Residential Custody orders?

[bAaM]

After a very stressful week last week of My DS being with his father and not being able to contact them then having his father drop him home HOURS late, and a trip to the police station to be told there was nothing that could be done cause there where no court orders in place I have contacted legal aid and have an appointment on Wednesday to put in an application so his visitation is orded.

Can someone tell me what form I need to download off the family court website to take to legal aid?
It just needs to state the conditions of his visitation for him to sign.

[~Candy~]

My hubby and I are seperated ATM and I refused to let him leave the house with the kids untill he signed an agreement stating he WILL RETURN them ON TIME ALL THE TIME. As he took 2 away from me once...and as you were told by the police..there is NOTHING they can do.

So, I typed up our own agreement...printed it..he signed it, I signed it..we took it to legal aid and from there, it became a legal document :thumbsup:

Sorry I can't help you with your ques..but if you BOTH can come to an agreement...this is an alternitive way :)

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

:( Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I would give legal aid a call and see what they say.
I hope you get it sorted out soon.

[shannon74]

ok first you have to goto legal aid and get accessed to make shure you are eligible for funding ..

then after all that legal aid will give you a lawyer somewhere in your area ,usually a firm that takes legal aid cases

then to get to that stage can take as long as 6 months.. so it does take time..

[shannon74]

and i dont want to be rude but i am a father and at least he is bringing the children back , and i do the same thing to my ex as she badges me constanlty so i turn my phone off so i can spend some quality time with my children , if his a caring dad let him spend the extra time with the kids.

you need to go to court and come to a arrangment that can be documented ,

then if the order is broken you breach him which again takes times.

[bAaM]

Umm ok then.

I hadnt called all week then tried once and he turned his phone off cause he was somewhere that I told him NOT to take DS due to it being unsafe.

He is a drug user and very violent to his girlfriends (to the point he was put in prison a few years ago)

It wont go to court cause i am not taking it to court. I am just going to type up an agreement that he is ONLY to take him to his parents house and DS is not to leave there unless it is with one of his parents or it is for him to be brought home. Ifhe doesnt like it he can take me to court. For 6 years I have let go all the crap he has put both myself and DS through and after what he did last week it is either my way or HE can take me to court.

[shannon74]

and i forgot to add having court orders doesnt mean the police can order the children back off him if his late they cant force him as its a federal matter , all the can do is speak to him..

[Missbella]

Just making your own agreement will not make it legal UNLESS it goes to court. This doesn't mean you have to appear in court unless you cannot agree on the terms. If he breaches the agreement in any way shape or form, you can take him back to court and he will either be warned, fined (possibly heavily) and in some cases jailed. The orders can be varied if they are breached more than once, and with good reason, he be given only supervised visits. Please do whatever you feel is right for your children, so many children are hurt and even killed by the very people they trust, I don't mean to sound so serious, I just can't stress how important it is to make our children safe even if it has to be from their own parents.

[Pax]

ok first you have to goto legal aid and get accessed to make shure you are eligible for funding ..

then after all that legal aid will give you a lawyer somewhere in your area ,usually a firm that takes legal aid cases

then to get to that stage can take as long as 6 months.. so it does take time..


and i dont want to be rude but i am a father and at least he is bringing the children back , and i do the same thing to my ex as she badges me constanlty so i turn my phone off so i can spend some quality time with my children , if his a caring dad let him spend the extra time with the kids.

you need to go to court and come to a arrangment that can be documented ,

then if the order is broken you breach him which again takes times.


and i forgot to add having court orders doesnt mean the police can order the children back off him if his late they cant force him as its a federal matter , all the can do is speak to him..

What do you mean "At least he is bringing the children back"

He should bring them back on time!

If he wants longer time with the children, how about calling and asking and not stressing the mother out?

You may want quality time with your children, but if you dont want their mother harping down the phone in panic mode, then its best to organise things ahead of time or at the least call and be polite.

i just think to say at least he brings them back is pretty lame. :no:

[c38]

BAam I'm sorry you were treated like this:no: I hope legal aide can help you sort it soon.



What do you mean "At least he is bringing the children back"

He should bring them back on time!

If he wants longer time with the children, how about calling and asking and not stressing the mother out?

You may want quality time with your children, but if you dont want their mother harping down the phone in panic mode, then its best to organise things ahead of time or at the least call and be polite.

i just think to say at least he brings them back is pretty lame. :no:

I agree. A caring father doesn't go out of his way to cause the mother of his children stress and anxiety. A caring father knows how much a parent stresses if they don't know that their child is safe. i.e.If they are told the plan is that they will be back by a certian time, but then they aren't and there is no contact. A caring father (as does a caring mother) works WITH the mother to create as stress free environment as possible for their child/ren. Turning your phone off, and not contacting the other parent to say you will be later then expected is rude and disrespectful. It's terrible behaviour to be modeling for/to your child/ren.


BAam he had no right to treat you like that:shame:

[kezzaskids]

Do you have parenting consent orders in place at all?? If not ( and this is what you are asking) I sat down and typed up all of the things I wanted ie where the child was to live, who has day to day responsibilitiy, visitation stating where and when, long term responsibilty for deciding on schooling etc and child support. I then signed it and had it witnessed by a jp, FOB signed it and had it witness and then it was filed at the family law courts and that was it. If FOB didnt agree to the consent orders then it would have had to go to court and mediation.
HTH

[shannon74]

What do you mean "At least he is bringing the children back"

He should bring them back on time!

If he wants longer time with the children, how about calling and asking and not stressing the mother out?

You may want quality time with your children, but if you dont want their mother harping down the phone in panic mode, then its best to organise things ahead of time or at the least call and be polite.

i just think to say at least he brings them back is pretty lame. :no:




you no what i have orders in place i have about 40% time. i cop numeous amount of crap off my ex , i have 2 kids 7 and 10 she wont leave me alone to have time with my children . She tells me what to feed them, what to do if there sick , trys to con them back into coming home early , i dont dress them warm enough theres always something shes coming up with to annoy me.

i get sick off it im 34 years old i know how to look after my children i have been doin it for 5 years on my own , im treated like a idiot!!
so i turn my phone of to have 5 mins peace and quiet!!!!!

i betcha 5 $ if he rang up and asked for extra time you wouldnt give it to him thats why he brings the kids back later , there is 2 sides to every story!!

[crazymuma]

Yes there are two sides to every story but I personally don't think this case is the same as yours shannon. Their are great dads out their that do the right thing and when we talk about custody on this sight you have to remember that alot of us aren't dealing with the average man - someone that is a good father and knows how to take care of his kids - **** I personally would be thrilled if my ex could be more like you.:yes:

Sorry but one thing I have to know is if he is a drug user, and is violent what the hell are you doing sending your kids with him for a week.

Be careful because if he takes you to court and you try and say he is a violent drug addict - and you can prove it - then you will just make yourself look bad in front of the judge for allowing your children to be put in danger. If he is truly a violent drug user then take him to court and have the courts order that his parents must suoervise visits - that way at least you know that they have to be there and your children will be safe.
Sorry but I had to say that.

When you do up your plan just make sure you put into it certain days and times for phone calls - this way if he won't allow you the call then he is breaching his order.

[Pax]

you no what i have orders in place i have about 40% time. i cop numeous amount of crap off my ex , i have 2 kids 7 and 10 she wont leave me alone to have time with my children . She tells me what to feed them, what to do if there sick , trys to con them back into coming home early , i dont dress them warm enough theres always something shes coming up with to annoy me.

i get sick off it im 34 years old i know how to look after my children i have been doin it for 5 years on my own , im treated like a idiot!!
so i turn my phone of to have 5 mins peace and quiet!!!!!

i betcha 5 $ if he rang up and asked for extra time you wouldnt give it to him thats why he brings the kids back later , there is 2 sides to every story!!



Ya know! all that stuff i bolded above I would say to my DH and to my ex DH regarding all my kids. perspective is important when dealing with Ex's. Yes your ex should try to trust you, but also understand this is typical mother behaviour. Rather than hating her for it, perhaps try to be grateful your children have a good mum that cares deeply for them. You could have kids who's mother is pathetic.

I am absolutely beside myself when my kids were out of my site. Just like for you when your kids are not with you, you worry. She is the same and perhaps deals with it inappropriately. Just try to understand she is mothering the only way she knows how..

And dont take it personally, I think most mothers are the same. Its not so much a reflection on your fathering but more so on Mum fretting.

[krystle08]

you dont have to actually take anything to legal aid for your first appt., just your id, healthcare card, payslips etc and they will assess if you're eligible. If you are they will give you a solicitor, it may be someone in house at legal aid or an external solicitor.

from there, if you and your ex have reached an agreement (?) you will need to file an application for consent orders and a typed set of orders, the application is a pretty long document, you have to fill out all your details, details of the kids etc and a set of orders. you both sign the docs and file with the court. If the court agrees that the orders are fair and in the best interest in the children, they will approve them and return the orders to you, they are then legally binding.

if you dont agree, you wil have to file an application with the court, if you want to get things started yourself, download the initiating application from the fmc.gov.au website, you should probably file in the federal magistrates cout and not the family court as this is usually for more complex cases. the application just needs to state what you want. your ex will then file a response stating what he wants and then its up to the court. you will also need to file an affidavit giving a history of your relationship, concerns for the kids etc. keep in mind it can take up to two years or more to get to a trial if you cant agree in the meantime.

just so you know, once you get orders made (either by consent or by the court), if your ex doesnt return the kids on time, the I police still can't do anything to get them back for you. they will have to stay with him and you will have to file an urgent application with the court for a recovery order. if the judge grants the recovery order and he still doesn't return the kids, then the AFP can go and get them.

hope that helps, good luck with legal aid, the solicitor should be able to give you some better guidance. (if you can i would try to get an external solicitor and not someone in house at legal aid)

[bAaM]

i betcha 5 $ if he rang up and asked for extra time you wouldnt give it to him thats why he brings the kids back later , there is 2 sides to every story!!

I am going to explain the situation in short just so you can maybe realise that for 1 I am not your ex and a possesive bi@tch and 2 that not all dads are perfect.

How dare you assume that I wouldnt allow it to happen, For 8 years I have played his games of coming in and out of my Sons life. I have NEVER ever stopped him from seeing and spending time with our son. Since he was 9 months old the conditions of me NOT dragging it through court where as long as he had our son at his parents house where exdp actually lives. But because of his lifstyle he doesnt stay there very often. It has never been a problem until he got his current girlfriend and she has been at him. Now while he was no contactable he was 1 and a half hours away with no car or phone staying with his drug addict girlfriend (whom has had her own child taken of her cause of neglect) So how the hell do you thing I felt knowing where he was and the environment he was in. I am 8 months pregnent and didnt need more stress. NORMALLY he would call and ask and I would say YES but he didnt even have the decentcey to call to let me know my child was ok and safe when he was late and none contactable.




Sorry but one thing I have to know is if he is a drug user, and is violent what the hell are you doing sending your kids with him for a week.

Be careful because if he takes you to court and you try and say he is a violent drug addict - and you can prove it - then you will just make yourself look bad in front of the judge for allowing your children to be put in danger. If he is truly a violent drug user then take him to court and have the courts order that his parents must suoervise visits - that way at least you know that they have to be there and your children will be safe.
Sorry but I had to say that.

When you do up your plan just make sure you put into it certain days and times for phone calls - this way if he won't allow you the call then he is breaching his order.

This was what has been happening since his father and his family have been involved in his life we all agreed to his parents having DS at there house so it doesnt need to go through court and we where all happy with it and have done it for years. Its only now he has a new girlfriend that hates me cause i have a vagina:rolleyes:
But his parents are on side with me so he wont fight it. I am not going to change anything I just want it legal so he knows he cant just do what he wants and take him anywhere he wants without talking to me or his parents first. He may be an adult yes but he has stuffed up and dont some horrid things so he needs to prove he can provide what DS needs before I will allow him to take him alone.


you dont have to actually take anything to legal aid for your first appt., just your id, healthcare card, payslips etc and they will assess if you're eligible. If you are they will give you a solicitor, it may be someone in house at legal aid or an external solicitor.

from there, if you and your ex have reached an agreement (?) you will need to file an application for consent orders and a typed set of orders, the application is a pretty long document, you have to fill out all your details, details of the kids etc and a set of orders. you both sign the docs and file with the court. If the court agrees that the orders are fair and in the best interest in the children, they will approve them and return the orders to you, they are then legally binding.

if you dont agree, you wil have to file an application with the court, if you want to get things started yourself, download the initiating application from the fmc.gov.au website, you should probably file in the federal magistrates cout and not the family court as this is usually for more complex cases. the application just needs to state what you want. your ex will then file a response stating what he wants and then its up to the court. you will also need to file an affidavit giving a history of your relationship, concerns for the kids etc. keep in mind it can take up to two years or more to get to a trial if you cant agree in the meantime.

just so you know, once you get orders made (either by consent or by the court), if your ex doesnt return the kids on time, the I police still can't do anything to get them back for you. they will have to stay with him and you will have to file an urgent application with the court for a recovery order. if the judge grants the recovery order and he still doesn't return the kids, then the AFP can go and get them.

hope that helps, good luck with legal aid, the solicitor should be able to give you some better guidance. (if you can i would try to get an external solicitor and not someone in house at legal aid)

I spoke to legal aid on Friday and they told me what you just did. They have also allowed me to go to an external solicitor without going into legal aid cause have some issues with travel at the moment and as long as I am eligable I can stay with that solicitor. But thank you for letting me know this is the info I was wanting.


Thank you to everyone else for your support I havent heard from him since last weekend and will wait till his mother comes back from perth to make contact so there is no more rows between ex and myself.