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cjb/jbvd
23-06-2006, 12:36
my story wasn't great but i can't remember most of it because i passed out. that make me much luckier than most of the mums that have posted on this section. i have such a huge respect for all of you and what you have been through.
it started with me getting the gel stuff on monday afternoon. i got put into my room and told i'd be induced the next day. that night i started getting very regular sharp pains, assumed i was in labour and told the ward sister. she told me to go back to bed as i couldn't be in labour and that i should be trying to get some sleep. i got up and wandered around to stave off the pains. meditated alot, and massaged my own back. my partner had gone home as he couldn't stay with me and we were told there wasn't any reason for him to stay.
the next morning i got put into the birthing sweet, and had an internal done only to be told that i was three cm dilated. i got left in there to do whatever i wanted, and called my partner to come in. at around 5cm i asked for pethadine, then threw it all up because it turns out i'm allergic. then i had gas, which i am also allergic to. but because there was no one in the room, and i couldn't move, i was covered in puke for about half an hour. not so bad really. could have been worse. i got the epidural at seven cm, and the pain went away, what bliss. my partner went home. they decided to turn down the drip at about 3pm so that i could get through the last stage, they broke my waters, and then i started labouring. about 20 mins later after another internal i got told that he's posterior (they didn't know this before because i didn't have an ultrasound or anything to check his position before inducing me) and they would have to use the ventouse to help get him out. my partner arrived right about then. and from here it all gets a bit fuzzy. i remember DS coming out and them giving him to me to feed him. but i don't remember them cutting me to get him out. i remember the doctor saying that he had to get the placenta out and then i remember a ripping pain when he shoved his arm up there to pull it out. i remember asking the doctor to please wait a little before trying again as it hurt, but i don't remember anything after that except seeing my little tiny DS all alone under the bright lamp. that all took about an hour before i blacked out. i remember waking up later and not seeing him there and panicking. there was no-one in the room and i couldn't move my legs. i was covered in blood. when they finally wheeled me out, i saw that the floor underneath the bed and all the sheets were drenched with blood. aparently i had haemorrhiged because the placenta was almost as big as the baby and wouldn't come out. they had given me another epidural because i was screaming so much. my partner told me later when i asked him about it that he'd never seen a doctor panic before, and that i was told when i asked him to stop that he wouldn't wait because if he didn't do this then i would die. but i don't remember most of that pain or trauma or anything really other than my little son all alone under the lights. i got really lucky in that respect.
i spent the rest of that night not being allowed to sleep, with blood transfusions and saline and antibiotics going all night. DS was left with me in the room and i remember getting upset because i couldn't lift him properly to feed him or wrap him after changing and he kept kicking my canula out of my hand. i remember wetting the bed because i couldn't walk to the toilet. i guess for me it was after the labour that was the traumatic part. not being able to move properly, no-one to help me bath or change DS around the drips and my veins collapsing from having canulas in for three days. not having my parter or any of my family either made it hard as the ward staff were far from supportive, but at least i formed a very strong bond with my DS.
DS was a healthy 9lb 8oz and perfect in every way except for the big purple mark on his head from the vaccuum. and although i wouldn't choose to do it again, i don't regret any of it.

Briannabear
23-06-2006, 14:22
Oh you poor thing! Big hugs to you. :hugs: That hospital sounds awful - I cant believe no-one checked on you at all! :eek:

cheezelkat
23-06-2006, 14:31
oh my :thumbsdown: :hugs: The hospital sounds awful!

BJelly
23-06-2006, 14:33
Wow, that must have been so scary! I can't believe how you could be left to labour by yourself - what century is this??? And it's totally appalling that you and your DS were so badly treated after the birth - you both deserved so much better.

Mischief
23-06-2006, 15:22
My goodness, you poor thing! :hugs:

Thats horrible and makes me feel so lucky...to me my labour was tramatic, but it had the potential to be much worse.

You did an amazing thing, and I'm sure you are the best mum! In some ways I think it makes us appreciate our babies more, dont you?

Hokey Pokey
23-06-2006, 15:31
Wow I was left to labour too all alone, in the DARK aswell and told to BE QUIET :mad:
I'm sorry you went thru it too :crying:

Rachel&Emma
23-06-2006, 16:28
Did you write to the hospital and tell them your story. Are these hospitals unaware of what is going on in their labour wards. The way we are treated is disgusting. It's the lack of care that disturbs me. You should not have been left by yourself. :hugs: to you for getting through this horrible experience.

Hokey Pokey
23-06-2006, 17:50
I just felt so oh how would I explain it? Man angry hurt etc etc that I kind of tried my best to push it all to the back of my mind... now I feel it is too late and I don't really want to have to face people and relive it all :crying:

mum2paige
23-06-2006, 21:14
I'm so sorry. I had a similar experience in the hospital after the birth, and I think sometimes this affects you more than the birth itself, because you are so confused and vulnerable.

You know that you deserved so much better!:hugs:

Hokey Pokey
24-06-2006, 18:03
It's made me stronger I think, next time around I WILL not let ANYONE bully me and treat me the way they did!

Viva
26-06-2006, 10:19
Mummy2Paige and cjb/jbvd I had a very traumatic birth experience to and it has taken me 8 YEARS to reconcile it all.

I found this site which helped so much to understand what I had been feeling= post tramatic stress disorder. http://www.tabs.org.nz/diagnostic.htm

Only recently I got my medical records from the hospital (just rang them and got them copied for free - just ask about freedom of information there is usually an officer at each hospital dedicated to this) .
Then I sat down with the records (which were very very general) and talked through the birth with a sympathetic midwife (found through independant midwife association). It was wonderful, and has been very healing. Now I am trying for another baby !
Please take a look at the website I found it to be such a "AH" moment when I read through it and realised that WAS me.
good luck
peace and hope
Carolyn