1st 6 months - how often did you have sex?

[Lucy in the Sky]

How often did you actually have sex in the first 6 months after your first bub?
Did you want it, or was it sympathy sex?
Did it get better in the 2nd 6 months???
Be honest... make all us new Mums feel normal! :)



Poll results are private

[naebie]

I think it was probably 5 months until we finally dtd, and even then it has been mostly sympathy sex- I still have absolutely no sex drive, but give in to DP weekly to fortnightly...
Lately it has stopped being painful though, which is definitely a good thing!!

[DKW]

We didnt at all, I had gall stones so 2-3 times a wk was up all night in pain, had my gall bladder out when she was 12 wks old and needed time to recover so took a long time!!

[BigRedV]

I really can't remember...maybe once a week.

We DTD 3 weeks after DD was born :D

[Poppetfish]

After about 6 weeks we were back in the sack going like rabbits. I actually fell pregnant at 12 weeks after.:p I lost the baby though.:gloomy:

We have already done things today because my DH is home sick from work:thumbsup:

[CrankyAndTired]

About once a week, starting 10 days after my c-section. Definately improved to more pre-baby standards after the first 6 months.

Bub is nearly nine months now and there been a few days in recent months where we've done it twice in one day - and even once at the shops!! :D

Physically there has been no problem, its just that we're both incredibly sleep deprived.. :sleeping:

[peanutbutter&jelly]

:laughing: I know we did... *something*, God knows what, my memory fails me completely and utterly, just after the 6 week check up. That was right before reflux started, so basically between then and 6 month-ish, DS & I took the brunt of non-sleeping and towards the end of that co-sleeping, but bad sleep habits so I was consistently exhausted :D

[EmmasMummy]

- and even once at the shops!! :D


anyone else want to know how she did it at the shops lol.


Ummm.... we were pretty rocking emotionally for a while.... I did it a few times more pitty sex I knew he wanted to but I wasnt all that into it ...and it was painful for a while....and then we nearly broke up thanks to his mother.... but we are in our place and things are alot better now.... We dont do it all that often though still more just because we are tired and dont get tiem too lol

[khaloodi]

My wife and I waited around two months before we started again... intermittently at first, probably once a week now.

We have a two year old that wakes between 4-10 times a night and takes from 1-3hrs a night to put to sleep... we also have a five month old that wakes 5 times a night. I work full time, but we share the responsibility of waking up to our little girls.

After all this... we still manage to find time once a week... even though we're both really tired and sleep deprived. For all the people complaining about how sleep deprived you are waking up 2-3 times consider yourself lucky, you should be like RABBITS with all that spare time :P

Also, alot of libido issues stem from diet... if you're not breastfeeding and still complaining about libido i'd probably get that sorted ASAP. talk to your doctor....

[Boobycino]

I wanted sex in the beginning, before bubba was 3 months old I was still interested. Now I just dont feel like it at all. This is weird, as I was loving sex 6 times a week until I got pregnant (errr, no supprised we got pregnant) I was even really cranky because we were ONLY having sex 3 times a week when I was pregnant.

We had sex TWICE the night before I went into hospital to be induced at 41+2weeks pregnant! Because I wanted to. I had to coerce him into it. Partly to induce labour, mostly because I felt like it was out last chance to be lovers before becoming parents.

I remember saying my ideal sex life would be sex twice a day... what was I thinking?!?!

Now... on the one hand, I think "ugh too much effort" but I think the pivital issue in our sexual relatonship is I ALWAYS initiated the sex previously. Sex was always when I wanted it, when I rolled over and stroked his back so he'd know what I wanted. So now that I have no active desire or energy, we dont have sex. But if he rolled over and stroked my back, I dont think it would be symapthy sex. I just dont THINK of sex to have it, but I know I like it when we do have it.

I've even told DP to just come and get it :laughing: I guess he cant want it that badly either.

[reAllytee]

I think it was around the 4mth mark after having Boof because I was so terrified after all the damage & I only did it because I felt horrible that DP had been without since I fell pg too as I was so sick !

When he realised how much pain it caused etc he refused to allow me to 'feel sorry' for him because he hated the idea of me being more traumatised.

Its quite funny that I fell pg with G really & its now been 2yrs since we have DTD this time round, not because his birth was bad but because I still cant get over what happened with Boof.

[Amara]

I would say that by 2 months we were back to where we were before having bubs.

[Mrs Nietzsche]

Sex drive was as per normal... prob did it 2-3 times a week? But I found it harder to 'respond'... (took ages, mind wandered more - I still felt just as interested, but once it was happening it was like my body wasn't as responsive ) ... after 5-6 mths I found it all just as enjoyable, but by then I was pg again so I don't know if that was a factor.

[Kittylou]

I can't really remember the first six months but it definitely didn't get any better in the second. In fact, it probably got worse because DD became really unsettled at night at around 7 months and ended up co-sleeping until she was 12 months so that kind of limited our opportunties.

[oleander]

I wanted it but was single in the first 6 months so I just bought a really good vibrator. :D (it broke from over useage :cool:)

[Kittylou]

I wanted it but was single in the first 6 months so I just bought a really good vibrator. :D (it broke from over useage :cool:)

LOL that sounds like me when DS was a baby. Funny how it was the complete opposite the second time around when DH was around and always ready and willing.

[workin'mumof2]

nearly 13months it took me to physically do anything with dh. due to my birth with my dd.

so i would say none and nothing in the first 6months.

[temple]

we started having sex again at about three weeks, it was once every ten days or so I guess, then gradually once a week, is now working its way firmly to a couple of times a week :) DS is five months.

[Seacretsquirrel]

With DD we got back into our usual pattern fairly fast (I think)
With DS things are different cause he is back at sea so he is hardley ever home:gloomy: So I get pity sex when he returns!!!:D plus reunion sex I knew there were perks for him going away all the time!

I agree with a PP that it takes a bit longer to get into it and DS is a champ at snuffling or farting or something just at the crucial moment so we have started turning off the baby monitor while we are intimate!:devil6:

[BabelFish]

We tried earlier but honestly I was so traumatised after my delivery that it scared me too much and it took much longer than I thought it would to heal properly down there. Externally everything was totally normal, internally I was bruised and sore for a long time.

So it was six months when we first tried, but it wasn't pain-free until after my period returned at 7.5 months. Then, it just seemed like everything clicked back to normal.

Of course, then I got pregnant almost straight away again so it's been a few months between times again! Poor DP - he's a bit heroic these days.... :D

[Queen]

Umm probably count on one hand....

[garfield13]

nope none. dtd at 7mths after dd and now just getting back into it:o Between being scared and healing down there its taken a while and dh has been away quite a bit for work over the last few mths so thats slowed it down recently