Kinder bullying?!?!

[MysteryDevil]

My son is 4 and a 1/2 and half way through kindergarten. He's getting bullied in kinder, as are most of the kids by one particular kid. The kinder teachers say they're keeping an eye on the bully but son is still coming home with bruises, cuts and torn clothing. The bully even managed to put a hole in my son's shoes!
I'm at my wits end because my son and his best friend are now in tears when we drop them off. What can we do?
:banghead:

[WorkingClassMum]

Not acceptable!!!!!

Demand a meeting with the Director, the assistant and ask for a written plan on how this is going to be managed.

Follow up with a letter to the comittee if there is no resolution within a reasonable time, and then go to the Kinder assoctaion in your state, and the Local Council as well as they are technically in charge of the kinders.

[Boobycino]

Wow, thats poor supervision. Its one thing to say that they're 'keeping an eye' on the bully, but if your son is repeatedly being phsyically bullied, this is frankly not the case. They're not properly supervising your son, or his bully.

I worked in a childcare center - and sure you cant be everywhere at once, but there were a few little bullies and we would watch the bullies like hawks. Swoop in to the rescue before anyone could be badly hurt. I remember two little boys who simply were not left unattended with their peers.

I think you definately need to sit down with the carers and director and get some answers and get a committment as to how they will protect your son.

I also think they need to sit down with the bullies parents - as clearly they have some delicate challenges to be addressed there. Though thats their issue, not yours, you need confirmation that they will keep your son safe.

If they are unable to provide safe care, I'd be seeking alternative care.

[kirstenriley]

Id also be rostering myself on kinder duty too to see what is going on!!!

[guerin]

Why is this young boy in kinder if he is such a bully and the kindergarten teachers are unable to supervise him enough to stop bullying?

When you pick your boy up or drop him off do you speak to other parents to work out which other peoples children are being bullied? By the sounds of your post I am sure you will find a number and I believe that you as all parents should have a meeting with the director of the center with one request only and that is the boy is either removed from Kindergarten or one of his parents must be there during the session and he must be supervised one on one at all times. It is obvious that the workers are unable to give him the supervision he needs and as such another plan needs to be implemented.

But get the other parents and do it as a group. You will have a lot more clout.

[kuddles]

I'm a casual teacher in NSW. I think it is so sad that children get away with being bullies. Is your son in a school kinder class or a preschool such as ABC? What type of teacher does your boy have? Is she/he an old teacher?
Some schools have a bullying culture established. In these schools you may face more trouble trying to fix the problem than in other schools.

I have watched way too many teachers ignore the real issues with in their class. Yes it is a hard job, yes there is so much to cover in one day, yes teachers have many students to watch at the same time but might I add at the end of the day it is no excuse. Bullying affects every aspect of a child's life and no child can be expected to be happy let alone reach their full potential if they are living in fear.

My suggestion is to go to the school secretary and request a meeting with the Principal and the class teacher without your child present. Talk to them both about what is going on. Make sure at this point no matter how annoyed you may feel that you approach this meeting in a strong, cool, rational manner. They will respond better. See what bullying programs they have in place and how they are going to deal with the problem at hand. Make sure the teacher deals with bullying across the entire class to try and limit the possibility of your boy getting picked on more because his mummy went to the Principal.

After the interview I would document everything said to help you remember what was said just incase you have to take it higher still. Then if the bullying continues document it further by keeping a diary of everything that happens.

Goodluck HTH

After that

[Pax]

You would be amazed at how well this works ;)

You to teacher: "Sort out this bullying with regards to my child or I will sort it out for you.. that means i will take it upon myself to talk to their parents and if need be the children, and will report it to 'higher authority than you' "

of course it is a bluff, but it seems to work :cool:

[delirium]

That is totally unacceptable, and I would be doing something about it. You need to be making a time with the Director of the kindy, with a list of the approximate dates and injuries your child has suffered. I would then be asking what they are going to do about your son being assaulted (which he is) in their care.

The center has a duty of care toyour son. Don't let them fob you off :yes:

[~Candy~]

Unacceptable!
At my childs kindy..this behaviour would cause for this bully to be expelled.
Also...take photo's of your childs bruises, scratches, torn clothing etc.

[Shananaaah]

Yes, keep a record of what is happening to your child.

I don't know if it's different to daycare, but our daycare issues reports we have to sign when something happens to our child. Are you getting informed of the events by the school, or are you finding out about it from your child when you pick him up?

Unfortunately my DS (2yo) is a biter :( and for a few weeks he was getting REALLY bad.

Daycare had one of the carers basically stick by his side ALL DAY evey day and stop him before anything could happen. I'm not sure how many teachers/carers are in your son's class but it sounds to me like this is what they might have to do to the bully.

:hugs: to your DS and his best friend - I hope they sort it out VERY soon. ANd that he is ok from it all.

[biscotti]

You would be amazed at how well this works ;)

You to teacher: "Sort out this bullying with regards to my child or I will sort it out for you.. that means i will take it upon myself to talk to their parents and if need be the children, and will report it to 'higher authority than you' "

of course it is a bluff, but it seems to work :cool:


Stand over tactics?
I can't see that achieving too much except getting a parent offside with the teacher/Director.

OP - I'm sorry this has happened, not good. Go and have a chat with the Director and explain your concerns. Ask her/him for a copy of their Behaviour Management policy and also their Bullying policy if they have one. Are you being given the Incident Reports to sign (for the cuts and bruises), ask for copies of them too. And see if your son can start using some strategies eg saying loudly in his "big" voice "Stop that, I don't like it" when said bully starts to bully.
Good luck.

[Pax]

Stand over tactics?
I can't see that achieving too much except getting a parent offside with the teacher/Director.

well obviously being nice hasnt worked *shrugs*

[MysteryDevil]

Thanks heaps for all your advice. I will try all the different methods suggested.
I've started to keep track of his injuries as well as getting a list of other parents. I've had 12 out of 24 parents confirm so far!!
There is supposed to be an injury book but so far the teachers are yet to inform me of any injury (including when my son fell of the equipment and grazed his face!)
The kinder teachers themselves are a little old, I believe both of them have been teaching at the kinder for 25 years. I think it may be time for some new ones!!