Pls HELP..crazy 3 yr old

[splish n splash]

My DS turned 3 last week, for about the last month he has gone crazy. Here are a few problems.

1. Gets very upset when we change the TV channel, get up to go to the kitchen and shut the security gate. He will cry and scream for about 15 mins, we try to talk to him to calm him down, explain that he can't come in the kitchen, explain that a add was on TV so we changed the channel.

2. He won't eat his dinner, he tries to get up on the table.

3. He whinges at everything, if something doesn't go his way or something simple like the tap not running fast enough or the washing machine finishes. Is this weird behaviour???

He keeps saying don't don't over and over but he will be doing nothing.

He keeps destroying his toys all his new puzzles he got for his birthday are all broken, he now eats his books.

I don't know what to do he whinges from when he wakes up till he goes to sleep, we take him outside to play to try and stop the whinging and he still whinges. He is horrible in public now and soo rude, telling ppl to move out the way and that it is his stuff, telling them to go away.

He now wakes up around 5am and refuses to go back to sleep even if we say come sleep in our bed.

I need HELP.

Thanks

[Sunnygal]

oh i hear ya! peopl say when they hit 2 its bad, we didn't have any problem until he hit 3 then all hell broke loose! Your little fellow is at an age where he wants to be independant and push the boundaries as far as they can go! Its exhausting when they go through this!
Can I suggest you see if you can find a parenting course in your local area? I did an 'understanding childrens behaviour' course and it really opened up my eyes on why he was behaving the way he was, when you know why its easier to find a plan of action! You can find courses at your local community health centre...

Sorry I couldn't be much more help, i have my 19mth old crawling all over me :D

[splish n splash]

Thanks sunnygal, I have seen the courses advertised so will book one.

[crazymuma]

I'm just wondering how is his speech and is he toilet trained?
Also how is he around other people and especially other children?
Is he an affectionate child?
How is he when you take him out in puclic - say to a noisy shopping center??

[splish n splash]

He has been toilet trained for a year his speech is perfect for his age, Althought the last week he will say let's go in in in mum's car saying in about 3-5 times. He is good around other kids apart from the odd (that's mine give it back) He is alright at shopping centres apart from being rude to ppl. like telling them to move or that's his.

Why do you ask is there something you are thinking off that might help?

Also I think he might have an imaginary(sp) friend or is he too young?

[JabberJaw]

Read the book " Raising your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurchinka, it saved my life!

Sounds pretty normal to me, although my children are fairy spirited or "Wild"

We had the terrible 2's, the testing 3's and the Faarrrrrkkkkkkking 4's ! Once they went to school they settled down immensly.

[splish n splash]

Read the book " Raising your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurchinka, it saved my life!.

Thanks wil have a look for the book

[crazymuma]

Just wondering - he has a few odd behaviours (repeating himself, freaking at change in routine etc) so I was just curious of the other areas. But seeing as though everything else is normal I would say he is normal

Sounds to me like you just have a spirited child - some people just do.

And don't worry about the imaginary friend - my son has had them since about the age of 2 - call me crazy but I truly beleive they are spirits and not some make beleive thing. I encourage his interaction with his imaginary friends

[Mrs J]

sounds like normal 3 yr olds to me, mine drives me insane :( she is so feral and nothing you say gets through to them.

[splish n splash]

Thanks you I might sound dumb but can someone tell me more about "a spirited child" what does this mean? I will have a look for the book during the week.

Thanks

[JabberJaw]

Using Kurcinka's terms, the nine traits are:

Intensity -- strength of emotional reactions. People often remark how "alert" an intense baby is or how much "personality" she has. While average kids will giggle at something funny, intense children burst into peals of laughter. When they are happy, they are always smiling, laughing, singing. When sad or upset, they are desolate, inconsolable. Intense children are very easily overstimulated. When too wound up they lose their impulse control and often hit, bite, pinch or kick for no apparent reason.
Persistence -- we value persistence in our society, and spirited kids have it -- they will stick to something for a long time. But they also have the negative kind, stubbornness. They "lock in" to ideas and have trouble unlocking. They can never take "no" for an answer; they'll ask for the same thing 20 times in a row if allowed.
Sensitivity -- low sensory threshold for noise, lights, emotions, temperatures, tastes, smells, clothing. Spirited kids are physically sensitive to environmental factors. Lights can't be too bright, noises too loud, clothing too tight or scratchy. Dressing a sensitive child is a special challenge: shirts have itchy tags, pantshttp://images.intellitxt.com/ast/adTypes/mag-glass_10x10.gif (http://parenting.ivillage.com/gs/gsbehavior/0,,45pv-2,00.html#) have elastic waistbands, and socks are full of lint and other booby traps (Kurcinka asks, "How do you deal with a child who can feel the 'seams' in tube socks...?").
Perceptiveness -- Perceptive kids notice everything around them. The smallest detail seldom escapes them. However, these details provide distractions which make completing other tasks difficult. Perceptive kids are often accused of not listening, when in reality, their attention is simply focused elsewhere. Adults have learned to screen out stimuli which are not important -- for example, we often drive on "auto pilot," not paying attention to anything around us except the other cars. Yet, we complete our task without mishap. Perceptive children have not learned to screen out extraneous stimuli, nor have they learned which stimuli are more important to attend to than others.
Adaptability -- to transitions, surprises, changes in schedule or routine. This is the trait that causes a child to melt down about a sandwich. She can't handle getting rectangles when she was expecting triangles. She's not being picky or demanding, she just doesn't adjust well to changes or surprises.
Regularity -- of eating, sleeping and bowel habits. Spirited kids often have irregular body rhythms. As new parents we are told that we will soon learn to distinguish between our baby's various cries. But for the parents of spirited kids, this is not always the case, since the child's eating, sleeping and elimination patterns are not regular. My own daughter, now 4-1/2, still has some problems sleeping through the night, and usually gets up before the sun. Nothing we have tried improves her sleeping patterns -- that's just how she is, and we have learned to adjust.
Energy -- activity level. Most (but not all) spirited kids have limitless energy. From morning until night they are moving. My daughter tap danced all through my pregnancy. When I had an ultrasound at 17 weeks the technician said, "I'm having trouble getting a good picture because the fetus keeps moving too much." Nothing has changed since then!
First Reaction -- to new people, places or experiences. Take a spirited kid into a new situation and they will turn shy and clingy. They need a few minutes to warm up. Ask a spirited kid a "yes/no" question and the first answer will most certainly be a resounding "no!" With a little encouragement and patience, these kids will try something new -- we just have to wait until they're ready.
Mood -- While some spirited kids have generally happy or sunny personalities, others tend to be serious, analytical and cranky. They are not trying to be difficult, this is their disposition, which is directly linked to brain patterns. These kids tend to see what's wrong with things instead of what's right. They don't display their emotions easily, so determining when they are happy is hard. There are no management techniques for moody kids; parents learn to cope by realizing that their kids can't help how they view the world.



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