nearly 5 and still have major accident

[sugar n spice]

I am at a complete loss. How does a kid go from being absolutely toilet trained for a few months to having accidents all the time. My son is in kindy and has had the odd wee accident there but today he did a poo in his jocks:banghead:. The teachers are good and just deal with it but im so embarrased:(. What have i done wrong. Im sure im the only one. He is 5 in 8wks and this seems so pathetic. He know when he needs to go and does most of his wees in the toilets but not poohs. Usually waits till night time when the pull ups go on but he does also do it in his jocks. It was a first for him poohing at school though:eek:.

I mean i could take him to a dr but i cant see them doing much. Its not like something you can medicate.

He knows hes doing the wrong thing and says sorry but he just keeps on doing it and to tell you the truth being pregnant i cant stand the smell

[sugar n spice]

Ok cause im desperate for advice but not to be judged im going to bump it up:o

[Funkychicken]

Is there anything going on at Kinder that is worrying him? Often these things are linked to something in their lives that we are the last to know about. Maybe have a chat with him and casually ask a few questions. Or it could just be a case, similar to our DD, where he is having too much fun playing and doesn't want to stop to go to the toilet. It's pretty common for children to do this-they become engrossed in a game and don't 'have time' to go to the toilet.
You are by far NOT the ONLY ONE to go through this. It is so common, it's not funny! I know of children only pooing in their pants in the corner of the room OR only in a nappy standing in the bathroom. He will get past this. It is a very delicate thing to deal with-think your own privacy when pooing. Try hard to deal with it gently and whatever you do, don't punish or belittle him. This will only make it worse-much worse.
Good luck!:)

[Illusional]

My son used to do that as well - right up until he was 6.. It was so frustrating.

There was however a reason for him doing it though - and it was the relationship I was in at the time - it wasnt very loving and placed a great deal of stress on my son.
Once I was out of that situation - he stopped doing it.

Im not saying thats the same for your son - but as Funky said - he may have some stress/anxiety at Kinder that may be affecting him.
It doesnt have to be something huge either.. it only takes a small thing for some children to become quite stressed. (even if it doesnt seem like they are)

[Sarie]

We were really lucky, DS1 was completely toilet trained by 2.5, he's only had a couple of accidents in that time.
He also won't do poo's at kindy but waits till he gets home.
One thing that we didn't ever do was put him in pull ups, once he slept through the night for about a week in a row we stopped putting a nappy on him at bed time. He's only wet the bed twice and that was after he'd had nightmares both times.
We used rewards alot. With the number 2 thing (and may not be as affective with your boy being a little older), but we bought the sorbent kids toilet paper with all the cute pictures on. DS1 thought it was great, but we would only let him use it if he actually poo'd on the toilet.
Don't feel bad though some kids just take a bit longer, if somethings worrying him - have you told him about the new baby?
When he misses just say something like That's ok, maybe next time. He will get the hang of it!

[sugar n spice]

So let me get this right at the age of 5 that is classified as a LITTLE longer:o. Ok so if i dont tell him off afterwards you think that may help?
They say stresses can cause it but the major stresses in our life we cant change and stress happens all the time all around us. I had a baby last year so i think that put him off then we moved house now, then he started kindy, now we're moving again and then again in 8wks. Not things i can control.

I think everything at kindy is ok but i will talk to him. He is quite popular

[Illusional]

5 years for a boy is pretty common - they are usually later in being toilet trained than girls.. and it seems to be alot easier for them to have accidents too lol.

If you make a big deal out of it - it will defiantely make it worse.. my ex would yell and smack my son if he wet/woiled himself - and that just made him do it even more often.
Once that was stopped and I ignored it - he stopped having accidents. Just say to him 'Thats ok, lets go get you changed and next time try to get to the toilet, ok"

The baby, Kindy and moving are probably all stressing him out a little bit - and they may well be the problems.. of course there isnt much you can do about then, so just reassure him that everything is alright.
You may have to explain things more in depth to him than you think, ie: explain where you are moving, what the house will be like, talk about kindy each morning before he goes, what he will do there etc... Ugh i know I probably didnt make sense just then, but thats what I found really helped my son as well.
He used to get anxious about everything - so i used to over explain things to him and he calmed down alot.

[sugar n spice]

Ok thanks im going to calm myself down more when he has accidents and just say ok try again next time. and see how that goes, Hopefully there will be an improvement, i have often thought maybe i put too much pressure on him. So i might take a step back. thanks Illusional

[Illusional]

No problems Girl... I only know that part from experience and I thank the person who gave me that advice too lol.

(its kinda like if you tell someone not to smoke every 5 minutes - they will most likely light one up every time you say it hehe)