View Full Version : Too young for the snip!
My DH and I have two children and we had them very young (we planned it that way) we went to my gp cause two's enough and asked about the snip
long story short apparently we are too young to choose what can be done, (apparently we can't possibly know) we have to wait till we are in our 30s!
thats another ten years b4 the snip....
so my question is what is the age and if your DH got it done did you regret it?
We havent' gone that route yet, thinking about it. But a friend of mine had her tubes tied when she was 27 or 28, insisting she and her hub didn't want another baby. I think it was more that she didn't want to (or couldn't) take the pill anymore and he wouldn't wear condoms. Anyways, 2 years later, 1 divorce and a remarriage and she was regretting her decision.
My sister has this problem. After two terrible pregnancies - one very sick child she asked to have her tubes tied. She has been to numerous doctors and all have told her that they won't consider it until she is 27 with 3 children. She is unable to use any contraception but condoms and now is 28 carrying her 3rd child and again very sick. She has asked her doctors if they will do it after this baby is born and has been told that they will consider putting her on the waiting list - which she was told could take up to 4 years. I want to know what happened to a women being able to choose what she want when it concerns her own body. Her partner won't get fixed just in case something happens in there relationship and her remarrys and wants more children. - which she thinks is fair enough. All thats happening is that there will be alot of babies born who were never wanted - hardly and ideal situation.
Its a hard one i guess... we are not at this stage yet .....
I know of a guy who had his tubes tied and then reversed to have another baby, then tied and then reversed again !! (which turned out to be a big disaster!!) anyway i guess doctors want to know that people are really sure before they get it done BUT at the same time people have the right to do what they want with their bodies.....
I think perhaps see some more docs and see what they say but make sure this is really want you want to do before going ahead with anything.....
Otherwise look into the many contraceptive options available these days..
We are not at that stage yet. Part of me thinks that it is basically a permanent thing and I don't want us to make that sort of decision just yet, so for us, we will cross that bridge when we come to it. My DH has said a few workmates have had it done (they proudly show off that they have had to get vasectomy), and he wonders if we will do that sort of thing, but at the moment I told him not to get too concerned just yet.
My MIL had her tubes tied at what would have been late 20s back in the 1970s. My DH was in primary school, so my guess is that she would have been no older than 28. Apparently getting one's tubes tied was all the rarge back then, but now we have many other options like the contraceptive implant etc. Women of course still get it done, but not to the level they did when my MIL had it done.
But that's our take on it. I think that it is something that is really up to the couple and there are many reasons why people want or need to get it done, so advice should be on hand for open discussion from medical practioners on it. Maybe the have also put the age up as there were many people wanting it reveresed.
My hubby has volunteered to 'have the snip', after this bub is born (our second), as he already has two children to a previous marriage as well as ours....he is 33 and i am 24....i said that he didn't have to do that as i would just stay on the pill, but he says that he does not want anymore, even if we do separate at some point in time (which hopefully doesn't happen!). I too think it is unfair that a person cannot choose to have something like this done...after all it is them that have to raise the 'unwanted' (so to speak) children, not the doctors...
A friend of mine's husband recently said that he wouldn't go and get it done, he is 34, she is 26, but now she is carring their 4th child (under 5, and unplanned), and he has now kindly offered to go and get it done!! :D
This is another one of those hard subjects, i suppose how do you know that something won't happen to make you regret your decision in the long run??? :confused:
I'm 39 and my husband is nearly 43. One of us is getting "fixed" after this baby is born, probably him based on past discussions.
We discussed it before we were married, nearly 18 years ago.
I can understand why surgeons are reluctant to sterilise younger patients. Often if it is the male having a vasectomy, though, putting some semen into cryogenic storage as an insurance against a change of circumstance will make some surgeons more receptive to the idea. The down side of that is that the storage costs an annual fee, from what I understand.
VERY GOOD reasons for waiting until you are older too -
My exH had a vasectomy after his second son was born when he was 28. His reasons for doing so (according to him) were
1) Both kids were pretty sick, demanding babies. He just said they couldn't go through that again. The youngest boy almost literally didn't sleep for about 18mths.
2) His wife at the time didn't want her tubes tied and the thought of not worrying about contraception was a big plus.
So off he went - got the chop, they split fours years later, I meet him 2 yrs after that - fall in love blah, blah blah. I want more kids more than anything so he gets a reversal. The pain was horrendous and it didn't work.
I couldn't get over it really and it was a huge factor in us splitting up.( The other factor was that he was a complete *******.)
I suppose it worked out ok since we ended up splitting up but it was just awful being infertile and I used to get very angry that we were going through this becasue of a stupid decsion he made about his fertility.
The doctor was a butcher and stuffed it up, but besides that he a) was not qualified to perform the surgery b) should never have permitted this because of exH age for the precise reasons above.
dont chuck away your fetility just yet! Although I must say Kamaikia - it's terrible that your sister has to go through another tough preg. I jsut don't think some doctors understand the toll having a baby takes on your body.
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