is this bad for her

[nat28]

DD is 3 and is ready for toilet training, however she is petrified of the toilet and potty. If I put undies, a pull up or a cloth nappy on her she holds on until i put a disposable on her, I have just started using mcn's and put one on her today at mums at 4pm, at 6pm she said she had a sore tummy, we got home and at about 745 i changed her into a disposable for bed, within 30 seconds of putting it on her, the nappy was full. Is holding on going to do her any damage? I know that she has good bladder control as there have been days where she has stayed dry for ages. I dont want to use disposables anymore but i dont want her to be uncomfortable all day. at the moment im not really going to push the tt, but would like her day trained before this bubs arrives in december

what are your thoughts?

[BabelFish]

What is it that has made her frightened of the loo / potty? That seems to me the place to start - working on that - rather than changing nappies etc for now.

[nat28]

nothing has happened to make her scared, anything new or different seems to scare her. I also think that she is scared of failure/accidents. last week she had undies on and had 4 accidents. I just cleaned her up and got her cleaned up and she chose what she wanted to wear, i didnt get cross with her or seem dissapointed, made it as fun as possible and said maybe next time we will get there in time, we will just keep trying. The one time that she did use the potty she was so proud of herself and called my parents to tell them.

[Hollywood]

nothing has happened to make her scared, anything new or different seems to scare her. I also think that she is scared of failure/accidents. last week she had undies on and had 4 accidents. I just cleaned her up and got her cleaned up and she chose what she wanted to wear, i didnt get cross with her or seem dissapointed, made it as fun as possible and said maybe next time we will get there in time, we will just keep trying. The one time that she did use the potty she was so proud of herself and called my parents to tell them.

Sounds like you're going about it the right way, with how you handle accidents. Also, remember to really tell her what a big girl she is and remind her that nappies are for babies, and that she's not a baby anymore, she's a big girl.

When DS was TTing using the 3 day TT program I made a big deal of saying what a big boy he is and he loved that, he was so proud of himself :D

[Boobycino]

Kiddies are sometimes just a bit nervous about the toilets. I think sometimes its a bit of being self-conscious. They're learning a new skill and dont want to get it wrong - I gues she might feel how I would feel public speaking! I dont want to make a fool of myself!

Your doing great, lots of praise, lots of assurance, its all good!

And I heard from a Dr that you (anyone, children and adults) will wet themselves before doing any damage from holding it. I think on the simpsons Grandpa's kidneys exploded from holding on too long, but I dont think that Simpsons is based on fact!

I think No2s are a bit different and she needs to stay 'regular' in that respect. But wees i think are fine.

Has she seen you sit on the toilet and do a wee? We already have an 'open door policy' on weeing, so bubby gets to see that its normal and comfortable. And in a few years we'll have to teach him to shut the door, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

[Hollywood]

oh, and if you're ever worried (and you're at home), put her in the shower for a couple of minutes, there's no way she will be able to hold on any longer.