neice and nephews through docs

[kazarina]

just wondering if anyone else out there was guardian to children of your extended family due to docs removal? how you felt about it and how the situation worked out.How did you find the docs system etc

[Loopy Linda]

sorry to hear

[mollyk99]

We have our nieces and nephews as a result of a DoCs intervention (but this is Qld DoCs, not NSW.)

In our- and I stress our - particular case, they acted quickly, removed the children, and our issues related to not being able to get them out again fast enough for me - they were very cautious and it took nearly 2 months to go through all the rigmarole to have them handed over.

That said, the foster carers were wonderful - the kids still talk about her nearly 3 years later.

We had a tough road adjusting everyone to being a 'new blended family' but we're pretty much there now.

Of course, the kids were also very young, so they adapted well, and they had not been abused for their whole lives, just a few months (yes, the old 'new defacto' scenario.

These days, the hardest thing we have to face (apart from the youngest being SN) is the loss of the lifestyle and plans we nearly got to have!

And general irritation with the number of people who tell us how wonderful we are: We aren't wonderful at all, we just did what we had to at the time and we'll keep doing it, difficult as it is some days.



Molly.

[kazarina]

good to hear things are going well for you both. i know what you mean when people say you are special people and your not, i mean of course you would only do what comes naturally.


ah we had our niece and nephew in our care after they were removed due to severe domestic and mental abuse and neglect there was even an attempted murder of the youngest child.

after six months in our care,countless nights of us sitting with them though the tears ,numerous problems with the parents, so many councelling sessions ( our own family it made it so hard) docs returned the children to the parents and ignored all further complaints made about the family(and the complains came from day care etc people as well) and they have since fallen through the cracks and docs has dropped the case.

i myself found problems with docs because they did not follow up but i have met some other docs workers who are fabulous.

just wanted to see some other peoples stories

i miss them :yes:and its a shame we dont get to see them or anything at all now.

i find it hard because the eldest said she didn't want to go home and begged me to let her stay.ah what can you do

[mollyk99]

God Kazarina, how awful for you. And how dreadful for those poor little ones. If you can, just keep ringing up and nagging, or writing letters and nagging, or emailing and nagging.... I used to drive them absolutely insane demanding to know what was going on - I rang every morning at 9.30am, and then (as no one would ever speak to me, lol) would ring every hour on the hour until someone spoke to me.

Whilst composing long emails and sending those too. I swear they hurried up the application just to get rid of me... :D

The system is so flawed in so many ways - there's so many good people doing the best they can and so much red tape and bureaucracy as well.

Family Law has issues too, we found the concept that a mother who is in prison for hurting her children, has the right to get legal aid to fight for the right to have access to them. I still cannot get my head around that one.

I so hope you manage to keep in contact in some way, I really do, and I really hope that your outcome is good for all of you.

Molly

[kazarina]

oh i have been nagging and ringing and emailing lol the whole lot now its a different issue because the moved the kids to qld so we couldn't see them and we couldn't "claim" they were being neglected because we can't see it and they dont want us and everyone else interfiering.so nsw docs who delt with the case are saying its not their problem

oh and the concept of the mother being in prison is something i dont understand, i don't understand how they can be placed back with their parents when the mother tried to strangle the youngest to death.

there is so much i just do not understand.

[mollyk99]

oh and the concept of the mother being in prison is something i dont understand, i don't understand how they can be placed back with their parents when the mother tried to strangle the youngest to death.

there is so much i just do not understand.

Me either. Me either.

I spend my life constantly not understanding a huge amount of stuff around the law.

The mother of our youngest 3 was given legal aid to 'fight us' in our custody request. She was in jail at the time - for what she had done to them! We, on the other hand, had *gasp* a job.... had to pay for our own lawyers - nearly bankrupted us.

We had DoCs, the independent children's lawyer and the children's father all going 'we're happy, we want the children to go to Molly and her DP' and we had that cow with lawyers and barristers paid for by the taxpayer, demanding access to them.

They were in foster care because of what she and her pigperson of a boyfriend had done - it's not like we just scooped 'em up and demanded she hand them over!

Rant over.

If you know roughly where they are in Qld, I think I would still put a long, detailed, formal request in writing, to the nearest DoCs office, acquainting them with the situation and 'recommending, heavily' that DoCs keep an eye on them.

It'll help you feel better and you never know - they might just investigate and keep them on the radar.

I so hope it's all ok for you...

Molly.

[mollyk99]

How's it going with girls in the house?

Molly

[Loopy Linda]

hi i replied in other thread, all good and a little hectic. thanks for thoughts

[lil miss]

My partner andI are kinship carers of his 13 and 10 year old sisters and 8 year old brother (who suffers adhd). They were put in our care in august 2009. We recieved a call one friday afternoon from Docs (qld), asking if we could have them for a maximum of 2 weeks so thier mum (also dp's mum) could get their house cleaned up etc. We reluctantly agreed. They have not left.

When the 2 weeks were up, their mum had fulfilled the requirements to get get them back (part of me thinks she does not want them back). So Docs asked if we would be full time kinship carers for the kids for a period of 2 years. As we have a 2.5 year old dd of our own, and i suffer from a lot of anxiety and stress as it is, i refused, but i knew dp would hate me if they had to be split up and put into foster care in another town.

We were approved carers for 3 months, until all the paper work etc was completed and now we are approved kinship carers. Its been a very bumpy road, and i have felt like giving up at times, but then i think that its not the kids fault. Their mum is in and out of their lives, and while she not meant to have contact with them other than on set days, every now and then she will be round every day then other times we wont see her for weeks. All she has to do is find appropriate employment and a suitable house and maintain the cleanliness of it. But in my opinion she is doing anything but. Its so frustrating and dp is out in a awkward position as its his mum too and he wants to help her, but she needs to learn to manage herself, and no matter how many times we pick her up she always falls not long after.

Im only 21, and im still getting used to having my own child let alone an extra 3. And we are expecting our 2nd baby in july this year. While I do feel liek giving up sometimes, I am trying to do whats best for the kids, cuz in the end they deserve a stable life and a loving environment.