any advice?

[MeeG]

Hi guys,

My names Megan and im 18 and 32 wks pregnant, and well the father and i spilt up wheni was 13 wks it was really really hard on me cause we were so close and now i hardly ever talk to him or see him, he wants to be apart of his daughters life but i dont know whether to believe that because i've been asking him for help over these pass few months and now i've given up, he hasnt helped pay for any baby stuff or didnt help in choosing names but complains about the ones ive choosen, hes really more stress than he's worth but i wanted to know peoples opinion on not putting his name on the birth certificate? is that too far? i mean i dont care about child support if he's jus gonna keep disappointing his daughter. im sooo lost, in need of ANY advice:gloomy:

[aggero]

What is your main reason for considering leaving him off? Is it because he hasn't supported you the way you would have liked? If this is the case for your childs sake I wouldn't keep him off the birth certificate. I know that even if I didn't have any contact with my dad I would want his name on my birth certificate. JMO.

[angcaltam]

This is just my opinion. I would still put his name on the Birth Certificate. Put it on there not for you but for your DD. It doesn't mean that you have to have anything to do with him.

Anyway, keep your chin up and just think you will soon have your DD in your arms and then none of this will matter.

[JasmineLouise]

Firstly MeeG... :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

I would keep the name on the certificate too... thats just my opinion! I suppose it really is your decision though!

Goodluck with everything... hopefully things will work out for the best!:fingerscrossed:

[SamanthaJane]

Hey sweety hugs to you:hugs:

I am sorry he isnt stepping up to his responsibility. My baby's father is sort of acting the same way, so i know how you feel:hugs:

Its weird, he says he wants to be involved? But i'm guessing it is only when it suits him...:confused: i'd be telling him that if he wants to meet this baby then he needs to grow up and start helping or he can miss out... just my opinion!

I would still put the name on the birth certificate:yes:

PM me if you need to chat!

[melfunction]

if my babys dad was a pr*ck

Oh so classy :rolleyes:

[shed]

I would probably put the pr*ck (LOL, sorry KM) on the birth certificate. Mainly because I personally wouldn't like to have a blank space where the father's name is supposed to be on MY birth certificate.

[SimplyMum]

My DS's dad is NOT on the birth certificate. My reasons, well....

- He was not going to make an effort with seeing him and I didn't want his Dad coming in and out of his life when it suited him, I didn't want the repetative rejection, a kid doesn't need that from someone as important as his Dad. He can meet his Dad when he is older and able to stand up for himself and be self-confident enough to know that it doesn't matter if his Dad's a jerk- he's perfect!

- He can quite easily get out of paying child support by simply working cash in hand, putting assets in someone else's name. And I'm sure there's many other ways I'm unaware of as well.

- If his name was on the birth certificate he would also have 50% say in all decisions made. From quite simply if he goes on a soccer camp to what school and he goes to. I don't know about your partner but my ex was the type of person to not allow my DS to go on his soccer camp just to spite me.



No-one can tell you what to do, but just know that whatever you do- it's a long term decision. Unless of course you've got the money to go through the court system. Good luck. Keep smiling!:)

[lovingmumof 2now]

I considered the same thing when I was pregnant.

I guess the points to consider are;

* Will your child mind the father being blank?
* You will never get a cent off him.
* You will be on minimum family assistance because you cannot get child support

but then again

* you will have full freedom to make the choices
* you wouldnt have to worry about custody and access

I chose to put him on, my ex is such a weasel he doesnt really care about his daughter and would never take her anyway, he hates paying child support even though it is on $30 a week but at least I get full family payments.

Good luck with your decision, its a tough time for you and we are here to help and support!!!.


love Ang:hugs:

[Chanelc]

Maybe ask yourself how will you deal with the question from your child in the distance future "mummy why isn't daddy's name on my birth certificate" ? Is there any reason not to name him?

I named my ex partner on my daughters certificate as he is her father even if we aren't together anymore. My reason was I want my daughter to see that she had a dad that loved her it was just her daddy & mummy couldn't be together and that it is not her fault.

Anyway that is my thoughts you need to do what feels right for you

Cheryl 33yr
Chanel 6 months

[Gribel]

Hi

I was in the same boat, we split up while I was pregnant, but then after bub was born he decided that it wasn't his child so I had to drag his *** to Family Court and we got a DNA Test done, which cost him $385 (hehe). Anyway, he doesn't want anything to do with DS at all, he's seen him, but not close up - by his own choice.
I too didn't want any child support, after all it was my decision to keep DS and so on, but as already said before, if you want to get Centrelink Benefits you MUST apply for Child Support, otherwise you will get the absolute minimum. DS Dad pays Child Support, he said he would cause it's his responsibility, but he doesn't want anything to do with either of us. Fair enough.
I also was considering leaving his name off the Birth Certificate, first I had to cause we had to get the DNA Test done and the Father has to sign in order to be on there, anyway after the Test I did get the BC amended and he signed so the name is on there. The reason I did this is so later on in DS life things wouldn't get akward when the father's name isn't on there, if you know what i mean. Besides, we know that he is the father, so why shouldn't he be on there, even though he decided not to be part of our lives.
Yes, it can get difficult eg when you want to get a Passport for bubba, cause again they want both parents to sign the form, but again there is a waiver form you can fill out to get the passport with out consent of another parent. I have found so far that all Gov Agencies have been pretty good dealing with Single Mum issues, so there is always a way.

In the end it is your decision, if he wants to see bubba, it should be on your terms. I agree that your better off without him when his only halfhearted in this. I have found that we are better off in some ways, at least i can say he is mine and my responsibility only, if you know what i mean. I have enough male friends so DS has some male to look up to, other than that i believe that I am giving him the best life I possible can, and Child Support certainly helps out a lot

Sorry to :ecomcity: :ecomcity: , but if you need more info, PM me anytime


Cheers

[hubberonholidays]

Hello - Totally understand your situation - It's very similiar to the one I'm currently in. Just wanted to let you know that I took legal advice and if you know who the father is, legally you have to put him on the birth certificate. If you apply for centrelink, without a father on the birth certificate - you have to sign a decleration saying you have no idea who the Father is at all. If you're then later found out to have lied you can be charged with fraud, as it changes the amount of money centrelink has to pay you. I understand why you would not want him on the certificate but make sure you're not setting yourself up for a big fall later.
Kepp Smiling and Good Luck with your bub!

[Tarnya]

My mother never put my real fathers name on my birth certificate, I don't think she realised that when you do have a dad you don't want to be staring at a blank space where it says FATHERS DETAILS I stare at my blank certificate every time I have to use it. It makes me sad, plus when my dad died he had a rather large inheritance fund left, all of his other 3 children accessed it but I couldn't as there was no proof he was my father. I would not leave him off the certificate I despised my mum for doing it to me. You already feel bad enough if your dads not around.