To take or not to take?

[A Party of Five]

To take or not to take on your DF's last name at marrage?

Do you think you should take on there name

or

to keep your own name if you wanted?


I only ask cause sometime I wish I had my old last name :o

[Refresh]

I did....I didn't consider not taking it. I like that we all have the same surname.

[Bunnyhugs]

I voted 'yes' as was a no brainer for me. I wanted his surname, I wanted the same last name as my son. It's bothered me since he was born that he had a different name to me and he was 3 when we got married.

I think it's a personal choice though, I don't think EVERYONE should change their name just because they got married.

[tootiredtosleep]

I didn't really want to, but I did. Personally, I like having the same name as my kids, that was my main reason.
I hate been addressed as Mrs Bob Smith though, I don't understand that at all!

[Leisa21]

I was happy to take on my husbands surname. I was a little sad about losing my family name but then I realised that I'd always be a *insert maiden name* and that wont change, just my name. In fact it was really nice in some ways I felt like I was getting a new identity. I struggled through school because I was rather popular and that caused a lot of jealousy and rumours. Someone just had to mention my surname and everyone got talking. It still haunted me after school. I go out and tell someone I didn't know my name and they'd go ahhhh so you're.....

Now it's great I don't have any of that:D And I wanted my kids to have the same name as Mum and Dad. DH probably would have changed his name if I had of asked him to, I"m sure his parents wouldn't like it but meh. In the end it wasn't an issue. I was happy to change. Took a while to get used to though. Doesn't help that I have the same initials as my SIL so it gets confusing at church when they have a roster. Theres LAE, LKE and LKE lol.

[MothersMilk]

I took on my husbands last name upon marriage :yes:
I did because i wanted to - my maiden name means nothing to me as i no relationship with my relatives or any attachment to the name.
In fact for years i contemplated changing my last name anyway so this was the perfect chance.
I like having the same last name as hubby - i'm an old fashioned kinda girl :D

It's really a personal choice so i think people should do whatever they think is right. I don't it makes a marriage any less special if you keep your maiden name.

[Bunnyhugs]

Some people have issues taking their husbands name due to the historical significance of it.

When you're born, you're the property of your father and have his surname. When you marry, you then become the property of your husband and that's why you take his surname - so people know who you 'belong' to :laughing:

Seriously, that's how it all started.

[RmumR]

I choose other so will explain why.

I have already been married and did take on his last name, we had DD and all had the same name. Then we separated and divorced and agreed that i would go back to my maiden name (as no longer wanted his name) and that DD would have a hyphernated surname (my surname)-(his surname) so that she would have both our names.

Now i have a new partner and we aren't getting married anytime soon but have spoken about it and he is very upset that i said if/when we get married i will have a hyphernated surname as still want part of my surname to be the same as DD's cause wouldn't change her name again (plus her dad would never let me).

[~Candy~]

I am one to take on HIS surname...but..I voted "other"...because I want to change our surname altogether as we have NOTHING to do with his family and I sure as heck no longer want to carry on that name that doesn't have a single thing to do with us.

[A Party of Five]

I think that I miss my old last name cause I'm so proud of my family (mostly my mum) :o and there is only my younger brother to carry one the name where I have three sons to carry my family name on.

[Hokey Pokey]

I took hubbies, with great pleasure :laughing:

but I think it should be up to the indiviual/couple :yes:

[cookie087]

I have decided not to take my DF's surname. This was a choice decided on before we had my son. We do not see or speak to his Father and in fact i hate him and what he has done, and therefore didnt want my son having his surname or being linked to him. My son has my surname and when we get married my DF will take on my surname too. I know its a bit back to front and not traditional but thats what we decided on.

[Pax]

SHOULD??????

Nope.. but you can if you want to.

I hyphenated.. i like my name

to be honest i would much preferred my children to have my name and wish i knew that 16 years ago i would have demanded it.

[A Party of Five]

I have decided not to take my DF's surname. This was a choice decided on before we had my son. We do not see or speak to his Father and in fact i hate him and what he has done, and therefore didnt want my son having his surname or being linked to him. My son has my surname and when we get married my DF will take on my surname too. I know its a bit back to front and not traditional but thats what we decided on.

This what we where going to do but DH chicken out on me at the last minute :(

[MyLittlePrincess]

i think it all depends on the individual...

i took my DH surname so we have the same name but on the other hand,

if i was a doctor i personally would definally keep my orignal surname as that is the name that has made 'me' who i am not my DH, (why give his family name all the credit on what i had become) no offernece..:no:

[Ana Gram]

I picked other as I think should is not the right word. I am not likely to ever get married but on the off chance that I went crazy and did, I would be keeping my name. I am very attached to my name and I don't see why I should have to change it for someone else's.

[Looshkin]

Heads up to the rant patrol because I have issues with this.

I'm undecided.

I was surprised when df seemed taken back that I was even considering *not* just automatically doing it.

He is anti tradition, but I have found out after 9 years (and thinking I knew him quite well) that he seems to object to tradition when it suits him, and be all for tradition when it suits him.

I told him why not him change his to mine?
Why is it always the man? Seems like a silly tradition that is not questioned and just done because everyone else does.
I have real issues with doing *anything* just because 'everyone else does'

I do not like DF's family, and DF is much more a part of 'my' extended family.. so why not him change his to my name as he is joining my family much more than I a joining his..

I also put the idea out there that we just come up with some really cool name that we both like.. I mean that is what people did back in the day anyway? How else did we come up with so many sirnames, I mean at some point, people decided to have another sirname than their family.

He doesn't like that idea, so I said, why don't we just use all the letters from both our sirnames to come up with a name.. but it would end up being kevieryecesr or something.

I will keep working on him.
It just sucks - his family will be apalled and oh so offended end of the world if he took my name, but my family would be bananas if i took his.. what the hell? What sir name should my children have? Why do my children automatically just have someone elses name because 'thats just the way it is done'
well why?
I am going to tell my sons and daughters to take or not take whatever name they want, if they want to make up a new one then so be it, we will know we are related.. a rose is a rose and all that.

[Mummaholic]

I believe it is a woman's choice whether she takes the name or not. I kept my maiden name at first and decided to change it later as I wanted to have the same surname as my children.

Zeltronica, why not hyphen?

[Cicho]

I chose 'other' because it depends on individual preference I guess :yes::yes:

I took my DH's name at marriage because our kiddies have his name... Now we are all the same :yes:

[Benji]

I was meant to get married last year and I was going to keep my last name because a) I have a very strong bond and connection with my parents, I am a Br----------! and b) my XDPs last name was soooooo boring and common!

I think we should be more like a lot of other cultures where people keep their own last names and children take on both surnames.

I sure as heck wish I had the same surname as my son :( I raised him from day one with very little help from his father, yet he takes his name because he has the pen!s.

[jag5000]

I kept my maiden name.. well, mostly.. honestly I use whatever I feel like at any given moment! LOL .. i am legally.. well, actually i don't know what i am legally. I have drivers licenses issued in both names!

DD has my maiden name and DS has hubbys surname .. both kids are both our bio kids.. figure that one out! :p I kinda like the girls having one name and the boys having another :D

oh.. ETA.. I voted other 'cos I think it's totally up to the individual.. no have to or should (or shouldn't for that matter)

[Refresh]

Jag, did you guys split up and then get back together?:goodvibes:

[JasmineLouise]

ill be ditching mine...

quite happy to rid myself of my "talking point" surname...

i don't mind ridding myself of that side of the family too :yes:

[jag5000]

Jag, did you guys split up and then get back together?:goodvibes:

:yes: yep.

Very short story.. met in Perth, whirlwind romance, fell preg after 3 months together, broke up while preg (duh! ;)), I moved back to melb, were always friendly for DD, we visited here as much as we could, , felt the spark again, decided to give it another go, fell in love :bee: DD and I packed up and moved to Perth to be with him, moved back to melb, got married and then had DS!

:cloud9: very very happy now!

[Mummaholic]

yep.

Very short story.. met in Perth, whirlwind romance, fell preg after 3 months together, broke up while preg (duh!), I moved back to melb, were always friendly for DD, we visited here as much as we could, , felt the spark again, decided to give it another go, fell in love DD and I packed up and moved to Perth to be with him, moved back to melb, got married and then had DS!

:cloud9: very very happy now!

:goodvibes::bee::goodvibes:

[Refresh]

:yes: yep.

Very short story.. met in Perth, whirlwind romance, fell preg after 3 months together, broke up while preg (duh! ;)), I moved back to melb, were always friendly for DD, we visited here as much as we could, , felt the spark again, decided to give it another go, fell in love :bee: DD and I packed up and moved to Perth to be with him, moved back to melb, got married and then had DS!

:cloud9: very very happy now!

awwwwwwww!:goodvibes::goodvibes:

[MsMummy]

I picked other as I think should is not the right word. I am not likely to ever get married but on the off chance that I went crazy and did, I would be keeping my name. I am very attached to my name and I don't see why I should have to change it for someone else's.

They are exactly my thoughts.:)

[OneNowOneLater]

I'll be taking DF's name when we get married next year.... Only cos of the fact that i hate mine and my family (apart from my grandma and aunty - everyone else sucks)

I dont know what i'm gonna do about DD's name tho (tis my surname, and DF isnt her bio father)

[Beckybug]

I voted other because I don't thin you SHOULD have to take on DF surname if you don't want to.

I changed mine because I like the tradition, and its a unique name (Stolp) vs Cameron. Plus after I found out what the Cameron name means I was happy to change! LOL, not really I just thought it was interesting to know the native meaning of your name. :yes:

The Cameron's in Scotland were well known as sheep stealers, along with anything else they could lay their hands on, but sheep were the main thing. They ruined the royalty that was further back in the family and squandered the fortunes.

Stolp is Dutch and it means cheese container! I was like WTF? But at least its more innocent than a sheep stealer! :laughing:

[sweetseven]

I didnt like my husbands surname, but felt obliged to take it, because my husband hated my father and thus didn't want me to keep my fathers name.

After we split, I went back to my maiden name. My ex-husband was most annoyed at this and took this as a personal insult. He was also concerned that I would change the children's names also, which I wasn't going to actively do. However, if a child decided themself that they wished to do so, I would not explore that possibility. (Note this has not happened and I dont believe it likely.)

The children I have had with my new partner have been given his name. (If his name was a difficult one, I would've been more inclined to go with mine. However, I see nothing wrong with his name, and it means a lot to him that our children have his name, so that is what we've done.)

If I did ever remarry, I would keep my own name however. It causes too much difficulty and complications with beaurocratic paperwork.

[BigRedV]

My sister didn't take her husband's name and I won't be either.

I saw a numerolgist once (I know, you're all laughing or rolling your eyes :ecomcity:) who told me that a lot of people perceive that women change after they get married because at birth you are given a name and numbers that represent the name to make up your personality. When you get married, you are changing the dynamics of your numerology make-up and therefore potentially changing the person you have been your whole life because you have changed your name. IYKWIM

I know a load of BS some people will say but I thought it was quite interesting.

[Izy]

I think it's a personal choice.

I wanted to keep my name but was willing to take on DH's cause we both wanted to have the same surname and neither of us are a fan of hyphonated names.

In the end he decided to take on my surname so as to allow our family name to continue :goodvibes: