MIL: Would you be annoyed??

[JackzMumma]

Hi all,

Had a terrible nights sleep, I coughed the whole time, but at least DH woke up quite chipper and headed off to his weekend job:thumbsup:. I was sure I would have kept him awake all night.

Today the dreaded MIL and FIL arrive. Yesterday I warned them by SMS that we were ALL sick, even DH had a bit of a cold/flu. He gets better pretty quickly lucky bugger:rolleyes:. Anyway, I got no response, but not a surprise as I don't know if they can SMS very well. Anyway last night FIL calls DH, and let him know that the MIL is sick, but don't worry they'll still be down today, to celebrate DS1's birthday tomorrrow.

I'm sorry?????:confused: We're all sick, I warned her NOT to come. She's sick, but DON"T WORRY about HER???? So she's going to bring all her sickness with her and infect us with our already low immune systems, not to mention that I'm 36 weeks pregnant........but don't worry about her, she'll still be here????....HUH???....:confused:

Now if we were having a party for DS1, maybe I would understand, but we aren't doing anything other than baking a cake so he can blow out the candles. She didn't even give him a present, just gave me $30 to go buy it:rolleyes:.

Does anyone else see the irony in this?? Wouldn't you just wait til we were all better and celebrate it then?? I don't think DS1 would care if he had 2 cakes.

She just doesn't think about anyone else:no:.....ever. I don't feel like being a gracious host, I barely have a voice today. And they always insist on a kiss, which I can't stand, they think that a fake kiss on the cheek is still ok, even on a sick person, so I'm going to have to put my foot down on that the minute they walk in the door.

The sad thing is I'm powerless to stop it as it's her house we are living in. And to top it off she always expects it to be clean upon her arrival....well she can dream on.....or clean it herself.

Thanks for reading.

[Boobycino]

:hugs:

Can you get DH to call and ask them not to come because of all the reasons you just mentioned?

You're already sick, you have a low immune system, you're pregnant so you have a low immune system ( i was stil continually for the last few months of my pregnancy, its SO hard) and that it would be best for you and for their grandchild that you're carrying that they dont come and get you all sick again.

I think you have a very good explaination.

Personally if I couldn't get my DP to make that call I'd make it myself, you're 36 weeks pregnant and your a mum, you're main concern is your own health - its not at all selfish, because you're growing one tiny baby and raising another tiny baby! You've got such a huge job on your hands, that you need to take care of yourself first and foremost - so you can take care of your children.

Also, i HATE being asked for a kiss. My MIL does it every single time I see her. I hate it, hate it hate, I hate fake affection - and I hate being forced into it. It makes my skin crawl just thinking of it.

[Bubs'n'Roses]

Hey sorry you are all sick. I hope you feel better soon.

As for MIL sounds as though she is wound a bit tight. Blow off the cleaning you aren't well. If it bothers her that much she might do a tidy for you - yay free house cleaning. But seriously I'd be telling them as soon as the got their butts in the door there is no kissing of any of you. You may have different sicknesses and you don't want to be sicker.

Happy birthday to your son too. :)

[JackzMumma]

Also, i HATE being asked for a kiss. My MIL does it every single time I see her. I hate it, hate it hate, I hate fake affection - and I hate being forced into it. It makes my skin crawl just thinking of it.

:laughing: Maybe we should make a pact and tell them NO MORE FAKE AFFECTION!!! I cringe everytime I know "it's" coming *shivers*. Thanks for your reply. But unfortunately it's a dead end for me. DH has already stated our preferrence but she always fobs us off. She's one of those that thinks she's the queen and has to be in the centre of everything, and we are the loyal subjects that are ready and waiting to rub her feet:barf:. One Christmas we, as in DH's other sibling's families, were doing something different and they started carrying on about how they weren't having a Xmas this year because no-one wanted to be bothered with them, they were seriously carrying on like children. I was gobsmacked at the time:eek:. They couldn't care less about the fact that they have other sides of the family too, not just them:rolleyes:. My parents especially are 'hated' by my MIL. Everytime I mention a name they blatantly look away, start other conversations, or make a "I'm bored" face. So I stopped talking about my family.:(

DH just informed me that they aren't coming tonight anymore, but they are coming tomorrow still:gloomy:.

[JackzMumma]

Hey sorry you are all sick. I hope you feel better soon.

As for MIL sounds as though she is wound a bit tight. Blow off the cleaning you aren't well. If it bothers her that much she might do a tidy for you - yay free house cleaning. But seriously I'd be telling them as soon as the got their butts in the door there is no kissing of any of you. You may have different sicknesses and you don't want to be sicker.

Happy birthday to your son too. :)

Thankyou for the birthday wishes!!!

I did do the kitchen, dining and lounge, and now they aren't coming til tomorrow, at least we enjoy the cleanliness now:D, and I'm not doing anything else. The prob with free house cleaning is that with her it comes at a price. I appreciate anything she does but I don't ask her to do it:no:, but when she does do it, like for instance when she babysits, we walk in the door and straight away I cop "I did all your washing, put it in your room", "I tidyed the backyard, come have a look", "I cleaned out the laundry, it was really a mess, should do you for awhile though":ecomcity:, and I get a look of expectant praise. And the whole time I'm thinking, yeah ok, but did you at least feed the kids? Clothes them? Talk to them even??:hair: I ask her to babysit, not clean.

Thanks anyway for your reply. Wish me luck with the "non-kissing rule" tomorrow!!!:laughing:

[halloweenmum]

If you are 36 weeks pregnant and she comes around sick and you get sick from her, then you could very well go into labour being ill, since there is nothing stopping your baby coming from any day between right now and your due date. For that reason alone, your MIL should understand AND stay away. :hugs:

[Boobycino]

Oh no. Well... at least one more day without them is better than nothing...

I wish my inlaws hated my parents, they're always pestering to have them visit, or for me to bring them down, or to drop in when my parents are at my place. I live in Sydney and my mum lives in QLD and my dad lives in VIC - I'm not sharing any of the few precious moments I get with my parents with my horrible inlaws. No way. No how.

Also, I made the mistake of suggesting Christmas at my place last year, because I wasn't really wanting to travel with a 5 week old... but... NO that was insulting to my M&FIL and they carried on and said they wouldn't come :ecomcity: It was merely a SUGGESTION and it caused drama.

This Christmas I'm going to QLD and taking Jasper with me, they can enjoy their Christmas and I'll enjoy mine!

Goodluck tomorrow :hugs:

[JackzMumma]

Thanks Chel87:thumbsup:. My parents would kill me if I suggested Xmas all together:laughing:. They don't understand my MIL, or my FIL for putting up with her!!!

I tried appealing to DH again, and all he said was if it was our house then he'd put his foot down. He said that they have "this" over us:gloomy:. Thankfully we've nearly paid the car off and we can start saving towards the land we want.:yes: I even called mum for a chat and got all upset to her about the "kissing", she said that I'm like this because of her, and I said that it's not her fault, I like being this way:D. I just don't feel comfortable with people kissing me when I don't want them too. I don't want to sound mean, but I certainly don't love them, and I'm not even sure I like them, I tolerate them, and I'm not real good at that either. One time my SIL said "I love them, but sometimes...." I just said "Really? You love them?".:confused: I'm not sure if she knew how to take what I said.

[JackzMumma]

If you are 36 weeks pregnant and she comes around sick and you get sick from her, then you could very well go into labour being ill, since there is nothing stopping your baby coming from any day between right now and your due date. For that reason alone, your MIL should understand AND stay away. :hugs:

Thanks halloweenmum, this is exactly what I am worried about. But she couldn't care less. She just thinks the world revolves around her and DH says there's nothing we can do....short of starting a massive arguement.

[Stretchmark Diva]

Are you renting from your IL's, or living in their house for free? Reason being that you actually CAN refuse to let them in, even if they are your landlord - you have rights as a tennant to "peaceful enjoyment" of your home.

Boundaries - your MIL has none. :no: Be clear and calm and say "NO. That won't work for us." Being assertive doesn't mean being rude; you are allowed to stand up for yourself without the sky falling in. Just be calm and clear and keep it brief: don't make the mistake of giving reasons, justifications or excuses. You are not asking their permission. You are telling them how it is going to be.

Hope everyone feels better soon. :)

[sharonnscotty]

I have a short fuse, and for the most part manage to keep it under control.... but just one blow up (not even at them) and guess what.... no pushie ideas, no silly suggestions etc just a wide berth!!1 (not my current inlaws as they r great!) Maybe just loose it at her once, hey they'll come around eventually lol