I think it is so sad that parents put leashes/harnesses on their children !!!

[danemwalker]

It makes me feel sick when I see children in harnesses/leashes....

Makes me feel like they are treated as little animals..

I know there are parents out there that say its a necessary evil and they would rather use them then have a missing child and I agree no one wants a missing child BUT MY GOD there has to be another way..

And buying one that doubles as a backpack or a toy on thier back dosent fool anyone.

If you can hold the strap of the leash why cant you just hold thier hand ??????????????:no:

[jaq]

Your children are welcome not to wear harnesses, Dane, and I'm sorry it makes you sad when I put one on my toddler.

When it has saved her life, and she loves it so much she is begging to have it on, I'm not going to waste any time being sad.

(And I DO hold her hand. The handle goes over my arm, and I hold her hand. With my elder daughter holding my other hand. And oh - possibly grasping the odd package here and there. Because like all mothers I have three hands.)

Please don't judge other people's decisions when you haven't walked on their streets, dealt with their runaway toddlers, or had the heart knocked out of you by a near miss.

[mum_I'm_hungry]

:laughing: am actually wondering if you have a child (or one that is yet to crawl, anyway). My second is such a 'little animal' that up until recently (almost three years) I rarely took him to the shops, or near water etc.. I can only dream that Mr Independent would 'hold my hand' for an extended period of time!

Any parent using a 'leash' is a parent who is actively looking after their child -- making sure he/she doesn't run away. You know, looking after their welfare. I would save your venting for parents who don't give a damn.

[melbryan]

I s'pose until you have a child that runs off all the time and doesn't allow you hold their hand then I s'pose you can't judge. SOme children just want to walk some won't sit in a pram so it is what works best. My middle son is quite happy nnot to walk 5 steps away from me but my others just run and run and my 18mth old ran down the back of th epre-school to a creek for me it's safety. I don't really care what people think cause they don't have to deal with my child. I have 2 leashes attach to my pram I go shopping with all 4 children under 5 yrs old and even make the 4 yr old hold the leash when we cross the road.

[Mrs Nietzsche]

Out of curiousity dane do you have children?

[FiveInTheBed]

Sorry..but unless you can tell me how I look after my DS1 who is 4 and my DD& DS2 who are both 2 ...are all very independant and like to walk by themselves (and I like to encourage their growth and independence!!)..and all quiet spirited I will add... and how I handle a trolley (can't push a pram and trolley at the same time..let alone hold the hand of three kiddies and push a trolley at the same time!!) - safey...

They do not get pulled or dragged around..they actually LOVE putting on their monkey and froggy back pack!!
I do not want my child/ren squished by a car or lost in a supermarket...!!!

I LOVE OUR HARNESSES..and until I have CONFIDENCE that all my kids can walk by my side without risk - then and only then will I stop using them - regardless of judgement - cheers :goodvibes:

[kiwibird27]

Better than them getting hit by a bus.. some kids NEED them due to many reason.. have u ever seen an autistic child take off screaming down the road just for fun...... No stopping them!!!

[Fuchsia!]

I agree with you OP. It makes me feel sad and i cringe everytime i see it.

But hey, not my kid so not my problem. If others want to do it then go for it.

[mum_I'm_hungry]

Ah, just looked it up. No kids yet, I see. Good luck to you on your parenting journey, love. I'm sure most of us said something like this before we actually had kids ;)

[Mummaholic]

I used to feel the same way before I had my *ahem* spirited toddler. Now I realise why they are necessary. Some children never stray from a parent's side, and that's nice for them. My son is not like this :laughing: I prefer to keep him safe.

Also, he much prefers it to the pram - it gives him a sense of freedom. I do hold his hand while he wears it, it is in case he runs off, especially near a road.

Not really trying to 'fool' anyone with the stuffed animal but he loves it, he also loves to put it on and walk around the house wearing it.

My suggestion would be - don't use one as you are obviously against them. Just don't waste too much of your time getting sad about MY choices, as they keep MY son safe.

[Fuchsia!]

I don't think not having kids really has anything to do with it, I felt the same before I had kids and I still feel the same about it now

[Bunnyhugs]

You know what? I hate seeing it too but I don't think it's cruel or anything like that. Obviously these parents are at their wits end and need to do something to make sure that their kids are safe.

I've never used one. It's one thing I said I'd never do and so far I haven't. BUT, my child listened to me and when he first wanted to walk rather than be in the pram/stroller we made him realise that he had to hold our hand (or we held his wrist). Those were his options, pram or hold hands, and he accepted that. It didn't take long and he would just walk beside us or close to us, and if he got too far ahead he'd come back when we told him to.

Some kids aren't like that though and he's our first. I don't know what it would be like to have twins and a baby in a pram, etc etc.

So yeah, I don't like seeing it but I can see the reason behind it.

[meggs]

I actually dont have a problem with them and certainly dont view children who use them as anything like an animal...My toddler has just started walking and I wanted one while we were travelling so she could walk around the airport and stuff but close to me but my husband didnt..my child is not in to holding my hand at this stage but it would give her a chance to burn some energy... Id def rather use one that have my child who can run off very quickly get lost....

[FiveInTheBed]

..and I agree I think many assumptions can be made pre kids...
I swore I would never XYZ..I actually think I said I would never put one of those "leashes" on MY CHILD...but now I have children...they are my LIFE..and I see these backpacks with tails as an extension of my hands/arms/love and protection :D

[sueliz]

Wow - a little harsh in the judgement there I think. I have a 3 yr old and an 18mth old and am pregnant with my 3rd. My 3 yr old is a dream - will hold onto the pram, or my hand and never wander far from me. My 18mth old is so far the complete opposite. I am starting to have a breakthrough with getting him to hold onto the stroller if I have it with me, but he gets distracted easily and can just start to take off. They are just 2 very different children. I actually don't like to use the harness myself, but have never, ever judged someone else for using one. If it comes down to necessity for me, I will definitely use one. I even have one of those monkey ones. What would make me devestated is if one of my children disappear or run out suddenly in front of a car. Or if this happens to someone else's child for that matter.
A parent concerned about the safety of their child should make you pleased, not sad.

[Team Blue]

Whilst Ive never had to use them on my children.... walk a mile OP...

[mum_I'm_hungry]

I don't think not having kids really has anything to do with it, I felt the same before I had kids and I still feel the same about it now

Sure, but you're not spewing bile about others' use of harnesses, are you? I don't care for them either and have never used one, but if I saw someone using one, I'd be more likely to think, 'Must be a real bolter!' than, 'Ooohhh, look at that negligent parent treating their child like the family dog!'.

Seriously, I'd be printing this and putting it in an envelope to take out and read in three years time. I know it gave me a good laugh when my mum reminded me the other day how I'd told her, post-baby, we'd still go out to eat all the time and spend our Sunday mornings in a coffee shop reading the newspaper as per usual, just with kids with us. Got a great laugh out of that one now I have a 5.5 year old and a 2.5 year old! :laughing:

[bada]

I'll tell you what makes me sadder, knowing a family friend's little boy would be alive today if he had had one on. If he had been wearing one he would not have run onto the road and been killed by a car, while his mum was carrying his baby sister and holding his older brother's hand.

Also Dane, I hope you never use a cot because you know that's just the same as putting your child in a cage

[Hollywood]

The only tim I have used one was when DS was about 18 months old. I used to let him out of the pram on the way home from the shops and the road is a busy main road. If we were walking along there during peak hour the road right next to us was a clearway and the cars were zooming by at 60-70k/hr.

It was either put the harness on him or risk having him dart out into the path of those cars. I shudder to think what could have happened without the harness because DS was so unpredictable.

He's much better now, but I still have to keep my eyes on him 100% on the main roads.

OP, you might change your mind on some things when you actually have kids, and you shouldn't judge what other parents do when you don't know what it's like to have a child.

[Mischief]

Hmmmm... Im guessing you dont have children, or at the very least children who are not running yet.

I dislike leashes too, but I can safely tell you that its worth the indignity if it saves your child from injury or worse!

We used them when we went to Melbourne, my child is fast, he can pull out of a hand grip before you can blink and be gone at a great rate of knots.

Whats worse than a leash??

A parent with a death grip on their screaming toddlers arm or hand, tight enough to hang on to them 100% usually means tight enough to be hurting them.

[~Temet Nosce~]

Wow.. and I feel so sad and irritated that you feel that way.
Once you have actually had your child and you have a runaway toddler, you won't understand, and once you possibly find yourself needing to use one, I hope you receive the same judgement ;)

walk a mile in someones shoes before judging..

eta. I should read threads before posting, seems everyone else has had the same reply :laughing:

I just get so sick of seeing sh!t like this. Seriously, just get your eyes off my leashed child then and go judge something else. grrr..

[Fuchsia!]

So when the OP actually does have children and they are runaways and she still holds the same opinion, will that be ok?

[Refresh]

How VERY judgemental of you.

I can GUARANTEE that nearly all of the parents that have used these are not sitting there thinking..."OH, my child is no more than a dog to me...I might as well chain them up" :rolleyes:

I can GUARANTEE it is because they love them and treasure them and do not want to lose them that they choose this option for the short time in their life that they are toddlers.

Can you explain to me how it is worse then strapping them into a pram??? From what I have seen, they are actually happier because they are more free to do what toddlers like to do...walk by themselves and explore.

I do not use one because my current toddler is not a runner offerer. I however DID borrow one to use when we did a long haul flight to Germany, via Dubai last year. My DD was 20 months, our boys were 8 and 4 and I was 7 months pregnant. I can tell you it was out of nothing but the fear of losing my precious little DD who is the most beautiful little blonde thing you have ever seen that we decided to put one on here for getting on and off planes and waiting at HUGELY busy airports...when we were sleep deprived. It was also because we knew it wouldn't be fair to her to strap her into a pram when she had been contained on an aeroplane for so long.

I was actually mostly scared of someone coming and snatching her, that was the main reason I chose to use it.

Please think before you judge :shame::shame:

[Fuchsia!]

runner offerer.

*snorts* :laughing: :p

[Livvey]

Hmmm, each to their own. Whilst you are entitled to your opinion, it its just that, your opinion.

We have just bought one for DS, and yes it is one of those 'disguised' ones, a little monkey, and very cute. He cuddles it and kisses it. My Mum had me in a harness when i was a small child. My son will also be wearing one when he doesn't want to be in the pram, or trolley, or will walk with us without running off. Of course only in some situations where safety is a concern.

I tend to agree with other people on this one, until you have been there yourself, please don't be judgmental of others. We all, at some stage before our parenting journey begun, had idealistic views on things such as this. But living it changes things.

Good luck with the upcoming birth of your little one :)

[Bunnyhugs]

Also Dane, I hope you never use a cot because you know that's just the same as putting your child in a cage


Wow.. and I feel so sad and irritated that you feel that way. How ignorant.

Don't you think this is a bit harsh? The OP was expressing how she felt about a topic and rather than try to educate her, people are attacking her.

We all said, before we had kids, 'I'll never do that with my child', think back - how would you have felt if you'd been attacked in this way?

Walk a mile, indeed.

[Refresh]

*snorts* :laughing: :p

Whaaaa? That's a word 'aint it?? :p

[~Temet Nosce~]

So when the OP actually does have children and they are runaways and she still holds the same opinion, will that be ok?
perhaps but I find people who have kids are usually much more understanding of peoples needs, and don't usually judge parents who use them. Most people I know anyway.

[Hollywood]

Don't you think this is a bit harsh? The OP was expressing how she felt about a topic and rather than try to educate her, people are attacking her.

We all said, before we had kids, 'I'll never do that with my child', think back - how would you have felt if you'd been attacked in this way?

Walk a mile, indeed.

Because leashes can mean the difference between life and death (as someone earlier said, she knows of a toddler who DIED when he ran on the road and was hit by a car :(). So when someone without kids comes here and berates parents for doing something out of sheer LOVE for their children, she can expect to get jumped on a bit for being so judgemental.

[Bunnyhugs]

Because leashes can mean the difference between life and death (as someone earlier said, she knows of a toddler who DIED when he ran on the road and was hit by a car :(). So when someone without kids comes here and berates parents for doing something out of sheer LOVE for their children, she can expect to get jumped on a bit for being so judgemental.

Yes, that incident is very sad and regrettable but obviously the OP wasn't aware of such reasons. Why not educate rather than attack is the point I'm trying to make.

[FiveInTheBed]

I'll tell you what makes me sadder, knowing a family friend's little boy would be alive today if he had had one on. If he had been wearing one he would not have run onto the road and been killed by a car, while his mum was carrying his baby sister and holding his older brother's hand.

Also Dane, I hope you never use a cot because you know that's just the same as putting your child in a cage

:hugs::hugs:

hmmmm..good point about the cot!!



OP...the harness is not around my child's neck, choking them it is a back pack!

Sorry for the repeated posts, but to log in and read a post like this, after spending the day at the shops yesterday with three quite well behaved children...who are LEARNING how to walk nicely - two with the aid of a harness...I now think "oh what is EVERYONE at the shops thinking of me..am I a terribel parent , a mother who can't control her children, a mother who must fed her kids out of a dish on the floor - because it's obvious I treat them like an animal!!...
blerghh...
I try so hard not to give a FIG about what others think, but it's hard when people obviuosly feel so strongly about such a little thing!!

When I attempt the shops holding hands, I end up doing that 'death grip' mischeif was talking about...and when i'm trying to hold on to me purchases, and pick a kid up off the floor, it takes TWO seconds for the other one to get distracted and wander off or worse run off.


Would like to hear from you again OP, to see if you have changed your opinion slightly!
Maybe..hmmm "they are not for me, but I now am trying to understand WHY some people use them"

:goodvibes:

[Luna Lovegood]

You know what- I am not too keen on harnesses either, but unfortunately my toddler hasn't quite learnt how to negotiate and she doesn't quite understand why she has to stay with me as we walk down the crowded streets of the city in peak hour...

Until she can do the above, I would rather have her on a "leash" like a dog, because it is better than her running under a bus. I am sure you will understand this one day- it comes with the experience of beng a parent.

[Blueberry Crumble]

I wish I had a bloody leash when my 3 year old did a runner in target the other day and we lost him completely for a good ten minutes. I wander if they come with collars as well?

[workin'mumof2]

when you have an autistic child you have no other choice as you do not know when there going to be set off and run.

you know what i find sad. is that you think you have the right to judge me and say im treating my child like an animal when in fact im just protecting him from being killed

[Refresh]

Would like to hear from you again OP, to see if you have changed your opinion slightly!
Maybe..hmmm "they are not for me, but I now am trying to understand WHY some people use them"

I agree.:)

[SorenLorensen]

ahhh cool, so you would prefer to see my kid under a car then yeah ?? or say lost perhaps ??
personally a distressed or hurt child makes me feel sick.

i DO hold her hand, i have the harness looped around my hand as a precaution. my daughter is not a naughty kid, she does not run off and what not but she is a day dreamer and goes off in her little world.
this may surprise some but.....im actually not perfect :eek:, sometimes i have my mind on something else like say my other child, watching where im going, my god she can get lost if i close my eyes for the 2 seconds it takes to sneeze.
shocking i know, i actually have now admitted that my child has the possibility to wonder off.
i prefer to have a precaution to prevent this from happening.


im sorry that when you see parents like me with our kids in harnesses you feel sick, i feel for you, no really i do. perhaps stay at home or dont look if it makes you feel sick:), i dont mind if you and people like you avoid me and my kids.....trust me, i really dont.

[JabberJaw]

Ha Ha Ha

When you have a spirited child, or 2 even close in age, i feel you will possibly reconsider your stance on this matter.

I never use to like them either, but my opinion didnt count for much then because i had no independant children, who liked to walk, and run away.

:babydust2: May you be blessed with your own spirited child, a runner :D :wizard:

[~Temet Nosce~]

I wish I had a bloody leash when my 3 year old did a runner in target the other day and we lost him completely for a good ten minutes. I wander if they come with collars as well?
or a shocker that zaps them everytime they whinge for something :laughing:

eta. just a question OP, if you don't like them, what other ways would you go about controlling your child? Just curious, as you said there must be a better way.. other than a pram, I haven't found one yet.

(I love my pram soo much :D makes life a breeze)

[bada]

Don't you think this is a bit harsh? The OP was expressing how she felt about a topic and rather than try to educate her, people are attacking her.

We all said, before we had kids, 'I'll never do that with my child', think back - how would you have felt if you'd been attacked in this way?

Walk a mile, indeed. :confused:I never attacked and I don't think what I wrote was harsh at all. Why do you think ppl use a cot? Pretty much the same reason ppl use a harness, to keep their children safe.


Yes, that incident is very sad and regrettable but obviously the OP wasn't aware of such reasons. Why not educate rather than attack is the point I'm trying to make.

Again what I wrote was not an attack and should serve to educate.

[~Candy~]

The harnesses are awesome....If I didn't use one when we took our toddler to Dreamworld (we had a yr pass, so we went often) he would be trampled into the ground!!

Ppl are too busy looking at things, they don't see a little one run out infront of them, they walk straight into him and knock him to the ground...they feel bad, my little one is hurt and I'm frustrated because he wont hold my hand.

So..I got the harness, he still got to run about and I was able to stop him running into ppl and I was also able to stop him falling if he tripped.

:thumbsup:

[Jensha]

At the end of the day. If a harness is going to keep a child safe in crowds or near car parks. I would rather my child safe then at risk of being snatched or run near cars. It can happen in a second. They don't look like pet leases. I think the animal backpack ones are quite cute and if you don't know what they are you wouldn't even know it was a lease.
If you don't like them - Don't use them. But it's others choice if they want to. There not that bad. Just a safety precaution.

[Refresh]

or a shocker that zaps them everytime they whinge for something :laughing:

Hmmm, that's a bit harsh....each to there own though of course...I prefer a gentler method like carrying a spray bottle to spray water in their face when they are naughty :yes::yes:


:p

[jaq]

I wish I had a bloody leash when my 3 year old did a runner in target the other day and we lost him completely for a good ten minutes. I wander if they come with collars as well?

What is it about Target? We BOUGHT our harness after Annika ran off in Target and lost herself for 45 minutes (!) just before she turned 2. My little one is now showing exactly the same characteristics (she is a runner offerer :laughing:) so doesn't go anywhere near those shops without a harness!

OP, something else you may not have considered. We are a Montessori family, and the pram is a big no-no in Montessori. Children are encouraged to get out of the pram and walk as soon as they are able to do so ... being strapped in a pram stops them from engaging with their environment and learning from it.

A child walking (safely, in a harness, in our case) will take the parent where they want to walk, will stop to look at flowers, leaves (stones, doggie doo, cracks in the footpath etc etc), and will be much more alert and engaged with the world than a child in a pram.

We have had Sofia - 2 and a bit - in the pram maybe twice in six months. Hence we use the harness quite a lot.

(This is not an attack on people who use prams. Just demonstrating some thinking behind why children might need protection. :yes:)

[~Temet Nosce~]

Hmmm, that's a bit harsh....each to there own though of course...I prefer a gentler method like carrying a spray bottle to spray water in their face when they are naughty :yes::yes:


:p
:laughing: worked for my cat!

but seriously, nobody ever really bats an eyelid at kids strapped in prams.. but its the same thing, if not worse, if you ask me. Being pushed around with no choice in where to go completely strapped in.
Meh, at least I can still get away with using my pram for dd without looking like she's my pet to the prying eye of the public, lol.

Oh I know, maybe we should start carrying them in our handbags :laughing:

[Refresh]

I agree about the pram thing....actually, I said it before both of you in my ealier post :raspberry::raspberry:

Little kids want to be out and explore and the harnesses let them do that while they are learning to walk by your side. Nobody bats an eyelid about a child strapped into a pram :confused:

I am also not having a go at prams!! We love ours!

OP, I would like to see how you would respond to that comparison :) Are you not going to use a pram?

[MountainGirl]

I can't stand them either,...:no:

and I have 3 children,...

4.5, 2.5 and 11months.

Does that entitle me to an opinion?:rolleyes:

[bada]

Originally Posted by Jbelle http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?p=3781895#post3781895)
I wish I had a bloody leash when my 3 year old did a runner in target the other day and we lost him completely for a good ten minutes.

What is it about Target? We BOUGHT our harness after Annika ran off in Target and lost herself for 45 minutes (!) just before she turned 2.

I found a lost child in Target just last week :yes:

[sandy cheeks]

I find lot's of things sick child slave workers, children being constantly fed junk food, abuse of power but a parents choice to protect their child I think not.
There r plenty of worse thing's parents do they r only trying to protect their kids I dont know why some people r so horrified by it.
My ds has always been a explorer and has always wanted to see everything so rather that me hold him by the hand or let him just run off he was on a harness this way he could freely explore his surrounds without me constantly holding his hand or picking him up and moving him he loved it never affected him in the slightest I wish I could get one on him now:laughing:

[Refresh]

Well, parents who shop at Target AND take their kids there are clearly just negligent then, duhhh :rolleyes::rolleyes:






:p

[Luna Lovegood]

I can't stand them either,...:no:

and I have 3 children,...

4.5, 2.5 and 11months.

Does that entitle me to an opinion?:rolleyes:

It isn't a question of being entitled to an opinion, it is about judging people and ignorance.

[Manxie]

I think its so sad that I almost ran over a womans child last week after storytime at the library. Perhaps if he had been restrained in some manner he wouldnt have run away from his mum and been lurking behind my car. I only saw him as he ran out from behind me and ran straight across the road.

I dont care what people use to keep their kids safepram/backpack etc I have used both. At least my kids are here to tell the tale. Unfortunately this woman's nearly wasnt.

[mum2bubba]

Well, I think its sad that you have to judge other people for using them.

If you don't want to use one, then don't. But there are many of us that need to otherwise our children will run off and get lost or whatever. My kids don't always want to hold my hand and I'd rather have them on a leash them have them a) throw a huge tantrum and b) something happen to them.

A few days ago I lost my eldest at the local shopping center. She was gone for just 5 minutes but it was the longest 5 minutes of my life. Luckily nothing happened to her and some nice couple found her for me. I kept telling her the whole time we were out to stay with me (usually she sits in the tandem pram with her sister but shes getting a bit too big for a pram now and wants to walk everywhere, plus we only had the single pram at the time). If I had of brought the harness/leash (we haven't had to use it for ages as shes usually pretty good and stays with me) this would not have happened.

Please understand the reasons why some of us have to use them. Its not because we're treating out children like animals at all. Its not as though we take them home, put them in a kennel and give them a bone for crying out loud. :rolleyes:

Please don't judge others until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

Holy judgments Batman!

[Refresh]

It isn't a question of being entitled to an opinion, it is about judging people and ignorance.

'Zactly.....

I don't particularly LOVE them either and have only ever used one for our overseas trip and then only in the airports....BUT I would not think for a second that people who use them regularly think of their children as animals :confused:

[Mummaholic]

I don't debate the fact that OP is entitled to her opinion however I think she will be in a better position to understand when her children are walking/running about.

I find it odd she has such a passionate, judgemental opinion on it, I don't suggest that everyone must use one as I do but perhaps that she could try to understand why others do rather than feeling physically ill.

It is really no different to a pram if you ask me, I love my pram too and also my sling(s).

[Jensha]

Oh I know, maybe we should start carrying them in our handbags :laughing:
:laughing:

[HelenHasTwins]

It makes me feel sick when I see children in harnesses/leashes....

Makes me feel like they are treated as little animals..

I know there are parents out there that say its a necessary evil and they would rather use them then have a missing child and I agree no one wants a missing child BUT MY GOD there has to be another way..

And buying one that doubles as a backpack or a toy on thier back dosent fool anyone.

If you can hold the strap of the leash why cant you just hold thier hand ??????????????:no:

I have twins and I will probly be using these, and I don't think it is sad at all......if I am on my own and can't hold both of them or they are not in the pram I will want them to be safe, my childs safety comes first!

[Refresh]

Oh I know, maybe we should start carrying them in our handbags

:laughing::laughing:

[MountainGirl]

It isn't a question of being entitled to an opinion, it is about judging people and ignorance.

I disagree,.. it has nothing to do with ignorance. This is the OP's opinion. who are you to say that she is ignorant? I hate the harnesses too,...does this make me ignorant? No,.. because I have children?

As for judging,.. well,..sorry,.but that's just human nature. This entire site is based around people commenting on/discussing and 'judging' other people's parenting methods. Why is this issue any different? Do we just discount her thoughts because she doesn't have kids? :confused:

[Refresh]

I disagree,.. it has nothing to do with ignorance. This is the OP's opinion. who are you to say that she is ignorant? I hate the harnesses too,...does this make me ignorant? No,.. because I have children?

As for judging,.. well,..sorry,.but that's just human nature. This entire site is based around people commenting on/discussing and 'judging' other people's parenting methods. Why is this issue any different? Do we just discount her thoughts because she doesn't have kids? :confused:

I don't discount her thoughts because she doesn't have kids....I am offended that she thinks that people are treating their chidren like 'little animals." OMGosh, as I said, I used one once when I was terrified of DD being snatched or trampled or lost at the airport...I can assure you that I do not think of my gorgeous, gorgeous little princess as an animal :(

That is what people are taking offence to....because I am pretty sure most parents don't think of their kids as animals and to assume that we do is just horrible.

[MountainGirl]

and TBH, I don't understand why you can't teach your kids to walk beside you in a controlled manner. (SN kiddies aside),.. We manage to teach our kids to eat at the dining table,..to use the toilet,...to put their toys away,.etc,.. what's the difference? IMO, it's just an extension of teaching kids manners.

[Mummaholic]

Judging is different from having a different opinion or even disagreeing.

I don't use cloth nappies as they don't suit my lifestyle but it does not make me sick that others do.

I don't use elimination communication but that doesn't worry me either.

Each to their own.

Hmmm perhaps we do teach our children to do so but not all children are carbon copies of each other and not all will do as they are asked even when they are taught to do so. I don't understand why you don't seem to understand all kids are different. JMHO.

[Refresh]

and TBH, I don't understand why you can't teach your kids to walk beside you in a controlled manner. (SN kiddies aside),.. We manage to teach our kids to eat at the dining table,..to use the toilet,...to put their toys away,.etc,.. what's the difference? IMO, it's just an extension of teaching kids manners.

I agree to a point but then, I do not have other people's children....I teach my kids that, my toddlers have all walked very well beside me because I insist on it...it is more other people I do not trust...

[MountainGirl]

I agree to a point but then, I do not have other people's children....I teach my kids that, my toddlers have all walked very well beside me because I insist on it...it is more other people I do not trust...


What do you mean 'other people'? As in other people snatching them?

[bAaM]

I dont think its something anyone can judge a parent on.

I use one when its needed. but i HAVE to.

If my DD is protesting going in a pram and wants to walk, Its not as easy for me to just ' hold her hand'.

My DD has elbow issuse, they pop out of there sockets if strained so all it would take is me holding her hand, her to trip (as toddlers do) and me to use an automatic reflux in pulling her up as she fell and her elbow would pop out, then we would have to go sit at the hospital for hours to get xrays ect to make sure it going back in right. So until you have all the details on every parent that uses them I dont think anyone should judge.

[WorkingClassMum]

It makes me feel sick when I see children in harnesses/leashes....

Makes me feel like they are treated as little animals..

I know there are parents out there that say its a necessary evil and they would rather use them then have a missing child and I agree no one wants a missing child BUT MY GOD there has to be another way..

And buying one that doubles as a backpack or a toy on thier back dosent fool anyone.

If you can hold the strap of the leash why cant you just hold thier hand ??????????????:no:

I am so sorry that you feel the necessity to make a broad sweeping statement that is judgemental

It is is obvious that you have not had the experiences of parent with children that need the extra restraint.

I am sorry that you find it offensive that other parents are legally doing what they need to do to keep their child safe.

Have you ever tried to hold the hand of a child that doesn't want to be held - obviously your experience is limited and you haven't had the heart wrenching experience of child wriggling their little paw out of your vice like gripe and watching a young child run directly into traffic into the path of a car? Did you know that your heart stops before the car can?

Have you ever searched a shopping centre in a paroxym of fear after your child has done their 6th runner in a row? As the shops shut and you and the security guards all stand their helpless wondering what to do next while you're waiting for the cops to respond? I've run out of tears and patience with my DD - maybe you could spend your energy looking after her rather than casting aspertions.

I'll just assume that you are ignorant while you assume I'm mistreating my child

[Luna Lovegood]

I disagree,.. it has nothing to do with ignorance. This is the OP's opinion. who are you to say that she is ignorant? I hate the harnesses too,...does this make me ignorant? No,.. because I have children?

As for judging,.. well,..sorry,.but that's just human nature. This entire site is based around people commenting on/discussing and 'judging' other people's parenting methods. Why is this issue any different? Do we just discount her thoughts because she doesn't have kids? :confused:

It is ignorance. It is ignorant of others children and their behavious and family beliefs. It is ignorant of the families previous experiences. Making such a broad judgemental statement is ignorant.

I get they're not for everyone, but to be so anti them without considering the usefulness is ignorance.

Please read the below PP's coments, it gives a good understanding of some of the benefits of harnesses.


I almost ran over a womans child last week after storytime at the library. Perhaps if he had been restrained in some manner he wouldnt have run away from his mum and been lurking behind my car. I only saw him as he ran out from behind me and ran straight across the road.


We are a Montessori family, and the pram is a big no-no in Montessori. Children are encouraged to get out of the pram and walk as soon as they are able to do so ... being strapped in a pram stops them from engaging with their environment and learning from it.



when you have an autistic child you have no other choice as you do not know when there going to be set off and run.



I'll tell you what makes me sadder, knowing a family friend's little boy would be alive today if he had had one on. If he had been wearing one he would not have run onto the road and been killed by a car, while his mum was carrying his baby sister and holding his older brother's hand.

[Refresh]

What do you mean 'other people'? As in other people snatching them?

Yes...well as was the case when we were in the huge airports overseas, especially Dubai, that place is just crazy, espcially after umpteem hours on a plane with a pregnant belly and 3 children. Airports make me nervous at the best of times. Also, just people in a hurry with bags on wheels, not looking where they are going. I don't think I was wrong to use one in this instance:no: It would have been crueler of me to strap her into a pram after being on the plane for all those hours...that was the motivation behind it.

[Luna Lovegood]

and TBH, I don't understand why you can't teach your kids to walk beside you in a controlled manner. (SN kiddies aside),.. We manage to teach our kids to eat at the dining table,..to use the toilet,...to put their toys away,.etc,.. what's the difference? IMO, it's just an extension of teaching kids manners.

While I am teaching my DD to walk by my side, I still rather have a harness on her for her safety and my piece of mind- she is only 14 months.

[Refresh]

Yep, learning is a process!

[MountainGirl]

It is ignorance. It is ignorant of others children and their behavious and family beliefs. It is ignorant of the families previous experiences. Making such a broad judgemental statement is ignorant.

I get they're not for everyone, but to be so anti them without considering the usefulness is ignorance.

Please read the below PP's coments, it gives a good understanding of some of the benefits of harnesses.

I 'get' the "benefits", (not a word I would have used though!:o),... but honestly think that there is a better way than restraining a child with a leash.

I am very anti them,..consequently not needing to consider their 'usefulness/convenience' etc,... but that does NOT make me ignorant. I just CHOOSE a different method.

[MountainGirl]

Yes...well as was the case when we were in the huge airports overseas, especially Dubai, that place is just crazy, espcially after umpteem hours on a plane with a pregnant belly and 3 children. Airports make me nervous at the best of times. Also, just people in a hurry with bags on wheels, not looking where they are going. I don't think I was wrong to use one in this instance:no: It would have been crueler of me to strap her into a pram after being on the plane for all those hours...that was the motivation behind it.

fair enough too!

[~Temet Nosce~]

For what its worth, on the odd occasion I let my dd out of the confinements of her pram, and into the harness, she always holds my hand too. In fact she ASKS me for my hand, its her security thing. But not all kids are like that, not all kids can just be taught, I'm just lucky that my dd does willingly hold my hand.
Why do I use a harness then? She often sees something that she likes and will just go for it. So at least if she does let go of my hand and run off, I will have the strap around my wrist to stop her without any quick thinking needed from me, as it is often a matter of split seconds.

Lets face it, young toddlers have the attention span of a fish.

[Luna Lovegood]

I 'get' the "benefits", (not a word I would have used though!:o),... but honestly think that there is a better way than restraining a child with a leash.

I am very anti them,..consequently not needing to consider their 'usefulness/convenience' etc,... but that does NOT make me ignorant. I just CHOOSE a different method.

I never said you were ignorant, I meant the OP's post was ignorant.

I totally understand your point of view, and am impressed with your success in not using them.

:shakehands:

[Refresh]

fair enough too!

:)

:)

[BabelFish]

My DD isn't walking yet but I have a feeling she's going to be the sort who'll run off no matter what I say to her!! :laughing:

BUT - there are two sides to every story.

Scarlett, I'm thrilled for you that you have the sort of children who will do what you say, every time, without any diversions from that, and that you are such wonderful parents that you've been able to do with them what many haven't been able to with their own children. You are very lucky, but I'm sure you'll acknowledge that it isn't always that cut and dried. I know many, many parents who do the same things - teach their children manners, teach them right from wrong, teach them how to behave, and most of the time their kids do. But, being kids and all kids being different, there are some children who won't listen no matter how patient and good at teaching them you are. There are some people out there who are single mothers with three children and have different circumstances to you. There are some people out there with autistic children who have more difficulty understanding patient teaching and who do what they want to whenever they want to, regardless of what you've taught them. There are some families out there with kids like that who aren't autistic.

It's not fair to paint everyone with the `well, obviously you just haven't taught them well enough' brush just because you have the kind of children who respond well to that. There's plenty of things that can be accomplished with teaching manners, rules and boundaries, and it's my opinion that 95% of parents out there do exactly that, with varying degrees of success. Just because they may not have had the same level of success as you, it doesn't mean that they have tried any less hard or are worse parents than you are. I know you didn't say that, but it was certainly implied. All kids are individuals, they're all different, every family has a different situation and until you've been the mother to every, single child out there, I don't think it's fair to assume that other parents just aren't teaching their kids how to behave.

To the OP - it's great for you to have your opinion and that's what we're here for, but the way people respond to it really does depend on how you word it. To say that parents who put leashes on their children treat them like `little animals' or try to `fool' others is certainly going to get their backs up - especially when you don't have children yourself.

That doesn't mean your opinion is invalid - jeez I used to HATE that before I had kids! That my opinion was discounted just because I didn't have them! Grrrrrr.

BUT having said that, there are so many things I said before I had kids that I just shake my head at and laugh about now. So whilst your opinion before you have kids is valid of course, sometimes it just carries more weight after you have them because you understand how they are such individuals, their own person, and you really only have a kind of peripheral influence on that. The way you raise them is vitally important, but who they are and fundamental personality is inborn.

I remember once before I had DD and I was talking to a colleague about cloth nappies. She kept shaking her head and saying `you just come back to me in six months' and I got so angry. I KNEW we were using cloth, and DD is 10 months and we still do. So in that sense I agree with jaxcoop - that there are certain things I said before I had my bub that haven't changed after I had her.

As for leashes, yes you can hold your toddler's hand - but what if you have three young children and a newborn and only two hands? What if you have to let go for a minute to attend to your other child, or pay money at a checkout, or something else? Kids are QUICK, and they know exactly the split second you're not watching. Prams are awesome but what if you have two kids in a pram and your toddler - if you hold their hand and push the pram with the other, how do you do anything else?

Some children are the kind that will do as they're told and you can trust them not to run off. Others aren't. Some will do what you say one week, and then not the next. If you can safely contain your children while still giving them independence then that is a wonderful thing, and your child's safety becomes far more important than the assumptions that people make about you as a parent.

[A Party of Five]

I do not consider a safety harness as child abuse. Letting them run around unattended should be considered neglect.

I've seen so many children no where near their parents, just walking around, trying to grab stuff off the shelf and it's dangerous. Not even factoring in the fact that someone could grab them, they could try to get something heavy that is too high on the shelf and seriously injure themselves.

[WorkingClassMum]

Don't you think this is a bit harsh? The OP was expressing how she felt about a topic and rather than try to educate her, people are attacking her.

We all said, before we had kids, 'I'll never do that with my child', think back - how would you have felt if you'd been attacked in this way?

Walk a mile, indeed.



It makes me feel sick when I see children in harnesses/leashes....



The OP feels sick about kids being in leashes...





Makes me feel like they are treated as little animals..



she thinks kids are are being treated like animals





And buying one that doubles as a backpack or a toy on thier back dosent fool anyone.

If you can hold the strap of the leash why cant you just hold thier hand ??????????????:no:

The OP admits to having no understanding , but shakes their head at parents anyhow



This post was not about trying to understand, but is judmental in it's entirity, makes no apology for having no experience, but a Holier-than-thou judgement
BUT MY GOD there has to be another way...

So - yes I feel pronounced guilty in absentia and I feel attacked and belittled.

[Hokey Pokey]

No different to being strapped in a pram harness or a carseat harness? It is a safety measure and the safety harness leads have actually saved alot of little lives. :thumbsup:

[~Temet Nosce~]

:yes: Huge difference between an opinion and a judgement. What the OP wrote was an outright judgement.
That's my opinion and I'm entitled to it! ;)

[Jensha]

:iagree: with Chesby05's post to a T.

[sandy cheeks]

I do not consider a safety harness as child abuse. Letting them run around unattended should be considered neglect.

I've seen so many children no where near their parents, just walking around, trying to grab stuff off the shelf and it's dangerous. Not even factoring in the fact that someone could grab them, they could try to get something heavy that is too high on the shelf and seriously injure themselves.

I'm with you I hate seeing toddlers just running around grabbing stuff no where near their parents drives me mental.
It's dangerous not just to them but others my friends ds once bowled over a lil old lady cos she lets him walk next to her he took off smacked into the lady and knocked her off her feet.
I'm all for teaching kids to walk beside u but some kids take longer than others to learn and some r more adventurous and will roam further than others from mum without getting scared and upset.

[SimplyMum]

I'd have to admit, I don't like them but I have used them and will use them again if I need to. It did the trick- I still have my little man with me. Thankfully he's old enough (and I only have one) to understand now so we don't use it, but if I were to take my nephew out, who is 2 and will run off the moment you let go of him- he'll be off before you even have time to open your handbag. It takes only one second- that's all.

I would use any old thing to prevent my child (or my nephews) from getting hurt. A few stares is a very small price to pay.

[reAllytee]

and TBH, I don't understand why you can't teach your kids to walk beside you in a controlled manner. (SN kiddies aside),.. We manage to teach our kids to eat at the dining table,..to use the toilet,...to put their toys away,.etc,.. what's the difference? IMO, it's just an extension of teaching kids manners.

The OP & this post make me :laughing::laughing::laughing:


Aaaah yes because those of us who have used them just cant be bothered !

*tears of laughter running down face*

[*babygirl*]

i agree with the OP...

i could NEVER do that to DD... she is the kind of child who RUNS away and she is SO FAST yet i would still never put her on a leash... to protect her and ensure she has no chance to run away i either put her in a trolley or take the pram..

i could never bring myself to do that.:no:

[Chunkydunks]

I've been lucky enough to never need to use one (yet) but I don't think that gives the right to say they should never be used or that everyone should just teach their kids to walk next to them. All kids are different. To make sweeping judgments like that isn't helpful.

[Benji]

How is it different to strapping a child in a pram/carseat/sling?

They are all designed to contain a child.

I don't use a leash with DS (only because he'd be like a feral cat and probably squirm until I take it off) but that's because he's happy to be strapped into the pram.

I don't have all day to be chasing a toddler, nor would I want to risk an incident like James Bulger (rare, but has happened) happening to my precious boy. We need to keep our children with us somehow!

[Hokey Pokey]

I've been lucky enough to never need to use one (yet) but I don't think that gives the right to say they should never be used or that everyone should just teach their kids to walk next to them. All kids are different. To make sweeping judgments like that isn't helpful.

:yelclap: I agree!

[~Temet Nosce~]

i agree with the OP...

i could NEVER do that to DD... she is the kind of child who RUNS away and she is SO FAST yet i would still never put her on a leash... to protect her and ensure she has no chance to run away i either put her in a trolley or take the pram..

i could never bring myself to do that.:no:
but as stated already.. what is the difference between a pram etc. and a harness? Both use straps to confine the child, prams are even worse, they can't get out and interact with their environment..
There is no difference. It's just because society associates it with pets on leashes.

[hailsntwang]

This is hilarious! Talk about timing!!

I just got back from my butchers and he was telling me about a kid last week who almost got hit by a car right in front of the butcher shop.

This kid was on a leash and made a run for it. He darted straight across the road and if his father had not of yanked the leash back, well, the kid would not be here today.:no: He said it was an extremely close call.

The butcher said this poor father was beside himself and couldn't comprehend that one second of distraction, almost cost him his son.

He went on to say that the father had originally protested the use of the leash but took back his words after this near miss.
No leash would have equalled no son in this instance.


I will be getting one for my son (in all honesty he already needs one, he's a little escape artist when we're out and about).

I see it as a safety measure and "insurance" for my son.
One second is all it takes sometimes, just like everything else.
One second of distraction whilst driving can result in a car crash, one second of distraction can result in a seriously hurt, killed or lost child.

I know it's not for everybody but it's definitly for me and for my peace of mind.

Until I know that he will listen to me 100% he will be on the leash as a safety precaution.:o

[~Temet Nosce~]

How is it different to strapping a child in a pram/carseat/sling?

They are all designed to contain a child.

I don't use a leash with DS (only because he'd be like a feral cat and probably squirm until I take it off) but that's because he's happy to be strapped into the pram.

I don't have all day to be chasing a toddler, nor would I want to risk an incident like James Bulger (rare, but has happened) happening to my precious boy. We need to keep our children with us somehow!
snap :laughing: this thread is fast moving, didn't even see that.

[Refresh]

to protect her and ensure she has no chance to run away i either put her in a trolley or take the pram..:

Like a little caged animal?? ;)

[bada]

i agree with the OP...

i could NEVER do that to DD... she is the kind of child who RUNS away and she is SO FAST yet i would still never put her on a leash... to protect her and ensure she has no chance to run away i either put her in a trolley or take the pram..

i could never bring myself to do that.:no:

Don't you think strapping her into a pram is far more constrictive than using a leash? :confused:

[Hokey Pokey]

but as stated already.. what is the difference between a pram etc. and a harness? Both use straps to confine the child, prams are even worse, they can't get out and interact with their environment..
There is no difference. It's just because society associates it with pets on leashes.

That's it. It's the stigma that comes with it hey. If pets were originally pushed around in prams, many of us would be against using that for our children.

Maybe if parents were tying their children up to poles while they shopped, I'd be against it :rolleyes:

[Benji]

snap :laughing: this thread is fast moving, didn't even see that.

:laughing: isn't it!

I can't keep up!

[TeenyT]

but as stated already.. what is the difference between a pram etc. and a harness? Both use straps to confine the child, prams are even worse, they can't get out and interact with their environment..
There is no difference. It's just because society associates it with pets on leashes.

....as are car seats. And cots are just cages, swaddling your child is akin to a straight jacket etc etc.

Your last point is spot on. I dont use one (yet) but have never looked at another parent using one as anything other than one wanting to keep their child safe and well. As long as its not attached to a choker chain around the child's neck (and lets hope we never see THAT), its a child safety restraint, not a "leash".

[Refresh]

Maybe if parents were tying their children up to poles while they shopped, I'd be against it :rolleyes:

I knew someone once who admitted to tying her (now grownup) chlidren to the clothesline when they played in the backyard so they would not go on the road :eek:

[Hokey Pokey]

I knew someone once who admitted to tying her (now grownup) chlidren to the clothesline when they played in the backyard so they would not go on the road :eek:

Was the rope long :p

[naiwen]

I have a lovely two year old who has the physical abilities of a two year old but the rest of his development is at a 12 month old level.

In order to allow him to have a sense of independance (very important to SN children) I use a little puppy harness to enable him to safely walk with me at the shops.

I will not force him to sit in his pram with his harness all the time while I do my shopping nor will I keep him strapped to me in the Ergo the whole time unless he indicates that he wishes to be in there.

He deserves independance just like any other child who may be able to understand they have to hold mummys hand and there is no way I will take that away from him just because there are some judgemental people out there :no:.

Yay for harnesses :yelclap:.

[c38]

:rolleyes:Wondering if the OP was just bored and posted the thread to get a reaction...

IT WORKED

I can't keep up

But I'm thinking I might buy a water sprayer for DS's training...:laughing::laughing:

[MsMummy]

Wow. Popular thread.:D

I probably snickered at them pre-children (as I did everything), but I'm open to using one if my child is the running type when he starts walking.

[Hokey Pokey]

I have a lovely two year old who has the physical abilities of a two year old but the rest of his development is at a 12 month old level.

In order to allow him to have a sense of independance (very important to SN children) I use a little puppy harness to enable him to safely walk with me at the shops.

I will not force him to sit in his pram with his harness all the time while I do my shopping nor will I keep him strapped to me in the Ergo the whole time unless he indicates that he wishes to be in there.

He deserves independance just like any other child who may be able to understand they have to hold mummys hand and there is no way I will take that away from him just because there are some judgemental people out there :no:.

Yay for harnesses :yelclap:.

:yelclap::yelclap:

[Benji]

:rolleyes:Wondering if the OP was just bored and posted the thread to get a reaction...

IT WORKED

I can't keep up

But I'm thinking I might buy a water spreyer for DS's training...:laughing::laughing:

Nah works better if you rub their nose in their pee when they wet themselves :laughing: then give them a doggy treat when they go outside lmao.

[bada]

I knew someone once who admitted to tying her (now grownup) chlidren to the clothesline when they played in the backyard so they would not go on the road :eek:

My grandmother did this to my father :yes:

[~Temet Nosce~]

I knew someone once who admitted to tying her (now grownup) chlidren to the clothesline when they played in the backyard so they would not go on the road :eek:
I don't know whether to laugh or shake my head at that lol..

[Veritas]

I have one for DD but have been lucky enough not to have had to use it as yet.... If she doesn't hold my hand she gets picked up.... but there is going to come a day very soon when she is too heavy, and the safety harness may be viable....

I am lucky that I have one child, and two hands.... I couldn't imagine what it would be like trying to juggle 2, 3 or more toddlers in a busy shopping environment, or worse still near a major road, or any road/carpark for that matter.... at the end of the day children are never perfectly behaved all of the time.... these parents are taking measures to ensure the safety of their children, not treating them like animals....

These are safety devices, safety harnesses, not animal chokers and leashes.... they are not making their kids sleep outside, feeding them dry biscuits and water in a bowl on the floor, etc.... they are looking out for their kids in an uncertain world... if they didn't care or respect their children they would let them run wild, not know where they were, etc....

It is a safety device no different than any other.... you cannot predict how your child will behave, nor the nature of the people around you, so some parents feel it is an appropriate safety measure, and rightly so....

OP, I hope for your future childrens sake that you learn to accept parenting choices of others, and lose the judgemental standpoint.... nothing positive will ever come from it....

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

....as are car seats. And cots are just cages, swaddling your child is akin to a straight jacket etc etc.

Your last point is spot on. I dont use one (yet) but have never looked at another parent using one as anything other than one wanting to keep their child safe and well. As long as its not attached to a choker chain around the child's neck (and lets hope we never see THAT), its a child safety restraint, not a "leash".
Agreed.
I don't use one for DS, but I did for my DD, who at 18 months got out of her pram harness (yes it's harness too) and ran away while I was paying for groceries, right in front of me before I could stop her. She was a runner and hider.

As has been pointed out there are many things that restrain children, who gives a rats. These parents care for their children and want them safe.

I have also read that harnesses are good because the child feels freeer and more independant. The can walk along interact and take things in.

[reAllytee]

Oh but naiwen there is a ' SN kids aside ' by others in the thread ...

So apparently its ok for SN to use them because they are obviously ok to be treated as animals :rolleyes:

[JabberJaw]

i agree with the OP...

i could NEVER do that to DD... she is the kind of child who RUNS away and she is SO FAST yet i would still never put her on a leash... to protect her and ensure she has no chance to run away i either put her in a trolley or take the pram..

i could never bring myself to do that.:no:

Lucky you to have a child that will sit in a pram or trolley. Mine wont even sit in a damn highchair. :geek:

* since people believe children are being treated like animals on leashes, i wonder if my local puppy school will accept my kids and teach them to sit and fetch also. The fetching could come in very handy*

[~Temet Nosce~]

Nah works better if you rub their nose in their pee when they wet themselves :laughing: then give them a doggy treat when they go outside lmao.
:laughing: eww gross I was eating lunch and just remembered when my mum did that to our cat who constantly pooed inside.. :barf:

[sandy_1902]

32 weeks pregnatnt with a over active toddler at the shops.. yo will soon find a leash works wonders.. you can hold their hands sometimes they slip away.. if you have the leash attached they dont go far.

much better then you running down the shop trying to stop them (or should i say waddleing)


I think if you havent tried it dont knock it.

[reAllytee]

Oh & for the PP who said they would use the trolley when out ...

What exactly happens when you have a toddler who is way to big to sit in the seat :confused:

Would you sit them IN the trolley ???? You do realise the safety issues with that right :cool:

[Veritas]

Agreed.
I don't use one for DS, but I did for my DD, who at 18 months got out of her pram harness (yes it's harness too) and ran away while I was paying for groceries, right in front of me before I could stop her. She was a runner and hider.

Oh my sister was a hider too.... She used to love the old circular clothes racks and hiding in the middle.... spent many a shopping trip with mum and I calling out for her and systematically checking all the racks...

[naiwen]

Oh but naiwen there is a ' SN kids aside ' by others in the thread ...

So apparently its ok for SN to use them because they are obviously ok to be treated as animals :rolleyes:

Maybe we should send them to obedience training like puppies :p, that would stop all that norty unnaceptable behaviour :yes:.

Never mind not having any impulse control hey ;).

[Benji]

:laughing: eww gross I was eating lunch and just remembered when my mum did that to our cat who constantly pooed inside.. :barf:

ROFL :laughing: cripes, is it lunch time? I only just had breakfast :o

Gave DS dog food for breakfast of course :yes: then gave him a schmacko for sitting when commanded!

[sandy_1902]

Oh & for the PP who said they would use the trolley when out ...

What exactly happens when you have a toddler who is way to big to sit in the seat :confused:

Would you sit them IN the trolley ???? You do realise the safety issues with that right :cool:


my ds 2 likes to stand on the seat and try to jump out of the trolley.

so i would rather the harness and walking next to me.. then thinking he is the next daredevil

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

Oh my sister was a hider too.... She used to love the old circular clothes racks and hiding in the middle.... spent many a shopping trip with mum and I calling out for her and systematically checking all the racks...

Yes that's exactly what my DD did. Once I couldn't find her for 10 minutes, had gone to the police beat etc, it was very scary.

I should have just whiped her like an animal.:D that would have put a stop to it.

[MW&S]

I think it is sad that there are others are so quick to judge other parents who are just trying to protect their children. :confused:

[reAllytee]

Maybe we should send them to obedience training like puppies :p, that would stop all that norty unnaceptable behaviour :yes:.

Never mind not having any impulse control hey ;).

:laughing:

Sounds great ... Especially being that I obviously cant teach my kids manners & proper behaviour !!!

I am sure the trainers will whip 'em into shape !

[Sheer Bliss]

It makes me feel sick when I see children in harnesses/leashes....

Makes me feel like they are treated as little animals..

I know there are parents out there that say its a necessary evil and they would rather use them then have a missing child and I agree no one wants a missing child BUT MY GOD there has to be another way..

And buying one that doubles as a backpack or a toy on thier back dosent fool anyone.

If you can hold the strap of the leash why cant you just hold thier hand ??????????????:no:

No I CAN'T just hold his hand.....I have newborn twins, a 4yo and a runaway 2yo - so unless you have a magic solution that doesn't involve using his 'cow' backpack that he LOVES he will be wearing it and **** *** to anyone that says such disgusting judgemental comments.

Seriously where do you get off being so cruel, and downright rude in regards to anothers parenting tequniques? Do you 'strap' your child into their car-seat? Tying them in like an animal? How about wearing a toddler in a sling - resticting their freedom? Aren't these all similar things? They are all same variations of the same thing, a parent doing what they feel is safest for keeping their child out of harms way. (BTW - I DO strap my kids in the car and do wear my babies - I don't think they are bad, just if judging harnesses is OK, then don't we need to pass the same judgement on all other 'devices' that make children safe? :rolleyes:

[MrsTwith3]

and TBH, I don't understand why you can't teach your kids to walk beside you in a controlled manner. (SN kiddies aside),.. We manage to teach our kids to eat at the dining table,..to use the toilet,...to put their toys away,.etc,.. what's the difference? IMO, it's just an extension of teaching kids manners.
Oh to be oh so blessed with the ever so obedient child that has a mind like a robot ready to be programmed and controlled in whatever facet of life there parents want to educate them in. Geez I wish I could have a child like that instead of my very stubborn, strong willed and determined 2.5yo DS who will not to do anything HE doesnt want to do.
He is an absconder who has no interest whatsoever in holding mine or his Dads hand. We cant control him that way so we put a "leash" on him and control him that way. My kids use manners and eat at the table and my older kids no how to use a toilet too. Its all learned behaviour. My son wearing a harness is my way of helping him learn how to be able to walk safely out in the big wide world.


i agree with the OP...

i could NEVER do that to DD... she is the kind of child who RUNS away and she is SO FAST yet i would still never put her on a leash... to protect her and ensure she has no chance to run away i either put her in a trolley or take the pram..

i could never bring myself to do that.:no:
Hmmm how safe do you think trolleys are for bigger kids? It doesnt really take much to tip a trolley over with a child in it and supermarket floors are pretty hard....kind like the hardness of being hit by a car huh?


Lucky you to have a child that will sit in a pram or trolley. Mine wont even sit in a damn highchair. :geek:

* since people believe children are being treated like animals on leashes, i wonder if my local puppy school will accept my kids and teach them to sit and fetch also. The fetching could come in very handy*

I wonder if I can take my 2.5yo to puppy school to teach him to use the toilet and to become submissive to me considering I must be his master as I put him on a leash:rolleyes:

[Livvey]

Oh & for the PP who said they would use the trolley when out ...

What exactly happens when you have a toddler who is way to big to sit in the seat :confused:

Would you sit them IN the trolley ???? You do realise the safety issues with that right :cool:

Is that me? I wouldn't sit DS in the trolley, only in the seat bit. I work in retail, and too many times have i seen a toddler topple the trolley whilst sitting in the big bit. When DS is too big for the seat, he will be walking with me. Possibly with his harness on, possibly not. Depends on the situation at the time.

[Refresh]

I think Ally was referring to Babygirl :)

Sorry for butting in! :o:o

[Sheer Bliss]

Oh and DD might well have been under the wheels of a 4wd without her harness a few years ago. I was pregnant with DS and she was walking next to me holding my hand (while she had her backpack on) in a car park, and she pulled away from me. I tried so hard to hold onto her slippery, sweaty little hand, and she got away. A 4wd was reversing out of a park and didn't see her running towards them. Thank god she only got 2 steps infront of me before the strap on the harness and pulled her onto her bottom. Humiliating - probably, but she isn't dead under a car, I know which one i'd prefer for my child, if you'd choose differently, that's your problem.

[WorkingClassMum]

and TBH, I don't understand why you can't teach your kids to walk beside you in a controlled manner. (SN kiddies aside),.. We manage to teach our kids to eat at the dining table,..to use the toilet,...to put their toys away,.etc,.. what's the difference? IMO, it's just an extension of teaching kids manners.

My Dd is not special needs, (and ((GBH)) to all SN parents). She is bright exhuberant child that has zest and spirit. Maybe she's too smart for her own good, but I cannot manage to teach her to just walk - she runs, skips, jumps, prances, tip toes, stomps, hops and dances, but never walks.

She pretends to be a bird, a plane, a fairy, a monster, a car, a ballet dancer or an Olympic Athlete.

She can see a balloon or a dog or friend miles into the distance, but her peripheral vision - like that of all children - has not yet fully developed. She runs to the point of her interest, careless of cars or the fact that Mum is heading in the oposite direction.

My Dd lives for the Here and Now and I live for her - she had a harness for her protection and my sanity.

Maybe, if you ever the joy of having a spirited child to share your life, you'll understand that disciplin isn't as easy as just sayin' so.

I'm glad your kids happily walk alongside of you, my DS has always happily walked with Mummy and loves to hold my hand, and I once thought that as he was, all children should be. Well DD put the kybosh on that and now I humbly accept that all kids are different. They all have diofferent traits and needs, and i don't judge any parent for looking fater their childs best interest by using a harness to enhance their protection yet not cramp their exploration of this world

[Livvey]

Oh, yes, i see now!:)

[Refresh]

Oh and DD might well have been under the wheels of a 4wd without her harness a few years ago. I was pregnant with DS and she was walking next to me holding my hand (while she had her backpack on) in a car park, and she pulled away from me. I tried so hard to hold onto her slippery, sweaty little hand, and she got away. A 4wd was reversing out of a park and didn't see her running towards them. Thank god she only got 2 steps infront of me before the strap on the harness and pulled her onto her bottom. Humiliating - probably, but she isn't dead under a car, I know which one i'd prefer for my child, if you'd choose differently, that's your problem.

:hugs::hugs:

[~Temet Nosce~]

Oh my sister was a hider too.... She used to love the old circular clothes racks and hiding in the middle.... spent many a shopping trip with mum and I calling out for her and systematically checking all the racks...
:laughing: I did this when I was younger.. in Target too! Hmmm..
They ended up finding me in the cothes rack thing eating a whole heap of easter eggs.. LOL


ROFL :laughing: cripes, is it lunch time? I only just had breakfast :o

Gave DS dog food for breakfast of course :yes: then gave him a schmacko for sitting when commanded!
:laughing: what a good boy.
We have lunch between 11.30-12 here :p

[Refresh]

They ended up finding me in the cothes rack thing eating a whole heap of easter eggs.. LOL

That was just this Easter hey? :D

[fozzie]

i agree with the OP...

i could NEVER do that to DD... she is the kind of child who RUNS away and she is SO FAST yet i would still never put her on a leash... to protect her and ensure she has no chance to run away i either put her in a trolley or take the pram..

i could never bring myself to do that.

I never needed one for DS1 but I could understand others needing them. DS2 was a different story very full on and totally different to DS1 and still is DS3 yeah I need one he's not the geatest at staying next to me and I also have a bub with me and even when the older two are around I've still got to watch them that they are ok and still with us. Not all children are alike and when you only have one it is also alot easier than with two or three or four but some little ones just have a mind of there own.


That's it. It's the stigma that comes with it hey. If pets were originally pushed around in prams, many of us would be against using that for our children.

Maybe if parents were tying their children up to poles while they shopped, I'd be against it :rolleyes:

:iagree:


ROFL :laughing: cripes, is it lunch time? I only just had breakfast

Gave DS dog food for breakfast of course :yes: then gave him a schmacko for sitting when commanded!

:laughing: well my DS3 decided he wanted one of the dogs schmackos this morning and tried to eat it. :barf:

All in all children are different and what works for one doesn't for another. My DS loves his MrPanda backpack and insits on taking it with us.

[~Temet Nosce~]

That was just this Easter hey? :D
:laughing:.. well I did have to hide alot eating chocolate this easter.. because I didn't want my dd to see me and then want as much as I was eating :laughing: ooh I'm a mean mummy :devil6:

[lulu 2]

Gee I must be a really terrible parent then lol I use to clip dd1s harness onto the dogs double leash with the dogs when i stopped to bf bubs when we went out walking. She would take off into the water or run infront of cyclists if I didn't and I neva had anyone say anything bad, I guess they put themsleves in my shoes instead of judging me. When I was finished bf and could pay attention again then she was let off the "leash".

[sandy_1902]

and TBH, I don't understand why you can't teach your kids to walk beside you in a controlled manner. (SN kiddies aside),.. We manage to teach our kids to eat at the dining table,..to use the toilet,...to put their toys away,.etc,.. what's the difference? IMO, it's just an extension of teaching kids manners.


if you wanna offer to teach my 2 year old to walk besides me not run off.. i more then offer you the challenge

[WorkingClassMum]

i agree with the OP...

i could NEVER do that to DD... she is the kind of child who RUNS away and she is SO FAST yet i would still never put her on a leash... to protect her and ensure she has no chance to run away i either put her in a trolley or take the pram..

i could never bring myself to do that.:no:


I used a harness to tie DD into the trolley seat...

that was after I caught my then 13mo DD climb out of the trolley and up onto the shelves at Safeway....

[TeenyT]

Maybe we should send them to obedience training like puppies :p, that would stop all that norty unnaceptable behaviour :yes:.


:laughing:

That would be sooooo much better. Imagine the supermarkets. Whistling from parents and commands of "HEEL Sally! Sit Tommy. DOWN, DOWN. Good girl, good boy. *pats heads and gives Schmacko each*.

[Mummy2R&K]

My DS loves his monkey back pack 'dog leash'.

He is too big for the trolley seat and HATES the pram and trolley and refuses them both and wants to walk everywhere.

I would rather be safe than sorry and put him on it rather than him run off (when i was pregnant with DD and couldn't catch up) and possibly get lost or get hit by a car. and now I've got bubs, ít makes it easier for me, I either have her in the pram or sling and him on his 'leash', depending on where we're going.

Heaps of people, especially old ppl, think they're cute and have commented on it in the shops :)

Funny thing the other day I went to the airport, and he had to take it off and put through the scanner....that was cute.

[sandy_1902]

:laughing:im jst aded.. im happy to read im not the only one who cant catch me two year while heavily pregnant they are crazy fast haha

[naiwen]

This thread made me cross but now it's making me ROFL!

[Mummy2R&K]

if you wanna offer to teach my 2 year old to walk besides me not run off.. i more then offer you the challenge

I double challenge.....you can take my DS too........Good luck.......he's 22 months and the size of a 3 year old. I can barely carry him, and he REFUSES and screams if I put him in a trolley or pram.

I would rather walk him like a dog, than him run off and me not be able to catch him cos I have bubs....or worse, run out in front of a car.

But I would be a bad parent if I let my child run riot in the shops.

Can't win either way hey.

[sandy_1902]

I double challenge.....you can take my DS too........Good luck.......he's 22 months and the size of a 3 year old. I can barely carry him, and he REFUSES and screams if I put him in a trolley or pram.

I would rather walk him like a dog, than him run off and me not be able to catch him cos I have bubs....or worse, run out in front of a car.

But I would be a bad parent if I let my child run riot in the shops.

Can't win either way hey.


lol mines been confused for a 3 year old as well.. no wonder hes such a terror haha.

i take my pram everywhere i go.. but i find it a bit mean to make him sit in that all day wouldnt you wanna get out an walk a bit??

so for safety i use it

[Mummy2R&K]

lol mines been confused for a 3 year old as well.. no wonder hes such a terror haha.

i take my pram everywhere i go.. but i find it a bit mean to make him sit in that all day wouldnt you wanna get out an walk a bit??

so for safety i use it

At least I didn't have to buy a double pram lol.

oh and you should see the stares if on a rare occasion he has his dummy in public, because he looks so much older than what he is.

I might take him for a walk a bit later to my mum's on his leash........i must remember a poop bag too and ensure I pick up after him, and tell him to heal when we get to a curb.

He's going to blame me putting him on a leash when his older for all his problems :P

With the hoons around here, No way would I not have him on it.

[ladybugblue84]

If necessary I will certainly get one for my DD :yes: I don't think it is "sad" at all. If you don't like them then don't use them, easy peasy!

[danemwalker]

THIS IS AN OPINION NOT A JUDGEMENT !!!

It is so hypocritical for everyone to be up in arms because " im judgemental" ..what is everyone elso doing to my post...i do believe you are judging me and very harshly I must say ???

WHat ? Im ignorant because I dont have kids...? I have 15 neices and nephews and spend ALOT of time with them and yes with children who refuse to stay with me ect but I DONT AGREE with putting them on a leash.

Maybe I could of worded it differently but what is comparable is the fact the animals are put on leashes and then these children are put on leashes. I just dont like it !!!! BUT AGAIN this is MY OPINION.

Its amazing that "im spewing bile" and "ignorant"..have a look at some of the nasty things written. It is so unnecessary !!

I am informed on the subject regardless of having a toddler or not and I will not be changing my mind now or in the future.

To all these people that do use them - if you are happy with your choice why does it matter what some IGNORANT person thinks of the way you bring up your child?

Im not judging you ..im expressing my opinion.

WOuldnt it be boring if we all AGREED ?

[*babygirl*]

seems like there is nothing you can do as a parent without being abused...

i dont strap DD in the pram she sits there happily and if she wants to get out i let her and hold her hand.

i have seen people 'pull' their kids over in the harness because they wants them to come back while having a chat etc.. i just dont like the thought of strapping her onto a leash. i personally could never do that to my child.just as i would never yell at her or drag her to her feet if she was being naughty while out. i dont like the though of embarassing her or hurting her or using a harness to let her think she can walk but if i wanted to pull her back at any chance. i understand why it works for some people i just said i dont think i could ever do that to her.

also i've seen so many children knocked over when people dotn see the leash and knock the children over or into things.

[Leisa21]

Before I had kids or had a toddler I thought OMG those things are appalling. I didn't think bad of the parents, just that I hated the way it looked. I always said no child of mine will have a leash. Well so far so good. When my son started walking we ditched the pram and went for walking alongside us. You know what comments I overheard. OMG that woman is making her 1 year old walk around all day that's terrible, he can barely walk!! I'd heard it a lot so I turned around and said, please tell me how to make my 1 year old do ANYTHING! Simple my son has a mind of his own and once he's walking that's it he didn't want the pram. I understand that. The only time it comes out with me is if he'll need a sleep while we're out. I actually find it more depressing seeing a toddler in the pram and obviously bored than seeing a toddler walking happily exploring while on the safety of a leash.

I taught Aidan that if he wont hold Mummy's hand than he goes back in the stroller. It was very easy and he never runs off.... however I have one incredibly well behaved boy who barely gives us a moments grief. We're lucky, we know that. He was a full on baby but a really easy toddler and we love it. However we might not have the same child next time around and I still haven't thrown out the idea of a harness. Now as a mother of a toddler I can see the benefits. I certainly wont be confining my toddler to a pram just to save a few glaring eyes, if my child(in the words of FFrenchstar) is a runner offerer I would much prefer him/her in a harness then in the pram.

Seriously I was soooo naive when I was pregnant there were so many things I was and wasn't going to do or that I looked down on others for. I'm glad I've been able to see what it's like on the other side and it's definitely made me less quick to judge. You're only human OP, and I think what people are trying to say is try not to judge in such a harsh way. It's okay to judge but try being a bit more constructive about it. And hey if you hate them so much why don't you give some other parents some tips on ways to combat a runaway toddler! Toddlers are very strong willed, when they get an idea they generally (scuse the pun) run with it!

[danemwalker]

I wasnt abusive in my post and I never said anything about bad parenting or CHILD ABUSE !!

This is so blown out of proportion !!

I said it makes ME sad and that I dont like it..

hmmmmmm sounds like its MY OPINION on a product used by parents.

So i should just agree with everything written in this forum or risk being burnt at the stake.


Thanks to the supportive threads. much appreciated !

[Refresh]

THIS IS AN OPINION NOT A JUDGEMENT !!!

It is so hypocritical for everyone to be up in arms because " im judgemental" ..what is everyone elso doing to my post...i do believe you are judging me and very harshly I must say ???

WHat ? Im ignorant because I dont have kids...? I have 15 neices and nephews and spend ALOT of time with them and yes with children who refuse to stay with me ect but I DONT AGREE with putting them on a leash.

Maybe I could of worded it differently but what is comparable is the fact the animals are put on leashes and then these children are put on leashes. I just dont like it !!!! BUT AGAIN this is MY OPINION.

Its amazing that "im spewing bile" and "ignorant"..have a look at some of the nasty things written. It is so unnecessary !!

I am informed on the subject regardless of having a toddler or not and I will not be changing my mind now or in the future.

To all these people that do use them - if you are happy with your choice why does it matter what some IGNORANT person thinks of the way you bring up your child?

Im not judging you ..im expressing my opinion.

WOuldnt it be boring if we all AGREED ?

I hope that you can see that your post was more than merely having an opinion.

You don't have to use one....I don't think I will ever need to use one again either....but, have none of the posts here given you any insight to the way people feel about their precious children....enough to stop being so judgemental?

It is one thing to choose not to use one, but another to assume that everyone who does is treating their baby like an animal :(

[Mummy2R&K]

For those ppl who commented recently that BH had got boring with no juicy debates.............

:D:D

Happy lol.

[WorkingClassMum]

Im not judging you ..im expressing my opinion.

WOuldnt it be boring if we all AGREED ?

Go back and read your OP - you likened children to animals, you used capitals - akin to shouting and you excepted (not accepted) SN children.

Your OP is judgemental and not just an opinion - else why did you post except that you have made a judgement.

You cannot expect to get any other reposnse to your OP when you have made such broad sweeping statements.

Your opening post is rude, it is not inviting of a conversation.


seems like there is nothing you can do as a parent without being abused...

.

Hun - you're not being abused for what you do, you are having your opinion debated.

No-one said you where a bad parent, we're all saying we don't agree with your opinion.

[Nowhere]

It makes me feel sick when I see children in harnesses/leashes....

Makes me feel like they are treated as little animals..

I know there are parents out there that say its a necessary evil and they would rather use them then have a missing child and I agree no one wants a missing child BUT MY GOD there has to be another way..

And buying one that doubles as a backpack or a toy on thier back dosent fool anyone.

If you can hold the strap of the leash why cant you just hold thier hand ??????????????:no:


ok i haven read the whole thread just your OP the tittle kind of stood out, Seriously get some perspective if the biggest beef in your life if other people putting a safety harnes then you are prety dam lucky

Sure you dont like them fine great but it doesnt mean others people shouldnt use them

[Refresh]

Absolutely WCM, well said.

If your OP had stated something like "I am trying to understand why people use these harnesses as it makes no sense to me...?" you would not have gotten such a huge response Danem :no: You chose to be rude in your OP likening people's children to animals...

I was interested in your response to the pram comparison. Does a pram not have a harness and restrict a child's freedom even more?


Babygirl, it is dangerous not to use the harness in a pram or trolley isn't it?

[naiwen]

Look everyone gets have an opinion, but when you say things like this to a forum full of mothers you will get called on it big time :yes:.




It makes me feel sick when I see children in harnesses/leashes....

Makes me feel like they are treated as little animals..



And those a judgement statements not opinion statements.

IMO ;)

[JabberJaw]

My mum once told me.....

If you have nothing nice to say, then dont say anything :D

It was a bad way to bring up a topic. Maybe next time write something like ...

What do you think of child harnesses, give me the pros and cons.........before likening people that use them to animals, who sicken you :)

[*babygirl*]

but when the comments are far fetched and nasty it makes it hard not to feel personally attacked... my opinion is just that...

i dont like to cast judgement when im out i simply dont like them... just as i dont like seeing babies get around with soft drink etc... i just dont LIKE it.. and hearing all these stories makes me understand WHY but i still dont like it... so i wont use it.

i just didnt think my post was angry or aggressive or saying i think badly of others for using them.:confused:

if DD doesnt want the strap on in the pram i wont put it on... she is a big girl and will sit there happily without it... if she was unruly or prone to tantrums maybe... but she'll sit there with her toys or a book and be happy... i want her to feel like she is free to get up and roam with permission and we've had no trouble this far :D

oh and just for those who asked... out of interest... i never used a cot either.. i didnt want her to feel trapped. that is just my parenting style ;)

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

THIS IS AN OPINION NOT A JUDGEMENT !!!

It is so hypocritical for everyone to be up in arms because " im judgemental" ..what is everyone elso doing to my post...i do believe you are judging me and very harshly I must say ???

WHat ? Im ignorant because I dont have kids...? I have 15 neices and nephews and spend ALOT of time with them and yes with children who refuse to stay with me ect but I DONT AGREE with putting them on a leash.

Maybe I could of worded it differently but what is comparable is the fact the animals are put on leashes and then these children are put on leashes. I just dont like it !!!! BUT AGAIN this is MY OPINION.

Its amazing that "im spewing bile" and "ignorant"..have a look at some of the nasty things written. It is so unnecessary !!

I am informed on the subject regardless of having a toddler or not and I will not be changing my mind now or in the future.

To all these people that do use them - if you are happy with your choice why does it matter what some IGNORANT person thinks of the way you bring up your child?

Im not judging you ..im expressing my opinion.

WOuldnt it be boring if we all AGREED ?
I think your first post set the tone for the thread.

As other people have said, are you going to use a cot? A pram or a car seat. They are all methods of restraining a child.

Even if you have looked after children, as I did before I had mine, nothing can prepare you. Each individual child is different.

I used to say I wouldn't do XYZ as well, and many of those things I have laughed my *** off at because they just wern't realistic.

What I can say is being a rigid parent before the fact only leads to frustration, and dissapointment IMO.


Best of luck to you.

[SorenLorensen]

:laughing: did you realise your OPINION is JUDGMENTAL :detective:
call it what you like but when you say something i do is 'sad', something i do makes you feel like im treating my kids like animal, yell BUT MY Gosh in what comes across as frustration on the topic, and ask if i can hold a leash why can i hold their hand and shake your head.........don't expect a nice reply.

oh and do you really think we buy the animal harnesses for 'fool' people like you ?? my daughter picked hers, that was the one she wanted....i promise you, hiding the fact that it is a harness is NOT why we have it. :no:


i remember a recent thread of yours about how you were upset because of a friend giving you a hard time about your decisions so far surrounding your bub.........now i guess you forgot how she made you feel hey ? or is it ok for you to crap on about how others do things and not vice versa ??

[Refresh]

before likening people that use them to animals, who sicken you

Precisely.

This is my first comment about you not having a child yet OP as I do believe you are entitled to make up your mind about what you will and will not do before you have a child (judgements aside) but what you WILL understand when you have your baby is that when someone accuses your of not doing the best thing for your child, whom you love more than life itself....your blood will boil and you will feel like crying.

That is how we feel when you state with multiple exclamation marks that our children are being treated like animals!!!

[abiishu]

My DD loves wearing her monkey backpack at the shops. I hold her hand, but the monkey's tail is around my wrist just in case.

Holding hands is a two way street - it is not just me holding onto her hand. For it to work we both have to be holding each others hands. When she chooses to let go of my hand for whatever reason then we are not holding hands anymore. I choose not to crush her tiny little hand by grabbing at her with my much bigger stronger hand in these instances, and if she gets too far away from me then the monkey tail comes into play. And being pregnant, chasing her is not an option. She can run much faster than I can waddle! :laughing:



and TBH, I don't understand why you can't teach your kids to walk beside you in a controlled manner. (SN kiddies aside),.. We manage to teach our kids to eat at the dining table,..to use the toilet,...to put their toys away,.etc,.. what's the difference? IMO, it's just an extension of teaching kids manners.

I am teaching my child to walk beside me in a controlled manner. Her monkey backpack is a training tool that we will use until she has mastered this skill.

IMO, teaching children to eat at the table, go to the toilet, or put their toys away are laughable comparisons to teaching a child to walk at your side in a controlled manner :rolleyes: There are obvious and very real dangers to young children when walking through shopping centres, car parks and next to busy roads.

I know there sure aren't any cars speeding through my living room when DD is picking up her toys or learning to eat at the table!! :p

What I'm trying to say is that a slight mistake in learning to walk beside me can have much more serious consequences than teaching other simple manners at home, and therefore is not comparable.

Its a safety issue - and I'd much rather be safe than sorry :yes:

[WorkingClassMum]

So i should just agree with everything written in this forum or risk being burnt at the stake.


Thanks to the supportive threads. much appreciated !


No-one is asking for you to agree with everyone else, anymore than most BHubbers would prefer that people restrain themselves from referring to our children as being treated like animals and shouting at us (using capitals) and being Holier-than-thou (OMG) is their posts.

You opened a subject - under disicpline - not Product Reviews and expect us all to agree when you are condeming in your OP

[reAllytee]

This has to be the funniest thread I have read in ages ...

And it now gets better as apparently the OP wasnt being judgemental .... Note to self ...

LMFAO ... Hilarious !


I could also find some of your other threads/ posts make me sad like maybe that you desperately miss or want champagne etc but I dont go saying how I find this because there are so many mums who would be bluddy grateful just to be pg !

Nope instead I understand that you must feel sore, tired & cranky because most women who are heavily pg do & sympathise that you just want some time out.

Its called tact & empathy that maybe just maybe someone has it a little different to you & they are doing the best they can.

[Bubs'n'Roses]

I read the OP and have gone straight to reply, so I haven't read anyone elses reply at the moment.

Until you've been on your knees on the curb thanking your lucky stars you put the backpack/cord on your adventurous 3 year old and thus were able to pull her back from running onto the busy street in front of buses, taxis, cars, trucks, motorbikes, you can sit with your opinion on likening my child to animal.

Do you know what its like to be screaming for your child to stop going forward, stop walking FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP NOW and that little kid to smirk at you and think its a game, and almost getting hit by any form of speeding-two-to-four-wheels machine?

Maybe a "leash" isn't the greatest idea, but you can't rely on young kids, toddlers, to stop walking or to not run off. These "leashes" offer a parent whose hands are busy - with another child, perhaps a pram - the security of knowing the child can't go that far. And the child has their hands free to look at toys in the shop but still be close to you as you look at something else. And to an even further extent, your child can't just be picked up by a stranger and walked off with - you'll feel the pull.

You're entitled to your opinion, but so am I, and quite frankly YOUR opinion on this matter makes me sad because you've no idea just how much of a lifesaver these "leashes" can be. Forgive me because my "animal" is a bit adventurous and wants to see things.

[MountainGirl]

The OP & this post make me :laughing::laughing::laughing:


Aaaah yes because those of us who have used them just cant be bothered !

*tears of laughter running down face*

To be honest, that's just plain rude.

I have 3 very spirited children,.... who are as unruly as the rest of them,...(believe me, my 2,5yr old son has me tearing my hair out).

however,

I make darned sure he knows the rules when it comes to certain situations. For his safety and also the safety of others he has learned (or is in the process of learning) decent behaviour.

[Looshkin]

It makes me feel sick when I see children in harnesses/leashes....

Makes me feel like they are treated as little animals..

I know there are parents out there that say its a necessary evil and they would rather use them then have a missing child and I agree no one wants a missing child BUT MY GOD there has to be another way..

And buying one that doubles as a backpack or a toy on thier back dosent fool anyone.

If you can hold the strap of the leash why cant you just hold thier hand ??????????????:no:


OP
I was run over by a car and nearly died, then nearly lost my leg.... I can tell you right now, I am 100 percent sure my mum felt a lot more sick from her child being in hospital in three months that has now got permanent damage to her leg and foot... than she may have felt about being judged by others for using a harness like an animal for her incredibly stuborn independent Houdini escape artist for a daughter who ran off any chance possible.

Having neices is nothing like having children, lets be fair here. I have a neice. I have friends with kids I've babysat. I don't have my own kids, and I think making judgments like that isn't fair.
How can you honestly say a pram is no worse? It's the exact same thing.. but they are strapped into a chair on wheels so you can push them around?

Fair enough you have your opinion.
But how about saying.
I don't like those child harness's and I won't use them.

Saying it makes me *sick* and using negative emotive language is judgmental.. the why can't you just hold their hand, or the other poster syaing why can't you just 'teach them' is like me saying "oh god why can't those mums just 'try harder' and breastfeed like I will/can/do, don't they know manganese is toxic in those levels and it's proven to cause health problems its (insert derogatory whatever)"

Instead of just saying - the information I've read about formula makes me want to breast feed.

Have an opinion for sure, but having a rant about those that do things you don't agree with.. to the point that you obviously look down upon them and compare them to what YOU would do, what YOU think is right and berate choices others make that differ to your opinion, is very immature of you.. It's what we do as children and something we should stop doing as adults.

[MountainGirl]

Oh but naiwen there is a ' SN kids aside ' by others in the thread ...

So apparently its ok for SN to use them because they are obviously ok to be treated as animals :rolleyes:

That is unfair.

Maybe I didn;'t explain myself terribly well,... I was simply referring to Ruby&Seths mum in regards Austism etc,..

Please do not misquote me.

[Hokey Pokey]

I wasnt abusive in my post and I never said anything about bad parenting or CHILD ABUSE !!

This is so blown out of proportion !!

I said it makes ME sad and that I dont like it..

hmmmmmm sounds like its MY OPINION on a product used by parents.

So i should just agree with everything written in this forum or risk being burnt at the stake.


Thanks to the supportive threads. much appreciated !

If you don't like such heated responses, then don't post such an offensive thing.. If your going to write such a touchy topic just be sure you can handle the responses, because you can't tell me you were not expecting such a fuss!!???

[sandy cheeks]

To be honest, that's just plain rude.

I have 3 very spirited children,.... who are as unruly as the rest of them,...(believe me, my 2,5yr old son has me tearing my hair out).

however,

I make darned sure he knows the rules when it comes to certain situations. For his safety and also the safety of others he has learned (or is in the process of learning) decent behaviour.

U dont think ur last comment was plain rude?
Kinda sounds a bit like harness users dont make sure their kids know rules and decent behaviour.

[Roopee]

I wasnt abusive in my post and I never said anything about bad parenting or CHILD ABUSE !!

This is so blown out of proportion !!

I said it makes ME sad and that I dont like it..

hmmmmmm sounds like its MY OPINION on a product used by parents.

So i should just agree with everything written in this forum or risk being burnt at the stake.


Thanks to the supportive threads. much appreciated !

Have you actually read this?
Heard of the saying, 'walk a mile in my shoes'?
You have contradicted everything you ever said.

Oh and counting something as YOUR opinion is not a license to be rude.

You said it made you sick.
You likened children to animals.
You implied that parents that use them are lazy.

No you don't have to agree with everything written on here but when you start an emotive topic like this in the rude manner you started it then, yeah, you're going to cop some sh!t for your efforts.

As for the support?:laughing: You're kidding right? Where was your support toward the parents who use these harnesses eh? Some of them use them so their children dont run in front of cars or run off. Imagine that.

And I dont care how many neices and nephews you have or how much time you spend with them- it is NOT the same as having your own. Compare away, you might as well compare apples and oranges.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, I have 4 children and I dont use a harness.

[Refresh]

Thanks to the supportive threads. much appreciated !

Hmm,ok...we should come on here and support you putting down people who are looking after their children?

Look, OP, I am sure you are a great person who is tired and cranky and over being pregnant....and I am sure this thread has made you very defensive and mad but I hope that you can see that what you have written was offensive and certainly did not come across as merely having an opinion.

[reAllytee]

To be honest, that's just plain rude.

I have 3 very spirited children,.... who are as unruly as the rest of them,...(believe me, my 2,5yr old son has me tearing my hair out).

however,

I make darned sure he knows the rules when it comes to certain situations. For his safety and also the safety of others he has learned (or is in the process of learning) decent behaviour.

To be honest I think you are being rude so I guess we are even.

I find your post rude because you imply that I or others arent trying hard enough or that we are simply lazy not teaching the important issues.

I too go through this on a DAILY basis for his safety & mine ... We have books on it we read daily, I even used a special video to help get the message across, we talk on the walk down to Kindy about road rules & what can happen if we run away etc.

It hasnt worked.

Maybe it isnt what you mean but that is how it comes across. Simple.



That is unfair.

Maybe I didn;'t explain myself terribly well,... I was simply referring to Ruby&Seths mum in regards Austism etc,..

Please do not misquote me.

Yep & again it reads as " well unless your kid has issues then you have no excuse for having a problem with getting a child to hold you hand or teach them the correct behaviours "

Again maybe it isnt what you mean but I am saying this is how it comes across.

Really I find it amusing ....

We are apparently treating our kids like dogs by using 'leashes' but yet have others ever thought that demanding & requiring your child to behave & act like you want is training them & teaching them to be a dog ?

Guess thats different though.

I dont demand such behaviours of my child when their thinking isnt quite ready for this because their brains are very different to an adults.

I believe in allowing him to learn & discover in a safe way that allows him to be free, so if that means using a harness that allows this then so be it.

I wont put my demands or societies onto him when he isnt ready to understand them.

[Leeny]

I'm going to close this thread ladies.

What a shame that we can't respect other parents choices and refrain from judging. What works for some children doesn't work for others.