How much support?

[chameleon]

I was just wondering how much support everyone has from their partners, family and friends? I haven't been on here too long and so sorry if has already been discussed:o

I have a lot of support, particualrly from the family. They are always offering to babysit and trying to buy things, but I refuse because I want to do everything myself. I want to prove to myself that if I were a single mother, and had no family, I could manage.

My husband isn't home until late at night and leaves before our daughter wakes up, so he's never been able to help out much. I think he did one midnight feed back when she was still waking up at night:)

How about everyone else on here?

-The Daddy- 19
-The Mummy- 18
-The Princess- 5 months :p

[MeeG]

hay:wave:

I know what u mean by people judging you if u take someone's help especially being young ppl might see it like u cant handle it , im 32wks pregnant at the moment and me and my babies dad broke up when i was 13wks, his parents have been great thru this and so have mine, they realise were both young and its not charity there help but out of loove they wanna help there grandchild, i have no problem accepting there cause i know they also have the kids best interest at heart and they jus wanna be with it and spoil it to death lol, becareful that ur not pushing ppl away as well cause thats what i did at first, but anyways thats jus my experience, hope everything goes well for u GOODLUCK:hugs:

Megan

[HugsAndKisses]

i am so incredibly blessed to have my DP in my life:hugs: ...he is a wonderfull and hands on dad:kiss: ...he is great with justin, they play all the time and laugh together, he feeds him for me if im busy,we take turns in bathing him, brushing teeth, changing nappies etc...and even after all that he lets me sleep in some mornings by taking our son out of the room while he has breaky and gets ready to go off to work:thumbsup: ...

both our fammilys love justin although DP's parents weren't all that supportive emotionally but i dont care cause im so happy :D

[MissSparkle]

My DF also works very long hours so Im often alone with DS. I get along fine but here have been times when Ive been stressed or sick and my mum offers to take DS and I insist Im fine because like u I also want to prove I could do it alone.

Its not easy....... My family are VERY supportive and I made an agreement with my mum that DS could sleep over every couple of months (they begged for once a month but I wouldnt allow it) and on that night DF andI usually go out with friends.

Luckily I have Bubhub! Im often on here as soon as DS is asleep.....

[Illusional]

It's great that you have the support on offer if you need to accept it.. it's also understandable that you want to prove yourself to everyone as well *smiles*

I have been through stages where i didnt have any support at all and could have killed for someone to offer to do something for me.
Now - my kids go to my ex's house every weekend and i am usually glad for the break to be able to go and do things that need to be done without the added stress of taking them along.

Im sure that your friends and family are well aware that you can cope - they probably just realise that mothers can do with a break every now and then...
Maybe because DD is so young right now - its not really feasible for others to take her anyway - but if they keep insisting, you could tell them that when shes older youll take up their offers :D
And if they keep wanting to buy her things - set up a bank account for her and tell them they can donate into their instead if they are so set on it :p

[FourAngelKisses]

Back when I was a young mum (20), I had a ton of support from DH and none from family or "friends". I really envy those people who get cooked meals and housework etc done for them when they have babies. Not to mention all the babysitting.

[mel04]

Don't turn down the support!
Imagine when your child is older and they have a kid, wouldn't you want to do whatever you could to help/look after/spoil, that grandchild? I know i would, and i think i would feel hurt if i wasn't given the oppurtunity.
I don't know your whole situation, but i think it's great for the kids to spend time with grandparents etc.
We live with my parents and brothers, in a granny flat, and they love it! My mum is always telling me how lucky she feels that she gets to spend so much time with the girls. Even my brother (who's 17) will come along to see if shes awake yet cos he wants to play! lol
I love that i get so much support.
Don't think you need to prove yourself. I'm sure they are aware that you can do it on your own, but you don't need to.
If they want to pay for something let them do it occassionly and then treat yourself to something nice with the money you saved. Us mums deserve it every now and then!
You sound like your doing a fantastic job! Well done!

[kate_perth_10]

my family have never really been much support as all. My mum thinks i should learn to do it all myself.while i agree in theory having no one to babysit or anything can be very upsetting. My dh has been great though and i dunno if i could have got this far with out him.

If people offer you help go for it. They're not trying to say that you can't do it yourself cause i'm sure your really capable. It took me a long time but you don't have to be super mum all the time you do still need time for yourself.

Good Luck with it and your really lucky to have people around you that care so much :)

[chameleon]

Oh don't get me wrong, I have used their support on quite a few occasions too. After we got married she stayed with her grandparents a few nights while we were on our "honeymoon" and my Mum looks after her while I do grocery shopping. With buying her stuff, there was a time when my Mum was buying her everything, as in nappies and formula etc. I'd go out to get some and Mum would be like 'oh I noticed you were getting low so I picked some up for you.' She meant well but it made me feel like I was incapable. So I talked to her and now she resists.
The other day as I was trying to get DD's bath ready and warm up her bottle and bounce her at the same time. Mum offered to hold her and said to me 'you've proved yourself that you can do it all yourself, so just take advantage of us while you have us here.'
I think we've reached a happy medium now:)

-The Daddy- 19
-The Mummy- 18
-The Princess- 5 months :p

[FourAngelKisses]

MTAP...I wish my mum were like yours. She has never offered to have my kids, never helped me out, never buys them anything except cheap birthday and Christmas presents (they all break after a day or two). I feel like printing your post out and sending it to her and saying "this is what grandparents are supposed to do."

[~Danni~]

Hey:wave:

I have my DF who is my major source of help:D We are the same, although we had people offer to buy us stufff we refused on the bases of we Knew we could do it on our own and at least then no one could turn around and say we didn't look after our kids well. Apart from my mum and two aunties we don't have any other family to help us out, my mum works long hours and my aunties live 2 hours away, so it's just us most of the time!! :D

[♥Heaven Sent♥]

:wave: I get alot of help from my mum i couldnt live without her if im stressed she helps out and just when i need it.Me and my df live with my mum we also get some help whenever needed from df's mum and dad.I am due in 2 weeks to have my second bubba and dd will be staying with df's parents until i have given birth.