being demanded to let ex see my daughter

[avanicolesmummy]

i am a young single mum who has just returned to work this week and have been recieving demanding emails all week stating that my daughter has to go to her fathers house (he lives with his parents) for the WHOLE weekend this weekend. i offered her to just go for one night and was told that wasnt good enough. he has a major drinking problem and uses drugs on occasion and recently assaulted me. and now just yesterday has come down with severe conjunctivitous. i dont want to send her over there for the WHOLE weekend when she is sick and will only want me.

what should i do

im so confused :confused:

[Bubs'n'Roses]

Is there a custody order or something in place that states she has to go there?

If she's sick, tell them straight out, not this weekend she's sick, she's got conjuctivitus. If they don't like it, tough titty. Doesn't sound like he's offering a nice comfortable safe environment for her even if she was well.

:hugs: Hope your little one feels better soon though.

[UsThreeGirls]

Who is doing the demanding?

[rosymum]

You don't have to do anything unless there is some sort of order in place... ? They can't just make you do this because of some sort of random email

[avanicolesmummy]

there is no court order in place and its his mum doing the demanding

[pennylane]

If theres no custody order in place stating shes meant to be there this weekend,you can keep her home and do what you feel is right and no-one can do crap so dont worry about any empty threats she throws around,Your her mother and as her primary care-giver what you say goes.No one in their right mind will argue your reasons anyway.

[Mkhat]

It sounds awful but make sure you keep copies of the e-mails esp if they are aggressive or abusive and keep copies of your replies. Document phone calls etc. as it is all information that you can use if you have to go for court orders.
Good Luck and Virtual Hugs

[Sammy76]

:eek: Nope nope nope :eek: No way would I let my child be put in an environment where they may be drug use and reckless care of your child.

Seriously, please don't do it. There are no orders in place. If they want it, let em take you to court.

Your job is to be the main carer for your child.

Please think about it.

It makes me mad that they make demands when they are no orders in place, and their son may use drugs or be drunk around your daughter.

I would seriously not do it.

People may argue that he is the father, but really, your childs safety is more important!!!!

[Sammy76]

It sounds awful but make sure you keep copies of the e-mails esp if they are aggressive or abusive and keep copies of your replies. Document phone calls etc. as it is all information that you can use if you have to go for court orders.
Good Luck and Virtual Hugs

that is NOT awful. It is necessary. What is awful is a father possibly being drugged out whilst looking after his daughter :no:

[pennylane]

just say No and if they want to take it further let them,at their expense.My dad recently took his ex to court after she refused to return my 9 year old brother who was in my fathers care 90% of the time (there was no court order but he's always been with my dad,shes a severe alcoholic,drug user and mentally unstable) and even though the courts could see she was a nutter and my brother was safer with my dad it still took 3 months and 10 grand to get the recovery order and subsequent custody agreement in place so they better be prepared for that and anyway from what youve written theyve got no chance at getting any major rights or say in your DD's life.

[spoon]

You do not even need to reply to the mother. Can youblock her from sending you emails? Big hugs hunny, stay strong and dont be intimidated by her. She has no say in this.:hugs:

[BlakeNatsMum]

OH heck no!.. I wouldn't be giving into them and doing that, especially with the fathers history of alcohol and drugs. I wouldn't DARE take your child there... Just tell them nope, no way, sorry!...

[avanicolesmummy]

im not going to send her over there

and like everyone has said if they want to take it further than thats up to them

thanks everyone for being so supportive

i spoke to legal aid this morning and they said that parents need to work out an arrangement thats best for the child and i think being home with me when she is sick is best for her :)

[Mum2Bug]

I agree with everyone else. NO NO NO and NO, and keep copies of those emails hun. They may just come in handy later on.

Good luck with it all! :hugs:

[Mum2Tyla]

i agree with everyone else I would not be sending her if she is sick especially for a whole weekend, and if he drinks and does drug he would'nt be seeing her without supervision, you dont owe him or his aprents anything especially if he ahs been violent to you before, dont let his mum intimidate you, be strong and do the right thing for your little girl.

[Bubmum]

I find FOB's family quite hard to deal with...and prefer to deal with him, rather than them, so I know where you are coming from. Time and time again, my DD's Lola only thinks of what she wants, and not what is best for DD. You need to be strong, and step in, and ensure that your DD is in the best position she can be in.
Does she see them much ordinarily,or has this demand come out of the blue? Good luck...and stay strong. :hugs: