Will I get in trouble if I don't give XDP access?

[Benji]

XDP keeps messing me around. Changing drop off and pick up times and dates and it is driving me mental.

I work full time, and he keeps sending DS home hyper from lollies.

He is supposed to have DS monday nights, but he told me that next week he won't be taking him til the tuesday (I assume cos he knows Monday is my birthday and he wants to ruin it for me and my boyfriend).

If I just book DS into full time daycare, will I get in trouble? XDP is more than welcome to have him on weekends, but I cannot take sick days any more because he decides he doesn't want him on certain days.

I am deadly serious about this, I am going into the centre tomorrow to book him in full time. I've absolutely had it with the X today.

[crazymuma]

I would book him into the center and if his father still wants him on week nights then organise him to pick him up from the center on those days.

Can't see how you could get into trouble - is it court ordered visitation, a parenting plan or just an agreement between the two of you??

[Benji]

I would book him into the center and if his father still wants him on week nights then organise him to pick him up from the center on those days.

Can't see how you could get into trouble - is it court ordered visitation, a parenting plan or just an agreement between the two of you??

It's just between the two of us, his dad is too slack to go to court or mediation because he knows that would mean he couldn't pick and choose when is convenient for him and stuff everyone else. He has messed around me, my parents, the day care, his girlfriend... it's all about him and I've had it.

I don't trust him with daycare either. He pays not a cent towards it, nor a cent of child support and I can just envision him telling me he'd pick up DS from child care then just not show. He's done that to me numerous times, I can't see why daycare would be any different.

This is the absolute last straw.

[MamaKoala]

You can't get in trouble for putting your child in daycare. You have no outstanding consent orders so this is completely reasonable for a working mother to do. You are not withholding access, you are simply putting your son in care while you are at work.
I would definitely do it and not rely on FOB to pick your DS up from daycare, do it yourself. I know it can be annoying not having a reliable person to count on to help but he has obviously never been reliable so just expect that he never will be and go about your business as if he is not involved. If he wants to pick DS up from daycare and drop him the next day that is up to him but if he messes you about you really need to put something in place that prevents him from being so disruptive.

Good luck!:goodvibes:

[Benji]

Thanks Mamakoala, I thought as much.

I'm just so over being messed about when I'm already busy enough as it is.

[Teley]

Make sure you have everything recorded on text messages. Don't call him, do it by text messages, that way you have evidence that he's messing around:yes:.

I would book him into daycare if I were you. You have a very legitimate reason.

[Mummaholic]

Book him in! :yes:

[OneNowOneLater]

:iagree:

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

It's just between the two of us, his dad is too slack to go to court or mediation because he knows that would mean he couldn't pick and choose when is convenient for him and stuff everyone else. He has messed around me, my parents, the day care, his girlfriend... it's all about him and I've had it.

I don't trust him with daycare either. He pays not a cent towards it, nor a cent of child support and I can just envision him telling me he'd pick up DS from child care then just not show. He's done that to me numerous times, I can't see why daycare would be any different.

This is the absolute last straw.

No you would not get in trouble, if you keep a record of everything.

He is messing your son around and it is wrong, if he is serious he can go with you to mediation and draw up a suitable parenting plan, that includes a suitable diet, drop off and pick up etc.

Untill he makes the effort you will know he doesn't care enough and will continue to hurt your son and cause damage.

If he goes to mediation with you and you get the parenting plan set up and he doesn't stick to it, it will count against him if you ever go to court.

Do what you have to for your son, if he wants to be a good and reasonable dad then he can. other wise he should rack off.

[Mummy2R&K]

Write down everything, ie when he changes dates etc like you have said he does.

Because if it ever goes to court, he'll look really stupid, because he just keeps hurting your son.

Don't even tell him what daycare he is going to.