Why did you choose to be a SAHM?

[Ponyboy]

My husband and I have decided that we don't want our daughter to go into day care once my maternity leave finishes in February next year. So I will become a SAHM and finish my degree (Librarianship). I have mixed feelings about this - one is guilt as I had built up my career quite well before going on maternity leave and feel that SAH may influence how committed to my career that my bosses feel I am. I have already faced one of my mentors (and also former manager) who has high career hopes for me and when I mentioned I may be off for longer she gave me a wry look like she was disappointed.

On the other hand, I'm quite happy to stay at home and give my daughter a good start to life and get to see all the wonderful moments that one would miss if returning to work.

Did anyone else feel this way when making the decision to stay at home?

The other guilt I have is not contributing to the family finances.

[candlelover]

I had no qualms about being a SAHM i couldn't do it with my first 2 children and though i do do PartyPlan it only take 8-12 hr a week of my time on a weekend so i still class myself as a SAHM and love every bit of it my children benefit from it, my DS at school has improved his marks, i wish i could have done it sooner.

[Mum2Bug]

to be honest i had no choice. well i did but i didnt. i knew i couldnt return to work and give my daughter the support she needed in the first couple of yrs, especially as im a single sahm. i discussed it with ex and he agreed with me. its just something you and your other half need to talk about more and just see how you feel about it. it could be that you end up going back straight away or that you love being home with bub more than you expected to.

finances - wouldnt the world be better if we didnt have to worry about money. this is something the two of you definitely need to talk about. is he worried about you not contributing?

we are all here for you. just remember that. but as much as we suggest and advise, only you will know what feels right

[EskimoMumma]

Having worked a fair chunk of DS's life. i regret it. it was osmething that HAD to be done though.

Now me and DP are comfortable enough for me to be a SAHM mum until kids are in school and this one is kinder age. I attempted work earlier this year but it wasnt make any difference, especially witht he cost of childcare.

Please do not let these people who have put themselves before their kids worry or stress you out. Your a mum now and the best thing in life is rasiing these lil devils :yelclap: I applaud that you will be finishing up the studies and that but do not feel you are any less because you are taking more time off than planned. It is well worth and something youwill NOT regret.

[OscarTheGrouch]

The childcare situation (ie. long waiting lists) has had a major influence on me being a SAHM. This is another reason why we have chosen to have another child within a short space of time. I have both their names down on a waiting list and will go back to work when Squiggy is 6 months old.

[onabreak]

My hubby wanted me to be a SAHM. We run our own business so I do work from home. I want to raise my own children and not have to put them in day care. I love spending every day with my daughter and wouldn't want it any other way.

[Peaceangels]

We (DH & I) made the decision that I would be a SAHM (if finances permitted) until the kids went to school when we were on our very long ttc journey.
We didn't have kids for someone else to mind them and although being a SAHM can be very hard (putting a career on hold, not getting much adult interaction), I wouldn't have it any other way and feel blessed to be able to stay at home.
I will however be starting soon some part-time work from home, my own hours working for a friend (now that DS1 is at Preschool I have a bit of extra time and we need a bit of extra $$$ to tide us over each month).

[Tea Lady]

It was an easy decision for me - I was a teacher so I knew I didn't want to spend all day with other peoples' kids and then have to come home and be enthusiastic about my own. Kids also do most of their learning and form alot of lifelong attitudes in their first few years and I want to be the one shaping the way my daughter learns and thinks about the world, rather than a child care worker who I don't really know. I also think you can get a nice balance between having one on one time and socialising if you join a playgroup or something similar - I worry that some kids might get lost in the crowd if they're always in a group care setting.

On the finances front - I figure I am earning something because the gov gives me money to stay home! Sometimes I do feel a bit strange that my DH is out earning money while I"m the one at home spending most of it, but I figure that we work as a team, and we just each have different roles within the same team while we both have the common aim of raising our daughter well.

I don't think you'll regret being a SAHM - I know I"m so glad I get to be the one to enjoy all the cute and funny things my DD does all day :)

[~Danni~]

We chose for me to be a SAHM for lots of reasons:)

1. Didnt want DD to have her primary carrers be from a child care center
2. The money it would cost to pay for child care would take up nearly all my pay anyway
3. I don't think I would have coped well having to leave DD in child care :D


there were some others but they were the main ones:p

[cheezelkat]

Couldn't afford daycare plus I don't trust strangers to care for my child anyway. Also, I love watching DS reach all the milestones - something might otherwise have missed out on!

[angus'smum]

I have chosen to be a stay at home mum,because i couldn't imagine being without my little man [ANGUS],i really think the 1st year of your childs life is very important and i want to be there to experience everything with him.:)


me-27
angus kingsley-24.03.06-3months,little devil in disguise.:devil6:
db-33

[Spewiesmum]

I've just resigned from work and will officially become a SAHM on Thursday at 2:31pm!

I reluctantly returned to work just about a month ago but decided after three weeks I had had enough. Part of me leaving is about me despising my job. Also the trip to and from work, DH hours of work and of course DS being in childcare.

We had to beg and plead for a position and from the moment he entered the centre he's been sick. Which means I've been sick.

Everyone keeps telling me it's better that they are sick at this age than having to have lots of time off once they reach primary school but I just don't agree. DS had to recover from a 'pooing and spewing' bug, then a horrendous cold (almost three weeks now) and teething on top of one another.

Money will be an issue but DH said he'd rather have a wife who wasn't stressed than the money (what little of it there was after tax, childcare and fuel). And he mentioned something about the house being clean again...:rolleyes:

I'm excited about spending more time with DS - he has reached several milestones in the past few weeks. I will continue to look for work but it will be something I enjoy and can do from home.

Am I worried about the future financially? Yes.

Am I looking forward to my future as a SAHM? More than anything!

[FourAngelKisses]

We decided that I would be a SAHM because I have never worked. Another reason (the main one) being that we couldn't afford for me to work. We would have to pay someone to have all 3 kids 3mths a year on school holidays, someone would have to drive the older two to school and pick them up after school, someone would have to take Matthew every day, I would have to make a 90km trip every day.............basically I would be working for nothing, or we would be worse off. I also didn't have my kids so other people could raise them for me. They don't need the luxuries of life like a ton of toys, tv's, a big house. They need lots of love. :)

JMO

[mum2bubba]

There are a few reasons why I have chosen to be a SAHM:

a) because my parnts weren't around much
b) I didn't finish highschool so don't have a great education, I can only get low paying jobs (unless I go back to school)
c) we can't afford daycare and we havn't got freinds or rellys to look after Hayley in the day coz they either kive too far or work themselves.
c) I honestly don't think theres any job in the world more challenging or satisfying then being a mum.

When Hayley goes to school I MIGHT work a few hours a week (unless by then we have another child who isn't in school yet) but we'll see what happens....

At the end of the day all the money I work for would just end up going to daycare, I'd rather have less money and more time with my child(ren), my DD has a roof over her head, food in her stomach, nice clean clothes, toys books (mostly bought second hand) and a nice warm bed, oh and she is loved, happy and healthy.Why ould I want to go to work and miss out on her taking her first steps ad stuff like that????

[kuz78au]

Howdy,
I found it very challenging. I really wanted to be a SAHM, but once I got here I really wanted my career back! I feel bad about not bringing in an income (although the gov't does contribute a little!), I feel a little unstimulated sometimes (there is only so many Hi-5's you can watch!). But you know what, it's hard but it's worth it. We make do with what we have financially. I can't justify paying $40-$60 per day for childcare when you have 5 children to 1 carer. If I worked full-time, I would only see my bub on the weekends and for about 2-3 hours during a weekday. I think I would miss so much...

But that said, I totally respect mums and dads who have no choice and salute them! For me, I just can't do it and will go to the end of the earth to make sure I don't have to return until I'm ready! TO THE END OF THE EARTH! LOL! :D Plus being a SAHM means I can my hair any colour I want and get all those tattoo's I've been hankering for! LOL! :laughing:

[Ana Gram]

Wasn't really much of a choice. I don't have the earning capacity to pay for childcare, so I had to stay at home.

[Sarie]

It was the only choice I would ever make. My hubby and I don't believe in having kids and putting them into child care.
Things are sometimes tight but I would rather go without a few material things than miss out on raising my children and being there with them every day.
Maybe we are old fashioned in our values but I don't really mind.

[Sarie]

They were always working and I just don't want that life for my children... I want to be at home with them every second that I can and if I can't be then DF will be, there will always be one parent at home for our children...
That's how we feel also.

[Milliner]

With the price of childcare now and not knowing if its a good childcare or not I don't see the point of returning to work unless you earn big $$$ and you don't mind leaving your child with a nanny or something!! I could not leave my DS I think I will stay with him until he goes to school or kinda and I will get a part time job or something!!! By then I will probably have another one!!

[Niki]

My df has said he wants me to stay at home because i love being with jake all day! I was getting promotions in my career b4 hand but it doesnt bother me now i can always go bak to it

[Taylors_mum]

I envy all the mums out there that are able to stay home and look after their little ones. Its the hardest but most rewarding job in the world. Enjoy EVERY moment of it.. you dont know how lucky you are.

[Nickster]

DH and I decided that I would be a SAHM because nothing will ever beat the one-on-one care and attention a child receives from a loving mother in the very important formative years of their life.

I also wanted to breastfeed for as long as possible - eg. the first 2 years.

Despite the financial sacrifices we've had to make, and the fact that occasionally I do miss my happy workplace, we are happy with our decision, and I work most Saturdays at the moment, while DH has some "daddy time" with DD, so I can still feel like I'm contributing financially. This has been important for my self-esteem.

Oh, and I couldn't stand to leave her with anyone else. I would miss her too much and be far too anxious about not being with her.

I feel extremely fortunate we were able to have a choice, because I know a lot of parents don't these days.

[Issey]

Unfortunately I don't have a choice:crying: and have to go back to work & full-time even though I would be able to survive with 3 days - my employer won't let me:thumbsdown: so I have to look for something else.

I WISH so much I could be a SAHM, you are very lucky to be able to do so. I am going to miss my DS SO MUCH :crying:

[angcaltam]

There were lots of reasons why I chose to be a SAHM. But I will tell you the main three.

The main one was that I wanted to raise my kids and not have someone else do that for me.

The next is I didn't want to miss out on anything that they do in their first years of their lives.

Then the next thing was we sat down and done the figures and it was going to cost way to much for child care.

But I think being a SAHM is the best job and the most rewarding job in the world.:yes:

When DD is in school then I will start looking for a job that is in school hours.

[LittleBoysRock]

If I worked full-time it would hardly be worth it $$ wise after I paid for child care. Plus my DS will only be little once and I am the best carer for him. It makes sense all round for me to stay here with him and enjoy him.

I love being a SAHM. :p

[IAdoreYou]

It was an easy decision in the end here. I just couldn't part with brooke and she was never going to daycare. We always SEE the daycare teachers outside smoking at our local ones and that put us RIGHT off :mad: Mum would have quite happily looked after brooke if i was returning to part-time work though. I just can't seem to leave her. I love being a SAHM. I do get the guilts about spending money and not contributing anymore, though I will return to the workforce when Brooke goes to school. This "baby time" is really such a small part of life that I feel I don't want to miss one second :D

next?

[shed]

We have decided that I will be a SAHM if I want to. Once bubby is here I will see how I feel, but I am pretty sure I will be happy to be at home with him. We had decided on six months but then it changed to two years. After that I will probably want to go out to work part time, or maybe not.

Besides which, I do dog training in the weekends which brings in a lot of money for only a few hours work, and I also do some freelance design work which is also pretty well paid, so I am actually bringing in the bacon which gives me the freedom of choice to stay home and earn money.

I am very very grateful for this but it has taken me twenty years of hard slog to get to this earning point.

My mum was never home. She worked from when I was six months old. She has never been at home for us, even in the school holidays we had some teenager from the local high school looking after us. If we were sick at school we had to stay in the sick bay all day, and sometimes we were left at home on our own.

I hated it and its not something that has ever been an option for me, hence the waiting and working to get to this point. I was pretty determined!

I have three days left as a full time career woman and I can't wait to leave it all behind!

[kymmy]

For me, it was just felt like a natural thing to stay home to look after my children even as soon as I became pregnant with my first.
I love being able to stay home and be with my children.
They are only small for a short time.

[Rainbowbrite]

We decided i was going to be a sahm before we conceived :yes: We dont want others raising our baby. My DH never wants me to work unless i want to :smiliedance: & wants me to homeschool MJ :)

[Nan]

I envy all the mums out there that are able to stay home and look after their little ones. Its the hardest but most rewarding job in the world. Enjoy EVERY moment of it.. you dont know how lucky you are.

I do!!! I remind myself how lucky I am that my DH earns a good wage every day. I was drawn to your comment because I know not everyone has the choice to be a SAHM. I'm lucky I can be and that I even had the choice.
So, I guess that kinda asnwers the original question. I chose to because I could!!! I love my job as a teacher, but why would I possibly want to go back to it full time when I have such a goreous little princess who is growing faster than I can keep up with? For me, if I was working I'd miss too much.
Love,
Nan. xx

[Terrible2+1cutie]

I decided to be a SAHM because i didn't want any body else raising my kid, you miss all the milestones when you arent around. Also i dont think i would ever earn enough money to pay for day care and have extra money in my pocket.

Catherine

Mum to Blaze and Bailey

[mumma_jessy]

I decided to be a SAHM for a few reasons:

Because i wanted to bring my children up, not let someone else do it. Why have kids if your not the one raising them?

At this age they need 1 on 1 attention, and in childcare they just don't get that. I want my kids to have a solid foundation to start their lives on..

Financially if i went back to work we'd loose the government payment, and would only make an extra $50 a week after child care costs anyway!

Plus, i don't want to miss all those milestones, the cuteness!:p

[MumofMadd]

Me and DP never gave going back to work a thought as he grew up with his mum aslways around and i was/am a nanny and i have seen how it effects the children in some cases. I wouldn't change a thing i love being around and seeing my DS grow into a person and gain his own personality.

[chameleon]

My DH was the one who wanted me to stay home to look after DD. Of course I wanted to but didn't want him to have the burden of supporting us. We both grew up with our Mum's home so it was something we both really wanted. Of course if the money situation gets too tight I will probably go back to work a few days a week (hopefully not:fingerscrossed: )
I love spending all my time with my little girl!

[porridge]

Before I had Griff I was kind of thinking in the back of my mind that I would be going back to work... even though DH wanted me to stay home. Now that Griff is here, I couldn't imagine giving him to someone else to look after! Being a mother is such a high calling and an amazing experience.

My mum worked when we were little and she is encouraging me to stay home because you miss out on so much.

DH and I have talked about school as well (yeah, I know Griff is only 3.5 months old!) and I will probably home school him until grade 3.

I'm actually in the process of writing a letter of resignation at the moment (I'm a teacher on 12 month maternity leave). It's hard for a couple of reasons... I work at the same school I was a student at for 11 years, I did volunteer work and prac there through college and uni and have worked as a member of staff for 4 years. So it's a little bit sentimental!! I know it's a decision I have to make (and really a no brainer) but it's so final!!

anyway, sorry for the sook... I like being a SAHM and my DH prefers me being at home... it's just strange to think I won't be going back (at least not in the near future...)

:(

[Briannabear]

My Hubby and I chose for me to be a SAHM for several reasons, the main one being that we didnt want someone else raising our children. I dont want to miss out on their milestones.

I had a successful career in hairdressing prior to having my DD, but it just pales in significance compared to my role as a mother! Being a trade, I can always go back to it one day - but at this stage I have no plans to.

Initially we struggled going on one wage, but we'd much rather go without some things for the sake of spending time with our children. I have great respect for my DH being the sole provider, and I make sure he knows that! He always has a nice cooked meal to come home to, and I do the majority of the housework (which I think is fair).

It is a blessing to be in a position to be a SAHM, so I think its important we dont take it for granted. There's a heck of a lot of mothers who would love to be at home with their kids but are financially unable to (particularly single mums). :(

My mum stayed home with us, and I really appreciate the sacrifices she made to do so.

[BW Mom]

Sydney daycare prices are so insane (most people I know pay $80-100 per child per day) and there is no way i could cover that with after tax dollars. so we decided since we wanted kids close together we woudl push ourselves (and use savings to cover and financial shortfalls) and I woudl stay home for upwards of 4-5 years depending on how i felt about things. When the older one starts preschool/kindy I will re-evaluate if i WANT to fiond some part time work until younger dd gets to that preschool/kindy age.

sad state of affairs when daycare is beyond an option (and we have no family here so not an option either)

[spiritedfamily]

I never thought that there was any other way to raise children. I have always believed that if you have children then that decision bears the responsibility of caring for them as much as it is possible and particularly when they so young, then staying at home...was natural...no questions about it. We could probably do a little better financially if I worked but in the long term, our children's wellbeing is far more important than the extra holiday a year or being able to colour my hair every 6 weeks.

I believe each person is entitled to make their own decision and I also understand people make the best decision they can at the time so my opinions are not judgements on those that work but my own expectations on myself.

[Hokey Pokey]

Because that is why I had children in the first place, to raise them and love them until I felt ready to part with them. I am looking for part time work now, and I refuse to go full time until my youngest is in school full time.

[cmd'smum]

Ladies..... so good to see other mummies who don't think I'm silly for not going back to work....:o

I completely agree with what you are all saying....plus......we basically have the rest of our lives to work :rolleyes: I became a mum so I could stay home and raise my daughter...that has always been DH and my decision! I also agree that love is more important for a child than any toy, materialistic thing you could give them.

Being a SAHM is def more challening and rewarding than any job in my profession!

[Fitmumma]

We chose for me to be a SAHM for lots of reasons:)

1. Didnt want DD to have her primary carrers be from a child care center
2. The money it would cost to pay for child care would take up nearly all my pay anyway
3. I don't think I would have coped well having to leave DD in child care :D


:p

Me too, I cant stand the thought of complete strangers raising my children, just couldnt do it.

[Tulp]

I am choosing to be a SAHM. Both DH and I decided it will be best for our little one when he arrives. Neither of us want someone else caring for him. Nothing compares to the love of a parent. The foundation years are especially important and I want to be there full time for it.

[Sassi]

Hi Girls,

Congratulations to all of you who have been brave enough to make the decision that is right for your family, it isn't always easy. For those of you who have choosen to stay at home, be proud, the job you do is important, just do it to the best of your abilities.

To Mummy2alexandmary:




Please do not let these people who have put themselves before their kids worry or stress you out. Your a mum now and the best thing in life is rasiing these lil devils

How dare you suggest that those who choose to return to work are putting themselves before their kids. There are plenty of studies that show having 2 working parents creates a good role model for the family, and for me will allow me to give my children opportunities we couldn't otherwise afford.

It is up to each individual to work out what is best for their family, for some SAH mum or dad is best, for others it is not. Don't judge people for their individual decision, when they have worked out what is best for their family.

I will be returning to work 3.5 days a week when baby is 6 months. Whilst I would love to stay at home, this is the best decision for me and my family.

[Leez]

Funny story: my mum stopped working when she was pregs with my brother in the early 60's. Fast forward to the early 80's and I'm 13 years old, all my school friend's mothers work. Mum swears that I said to her 'god mum, its so embarrassing you don't work, everyone else's mother does, can't you get a job???" (what a ungrateful BRAT!!:o ) - so she did!! She's pretty much worked ever since.

I'm a SAHM because I don't think I could quite cope with sitting in my office, not knowing what is happening to Gracie and whose doing what to her - I'd end up with an ulcer from worry. When I get motivated I'm going to start up a practice from home so I can have the best of both worlds. My training allows me to do that so thats good.:thumbsup:

[razzle]

When I gave my letter stating how much leave I was taking to my boss, I said I wanted only 4 months mat leave, that turned into 8 months, then the full 12 months. About 2 weeks before my leave was finished I handed in my resignation.

I never intended on being a stay at home mum, I remember telling people that I'd be bored out of my brain after 4 months looking after a baby, and that I'd miss work and the challenges it presented. How wrong I was!! I swapped my challenges at work for new challenges at home. I never want to go back to work, and luckily for us, we can afford for me not to.

[Karstens Mum]

We decided to I would be a SAHM as we thought it would be best for our lil one. I was worried and sometimes I do still worry about not contributing financially. On the other hand like so many of you have said The thought of someone else looking after my baby, its not a good thought dats for sure. Not knowing what is going on and are they really taking care of him!!!!!

I have so many friends who have there lil ones' in day care and they are good well adjusted kids.
Then again with interest rates rising the way they are I may have to find a part time job. Scary stuff:D

[Mum&bubs]

I choose to be a SAHM because i would just miss my little one too much to be away from her :D When she goes to school though i will be working again. But at the moment i love staying at home with her.

[garfield]

I always want to be a SAHM. I really want to spend at least the first 5 years with my dd. I don't think I can trust anyone else to look after my dd (not even my own mother or MIL). Not to mention a stranger from childcare centre.

[bitty]

I guess the reason i am a sahm is because my DF and i truely belive that staying home is the best thing for the children and I really love it. With my eldest 2 i was either working part time or studying so they both had to go to child care and i regret that. Now i can fully give my attention to my family and to me at this point in my life that is the most important thing.:yes:

[MeeG]

i decided i would be for a little while but i want to start my career as well, im only young and still have so much i want to achieve so i think i'll wont go bak to work until shes 'atleast' 6 months jus so i can learn to be a mother before i go on to start a career, i want to be SAHM part time so i can bond and grow with her:hugs: