times what I did was for that last feed at 7/8 I would actually feed them in the room they sleep in like it was a nightfeed, so dark, quiet so that they eventually got that it was bedtime for the night. You may have already tried that but thats how I got it to work for both. Do you do a bedtime routine that includes a bath? I found that definately helps them settle for bed too.

HTH :)

[Tegan15]

dd also did this for a while but she'd want to cluster feed all evening.....she slowly out grew it - now she's asleep usually between 8-10 and so am I :laughing:

[lozie2]

ive been really lucky with cassie, for the 1st 6 weeks she would cluster feed until 10pm, when she turned 6 weeks i put her in her cot, and fed her at 6.30pm and she slept until i woke her at 7am... if he is in his cradle still maybe try in the cot! not sure if thats why cassie sleeps through but it works for us! also i set my alarm each morning for 6.30 i get up have breakfast then wake cassie by 7am just so she gets enough feeds!

GOOD LUCK!!

[muminshock]

The Sleep Angel we just used strongly recommended 7am is wake up time to avoid exactly what is happening to you. We are the same but about 9pm is bed time after a lot of fussing. It's getting better slowly but I can't bring myself to wake him at 7am!

You might find a book that was recommended to me helpful: Save our Sleep by Tizzie Hall. I loved the routines section... it has definitely helped with both my bad sleepers (the boys!)

[MegACT]

Hey Hun,

I let Kobe make his own routine until her was 12 weeks old. Kobe also use to be awake until 10.30pm-11pm. We slowly started to get him into bed earlier by half n hour increments so for the first couple of days we did 10.30pm then 10pm then 9.30pm etc now he goes to bed between 7.30pm and 9pm depending on when he has woken up from his last sleep. We also kept them same routine every night of feed, bath/shower, small play with mum and dad then he gets dressed, last feed for the night in a darkened room and then bed. We kept this exact same routine and slowly made it earlier in the night.
Hopefully you can find something that works for you :)

[Lilahh]

Thanks ladies. How long is it usually between your bubs last nap in the day and their bedtime? I try not to let Lincoln sleep any later than 4pm.

Last night we got him to sleep at 10.15pm :thumbsup: Hoping it slowly goes down to around 9pm at the latest.

MIS: I can't bring myself to wake up at 7 either! I've read SOS, Im going to start using it around 12 weeks if we can't get a routine ourselves. We are using 8am wakeup atm, I will slowly make it 7am IF his sleeping patterns are earlier in the night. :sleeping:

Thanks for the tips, especially about routine at bedtime, we have started doing an exact routine and hoping that helps reset his internal clock.
:wave:

[Ushas]

Kian very much dictates how much he sleeps through the day. He has a last day feed at about 6 and is allowed to stay up (if he isn't tired) till daddy is home and has a cuddle and play with daddy. Come 7.30/8ish it's bed time, so put him in his sleeping bag and have a cuddle with his dummy in sometimes. I have been trying the hot water bottle in bed and it works a treat. Creates a lovely warm nest where he can snuggle down and be all cosy in his cot.
He's a real chatterbox so often lies there talking to his mobile before drifting off. If he grizzles we leave him for a few minutes and if it continues we go in and pop his dummy in. That's usually it.
Hubby then wakes him for a feed at 11.30/12 and he sleeps till anywhere from 7 am to 8.30am.

[Cheerio]

Lilah thats great!

Ushas I am going to try the hot water bottle this arvo for Zs nap as since his immunisations he will not settle for day sleeps its driving me crazy! I hope it works for us too :fingerscrossed:

[SalTheGal]

Lilahh just wondered does he seem like he is hungry during the time he is unsettled? Perhaps he is wanting more feeds....are you familiar with cluster feeding? DS is unsettled during this exact same time (but he is only 3wks so a bit different) but he has reflux, but also likes to feed a lot during this time.

[Jaspat24]

lilahh i'm thinking what SaltheGal is thinking and also perhaps that your bub may be very overtired and then is too 'wired' to go to sleep. try Babybliss instead of SOS; its a lot gentler and the routines are essentially the same except babybliss allows a little more flexibility.
Our day starts at 630am and then we feed, play, feed, sleep. I like DS to sleep for 1 1/2 hrs minimum and have to resettle him half the time. His bedtime is 7pm. I don't let him sleep past 5pm (5.15-5.30pm if he's had bad sleeps during the day) then at 6.15 its bath, 6.40 breastfeed, then 7pm, bed. All the feeds before sleeps are done in his room with the curtains drawn, lamp on and music on. He wakes 2-3x overnight for feeds; its annoying but its easier to quickly feed him and then put him back to bed rather than trying to resettle. If he's overtired though he is really unsettled and requires calming down before bed and possibly even some shooshing and patting.
Checkout the baby bliss website, it has some great free routines.

[Mummy2R&K]

Have you tried to wrap bubs for the last feed at night?

This is what i do for DD now at 7.30pm and she'll pass out :D

[Lilahh]

Thanks gals for the suggestions. DS used to cluster feed earlier on but I thought bubs grow out of it? Sometimes he is unsettled and sometimes he is awake and happy. I do demand feed him in the night time in case he is is hungry... but most of the time I think he just isn't tired yet.

We have been persisting and I got him to sleep at 9.30pm the other night. :smiliedance: Thats the earliest so far. I might start waking him at 7am for a few days in a row and see if that has an affect.

Im loosely following a wake/feed/play/sleep routine, DS usually has three daytime naps of 1.5-2 hours each.

[CheekyChicken]

Hi Lilahh,

not sure if you've sorted this out yet but my DD was exactly the same- bedtime used to be midnight for a while there. Now it is about 10:30 which I am fine with as she sleeps through almost every night.

What worked for me- my DD is in our room right next to our bed- is that we all just go to bed. She gets the message it is sleepy time and although she kicks and tosses for a little while she doesn't cry and barely makes a sound- she can be wide awake and this still works. Today I really needed a day nap as DH was up all night working in the next room and I didn't sleep, so I tried the same method- DD doesn't always have proper day naps (she likes to catnap) and she grizzled a tiny bit but it also worked.

It might work for you too. Good luck. Oh and just to add, I have no routine with regards to naps, if she wants one she has one- she's alseep right now but I still believe she will sleep through from 10 or so until 7ish. Some days she has no naps and others she will have a couple of hours (she's 12 weeks old).

[kuddles]

I hope your little one has settled into a sleeping pattern that you are happy with. We used to struggle with getting DS into a good sleeping routine. He used to be very like your little one. Sometimes he decided to be awake for 4 hours from 12-4 am. This was torture. We started just feeding him and changing him in his room with a dimly lit light. I had to ignore his smiles and giggles and him trying to play with me. We started giving him baths around 8 pm. In the end he picked 9:30 as his bedtime and now sleeps through until 7:30 am.
If he doesn't have his J&J sleep time bath followed by J&J sleep time moisturiser he does not sleep as well.
How's your little one going now?

[Lilahh]

Hi ladies

The past few weeks of persisting has paid off. Lincoln is now in bed by 7.30pm at the latest and is asleep around 8pm. :yelclap: It was tough, getting him up every morning by 8.30am at the latest if we had had a tough night before hand but its paid off. I've also been making sure his last nap finishes at 5pm, I think he was staying up so late because he was overtired. We are also getting a good day routine for naps based off the Baby Bliss recommendations. SOS is too strict for us.

Thank you SO much for the suggestions!!! Now all I need is for him to stop feeding so often overnight! :sleeping: