View Full Version : ex- in laws dont call my son?
i know this can hurt and the only thing i could sujest is ring them and see if they would like to see him let them know that u wont them in his life
Maybe they aren't quite sure how the whole situation would work and they are waiting for a cue from you as to how to procede.
I'd take the card as a signal that they are thinking of their grandson (perhaps they are aware that their son does not see his boy and were hoping that the card would prompt him to do so - ie a nudge in the right direction).
If you do want them in your son's life this is what you could do....
I'd write them a note - thanking them for the birthday card and confirming that their grandson received it. Explain that as it came through the ex that you weren't sure if they had your contact details. Let them know your address and phone number. Write that it's been a while since he's seen them and suggest that they would be welcome to visit. Suggest a time - -perhaps a sunday afternoon in two weeks time ? let them know that you look forward to hearing from them. Inclose a recent photo of their grandson.
Before they visit organise some recent artwork made by your son and write to Grandma & Grandpa Love (name) and the date on it. Have your son give it to them when they arrive.
If you do all that - the ball is officially in their court - you have been pleasent, open and welcoming - they know that they are welcome and have your details. The rest is up to them.
Best of luck - I hope it all turns out well.
I have the same problem with my FIL's wife, My DH's step mother, i never really understood what evil was until i met this lady, we are both on agreence that we dont like each other, which puts DH in a hard spot, but i dont want to have my son around that type of person, and with the things that she has said about me and my DS, there is no way in the world that i am going to give her the satifiscation of having contact with my DS.
Sorry to rant in ur thread, but my point is this..
They are the ones that are losing out in the long run, they miss out on the joy your son has brought to not only you, but everyone you know, and the world.
You get to enjoy that everyday, they dont want to take part? Then fine, u can do it on ur own, and you dont need to feel like you have to contact them, if they arent contacting you, and dont want to see your son, their grandson, then they miss out.. dont let it get you down, hunni.
Hope it all works out...
Ok, obviously there are some other issues with contact going on. But as to your ex-in laws phoning your son.... maybe your son is different but my 2.5 year old DD won't talk on the phone. She listens, and looks at it, but doesn't talk. So I know it's quite disappointing for her grandparents to talk to her and doesn't last more than a minute. DD doesn't get anything out of it. She knows it's her grandparents voice, but it's not the same as seeing them.
So maybe don't stress too much over the phone calls or lack of it, and work on getting him included in more personal meetings. That is, if you think it is worth the effort. It may not be from what you've said.
This might sound harsh,but from the way your ex-inlaws are acting,I wouldnt bother with them.
Your son isnt going to know any different if he never sees them.Its their loss!
I wouldnt put my son in a positon of getting disapointed when he doesnt hear from them,get a bday card when hes older etc.
If my inlaws became my ex inlaws i would be so glad to be rid of them:D
Good luck with however you choose to deal with the problem!:kiss:
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