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View Full Version : Does Anyone Else Feel like this??



zimby
14-06-2009, 08:15
Imagine you decided to go for your Dream Job, one thats fulfilling and meaningful and would last a lifetime, a job you have been working towards your whole life. You decide to go for it but you dont hear anything back so you try again and you still dont hear back, you think well thats ok you have heard it can take a while to get this job, everyone wants it, its popular right....so you keep trying....and you keep trying...and you keep trying but you never hear anything back. Its been 6 months so your getting a little bit frustrated but still not worried coz you have to work for what you want so you keep trying in good spirits. Meanwhile your current job is getting a bit annoying your thinking that your new life will start soon and you wont be at your current job long so it dosnt matter.
A year goes by and you dont understand, you think maybe theres something your not doing right so you go and check with a professional and they give you an exam, and you pass with flying colours, they say no your doing everything right so you keep trying....and you keep trying, but you still dont hear anything, not a single thing. Your current job is even worse now coz you really cant be bothered you think its a waste of time but you cant leave coz your new life is going to start just next month.
Its been 18 months now so you think you need to check with the professionals again they said you 'could' have the job, but your still waiting. They give you another exam, quite a lot in fact, and get this YOU have to pay for the exams. They still say everything is fine dont worry so you keep trying and you still dont hear anything, eventually even more time passes and this time they say maybe you should see the Experts. Ok so you go and see the experts and you pay even more money and have even more exams, but the exams start to get a bit more invasive and a bit more costly, but you cant leave your current job coz you need the money to pay for all the exams for your 'new job'.


Meanwhile loads of other people are given the job that YOU want, even people that dont even want it, but thats not fair you say you were trying first and your more ready and you have prepared more, but its no good they still wont give you the job. So now your really frustrated and angry and confused, there is no second best so you cant go in a different direction you have to still focus on your Dream Job. But you cant plan anything, your life is on hold, that great holiday you want you cant plan too far in advance 'just in case' you eat well 'just in case' you cant leave your current job 'just in case' you actually cant do much at all except keep trying and waiting. So now its been almost 3 years and you cant believe its actually been that long. You think, have I wasted this time, what else could I have been doing, damn it I should have booked that holiday 3 years ago, I should have left my current job 2 years ago and got one I liked more to make this easier. How long do I keep doing this, should I give up. The problem is you cant give up coz your partner wants this Dream Job too but only you can do it, so if you give up then he is forced to give up to, and lets be honest you dont really want to give up yourself anyway so you just keep trying..and trying..and waiting and paying. But now the world seems darker coz you cant see when this is going to end, it might never end and then what do we do, when do you say enough is enough, or do you never say that, When do I leave my current job and retrain even it means less money? When do I book that mega holiday? When do I do something for myself and be selfish? When do we do anything but this? And so it continues..except my 'Dream Job' is Motherhood and people say.....“Gosh your moody its nothing just get over it”

KiahsMum
14-06-2009, 11:09
*HUGS* I think there are a lot of women who feel the way you do. Remember like all things you can take a 'vacation' from it, take a break, let it slide for a little bit and then decide if you want to go back to it. Taking a break doesn't mean you are giving up, it is acknowledging the huge toll it takes trying to get pregnant when you are having issues both mentally and physically. I would also suggest some counselling if you aren't going already. I found this helped me a lot on my journey, having someone to speak to who didn't pipe up with, its ok it will happen, oh don't take it all so personally and my fave, oh if you just stopped stressing it would happen.

I wish you all the luck in the world in getting your dream job!

zimby
14-06-2009, 18:43
thanks Kiahsmum, I went to one counsellor but it wasnt that great, however I am considering going to a new one coz I have heard it definately helps. Im sure we all feel this way and we have all been through the same feelings at some stage. Most days i'm fine but was just having a bad morning, hope I didnt depress anyone.....lol
Oh thats a good one ' stop stressing and it will happen' hahaha sometimes I really dont know how people say these things, most people say to me 'just go on holiday and relax' I think we could all write a book with inappropriate things to say someone, it might be quite uplifting.
Anyway thanks heaps for replying to me and making me feel better.

dreamtobeamummy
14-06-2009, 19:16
Hey zimby

I feel that way too... Ive been trying to get this job for 18 mths now... :(

I hope you get your dream job very soon!! :D

:hugs:

Vickee
22-06-2009, 00:00
Hi Ladies
DH & I are in the same boat as you. It has come to a point now where it is affecting our relationship and his performance which is even more frustrating, because you try to try and you can't - if that makes sence... Anyway, we have decided to try IVF.... Not sure if thats something u have considered, but it may be worth thinking about....

Wish u all the best:fingerscrossed:

Blueberry Crumble
22-06-2009, 05:10
I really hope you get your dream job soon xox... I have heard many many stories here and around about couples who take a few years to conceive, so this job may not be too far away for you.

I agree with a PP, I think it is important to consider taking a break from trying for a little while, just so you can try and focus your energy on other things in life. I know, easier said than done. But I was getting very frustrated when trying to conceive our DD, and when we decided to take a break it just happened. I dont know whether it was because my body was more relaxed etc who knows?

Having a break doesnt mean giving up. I really hope you get some answers soon.

mamma1
22-06-2009, 12:44
I know exactly how you feel, only difference is I already have one little boy and we have been trying for four years for a brother or sister for him, nothing makes the pain any easier. I sympathise with you and wish you all the best with your dream job, just keep the faith and always remember you have a loving husband, and as i've just discovered, do what you want now, don't put your life on hold waiting, take your holiday, get a new job because when that little dream comes along you'll only need room in your life for them and and i hope you enjoy every moment of it.

Good luck

zimby
22-06-2009, 17:34
thanks so much for all your kind words. and Vickee I am sorry that is has started to affect your relationship I hope you can work through it. and Mamma1 and Jbelle yeah I agree a break would be good but I will still keep on going with it for now. I actually just went back to the FS today and he said we are going to try a natural cycle of IUI this week and then if no luck next month we will try IUI with Clomid. I am worried about the side effects of Clomid as my mood has not been that stable recently so think that will just make it worse but I will see how I go. Then after that I may take a break if still no luck before trying IVF. I also just quit my job so that is one weight of my mind coz my colleages there were just getting so *****y and it was making me much worse so I am going to focus on getting well and healthy and just relaxing which I am looking forward to.
Good luck to you all, and thanks so much for helping me.

XavysMummy
22-06-2009, 17:48
Hey Zimby,
What a great way of putting it....'dream job' I've been trying for my dream job for almost 3 yrs and I keep getting offered the job only to find out 8wks later that its not going to work out....and thats happened 3 times...I've been offered the job again though, hopefully this time it works out...for all of us

zimby
22-06-2009, 18:08
Hi Kazc,
ooooh I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you, I really hope it works out you have certainly been on a roller coaster by the sounds of it.

Vickee
23-06-2009, 09:19
Hi Zimby

Wow, I quit my job in Jan too - too stressful with all that is going on....

Good Luck with it all I really hope it all works out for you:goodvibes:

Elestrial
23-06-2009, 19:02
Your Dream Job, one thats fulfilling and meaningful and would last a lifetime, a job you have been working towards your whole life.

Zimby, I hear you mate! This is absolutely my dream job, and everything else is just dragging along. Hope you get good news soon.

overitand36
23-06-2009, 23:25
what i would like to change in the pursuit of the dream job

would be just to be able to stop counting days and making love because you want a baby rather than the real reason just because you want to

we are so over it starting the blood test and ultrasounds this cycle to see what the hell is going on


but what happens when everything comes back normal, some part of me is hoping something is wrong rather than the constant word of normal just wait

i am 36 and not getting any younger sorry but I want it NOW

Baldie's Mum
23-06-2009, 23:35
oh the illusive dream job! I have been waiting my whole career for this offer! I have another interview in October. I have had a few interviews before, about 11, 2 of them i got the job only to be told the position wasnt exactly for me.....

Oh i hope all my hard work and training pays off! My CV is immaculate! :o

overitand36
23-06-2009, 23:37
i don't think we where talking about the dream job as work, rather the dream job of being pregnant

as far as work their is no dream job it just a job that pays the bills whilst waiting to get pregnant

Baldie's Mum
23-06-2009, 23:47
interview = New IVF cycle........
i have had 11 cycles of fertility treatments 2 ended in MC

I have been TTC for a while.

I would be a wonderful mum (my cv being immaculate)

sorry to confuse!

Also, i dont work, we put my fertility issues first, plus who would hire me, this year all i have done is ultrasounds, blood tests, operations and dr appointments! I dont have time to work! :rolleyes:

Vickee
24-06-2009, 08:01
Hi overitand36

Sooo sorry to hear about what ur going thru... Good Luck with the tests I hope they find a solution for you that gets you what you want ASAP. :sunshine:

Im not going to say: stop stressing it will happen or don't worry it will happen, it just takes time - because I am sick to death of people saying that to ME!!!:banghead:

All the Best :flowerz::hugs:

Elestrial
24-06-2009, 09:00
Im not going to say: stop stressing it will happen or don't worry it will happen, it just takes time - because I am sick to death of people saying that to ME!!!

It's hard to find comforting words to say, because we've all heard them and they're all ****. I guess the most comforting thing is "you are loved. And everything will be ok". I don't know how long it will take, I don't know how muchg it will cost, I don't know if you will even get the result you want, but no matter what for all of us! WE ARE LOVED AND IT WILL BE OK

zimby
24-06-2009, 20:13
oh yes I am also sick of the silly words of wisdom such as 'just go on holiday' i'm sure we have all heard them at some point.

and Arianrhod, what you said is exactly why I have just quit, because I need to focus on my health and wellbeing if we have any chance of this working, the last thing I need right now is more stress and work is causing a whole deal of stress for me.

overitand36 im the same, heaps of tests and no real answers it feels like I live from one appointment to the next.