I cant goddamn do it

[Booo]

Everyone tells me I cant do it, Everyone knows me better than I know myself. Having such a hard time and Noone wants to support my decision. I got time. I cant keep this child. :crying:

[rainbow road]

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[samken]

I'm pro-choice which means I'm pretty practical about these things. ie You sound very distressed by not being able to have the child so I'm pretty much against you making that decision as it is a decision you will need to live with for the rest of your life.

You may not be able to keep it but have you considered having it and adopting it? The stories I hear of woman who make this decision are usually positive because people are more into keeping contact between birth mother and child these days then the old archaic "rip the child away".

[Booo]

I dont want to but noone is helping me believe in myself, constant put downs, I just need to cry all the time

[readytogo]

Hun
if you feel you cant do it then its YOU that makes your decision no one else. As hard as it is to come to a decision with everyone having input try to focus on yourself, Its YOUR decison and only Your decision if they cant support you in that then its their loss, not yours.

I hope it all goes well for you

[bada]

Hun
if you feel you cant do it then its YOU that makes your decision no one else. As hard as it is to come to a decision with everyone having input try to focus on yourself, Its YOUR decison and only Your decision if they cant support you in that then its their loss, not yours.

I hope it all goes well for you :iagree: I'm not sure if you mean you can't raise the baby or you can't terminate but just thought I'd chuck in this, that I think most mothers doubted their ability to mother before being a mother kwim? It's on the job training in this role.

Don't let others influence your decision though, it's yours and only yours to make. Good luck whatever you decide. :hugs:

[samken]

I dont want to but noone is helping me believe in myself, constant put downs, I just need to cry all the time

Are there support groups you can contact in Southern Queensland who can help you? Actually I'm pretty sure there are.

http://www.createyourfuture.org.au/health/unwantedPregnancy.do

I just googled unplanned support groups and got the above link. Have a look and see if they can help.

[gizmoduckus]

Please do not listen to anyone else. This decision is yours and yours alone. No one else will have to live with what ever decision you make except you.

I know it is scary but I also know that deep down you know what you want to do. Listen to your gut feeling, it is usually the right path to take.

[Tam-I-Am]

Booo, if you're not getting support from family, friends, and your partner - you need SOMEBODY to be impartial and helpful and help you come to a decision that is right for YOU.

Have you thought about getting a referral to see a psychologist from your GP? This is definitely something that they could help with :hugs:

[boysrgr8]

Supportive :hugs:

[Looshkin]

Oh boo, I am sorry you are not getting any support.

:hugs:

I agree with Tam here, it's a really good idea to contact someone either through a GP or the link a PP provided I think has a link to childrenbychoice who could also refer you to a counselor/ psychologist that can listen to your feelings and concerns with no judgment as to what you feel or need or want.

It sounds like you need to have someone listen to how you feel without putting their judgments or what they think should happen. How you feel is the important factor here.

[Pregnor]

I have read your other thread, and my heart really goes out to you.

Its just a thought... Do you have some people who may support you somewhere else? Perhaps if you really want the baby you could make a fresh start somewhere else where you do have SOME support?

I definately think you need to talk to your GP about a referal for psychologist or counselling.

[mamajess]

I really feel for you, I've been reading your posts.

I just want to say, this is YOUR life, YOUR decision.

Listen to your gut instinct.....I know it's hard to see clearly when you're hormones are probably all over the place!

You need to speak to someone IRL, get some counselling from someone un-biased that can help you to decide whether or not to continue with the pregnancy.

Good luck to you x

[julietv8]

If you see your GP you can get 5 free psychologist sessions to help you work through this issue. From what I hear, the "couselling" provided by the clinics is minimal. I feel for you darling, please make the choice that is right for you, not anyone else. Its you that has to live with the choice that you make.

Love to you.

[sandy cheeks]

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
Go and see ur gp they can send u to talk to someone.
I have felt this way and its awful no one to talk to and help u see things through but I spoke up at my gp who sent me to a psychologist who worked with women who were undecided about their pregnancy this helped so much I had a reliable sorce to go and share my feelings with who wouldn't judge me or tell me what to do just listen and guide whatever choice u make they will support u 110%
:hugs:

[sunnyflower]

:hugs:


I think deep down you want this baby.

If your partner isn't being supportive kick him to the curb.

He slept with you full well knowing that one of the possible consequences of having sex was a pregnancy.So if he doesn't want to deal with it you need to be around people who do.

I am sorry your family are not supportive.It isn;t any of their buisness really.


Look i have been a single mum from day one and it has been so worth it.I can't imagine life without him.

[SPC]

People don't always have your best interests at heart, sometimes they just want you to make the same decision they would if they were in your situation. They just want you to agree with them and validate the choices they made. I'm so sorry you aren't in ideal circumstances and I hope you find the support you need. :hugs:

[blessedmummy]

dont know wot to say really, its your decision and your the one who has to live with it. hope that u make the right one.:hugs:

[MsMummy]

I've not been in your position, but I agree with the other posters who suggested a psychologist.

It must be so hard because there's no right or wrong answer. :hugs:

[Monster & Boof]

Booo - Noone and i mean NOONE can make you do something you dont want to do... its a hard choice but also a very simple one do YOU want the baby??? If you want the baby you will find a way to live with the baby, if you want the baby and terminate you may find that you do regret it a lot and it might take you a long long time to get over. If you do not want the baby there is nothing standing in your way from getting a termination... i have been there and i have done it i didnt make the right choice for me at the time but now i wouldnt have it any other way if i didnt terminate then i wouldnt have my DS now so it has all outweighed itself - do you need someone to talk to??? add me to msn megan777726@hotmail.com xx

[Booo]

I think i want this baby, but noone believes I can do this. Everyone thinks i'm emotinally not ready to... :(

[Mummy2R&K]

I think i want this baby, but noone believes I can do this. Everyone thinks i'm emotinally not ready to... :(

I think that when you see your baby in your arms, all your doubt will just float away!

I just wish I lived closer to you then you'ld have my support.

When I had DS I was 23 and hadn't dealt with a baby since my teens when I babysat. I had absolutely no idea how to wrap, change nappies, make formula etc.

It's a learning curve, but you'll be fine :thumbsup: :hugs:have some more confidence in yourself.

[gizmoduckus]

No one can ever be emotionally ready to have a child until they have one.

Please don't let anyone pressure you into doing something that you don't want to do.

:hugs:

[Booo]

Just VERY VERY scared about the whole this :( :(

[MothersMilk]

Booo it is scary - people who have a planned pregnancy still get that feeling. It is an unknown.
I don't think anyone is ever really ready to have a baby. That doesn't mean you can't do it - you will find strength you never knew you had. You learn on the job - you will be fine.
You can do it - I believe in you.
I really think you need to seek out some support - maybe join a group for young pregnant women. If you ask at your next antenatal appointment they should point you in the right direction. There is help out there.
Don't make a decision for other people - do what is right for you.

[Tam-I-Am]

You know, Booo, I'd be worried if you weren't scared about it - that would mean that you didn't understand the full importance and impact that your decisions may have on your life! The fact that you're terrified means that you're well aware of what your circumstances mean, and how big your decisions are.

Fear isn't a bad thing. Fear can motivate us, help us find the things that we need to learn - and help us to learn them well.

Nobody can make this decision for you - and there are no 'wrong' decisions here....only wrong FOR YOU decisions. So, you have to do what's RIGHT for you....and to do that you need some space and support in order to find out exactly what that is. When you're receiving pressure from all parties, it's really important to get some external, impartial advice from somebody who doesn't have an invested interest in convining you to take any particular one course of action - which is why I suggested talking to a psychologist. All they will care about is assisting you in finding the right decision for YOU.

Take care of yourself, Booo :hugs:

[~Temet Nosce~]

This baby was planned and I still had many "oh sh!t" moments (still do!)
it's such a huge life change, but life is always changing and we are always adjusting and we get there in the end. :hugs:

[Booo]

I dont think I can afford it :(

[Tam-I-Am]

I dont think I can afford it :(

A psychologist? If you see you doctor for a referral and a mental health plan, you will get at least 12 and perhaps up to 18 session subsidised by medicare. Some psychologists will bulk bill, but the ones who don't usually have very reasonable gap fees - ie around what you'd pay to see a GP (ie $20 or so).

Have a look in your yellowpages at the psychologists' pages and have a bit of a ring around - you might be surprised at just how affordable it is.

[Booo]

No a baby sorry

[Mummy2R&K]

No a baby sorry

Laybys are our friend...start now :D and alot of places let u extend laybys, alot of baby places do 3 month laybys etc.

Me and my DP split when i was pregnant with DD, our second baby and she was planned. DS also wasn't planned, we weren't even living together at that stage.

I didn't think I would survive being on my own, but lucky I already had a cot etc, but had to buy all new clothes as I was having a girl and already had a boy. Keep an eye out in the Trading Post too for cots etc.

If anything, I am better off without him, financially, I guess because I don't have anyone else telling me how to spend my money and i've managed to put a decent amount away in savings. You will get a decent amount from centrelink too.

But it seems you are trying to get people to talk you out of having the baby.......you are doing it too. Stop second guessing yourself.

In the end it is your decision and only you know what you can do. You can be strong, stop letting people put you down and YOU SHOW THEM!!!



If you knew what you were having, I would send you DD's outgrown clothes as I'm not having much luck on ebay lol.

[Pinkzy]

Booo - first of all, just want to send you some big hugs :hugs:, I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now and I just want you to know that no matter what the people around you are saying, you are NOT alone and you have and will continue to have support right here on bubhub.

I had just turned 18 when I found out I was pregnant. At the time, I was in a psychiatric hospital being treated for depression and PTSD. I also survived a very dangerous and serious suicide attempt about 5 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. The father of my daughter and I had been dating for about a month when we found out.

We had absolutely no money to our names and NO (zero, zilch, nada) support from anyone. My parents were devastated and angry about us choosing to continue the pregnancy, his family were even more unsupportive. My doctor at the time told me I wouldn't be able to "handle having a baby"....his friends kept telling my partner at the time to "make her get rid of it"....my friends were equally as unsupportive as our families...and to be honest, for the first 6 months of the pregnancy, my then partner wasn't happy or excited about the baby.

8 years later - we have a beautiful, intilligent, amazingly bright and wonderful little girl :) It was hard, yes. Our relationship ended when she was only 5 months old but we still get along and respect each other for our daughters sake.

It is hard, darling, there is no denying that. But only you can determine whether you're able to raise this child and whether or not you're ready to do so. If YOU want to keep this child and be a mummy, then that's what you need to do. Whatever decision you make based on YOUR feelings will be the right one :) and no matter what that decision is, we're all here for you.

:hugs: PM me if you ever want to chat. Wishing you lots of luck and hugs xoxoxo

[SassyMummy]

Look, I'm pro-choice, and will very happily support a womans choice to terminate... but it doesn't sound like that's what YOU want.

Stuff everyone else - they're not the ones whose life this is going to change. Whatever decision you make needs to be your own - you need to choose the path that is best FOR YOU.

If you want to terminate this pregnancy, then that is your choice. I have nothing but support for you if that is what you want.

If you want this baby, however, then you can do it. I was 19 when I had my daughter. No experience with children whatsoever.

Financially, you manage. A baby is only really as expensive as you make it. You don't NEED half the stuff they try to convince you that you need... a little baby only really needs a place to sleep, food, and love. Not much else really.

Save money by breastfeeding and using cloth nappies. Don't go OTT with clothing. Your baby won't cost you HEAPS unless you make it cost you heaps.

The main thing, IMO, is the life change. The money side works itself out. The change to your lifestyle is a massive thing though, and you'll be scared. I think everyone is scared of that change, because it's something you simply cannot prepare for. It's not something you can understand properly until you're there.

If you want the baby, then keep it. If you don't, then don't. Don't let others attitudes sway you. It is your life and your choice. Do what is best for you and what decision you are happiest to live with forever.

[Mummy2R&K]

When will you be due??

Because if you decide to continue on with the pregnancy, and you find out the sex and it's a girl, I will send you all DD's 000 jumpuits and clothes to get you started (there is oodles!). She was born late April, so it should be around the same time yes?? Ie, warmer clothes needed. If the few 0000 outfits I have up on ebay don't sell, I will also send those.

I am definately pro-choice as well, but I would love to be able to help you as everyone seems to be having boys, and I will be glad to get rid of some of the clothes, rather than them sit in the closet for years.

[Penthesilea]

Even women in their thirties are scared about having a baby. It is normal, and yes, it is scary, and for good reason. It is serious. Your life will change..

You can't say now that no-one would support you, because you've got lots of support right here. It is true that a baby doesn't need much stuff and shouldn't cost a lot money - when my partner was a baby he slept in a drawer on the ground. You could use a wicker washbasket as a crib. It doesn't mater to the baby, so long as you love and care for him or her. When I was pregnant with my first I was worried about not having the baby stuff, but as soon as I had the baby everyone appeared with all the baby stuff I could ever want. People are very generous when you have a baby. Have a little faith. And trust. And hope. You'll be ok.

[Amara]

They say if you wait til you can afford a baby you will never have one.

Just remember that with a baby you will get family assistance & parenting payment if you don't work & some form of this if you work part time or just family assistance if you work full time. You will get subsidised child care fees as well if you do go back to work. I'm presuming you are single.

Setting up doesn't have to cost a lot if you get things second hand or buy everything when it's on sale. You would also find that you would be offered lots of second hand things from friends and family if you do go ahead with the pregnancy.

[julez19]

By the sounds of it you do want to keep your baby, I'm not sure where you live but I have a car seat,pram,clothes and toys that I would gladly send to you once you make your decision,which is only tours to make, I was not yet 15 when I had my eldest son, knew nothing about kids at all. I decided when I told my parents that I would give him up for adoption, I left the hospital devastated,I thought I was doing the right thing,the thing that everyone told me to do but within a week I had gone back to the foster carer and bought him home.that was single handly the smartest thing I have evr done. I stood up for my son and I and eight years later have and are still proving everyone wrong. I think you should take up some offers of support from the lovely ladies on bubhub and contact help, if not a go or counseller,I can't speak for everyone but I'm pretty sure the ladies here would chat with you and let you vent and give you some comfort and postive assistance but at the end of the day you have to make tour decision, you never know how strong you are until you have to deal with this sort of thing,personally i think if you are mature enough to ask for help like you have you are more then ready to do the right thing for yourself :)

[Mummy2R&K]

Looks like you have some great offers of help here.

Please don't be too embarrassed to accept it :hugs:

But I also agree about seeing a counsellor.When DP and I split, I was 20 weeks pregnant with DD and talking to someone really helped me through alot of emotions.

[Booo]

Just so stressed. Will look into talking to someone neutral. Just usually hate Counsellers/Physcologists/social workers

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Boo. Your post saddens me absolutely to the core.

I got pregnant with my first child at 16. I thought I was okay, I thought I had someone great, I didn't.

I'm now 20 with three kids on my own.

I was offered an abortion, encouraged even.

I chose to refuse. I probably wasn't emotionally ready, maybe I wasn't mature enough. But you know what? Nobody can be really prepared to be a parent.
It is the hardest, most tiring, emotionally exhausting, stressful, amazing, heart-warming, miraculous thing you will ever do.
You mature and become responsible and you rise to the role. Another life is a big responsibility, it deserves everything you have got.

But my goodness is it worth it.

Cease contact with everybody if you need to and hermit yourself away to look within yourself to decide.

This is YOUR life, this is YOUR baby, this is YOUR choice. F*** everybody else, F*** ANYBODY else. You are the only one who will have to live with the outcomes of your choices. You are the only one entitled to an opinion.

Surround yourself with people who care, people who won't tell you what you SHOULD do, but instead tell you to just be you. Get rid of toxic people right now, no matter who they are.

If you want this baby, know that you goddamn well CAN do it. You always can, if you try hard enough.

[Mummy2R&K]

Boo. Your post saddens me absolutely to the core.

I got pregnant with my first child at 16. I thought I was okay, I thought I had someone great, I didn't.

I'm now 20 with three kids on my own.

I was offered an abortion, encouraged even.

I chose to refuse. I probably wasn't emotionally ready, maybe I wasn't mature enough. But you know what? Nobody can be really prepared to be a parent.
It is the hardest, most tiring, emotionally exhausting, stressful, amazing, heart-warming, miraculous thing you will ever do.
You mature and become responsible and you rise to the role. Another life is a big responsibility, it deserves everything you have got.

But my goodness is it worth it.

Cease contact with everybody if you need to and hermit yourself away to look within yourself to decide.

This is YOUR life, this is YOUR baby, this is YOUR choice. F*** everybody else, F*** ANYBODY else. You are the only one who will have to live with the outcomes of your choices. You are the only one entitled to an opinion.

Surround yourself with people who care, people who won't tell you what you SHOULD do, but instead tell you to just be you. Get rid of toxic people right now, no matter who they are.

If you want this baby, know that you goddamn well CAN do it. You always can, if you try hard enough.
:iagree:

Great post NCB

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

:iagree:with NCB. :yes: Great post.

[Chunkydunks]

Boo. Your post saddens me absolutely to the core.

I got pregnant with my first child at 16. I thought I was okay, I thought I had someone great, I didn't.

I'm now 20 with three kids on my own.

I was offered an abortion, encouraged even.

I chose to refuse. I probably wasn't emotionally ready, maybe I wasn't mature enough. But you know what? Nobody can be really prepared to be a parent.
It is the hardest, most tiring, emotionally exhausting, stressful, amazing, heart-warming, miraculous thing you will ever do.
You mature and become responsible and you rise to the role. Another life is a big responsibility, it deserves everything you have got.

But my goodness is it worth it.

Cease contact with everybody if you need to and hermit yourself away to look within yourself to decide.

This is YOUR life, this is YOUR baby, this is YOUR choice. F*** everybody else, F*** ANYBODY else. You are the only one who will have to live with the outcomes of your choices. You are the only one entitled to an opinion.

Surround yourself with people who care, people who won't tell you what you SHOULD do, but instead tell you to just be you. Get rid of toxic people right now, no matter who they are.

If you want this baby, know that you goddamn well CAN do it. You always can, if you try hard enough.

:iagree: Your choice and our choice only.....stuff what people are saying.....you can do this if you really want to.

[Booo]

Im not sure I want to. I dont want to kill it but its LIFE CHANGING.... I'm still really young I'm scared Ill have no friends no love no life ever again

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Im not sure I want to. I dont want to kill it but its LIFE CHANGING.... I'm still really young I'm scared Ill have no friends no love no life ever again
Maybe you won't, for a time.

Most single Mums however go on to find some fantastic partners. I was friend-less for a good long time, I just was friends with some people that were toxic to me, made me feel awful about myself. So I went friend-less.

Life doesn't end after a baby.


As I said, the best thing you can do for yourself is to take some time out, on your own and away from other influences and look within yourself for an answer.
Whatever that answer is, there is always a way to make it work.

[Booo]

I want to stay with DP, no matter how sad he makes me. I dont think anyone will want me after I have his child. I dont want to have children with different fathers (No offence intended for those who have children with different fathers, just a fear for me to do) I dont want to have no time for friends, internet, life in general. I never thought I would get pregnant anytime soon but the doc tells me its 100%. I just want everything to be like normal again. I'm terrified to see this childs heartbeat and I'm scared Ill fall in love and loose it all

[dreamtobeamummy]

Ive been following this thread a bit Booo.

Your last post, i just wanted to let you know DF was 15 when he was becoming a father.. they kept the baby... he does comment on how its so life changing etc .. but every day he says he would never change it for the world.. he loves his boy to bits, they managed to get through it.. he has a life, he is loved by me (of nearly 6 years!!) I took him and his son on when I was only 17.. it will happen (love that is!)

Good luck in the choice you make and lots of:hugs: :hugs: for you!

[Mummy2R&K]

Im not sure I want to. I dont want to kill it but its LIFE CHANGING.... I'm still really young I'm scared Ill have no friends no love no life ever again

When I fell pregnant with DS me and the ex weren't even living together.......we'd only been together 8 months! I felt exactly like this. I was scared as heck!!

But now my kids are my life and my friends have learnt to adapt....some are now starting to have kids of their own. I couldn't imagine my life any other way now, and occasionally I will think about what my life would of been like if I chose to terminate, and I did seriously consider it, but then I look at my little boy and I see what I would of lost and missed out on.

If your friends desert you they weren't your friends to begin with.

Through out the past few years, I have found out who my REAL friends are.

:hugs: to you.

[Whispers]

Im not sure I want to. I dont want to kill it but its LIFE CHANGING.... I'm still really young I'm scared Ill have no friends no love no life ever again

You will make plenty of friend's this forum is filled with mothers who would love to be your friend, you will have the love of your life right there with you your beautiful little baby, and as for a life, I have three childen Im 22,I have a life, it's a life filled with love and admiration for my little ones, and when I look at them I know there is no other life I would want.

[Mummy2R&K]

I want to stay with DP, no matter how sad he makes me. I dont think anyone will want me after I have his child.

I used to think the same thing. But whilst I was still pregnant, two men wanted to be with me! I was so flattered, but not ready.

You will just be miserable. I wish I had of left exDP years ago, but then I would'n't have DD as well.

It is so so hard taking that step, trust me. I couldn't imagine exDP not being in my life, not hugging him or kissing him again. Now when I look at him I just see a total waste of space, a little boy who really needs to grow up.

I am now soooooooo looking forward to what the future holds.

Your DP should not make you feel sad. You are WORTHY OF MUCH MUCH BETTER and any man will be lucky to have you, even with a child in tow. No man should make you feel the way you do. He is basically using your emotions of your love for him as blackmail.

Read the saying in my sig.....this is what has got me through the past six months.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

You are WORTHY OF MUCH MUCH BETTER and any man will be lucky to have you, even with a child in tow.
ESPECIALLY with a child in tow.

Having kids just weeds out most of the waste-of-time men anyway. Might be less, but I'd ALWAYS go for quality over quantity. ;)

Boo, sign off, have a long bath, be alone. Be alone and decide for yourself.
None of this will help you make your choice.
Be your own best friend right now and do what you NEED instead of what you want in this moment.

[Mummy2R&K]

Oh yes NCB, someone on here actually has a signature to that affect :detective::detective:

[Veritas]

Im not sure I want to. I dont want to kill it but its LIFE CHANGING.... I'm still really young I'm scared Ill have no friends no love no life ever again

Just a quick story for you about a lady I know.... if these are you main worries......

This lady had a baby at 17..... the father left never to be seen again....

By the time this baby was 4 she was pregnant with her second child..... this guy turned out to be a dud and she was a single parent again.....

She decided to study and did an arts degree (mind you she had barely completed year 10 prior to this)..... she graduated and became a photographer..... her two girls only had her, and they certainly weren't well off, but they were happy and healthy...... did well at school, and had their outside interests that they loved.....

By this stage the mother decided she might like to study teaching and be an arts teacher.... partway through the degree she decided it wasn't for her....but fell into a youthworkers role.... which she loved, and it sparked a passion.....

She decided to start studying social work, and around this time met another man..... she went on to have two more children with this man.... but sadly he was not all he was cracked up to be either......

With the help of her eldest child she left the relationship.... made a clean break and another fresh start..... but this one was to be different.....

A fantastic opportunity came up..... her career began to blossom.... she completed her degree and started to realise she was really good at what she did.... she moved up the ranks very quickly.... and found a career that she loved.....

She never imagined from her beginnings as a single mother at 17 that she would ever make something of herself, that she would ever be loved again.....

Today she is married to a lovely man..... owns her own home.... has a 6 figure salary.... a successful career.....looking at moving into investments..... has a fulfilling life.... and 4 wonderful daughters who have all found success at their differing points in their lives.....

She has found all those things you are worried you won't have..... She is my mum.... and I am that baby that was born while she was oh so young and saw no future.....

The decision is yours to make and only yours my dear.... but do what your gut tells you.... forget about some stupid boy.... forget about everyone else telling you what they want.... do what you feel is right.... :hugs:

[Hooves]

Oh, hun, I wish I could give you a hug.:hugs::hugs: Cyber hugs is all I can give.

you sound so scared and confused.

All I can say, is you are stronger then you know right now. And whatever way you decide to go, this will be a decision that stays with you for life.

I always believe in living life to the full, and trying to do it with no regrets. The truth is, sometimes we do have regrets. Sometimes those regrets are too hard to live with.

Something this big, can be soul destroying. You really need to do what you know your conscience will live with.


As to keeping the baby, and being able to raise, afford, it, etc.

I am 33, have my 4th Child, and a husband, and we can not afford it!

But it is amazing how much I can afford, and how little one needs in life to be happy. A roof over your head, and food in your belly, and tidy clothes, on your back. Is all you need. Seriously.

All the other things are cream on the top.

As to setting up for a baby, all they need, is a basic, clothing,set up, a roof over their head, and somewhere to sleep. Even if they sleep with you for a while, no biggie.

Basics, for setup, one porta cot, one stroller, a few singlets, and jumpsuits and a few blankets, wraps. Seriously that is all you need.

AND do not forget there is help out there, for you. Salvos' Centrelink, etc, can help you in the right direction, to find a home, and get set up.

As to the boy in your life, take a long look at him. And ask yourself, is this what you want for the rest of your life??? Can you imagine being with this person, until the end, do you think this person, is in it for the long haul??


Regardless of if you keep the baby or not, is this person going to really hang around??


The hardest thing you will ever have to do, is face these hard truths, and cross these bridges as you come to them.


Go and see someone who can help you do what you need to. BUT most of all, do what will ultimately make you happy. YOU COME FIRST.

Everyone else is not your concern. Their happiness is theirs to find.

[jag5000]

:hugs:

the decision it up to you.. there are a million stories, many right here on the hub, of women who have been young single mums and everything has worked out wonderfully!

I know this sounds like it's over simplifying but I don't think it is.. the question is.. do you want to have a baby right now, or not? Everything else, money, support, obtaining everything you need for a baby etc will come.. don't let that factor into your decision.

btw, I'll too put my hand up to give you supplies if you need them.

:hugs:

[delirium]

I have some baby stuff if you need it. I know it doesn't solve everything with a bag of clothes or bunny rugs but I'd be more than willing to send you stuff if you wished :D

[bgbgbb]

Having kids just weeds out most of the waste-of-time men anyway. That is so true, take it from someone who has seen a lot of this happen to people!

Boo, I was 32 when I found myself 'accidentally' pregnant to a boyfriend of only 6 weeks, and I was living temporarily overseas. Although I was older, I was terrified of having a baby. I had no savings, I didn't know whether I wanted to stay with my boyfriend (his mother hated me and he was still living very much under her roof) and I didn't even know what country I wanted to live in! The only thing I knew was I wanted the baby.

I was lucky that my boyfriend stayed with me and we later married and had 3 more lovely children.

But that aside, it's funny how everything will fall into place if you really want something enough. There are heaps of people out there wanting to offload baby stuff, there's ebay and baby markets. Centrelink is quite supportive to young single mothers and having a baby through the public system is free and can be quite a nice experience.

The only thing you have to learn is that if you are going to become a mother is to stand up what is best for the both of you. If you dont feel comfortable staying with your boyfriend, then dont stay with him. If a dr is not supportive, find another dr. I never stood up for myself before having my kids, but since I have I've developed a strength I never knew I had, and you will too (God, I even eventually stood up to my MIL and she now likes me because she respects my 'spirit'!). If you dont, then no-one else will.

You'll be okay Sweetie.:hugs:

[aussiegal01]

I want to stay with DP, no matter how sad he makes me. I dont think anyone will want me after I have his child. I dont want to have children with different fathers (No offence intended for those who have children with different fathers, just a fear for me to do) I dont want to have no time for friends, internet, life in general. I never thought I would get pregnant anytime soon but the doc tells me its 100%. I just want everything to be like normal again. I'm terrified to see this childs heartbeat and I'm scared Ill fall in love and loose it all
hi i just joined this site. Im 18 yrs old my boyfriend and i broke up a month ago. my baby girl is 5 months old.
Im a school drop out.
I basically cry in the shower where no one can see me. I love my baby to bits, but besides her im a wreck. im so lonely :(

[MommaBear]

hi i just joined this site. Im 18 yrs old my boyfriend and i broke up a month ago. my baby girl is 5 months old.
Im a school drop out.
I basically cry in the shower where no one can see me. I love my baby to bits, but besides her im a wreck. im so lonely :(
Hey:wave: and WELCOME wander over to the single parents section and have a chat with others if you want!

[jimmysmummy]

hi i just joined this site. Im 18 yrs old my boyfriend and i broke up a month ago. my baby girl is 5 months old.
Im a school drop out.
I basically cry in the shower where no one can see me. I love my baby to bits, but besides her im a wreck. im so lonely :(

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

I'm sorry you're so lonely. :( But there is no greater love than the love of a mother for her child. :bee:

Maybe you should start your own thread in the 'feeling lonely' section (I think it's in the Single Parents section) and you'll get lots of support.