concerns for kids

[Butterfly Mummy]

I have concerns for a friends children.

They have 4 aged 9 months to 5 years old.

They have had problems with all children health wise I believe due to not being fed properly etc.

The youngest 9 months still in NB nappies weighs under 5kg he is tiny and when I look after him all he does is cry So I feed him and he eats more than my kids ever did (which I think is because he is sooo hungry) he is only give 250ml of milk(prescription formula) a day not nearly enough for what should be a growing baby and is not given the right foods. To eat they fed him sausages potato salad tacos lasange basically what they eat (but not how I would do it for a baby) he is treated like he is a elder child.
When I have him I feed him what I have (apparantly he has allergies although never proven by specialist) he was literally grabbing for the food before I had even mashed the vegies up he at the whole bowel it was like he had never eaten before. They did not leave me with any milk for him and I felt like giving him the formula I had in the cupboard but was affraid the eldest would dob on me if I did this. when he is taken to the MCH nurse she feeds him before so as he has put on weight.

The second youngest was also like this and was put in hospital as they had said she was not eating but when in hospital she ate fine because it was monitored by the staff. Now all she does is eat apparantly she has allergies to things but they feed her these things on occasions. A big deal is made if we have to feed them but I have noticed if they are feeding them they will ignore apparantly the advice of doctors (which either causes problems for the child or is a lie to make a problem with the child).

The second eldest is craving love she clings to any adult as soon as she can when we are out with others (especially women) She feels unloved by her parents I try to give her love because I feel for her it makes me really sad. She is always spanked by the parents especially her mother and put outside in the cold for timeout.

The eldest he started school way too soon he has speech dificulties and being a boy boys are always slower he is really struggling at school with both work and making friends (i think he is too young) but the parents forced him into school so they did not have to pay for day care for another year he also never went to a kinder program and the MCHNurse said he should be kept back as well as the speech therapist. As a result he is suffering from it. Although he has occasional speech therapy he does not get the one on one with either of his parents to work on his speech like I do with my child who has speech problems.

They are all always hungry I feed them as much as I have at my house that they can be fed but I never have enough. I dont know why the doctors have not seen the pattern with all the children. ANd why nothing has been done about it.

Daycare have also noticed the problem which really saddens me. They regulary go to their inlaws or parents house to be looked after to give them a break for week or more at a time. They are also in day care 3-4 days a week.

They always have snot running down their noses its horrible even in summer they are like this. If they go out they are never dressed right the parents are dressed for the season but the kids are not especially the baby who is tiny but never has a hat or jacket on and never has a blanket on when in a pram outside.

I dont know what do if I do something then Im a horrible person not a friend. I do every thing I can for them but they need to pick up their act.

[Myztiks#1Fan]

i think where you have said you dont want to feel like a horrible person, do the right thing and call DOCS. you know in your heart its the right thing to do.

so please do the right thing and get help for these children. they honestly need it.

[Miss_N]

:hugs:'s! It sounds like you have been a GREAT friend to them! Caring for their children. Looking out for their children's needs as well as your own.

I have a foster child in my class (IM a teacher) who sounds exactly like the second eldest. She CRAVES my attention and loves just being around me. Standing over my desk, sitting as close to me as possible etc.

If I were in your position I would report them to child welfare. I couldnt live with myself watching 4 children being neglected. Perhaps their parents dont realise it is neglect but thats what I see it as.

It breaks my heart to see how much the foster child in my class has been effected by emotional and physical abuse and neglect! She is the sweetest child and just wants to be loved! If I were able to give another child/children a better life (by reporting their situation) I would in a heartbeat! :yes:

[mumof2brats]

:hugs:i agree with the above post's:hugs:

[Butterfly Mummy]

I spoke to a social worker and they said that if they come and do a check they would most likley find that they are ok. As there is no proof even though the youngest has failed to thrive. And they would find that there is food in the cupboard and they are fed etc.

IT really saddens me that nothing can be done about it.

[PinkBinkie]

That is so sad, I feel really sorry for those kids. Good on you for being there for them and helping out. I can't imagine how emotionally draining it would be for you. It worries me that the children's doctors/nurses/teachers etc haven't picked up on the pattern and haven't done anything about it. The 9mth old sounds really underweight :no: I would seek some advice, even call lifeline or a similar organisation and explain what is going on even if just to get a second opinion.

[kiki07]

Is the social worker a child protection worker? Does she know the family and has she done a home visit?

There are many things that child protection (DOCS) can do to assist a family apart from removing the kids. They can link the parents in with resources in the community and offer advice or services.

A home visit can allow for proper assessment and allow for the parents to talk about the areas that they think they need help with, as well as to assess if the kids are in danger.

If you are worried, please make a call.

[FionaV]

If you're concerned, make a report.

[BabelFish]

I spoke to a social worker and they said that if they come and do a check they would most likley find that they are ok. As there is no proof even though the youngest has failed to thrive. And they would find that there is food in the cupboard and they are fed etc.

IT really saddens me that nothing can be done about it.
That might be true - but I know that if a social worker visited my house that it would scare me into perhaps making some changes. It's worth the report, even if you don't think it will go anywhere... you poor thing, you must be eaten up inside worrying about these poor babies.