What can I do?

[lucysummers]

My 5 week old DD is refusing to self settle during the day. She is a bit better at night so we know she can go it but during the day she ends up getting herself so tired....she can be awake for up to 4/5 hours and still refuse to give in.

We have

1) held her to sleep and put her down but the minute the head hits the mattress....PING...eyes wide open...instant cry

2) put her down awake...instant cry

3) put her down at that real last moment before she falls asleep...PING...you guessed it.


...the thing is she doesn't just grizzle and then cry...it's straight into what I affectionatly refer to as her 'piglet' cry cos it sounds like a tiny piglet being killed......how can I leave her like that. I have tried leaving her a couple of times for a minute / 2 minutes but she just doesn't calm down at all and works herself up even more....either to the extent of being sick or when i pick her up she burps and then sicks.

I know you're meant to put them down awake / semi asleep but we just don't seem to be able to.

People have mentioned patting to sleep.....I finally got her to give in this morning after 2 hours of fighting with her by patting her on her tummy...is this going to be the only way to persevere.....cos when do you then stop that...surely it's just another way of settling them yourselves as opposed to them self settling??

She often falls asleep whilst I'm feeding her but I always try to wind her so she is awake a bit.

When she screams she often goes to her hungry cry but as soon as i give in and offer her the feed within 2 sucks she's asleep so I know she's not really hungry as she doesn't continue to dream feed.

Sorry for the long post..think part of me just needs to get it all out...at least she settles better at night so we don't have this fight at night time.....there's nothing that i do differently at night though.

Any ideas or thoughts would be very much appreciated.

[JabberJaw]

Babys don't generally self settle at 5 weeks of age. Sounds like typical baby behavior.

They like to be held and carried throughout the day. Try carrying her in a sling.

I never put my kids down semi awake at that age, its far far to young for them to 'learn' anything. They learn to self settle as they get older.

The worlds is a scary place for a 5 week old, i reckon a sling or baby carrier is going to be a great option, you will get both hands free and be able to do stuff, while bub gets to be close to you, hear your heart, feel your warmth, smell you and sleep.

[kar]

i agree with jj - at this age it sounds like she is just not ready. my ds self settled until about 6 wks, then he woke up and realised he didn't like being alone. no more self settling. i didn't even know that was what it was called, just thought babies went to sleep when they were tired, silly me!

also, it might be worth considering if there is any refluxy issues? my ds suddenly at 7 wks just could not be put down (at all, awake or asleep), would stop crying as soon as i picked him up etc. i thought it was behavioral and perhaps was to a degree but it was also because the poor little tike had chocolate triggered reflux that came on suddenly when i started eating chocolate over easter, just a thought.

he also has never done grizzle, direct to scream the house down, you can't ;eave them when they are like this, it does get better with time and patience :hugs:

[kar]

btw i think winding is over rated if you have a bub who will feed to sleep without ill effect...

[lucysummers]

Thanks for the replies. It's just that you're the 1st 2 people to say this...the CHN, hospital, ALL the books say don't ever start holding/rocking/cuddling them to get them to sleep..right from day 1 put them down awake....I know it's still very early days but DS went straight to sleep on his own from the start so really struggling here.

Guess we'll keep holding to get her to sleep for a bit and persevere on the settling in a few weeks time.

Thanks :flowerz:

[lucysummers]

btw i think winding is over rated if you have a bub who will feed to sleep without ill effect...

She has really bad wind though and gets really bad pain with it so need to try and wind her if poss.....agree that if not a problem why make such a fuss over it :yes:

[kar]

its really hard and i am sure i wanted to scream when people said this to me when DS needed to be held all day, but try to relax and some sort of baby carrying device will be your best friend.

will she sleep in the bed with you? this was a good one for us too during the day and forces you to take a break. hmm, just saw you have another, probably not an option for you.

look, i wish i had started assisting DS to self settle earlier than i did, but if they wont they wont and when you have a screamer you just can't leave them. my very demanding little bub still is at 5 months, but he is also just a joy - laughs and screams louder than any other bubs his age!

And if you had told me 2 months ago that I would miss cuddling him to sleep I would have laughed at you, but I do now he is a big boy who wants to sleep in his cot!