View Full Version : How has it impacted you?
After going through a "birth trauma" how has it impacted you in regards to having more children?? Has it impacted you for better or worse?? Are you frightened or has it made you feel stronmger for next time?
i considered my birth to be a trauma because it was so long and one of the midwives I had was a total cow.
I honestly don't think I will have anymore because of my experiance but who knows
I would love more children, however after my experiences I am very hesitant to go back. If I was to have another it would be a homebirth. No male obs for me!!!!!!!
the first few weeks we were both very scared to have more, but I refuse to live in fear! And we're trying for #2 and are both very confident, I have concerns but I am coping and dealing with it.
It is a fairly large part of why I will never have more children.
I think my son had a traumatic birth, for me it was bad but not life scaring iykwim
He suffered more than i did and even though it was hard watching him go through all that I actually felt very calm and at peace the whole time and knew he would be ok.
At first i was like "Im not doing that again" LOL but after about a year i realised i could do it again no problems not to sound cocky but i reckon i did a pretty good job last time:thumbsup: under the circumstances and next time i will do alot of things differently:yes:
So nope it hasnt stopped me from wanting more.....im pg again after all:D
I have always said i want more & said this even 2wks after Boof's birth but in reality when it comes down to it im petrified !
The idea of 9mths of m/s again combined with birth makes my head spin but more than likely i will have no choice & be told to have a c/s anyways. But i still freak because then thats the unknown.
Plus not only am i scared but DP is a nervous wreck over the idea of me going through it all again as he said the fact he could have lost both of us in that instant freaked him out.
He is more confident when i talk about the next bub being a c/s but is still fairly wary of it all as much as he wants more kids.
We have also talked about the idea of adopting or fostering if thats what we feel is best.
I'm definately going to have more kids, my experience taught me to be more assertive with my care and birth plan next time - and to make sure that its actually obeyed (I had a birth plan - I don't think a single person read it.)
I will also be more pro-active with my postpartum care.
I just need to overcome my PND before I can consider bringing another child into this environment.
I hated every minute of my birth- very short labour, very full on and minimal breaks in contractions, dr wouldn't give me the damn drugs i was screaming for, large baby, massive tearing, general shock and denial about the whole labour process.
Not ever ever going there again- it has totally changed my view and I commend those women who have more than one birth- me i won't go back not unless they figure out how to make the baby morph out. lol
But i do miss the tummy kicks, i do miss the feeling my bub grow, i do miss little tiny newborn snuggles....
i dont think i will EVER get over my labour, both me and tyler almost died,, i have never loved anyone as much as i love tyler but after she was born i had to stop myself from hating her, IM NOT A BAD MOTHER..... because every time i looked at her i could feel the pain i when through... i dont think i will ever have kids again
everyone keeps telling me i will forget in time,, so who know tyler is almost 10months but i never through labour would be easy but i never through it would be so hard and mess with your head so much
I definatley want more and we will be ttc early next year. :fingerscrossed:
I've had a hard time convincing dh to have more, he's terrified of losing me and has told me he couldn't do it without me, but he finally came around. (I thought he was overbearing with my last pregnancy, I can't imagine what he will be like with the next one. :rolleyes: )
I am scared..........but I loved being pregnant and I love newbies. As horrible expierience as it was, the end product is so worth it. :)
I have alot of confidence in my doctors and next time we will both know what to look for as a warning sign. The hardest part is, because it is such a rare condition(HELLP syndrome), no one really knows what causes it or the chance of reoccurence, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.
our little man is 2 now and its taken this long to even contemplate doing it again. I also went through months of 'hating' him for what he did to me and what i ended up going through because of the emergency c/s. But realised eventually that it wasn't his fault and turned to blaming myself....etc etc. Now would LOVE to have another and would definitely be an elective c/s. Think a lot of the reasons for wanting another are to try to 'heal' and 'retrieve' a lot of the things i missed first time round due to being 'out of it' (missed his entry into the world, missed seeing him first, missed hearing him, missed holding him, MISSED EVERYTHING!). But at the same time not sure if I want to do this as feel guilty for the possibility of sharing all those firsts that I missed with my ds with another baby. I think the mind starts working overtime and the more thought that goes into it the deeper the hole gets. Still not convinced.
I have posted both Eithne and Declan's birth stories in the forum. It took me 4 years to even consider getting pregnant again. Declan's pregnancy was wonderful but the last week and his delivery :thumbsdown: . I believe everyone needs to do what is right for them, whether that be a VB, VBAC, elective caesar. What I want people to gain from my experience is to question everything and to be assertive. You are employing them and it is your body and your birth. I am very angry at myself that I wasn't more assertive about the caesar they forced me to have with Declan and none of my wishes were followed.
I get angry with myself too... instead of sitting back and crying I should have been strong and put my foot down. But I think I have learnt now that I won't let that ever happen again.
After going through a "birth trauma" how has it impacted you in regards to having more children?? Both my husband and I wanted 2 or 3 children, but we are unsure if we will be going back for seconds.
Has it impacted you for better or worse?? I think in someways its worse, I feel overawed still at times, but in other ways its made me feel strong about myself. I went thru it all, Steven went thru it with me, we were strong, our love is strong, and we survived it!
Are you frightened or has it made you feel stronger for next time? I'm terrified of getting pregnant again, but I know that in all honesty I will probably want to try for another one in a year or so. Steven on the other hand is 99.9% sure we will not have more children, he said he is too scared of loosing me or our baby if we try again.
hi everyone...i'm new to bubhub and love it. i've been reading other people's 'horror stories'. well done to all of you for putting them out there, this is a huge step to take and is really important for healing...doing it in such a supportive and understanding environment like bubhub makes it so much more worthwhile.
i am due to give birth in november for the second time, after much careful consideration i will have a cs. my first experience seven years ago was horrendous-truly. the more i think about it , the more i realise just how lucky we are to be here. but it has taken me this long to have another go...and can you believe i am still very scared? i don't want to go into all the details of the birth, suffice to say it resulted in an emergency cs, sick baby, wound infection and psychological damage and that's just the end result. one of the many negligent aspects of my treatment included an epidural that was allowed to become dislodged, therefore, rendered ineffective. not real flash when you are on the table for emergency surgery with a system full of syntocinin, even though i have decided to have a cs this time i am afraid of the epidural, anxious about the surgery and the way we will be managed post operatively. having flashbacks is a normal part of the post traumatic experience and being frozen in the panic of that moment really emphasises the intensity of the trauma faced. i guess on the upside i am a lot more assertive all round and feel confident in the decisions i make, for example, not feeling as though i have to justify why i want a cs etc. but yeah...everyone who has had awful experiences is quite right to feel angry, bitter, fear, depression etc. even if our baby's are healthy and alive. thanks for reading.
I do want more children, I absolutely loved every day of being pregnant (I'll do the pregnancy bit if someone else does the birth for me!)
But the way things are going I don't know if I'll be able to have sex again let alone conceive!
If I do, Dr has advised it will have to be c/s.
I want another...but at the same time, I'm so scared.
I kind of want another baby EVEN MORE than I did prior to my first birth, because I now want to PROVE to myself that my body CAN go into labour and do what it's meant to do.
I also DON'T want to have another baby, because I know I'll probably be so depressed if I can't have a VBAC, and see it as another failure. I really don't want to put myself through that...but I guess I'm willing to risk it.
I think I'll just get pregnant (when I'm ready)...and then just freak out all pregnancy. Because even if I'm scared...the baby HAS to come out some way or another...lol.
Hi Jojo and best of luck :fingerscrossed: :wave:
mum2paige, just wandering how come you don't think you can have sex again?
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