Scared Stiff!!

[Wish_Bear]

Hi all,

I am a Navy spouse and have been for 8 years. I am freaking out though about DH next deployment. He leaves on Monday for 4 months. I have not had to look after the kids on my own since DS was born in December and am so worried I won't cope. i have just done a week alone and nearly went insane. One day I had to call a friend to come over and stay with me as I was a blubbering mess. I was so stressed out. I have been through PND with my first and am so scared the next few months will push me towards it again. I can't control my temper and sometimes yell at my 3 year old even when she has done nothing wrong. And then I feel guilt which just adds to my bad feelings.

I just can't get this constant anxious feeling to subside. I am alone a lot which makes it seem much harder. All my family live on the Gold Coast so I have no one to take the kids of my hands if I need a break. Then there is also that feeling of not wanting to seem incapable of coping.

Anyway sorry I have gone on and on.

[MilkOnTap]

Heyya Tarynduggan - I'm here for you!!!

Navy life does suck. As you know, I'm going through it at the moment. There actually is a bit of support out there, what with DCO etc. Even just to call DCO and blubber over the phone to one of their support/social workers sometimes helps! If I'm in a bad mood and need to take it out on someone I will call them and be a rude cow.

Please feel free to add me to your msn... I know what your going through darl... Oh - and where are you in Aus?


Hugs!
Ally

[sharvs]

Hi Tarynduggan

First of all, i dont blame you for being scared - i would be too.

I only have one child, DS who is 6 months old. I often wonder how Defence wives cope with more than one child. DS keeps me busy & he isnt even crawling yet!

We moved to Bris in January, DF has been away since Feb (only spent 3 weeks home since then). He is home next week, for a month then starts a 7 month deployment. All my family is in SA so I know what you mean about being alone.

Like Ally said, use DCO. Dont be afraid too - they dont offer you anything unless you go to them. Have you thought about putting the kids in childcare one day a week? I'm going to do this when DF is overseas, just to save my sanity. I need a day to myself as I also have no-one to leave him with. I was worried he was a bit too young, but I'm no help to him when I am stressed so this is best for both of us.

What about playgroups? It gives you something little to look forward too. I also try not to think about the big picture as it is too daunting. Break it down & give yourself little things to look forward too.

I know what you mean about losing your temper - I do it to my 6 month old. He doesnt even do anything & I find myself getting really frustrated with him. Then I spend the next hour crying because I feel so terrible.

Please, talk to us. Sometimes its easier to write stuff like this to strangers than it is to talk to people you know. Write what you are feeling, even if you think it seems silly. You will feel better for getting it off your chest.

Every week down, is a week closer to him coming home & at the end of each week, pat yourself on the back & say "I did it". Be proud of yourself, you deserve to be.

Please, keep in contact. PM me anytime. I'm a SAHM so I'm always up for a chat (with someone other than a 6 month old!)

Chat soon
Sharon

[Wish_Bear]

Thanks heaps. It helps to know people are out there to listen to me whinge. :hugs:

Oh..I am in North Ryde in Sydney.