Help me with my anti-wedding - from a guests POV?

[Looshkin]

SO I'm planning an engagement party and a wedding at the moment..
Engagement party is not an issue, I'll spend a day or so cooking and invite everyone to a feast - I'm cool with doing that traditionally.

But what I want advice on, is as a guest what sort of things would make a wedding more...interesting I guess for lack of a better word.

I don't want to do a church followed by reception hall with buffet or three course meal with chair bows, co-ordinating table covers and tall vases of flowers kwim?

I'm trying to brainstorm some ideas that would be.. just really different.. more like some amazing event that it's really a wedding, or at least not what weddings have become if that makes sense?

I've thought about the destination thing, get everyone to fly to some super location and all stay and party for a few days, but I'm not sure about this.. I've looked into it and a lot of people say everyone pays for their own flights but I would feel pretty rude saying, oh you're invited to our wedding...just sort yer own flights out though!

Maybe a tiki thing, with a big bonfire and get some of my friends to fire dance/fire breath and have fireworks and cocktails and food..?

But I'm a bit stumped right now - I mean I am sure other countries do things differently.
I'm not up to speed on other cultures traditions, but I'm sure they would be more interesting than a really expensive *set* three course dinner in a room with ugly carpet and big random bows on chairs?

I think if you break it down to the common denominator, its people watching you publicly declare your commitment, signing the contract and then having food / or some way to celebrate.. I'm just not sure on the direction this has been taken ala 'australian bride' magazine?

So if anyone has been to wedding with something about it you really liked - tell me about it!

[MimiGrace]

I went to a lovely wedding about a year or so ago, (it was an older couple - third marriage for both, and both bio grandparents :p), but they just had like a 'bring a plate' gathering.
semi-formal.

and then everyone congregated in their living room and they had these beautiful speeches prepared. and they explained the symbolism behind the rings they were giving each other. and i think the witnesses said some stuff.

it was very personal, and very beautiful.

and she just wore like a grey dress-suit thing.

um, something to that effect is probably my favourite idea (although, if i ever get married, i'm eloping :p and spending the wedding money on a trip to europe). although i personally like a garden setting best - not a lounge room :D

[Lastcenturymum]

A friend of mine's son used to joke that he wanted a wedding in the church then guests would bring a plate - surname A-K bring a cassarole or savoury and M-Z a dessert! :D

It would depend on where you would have it, the weather, the number of people...beaches are popular or parks..as for a theme, that could work out with the location.

Personally I'm not a fan of the fly to an exotic location thing, it's not fair to expect people to pay that much to attend a wedding (and then possibly have them on your honeymoon :p)

[Rabbity Babbity]

M wedding isn't that interesting, but isn't traditional either....

Ceremony: I am getting married at some cliffs over looking Brisbane. The ceremony hopefully won't be longer than 10minutes...and I will be in a vintage red ball gown.

Reception:The reception is being held at a nearby hotel with a 1920's function room. Instead of a sit down meal we're have a cocktail reception as I don't like sit down and silly chair bows.

The food menu is:
Lobster & Mango Spoons (gf)
Sour Dough Bruschetta with Rare Beef, Rocket & Horseradish
Cucumber Rolled Tuna (gf)
Caramelised Balsamic Red Onion Tartlet with Creamy Blue Cheese
Hot
Sesame Crusted Salmon Fillet (gf)
Twice Baked Kipfler Potato with Truffle, Pancetta & Cheese (gf)
NZ Mussels baked with herb sour Dough
Porcini Mushroom Risotto Balls with Garlic Aioli (v)
Grilled Swordfish on Ginger Ricecake with Chilli Salad





ANYWAY....what about one of the Islander/Maori traditions where they bury all the food, light a fire over it and it cooks that way and everyone can dance around that- would be fun..

[Cicho]

Hi
We got married in a park and went straight to our honeymoon :yes:

Had our reception 2 weeks later, party style :laughing:

BBQ, beer and prawns! Balloons and streamers etc

Everyone commented on what a good idea it was to delay our reception, seeings as there were lots of littlies attending, and having the wedding/reception together is a big day for everybody :yes:

Everyone had a ball, no one had to get dressed up (we wore jeans) and we partied late into the night cos we didn't start up till after 5.00pm :yes:

We also had our wedding cake then, and used our flowers from the wedding for table decorations :yelclap:

Good Luck! Hope you have a great day :hugs:

[Mummaholic]

Have you seen http://www.offbeatbride.com? You may find it helpful. Also http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=8502 and http://www.princesslasertron.com

[Seacretsquirrel]

We had our wedding in 2005 - had the Wedding in a park on the Brisbane River (near where they have the markets) and then had the reception in the little cafe/restaruant that was literally underneath where we did the ceremony - no foofy bows here either. As it was a small wedding we were able to have a menu where people could choose from 2 options rather than the alternate drop which was much better.:yelclap: We had the best day everything went pretty much to plan and everyone had a ball!

A GF did the church ceremony (on the Navy Base) then we all went back to their place for nibblies -just lots of platers of food and chips etc and a few drinkies! very casual and fun.

[Rabbity Babbity]

Art Gallery Wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bada]

I've always loved and wanted to use parts of the wedding depicted in Jane's Addiction Classic Girl video clip.
It sure is different...
http://www.webcastr.com/videos/music/classic-girl--janes-addiction.html

[3 Little Pigs]

My sis is getting married in oct.
Its going to be the small country town we grew up in. She's doing a Friday cause its cheaper. They're getting married in a park
mum hired out a B&B and were having the reception there in the garden, were setting up a marquee and having a 'Mad Hatter' kind of tea party. Were making the food cause it mostly cupcakes and nibbles.
I cant wait :goodvibes:

[danemwalker]

I went to a great wedding last year....the bride and groom got married on a beautiful wharf and we had champagne why they got some photos taken...in a nearby park ect...

then a beautiful old (renovated) boat turned up..we spent the day on the boat talking, dancing , eating and drinking cocktails. it was so nice. we had wedding cake and then everyone disembarked at sunset and the bride and groom stayed overnight on the boat..

very memorable and special !!!

[subaruforestermum]

We are thinking of hiring a bus, busing our guests up to Noosa headlands where we will be married, photos taken near devils kitchen, etc, then hot chips on the beach!

I have plans for alternative wedding, but decided to simplify it when we had DD...

[jag5000]

sorry Zel.. slightly OT

I'm wracking my brains to think of a site/forum that I used a heap when getting married and cannot for the life of me remember it! grrr... something like alternative brides or something like that?! anyone know it?

[Mathermy]

I went to a great wedding last year....the bride and groom got married on a beautiful wharf and we had champagne why they got some photos taken...in a nearby park ect...

then a beautiful old (renovated) boat turned up..we spent the day on the boat talking, dancing , eating and drinking cocktails. it was so nice. we had wedding cake and then everyone disembarked at sunset and the bride and groom stayed overnight on the boat..

very memorable and special !!!

That sounds dreamy!:goodvibes:

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

Hmmmm

I would love to have a 1920/30's type of wedding.

http://www.diamonddame.com/2009/05/modern-1930s-fashion-kate-moss-in-vogue.html

http://www.geocities.com/flapper_culture/

A Jazz theme, beautiful finger waved hair etc

[Mrs Nietzsche]

One of my friends got maried about a year ago in Newtown cemetery there and had the 'reception' there too.. the church was cool with it.

[Looshkin]

Wow everyone has great ideas.

Your wedding sounds fabulous MLB, I'm such a foodie, and the food sounds luuufly!!

I definitely want to feed people good food and wine, if nothing else.

The mad hatters thing I'm so doing as the bridal shower thingie, lol I never miss a chance to draw and do some art, and have been doing up some invitations, calling it 'High Tea Down the Rabbit Hole' and do a mad hatters high tea, with those little platform cake stands and make scones and little cakes and chocolates with "eat me" on them, and pink macaroons in the shape of hearts with strawberry ganache and stuff. :D Oh and some antique teapots and coffee pots I've collected from opp shops.... and other places... over the years (collecting junk is another vice)

SSP, I love the idea of a 1920's - 30's theme , I have some friends that conveniently into jazz that are going to, get this, not only play je suis musica for me, but also get the violin and oboe to play an instrumental of Tool doing "push it" for us to walk down the aisle.. :smiliedance:

But I'm a bit obsessed with all things 1920's/30's and, my engagement ring was made in the 1920's too.. and the dresses I like are sort of simple 30's style.. so it's all very synchronicity me thinks.

I am keen to know that website Jag, I'll have a looksie.
I was dredding organising this.
I read this 'bride' magazine and felt like it was stabbing my brain and threw it on the floor and walked away - seriously I think that stuff is designed to make you feel like you're having a nervous breakdown because you're sposed to organise things 10 years in advance..

I'm actually really looking forward to organising it now..
Me and DF were joking about how if I get UTD soon, we will wait till I'm 8 months pregnant, get suits and dress from an oppshop pin them to fit, put a scrunchie in my hair 80's style and put white sneakers and a black leather patched and studded punk jacket on and invite our friends and family to meet us there, but just go to the registry to get copies of our birth certificates and prank them.. and then have an impromptu baby to be born soon celebration lunch instead so they're not too annoyed.

But I think the real thing could be quite lovely too..:goodvibes:
We always said we would elope, but I like any reason to drink a nice bottle of sangiovese and eat schmancy food.

I would love to have a party in the cemetary Maire, but my inlaws would freak and crack it, more than they freak already:rolleyes:
Too bad for them we have decided we will be playing tool, slayer, dead kennedies and misfits and other assorted easy listening at the reception...

[OneNowOneLater]

We're getting married in a Garden next october. We still need to book our reception site, which we're gonna hire out for the whole weekend (Friday night - Monday morning - wedding is gonna be on the sunday arvo).

Have you looked into the Scout campsites - we're planning on having ours at one. The day before the wedding, we plan on having a guys vs girls challenge up on the big obstacle course. Getting really dirty and muddy etc, while having heaps of fun!

[Mummaholic]

Jo, was it this one http://www.offbeatbride.com

[rainbow road]

My aunt and uncle had a 1920s flappers and gangsters themed wedding/party :yes:

It was AWESOME.

[jag5000]

it was kinda like that but not quite mummaholic (that's a good one tho' :) ... I think maybe it doesn't exist anymore

I had a 30's themed wedding.. was lovely :goodvibes: .. a small chalet in the melbourne hills in winter.. it even snowed! and I got to wear a fur stole and bring out grandma's bling... lots of jazz, cocktail reception, and a big ole' BBQ at our house the next day :)
(it's my anniversary today so I'm getting all goo-ey wedding-y :D)

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

it was kinda like that but not quite mummaholic (that's a good one tho' :) ... I think maybe it doesn't exist anymore

I had a 30's themed wedding.. was lovely :goodvibes: .. a small chalet in the melbourne hills in winter.. it even snowed! and I got to wear a fur stole and bring out grandma's bling... lots of jazz, cocktail reception, and a big ole' BBQ at our house the next day :)
(it's my anniversary today so I'm getting all goo-ey wedding-y :D)


Happy anniversary.:goodvibes:

Your wedding sounds lovely.

[Mummaholic]

Yes happy anniversary for yesterday! Sounds divine.

[bada]

Too bad for them we have decided we will be playing tool, slayer, dead kennedies and misfits and other assorted easy listening at the reception...


Oh please tell me you'll be playing Misfits Last Caress, the oldies love that one :yes: oooh and Devil's Whorehouse, the perfect song for a wedding :D

[hailsntwang]

Hi

I go married in November 08 and we got married in the middle of our street on the roundabout. (we live in a court that has a roundabout in the middle - extremely original idea!!).

We then held the reception at the local pub and it worked out fantastic. We hired all the pool tables, had a dj, had none of the traditional stuff (I didn't even throw the bouqet:laughing:). We had pub meals and ended up catching a taxi home at 4:00am in the morning.

No fussy, posh kinda food that nobody eats in real life, no formalities that have nothing to do with our real life - the party we threw was a get together with friends. As simple as that.

Everyone has commented on how the whole night was fantastic due to it being so casual and laidback. There was no expectations, the guests never got bored or felt out of place, they are still talking about it 7 months on!!


Originally I came across an alpine lodge which was just opening and was willing to rent out the entire thing (kitchen, lounge, bedrooms, spa, sauna, tennis courts - everything) for $1000! :eek:

http://starglenlodge.com.au/index.html (http://starglenlodge.com.au/index.html)
(This is where we were planning on getting married originally - what i'm talking about).

We were going to have a "wedding weekend" and just chill, have a bonfire and bbq, hang out in the spa and drink- just really nice, interactive and relaxing.

We ended up postphoning the original idea due to me falling pregnant and by the time we reorganised the wedding - they weren't a new business anymore and weren't struggling for clients.

Maybe you could hunt around, find a remote hotel somewhere who may be struggling and organise a "wedding weekend". Offer them one set price.

It could work out fantastic:yes:

[MountainGirl]

how about a glam beachparty? get an accoustic band,...a firepit,.... some glam oldworld velvet couches,..persian style rugs and cushions,.. some tikki torches and fairy Lx to light the area,.... a cocktail bar and waiter to make martinis,.. a pig on a spit,.prawns,.oysters and ummmm cupcakes!!!! get everyone to dress in vintage rock'n'roll glam,... then hang out with your friends,.listen to the waves,..the music,..eat great food and drink matrini's,..

how fab would that be!!!!

[jag5000]

that sounds wonderful SJR!!

I think I just found my 40th b'day party! :D

[melbryan]

Hubby and I went to Vanuatu in 2001 for 5 nights it was honey moon and wedding in we dressed up in beach wedding clothes and had it on the beach under a hibiscus covered hut it was beautiful and would never have changed a thing. No guests but when we came home we had a celebration where we dressed up I made wall hangings and put them around the room with pictures of the wedding we showed the video we dressed the same, we signed t'shirts and hung them up and included our flight tickets and all that kind of stuff or the memorablilia form the trip. It was catered for but very casual.
I just never have been a fan of traditional weddings and at the time we wanted to buy a house not pay off a wedding for the rest of our lives. SO the choice was made, we now have a 5 bedrrom house 4 kids and are living happily ever after been married 8 years in 2 weeks.
Good luck with your choice it is such a personal one.

[jag5000]

I finally remembered that site I was talking about!! Indie bride! :D

[cindye]

DH and I planned our wedding in 3 months - I would've been happy to elope, (but he didn't want to do that to his mum) and I wasn't that keen on the traditional ceremony / reception.

What we ended up with - 10 min ceremony (no readings, songs, not even order of services, etc) with non traditional vows at 5.30pm, overlooking a lake at a vineyard. While we had half an hour of photos, our guests kicked back with a drink and cheese / nibbly platters in the vineyard tasting rooms.

Reception in the barrel room at the vineyard. Great food, fantastic band, we had a lolly buffet instead of bonboniere, and the only decorations were a heap of tealight candles. The room had a concrete floor and brick walls and looked amazing. Cake sat on a wine barrel.

Our guests loved that the ceremony and reception were at the same place, that they didn't have to wait around for hours while we had photos done, and that we didn't tell than what seat they had to sit in, but just what table they were designated to.

We loved that it was so simple and still elegant and we had a fabulous time.

When we were planning our wedding we thought about they things we liked and didn't like at weddings we had been to and this helped with our decisions.

Hope that helps!

[Lastcenturymum]

Saw an interesting idea on telly the other night - for something different - a couple got married on a roller coaster!! Now no one else would have wedding photos quite like those eh? She had to hold her veil and tiara on..but I think they had a blast (and course the minister used the analogy of 'ups and downs'...:rolleyes:)

[MountainGirl]

how about a glam beachparty? get an accoustic band,...a firepit,.... some glam oldworld velvet couches,..persian style rugs and cushions,.. some tikki torches and fairy Lx to light the area,.... a cocktail bar and waiter to make martinis,.. a pig on a spit,.prawns,.oysters and ummmm cupcakes!!!! get everyone to dress in vintage rock'n'roll glam,... then hang out with your friends,.listen to the waves,..the music,..eat great food and drink matrini's,..

how fab would that be!!!!

Zel,....how cool would it be to do this in the historic cemetery in Newtown!?!??!?:yes: Glam/vintage/punk style?!

[Mrs Potts]

Saw an interesting idea on telly the other night - for something different - a couple got married on a roller coaster!! Now no one else would have wedding photos quite like those eh? She had to hold her veil and tiara on..but I think they had a blast (and course the minister used the analogy of 'ups and downs'...:rolleyes:)
I was literally just reading through the posts and was about to suggest a theme park. Depending on where you are Dreamworld, Luna Park, etc. Would be a blast I think!

Or a zoo? Aquarium? That kind of thing :yes:

Although I do love Mountain Girl's cocktail beach party idea too!

[Amara]

A relaxed wedding is great. I'm not into formal sit down weddings at all. You can get seated next to strangers (particularly if you are single or your partner is in the wedding party) and thats not always a nice experience.

I've been to a wedding that just had spit roast catering & you could sit wherever you liked. It was smart casual (but the groom was in shorts so go figure) & I had a great time. Nice and relaxing for all involved.

I'd love to go to a wedding that was all finger food & just sit where you like.

[Looshkin]

Zel,....how cool would it be to do this in the historic cemetery in Newtown!?!??!?:yes: Glam/vintage/punk style?!


lol! Yeah Maire was saying she went to a wedding there.. I have been suggesting to DF but the draw on his inner goth of having a party in the cemetary is outweighed by his rebelious anti-establishment anti- church tradition.
*even* though we obviously wouldn't get married in the church, probably behind in under that lovely big ..fig or something tree..

I was,going to talk to them, you know they might just be cool with it..

But - it looks like we may end up doing just something very similar to your first suggestion, My mum lives in this little zilion year old hippy shack that is literally on the beachfront at lennox head.

I'm thinking I'll make some lovely chinese lanterns to hang through all the trees and hang some old french antigue candelabras - that I've been collecting in the trees.. and set up some small tables like a garden party scattered in her backyard looking out on the ocean and the headland on the grass and the sand if its low tide.. That way we can dance on the sand with some fire torches instead of a dance floor.

and get married under her frangipani tree and I'll just do a load of cooking for a few days as we'll only be inviting 40 of the most special people to us..

So I reckon I can find a way to do all the food and make my own cake..
And found a place I can get masses of boxes of flowers delivered to my mums house in bulk, so spend 300 bucks on masses of lillies and roses and jounquils and lavender and lilacs and everything of nice smellyness..

Buy a few cases of french champers and beer for those inclined and few bottles of spirits and make up big jugs of 2 types of cocktails ( DF's and My fave cocktail of course)

Oh and get a friends kinda well knownish (in the punk scene:p:p) Punk band are gonna play for free, and one of them is bringing some friends that can play string instrument to play an instrumental song of Tool's for us to 'walk down the aisle' too. And my mums friends more chilled band is gonna play after that for the oldies..

And some other invited friends are bringing their poi and sticks and stuff for fire breathing..

And another invited friend is a photographer and doing that as a pressie!!

It's gonna be awesome!!:smiliedance:

I'm really looking forward to it actually.
Never thought I'd say that.

and it's not even that weird.
Just a party at my mammas.

[Baldie's Mum]

So you will need my address so you can send my invite!

[lokibird]

Sounds fantastic!!!
I worked as a wedding co-ordinator at a reception venue for many years before I became a SAHM...and while I did LOVE my job I did eventually get a bit "meh" with all the same-old, conventional ones that are still so poplular today. When I did meet couples who wanted to celebrate in a creative and different fashion (and reflective of their own style and personality) it was so refreshing...I always loved those weddings the best - not the ones that had the unlimited budget (but very limited imagination).

My only advice is to perhaps try not to do EVERYTHING yourself....it sounds like you are more than capable and talented with catering, but you have to remember that you'll need time to look after yourself, relax and be pampared the night before, and the day of. The last thing you want to be doing is rushing around on your wedding day when you could be kicking back and thinking about how much you love your DF and what it will be like to married to him. Delegate - to someone you trust and who understands what you want.

Enjoy your planning - I hope we get to see a few photos when it all comes together.:)

[MountainGirl]

lol! Yeah Maire was saying she went to a wedding there.. I have been suggesting to DF but the draw on his inner goth of having a party in the cemetary is outweighed by his rebelious anti-establishment anti- church tradition.
*even* though we obviously wouldn't get married in the church, probably behind in under that lovely big ..fig or something tree..

I was,going to talk to them, you know they might just be cool with it..

But - it looks like we may end up doing just something very similar to your first suggestion, My mum lives in this little zilion year old hippy shack that is literally on the beachfront at lennox head.

I'm thinking I'll make some lovely chinese lanterns to hang through all the trees and hang some old french antigue candelabras - that I've been collecting in the trees.. and set up some small tables like a garden party scattered in her backyard looking out on the ocean and the headland on the grass and the sand if its low tide.. That way we can dance on the sand with some fire torches instead of a dance floor.

and get married under her frangipani tree and I'll just do a load of cooking for a few days as we'll only be inviting 40 of the most special people to us..

So I reckon I can find a way to do all the food and make my own cake..
And found a place I can get masses of boxes of flowers delivered to my mums house in bulk, so spend 300 bucks on masses of lillies and roses and jounquils and lavender and lilacs and everything of nice smellyness..

Buy a few cases of french champers and beer for those inclined and few bottles of spirits and make up big jugs of 2 types of cocktails ( DF's and My fave cocktail of course)

Oh and get a friends kinda well knownish (in the punk scene:p:p) Punk band are gonna play for free, and one of them is bringing some friends that can play string instrument to play an instrumental song of Tool's for us to 'walk down the aisle' too. And my mums friends more chilled band is gonna play after that for the oldies..

And some other invited friends are bringing their poi and sticks and stuff for fire breathing..

And another invited friend is a photographer and doing that as a pressie!!

It's gonna be awesome!!:smiliedance:

I'm really looking forward to it actually.
Never thought I'd say that.

and it's not even that weird.
Just a party at my mammas.

perfect,.perfect,.perfect!:goodvibes:

[jag5000]

zomg! that sounds amazing Zel! :goodvibes:

I want to do my wedding over now! LOL

[tga86]

have you thought of having it at a theme park or exhibition?? certainly not traditional but a lot of them have function rooms and some even let you in early if you ask, possibly cost extra...

i'll let you know if i think of anything else.
Good Luck

[Tam-I-Am]

Best wedding I've ever been to was in a BIG backyard, with lots of picnic rugs thrown about the place, and lunch was served in picnic baskets. Everyone kicked off their shoes and listened to an awesome jazz band. Was really lovely, laid back, fun. No seating arrangements, no awful stiltedness - everyone just having a good chat and a good time.