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Rebdot
05-08-2009, 21:42
After reading other peoples stories tonight i thought it was about time i shared mine,

When i woke up that morning i knew something was going to go wrong that day, me and dp were going out for lunch at a winery,

I started having pains not long after i woke up but they wernt that painfull and they wernt constant so i thought nothing of it,

When we got to the winery we seen we were the only ones their and were to scared to go in so we drove into town and went some where else,

the pain started to get slightly worse and dp noticed i was in pain but i thought it was nothing so we finished our lunch and seen a friend, then they got worse and when i went to the toilet their was some discharge so i told dp id like to go home and have a bath,

but still it didnt occur to me what might be happening, he went to his parents and i went home as we wernt living together at the time.

The person i was living with suggested we go to the hosptial, i still thought nothing of it so i didnt tell dp i didnt want him freaking out about nothing

id been in alot of pain for the past 2 hours since dp dropped me off and when i got in the hospital i felt something down their,

our babys feet, everything after that point isnt as clear, but that was the point where i finally realised what was going on and it all made sense,

I didnt want anyone else touching him so i put him on the blanket and he was so tiny compared to this massive blanket, he looked exactly like a baby only small and his skin was a redish purple colour, i realised at this point i hadnt contacted my dp as things had progressed so fast,

I called him but i couldnt get the words out of what had happened and just hung up,

I sat with him for another hour before i decieded i needed to go home, they advised me to stay but i couldnt stay there.

I rang dp again without telling him what had happened and asked him to pick me up,

I have a obsession with smells and i knew i had to have the blanket he had been in, so when i left they gave me the blanket,

i met dp out the front and he knew straight away, i felt so bad for him he had missed it all, he was upset at me because i hadnt told him earlier, but i just wasnt thinking right, he was angry i hadnt rang him so he could see his son, but to be honest i knew if he seen him he would never have another baby, he is barely stable as it is i knew it would put him over the edge.

we slept that night with the blanket, but by morning it lost its smell, i couldnt smell our baby anymore,

i was in hospital for under 5 hours,

he was cremated and his ashes were scattered,

It is hard for me to talk about this as its not something we have ever talked about since at hime, sometimes we say the occasional thing but mostly we get by easier by just thinking to ourselves about it.


Later we were told it was an unexplained stillbirth

CrankyAndTired
05-08-2009, 21:51
:( I am so sorry for your loss.. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

cmd'smum
05-08-2009, 21:57
I'm so so sorry for your loss :hugs::hugs:

BigRedV
05-08-2009, 22:02
:hugs:
:hugs:

Mrs Little
06-08-2009, 15:41
Rebdot- thank you for sharing your story... you're right, it's not easy to talk about it. For soooo many reasons.

I hope you found it helpful in your grieving process to write your little boy's story on here. I know it may not seem like it now, but i know that someone out there will read your story and it will help them through their own pain.

:hugs: to you. May your little boy rest in peace,...you Mummy and Daddy love you very much.

Mrs Little.

A Party of Five
07-08-2009, 10:09
Thank you for sharing your story with us I'm so very sorry for your loss :hugs:

lovehimsomuch
08-09-2009, 18:27
so very very sorry for your loss. huge :hugs: for you and your partner and your :angel: baby.

Teley
09-09-2009, 01:30
I am so sorry:hugs::hugs::hugs: