giving more attention to one one twin

[two cheeky smurfs]

i am a single mum and my twins are 6 weeks old.. Lucas is a great baby and never wants too much attention but Maddison on the other hand always wants it... I feel as though i give her more attention than him and i feel so guilty that i dont give him the same but i dont know how to when shes always crying and hes not. I feel extremely bad and dont know what to do...

[MimiGrace]

I can imagine its like that for a lot of parents, regardless of whether the children are multiples or not. Its the ones who misbehave, or make the most noise that get more attention :( just a fact.

Is it maybe possible for you to wear Lucas in a sling or something? or see if you can wear them both in slings? that way, at least he can still feel like he's close to you, and you don't feel like your just leaving him in his cot, and cuddling his sister because she's demanding your attention.

There are some great websites out there that show how to wear multiples (http://www.thebabywearer.com/articles/HowToO/Twins.htm), i'll see if i can go track one down (although you've probably already found it, and i'm just repeating old news to you :p) - link is to thebabywearer

[Jezzy]

I used to find with my boys that I would put the grumpy one i the sling and they would nod off to sleep then I could spend time with the other bub. It is hard to begin with and I also felt guilty to the point even when they were in the SCN I would be almost timing the visit with each bub to make sure they both got the same amount of attention:D.
Just remember that over the span of their lifetime things will even out (thats what I used to think) Each will have their time when they will need you more it is just how it works.
Keep your chin up I know those first few weeks are extremely hard, and I have a partner!!!! I admire you doing this on your own you are doing an excellent job:hugs:

[Sheer Bliss]

:yes: DS2 is my little sooky boy, and loves to be held, whereas DD2 is a peaceful little being who is so relaxed and content. So as a result DS2 gets held more, but it will all even out...eventually. I just think that I need to be able to give them both what they need, and if DS2 needs the cuddles now, he gets them. Maybe later on DD2 will need me more, and she will get that. I know that my older 2 kids are not getting as much attention as they used to due to me being busy with the twins, but once this few hectic months are over, I can go back to giving them more attention. Try and ignore the gulit - there are too many things to feel guilty about if you let it all get to you.

[chrysalis]

yes, i have one twin far more vocal and active and she tends to dominate my one set of arms :)

don't stress too much about it!

sometimes I make an extra effort to play more or interact with the other

even mums of multiples with a partner can find it a problem as their hubby may be at work or not around - mums of twins have to deal with handling 2 babies and it's not always easy :hair:

[xkwzit]

I read somewhere once that parenting equally doesn't mean that you parent each child exactly the same. You can parent them equally, but differently. You give each of them what they need.

I do love the grumpy baby in the sling suggestion, leaving you free to have quality time with the other baby. They are great for unsettled babies.

Cheers

[Nomsie]

I think I wrote a post almost the same when the boys were a few weeks old. :)

And as everyone assured me, it does even out. And you will find it chops and changes too, as their moods do and different influencing factors come along. As long as you have plenty of people around to help you, Lucas will get plenty of cuddles from friends and family when you have your arms full

:goodvibes: