Would you reconsider your friendship if you discovered your friend was pro-circ?

[bada]

A question for those who are anti-circ;
Would you reconsider your friendship if you discovered your friend was strongly pro-circ?


ETA to clarify, when I say strongly pro-circ, I am not meaning ppl who blindly circ'd their sons. I'm meaning ppl who are actively pro circ ie they would try to persuade others to have it done.

[misskittyfantastico]

I have friends and family that have circumcised their boys. I wish the option and pro-circ propaganda had not been available to them.

I voted "no" but I spose I'm "other"

[rainbow road]

No just as I wouldn't reconsider a friendship if someone voted the other way to me etc.

I would feel sad for them and their sons and like TR would wish the pro-circ propaganda wasn't so readily available...but I wouldn't reconsider being friends with them.

(My whole family have circ'd their boys - we're Jewish) and even though I'm not going to circumcise mine I wouldn't by any means disassociate myself with them.

[Mathermy]

If I found out that they had circumcised I don't expect it would affect our relationship too much, unless we got into in depth discussions about it. But if someone was "pro-circ" in that they were actively on a cruisade to increase circ rates then yes, I think it would make me distance myself from that individual because I find that stance simply insane.

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

I voted other.

I don 't think they should have the choice.

I know some people who have circ'd and I don't judge them. I do view them as ignorant about what they are doing, however we are all guilty of this at one time or another.

It is a human rights abuse though, and should be illegal.

[reAllytee]

If I found out that they had circumcised I don't expect it would affect our relationship too much, unless we got into in depth discussions about it. But if someone was "pro-circ" in that they were actively on a cruisade to increase circ rates then yes, I think it would make me distance myself from that individual because I find that stance simply insane.

:iagree:

Most that I know like myself when we circ'ed Boof are either misinformed, ignorant ( not dumb or stupid just not understanding a lot of the 'real' issues etc so please dont take offence to this :cool: ) or blind to it all, so no I wouldnt.

If they were campaigning & holding pickets etc then yeah I would be a little worried & start distancing myself !


I wouldnt cut someone out of my life if they formula fed for the wrong reasons ...

Most parents are just trying to do their best but sadly many are fooled in regards to the circ issue ...

Heck I know we were *sigh*

[LilShenanigans]

Nope.
And I had the ultimate test, my sister wants to circ... I wouldn't want it for my son/s, I couldn't stomach it but I won't judge someone else for it. I will though get lots of info for them :p And actually, yes I told my sister when the day comes I will debate this with her...
But she's fine with that, we think for ourselves and end of the day - so long as she has taken on board my side -then the choice is hers.

[cho]

Of course not. I have a jewish friend and its part of her religion so her baby boy will be getting the chop. I am STRONGLY against circumision but I dont see much of a connection between being friends with someone and them chosing to circumsise. It doesn't make you an evil person.

[Leisa21]

I'm just going to copy and paste from the other thread lol but this is my stance on it.

Depends really. I have a friend who told me to have my son circumcised. I was pregnant and had never thought of it. She gave me the clinic details and my first thought way ummm weird, I didn't think they did that anymore. After a 15 minute conversation of her saying oh but he should look like his Dad and it's cleaner I was a little disturbed. When I left I rang my husband in tears because I was afraid he'd want me to circumcise Aidan. He said over his dead body! No son of his will go through that, boy was I relieved. Then I got home and researched it and had trouble coming to terms with the choice my friend made.

I am still really good friends with her and we agree to disagree with her choice. I don't agree with it, I wish it was illegal but as long as the law says it's ok to do then yes I will protest it, sign petitions and pray that it is made illegal but if I went around making friends based on parenting then I wouldn't have very many friends

[HelenHasTwins]

No that is so silly:no:

[Pax]

No that is absolutely a ridiculous thing to not like someone for.:rolleyes:

now not liking someone for supporting a rapist footballer is another matter :yes:

[MsMummy]

If they were pushing it down my throat (ie. "you should get your son done blah blah") then I'd probably stay well clear of them. Same as if a friend tried to push religion down my throat.

If they didn't mention it, and we were already friends, then so be it. I'm a vegetarian and I have friends who are really pro-meat and make jokes about it, but we've been friends for ages and we just agree to disagree.

Who knows, I could be friends with pro-circ people, and not know it. There's mostly boys at my mothers' group and the topic has never come up. Although considering circ is in the minority, I wouldn't expect so.

[sweetseven]

We have a friend that got himself done as an adult, and swears it was the best thing he ever did, and reccomended that DP should get it done also. DP politely ignored his suggestions, and it hasnt harmed the friendship at all.

[JabberJaw]

No, i wouldn't. If all my friends agreed with my ideals, well i wouldn't have any friends...not that i have many :laughing: but nope they do different things than i would with my kids and i still talk to them.

I have one that tries to push me to her ideals but once i am firm and say i wanna do things my way, she shuts up anyhow. I now prepare for impending visits from her and briskly keep of the topics of parenting :D

[Annas angels]

I don't agree with circumcision for various reasons but respect others beliefs and reasons for having it done. When friends have had their children circumcised I didn't feel the need to run through the pros and cons of it with them. Unfortunately it has not been recipricated and I found myself the subject of a lecture on many occasions with a couple of friends trying to convince me that I was being neglectful in not doing it. I don't understand how if I can accept their want to have this procedure done why they can't accept my reasons not to. :(

[Boobycino]

Probably wouldn't be close to them. Same as I couldn't form a close and safe bond with someone who was actively pro-controlled crying or actively against breast feeding.

I mean actively as in trying to convince me or openly disagreed with my personal choices.

I don't personally agree with RIC - but I have no issues with an individual who does. I have a friend who did fairly full on controlled crying, and we just never really discuss 'sleep issues' but can easily discuss and connect on other topics. So I very much mean if someone was on at me to convince me and judging me for not doing something there way - anything their way - that I'd reconsider our friendship.

I've 'lost' two friends exactly this way. I got over them pressuring me to parent in a way I didn't personally agree with in the context of my son and family.

And I'll probably not forgive my mil for a while for calling me yesterday to plead with me to stop breast feeding.

But if someone circs (or ANY parenting choice) as long as they aren't pushing it on me, I see no issue with them as a person or friend.

And I think the same would go in reverse. If I circ'ed I couldn't be close to someone who actively campaigned against RIC could I? Unless they were incredibly respectful & delicate about it!

[~Temet Nosce~]

No. I have friends with all different beliefs, religions etc. I'm friends with them for who they are not what they believe in. But I wouldn't appreciate them forcing their views onto me and I'd make that pretty clear.

[4SweetAngels]

I voted no. Each to their own... My od/gyn gives his patients alot of articles to read both valid for and against arguments.

My dh was adimant our boys would be circumcised, something I had never thought about?! As it turned out with 2 of our 3 boys, we didn't have much choice being born with Hypospadius they had to be circumcised & have some other stuff done. Our son who didn't have the hypospadius was routinely circumcised.

I have friends whose sons are & aren't done & it has never been a heated topic of conversation, ever. We all have strong & firm opinions but not to the point of damaging friendships.

H:pxx

[the girls mum]

No - people have different opinions on things. It is none of my damn business. One of my closet friends has her boys circd - she is a wonderful beautiful friend. Why would I end the friendship?

[nothanksbye]

Nope. I would not stop being friends with them. and i would be quite happy for them to discuss it with me.

how boring if all my friends thought the same as me and even worse if I expected them to shut up unless they agreed with me.

I used to be anti circ and am now pro..so would make me a bit of a hypocrite.

[Lemonhead]

I am so extremely anti circ that yes, I think I would struggle to accept it. To me, (routine) circ is another form of child abuse, so I could not be friends with someone who chose to abuse their child like that.

Thats just my take on it.

[brogeybear]

I have one or two? friends who have circed their babes. I am still friends with them. If however they were vocally advocating RIC, I doubt I would be able to maintain a friendship with them.
You see, as a personal choice, whilst it angers and saddens me, it doesn't effect me/my family in the same way it does for example, when friends use punitive discipline on their children. I have had to distance myself from friends who smack, etc. as I feel I cannot expose my child to that kind of abuse, him witnessing "big people hitting little people" (his words) is not ok, whereas he wouldn't know the difference when it came to whether another child was circed or intact.

[lil miss]

I didnt read the last part "if they persuaded others..." before I voted.

I personally am not against it, nor am I for it. I believe it is an idividual choice of parents. If they chose not to do it, fine. If they chose to do it, fine. As my husband is not circumsised, I doubt our son will be. But thats our choice. If a friend chose to have her son done thats fine with me- again its her personal choice. However, yes, if she was 'forcing' the idea on me after I clearly told her its not for us, then yes I would reconsider our friendship. As I would with any friend who tried forcing their beliefs on me, what ever it is.

[AliG]

Is this another anti circ slur as if I have a boy he WILL be done I know all the pros and cons but whatever someone does in the end it is THEIR CHOSE

[Me&MrMagoo]

Is this another anti circ slur as if I have a boy he WILL be done I know all the pros and cons but whatever someone does in the end it is THEIR CHOSE

No I don't think it's a slur, but this has been posted in ANTI RIC part of the forum ...

If my friend was preaching, then I'm like boobychino, I wouldn't be able to form a close friendship ...

I have a friend who is tizzie halls best friend and biggest believer, but she doesn't preach to me so we are still strong friends.


** end of transmission **

[flyawayfree]

No, I am anti-circ for my son, but I believe other people can make their own decisions. I have had a few friends try to persuade me and I have just said no and left it at that.

[Littlemissmetal]

No, not on the grounds that they are pro circ. But, I think it would be damaging to our friendship if that friend was constantly preaching to me about circumcision, and make me feel beneath myself because I am anti circ. I don't think I would be able to handle a friend or anyone really, constantly pushing their views onto another person with their close minded opinion.

[1+1=5]

pffft no i wouldn't. i have friends who make parenting choices that i don't agree with (some i'm even appalled by) and I'm still good friends with them.

[SassyMummy]

I dunno.

I probably wouldn't really like someone who was like that - so pro-circ that they would try and talk others into it. I suspect most people who were like that would be totally different to me in other ways too... I don't think they'd fit in with my general ideals or beliefs, and I think that would definitely have an impact on the friendship... so it wouldn't be the circ alone, but prob their whole belief system and how that conflicted with mine.

[Lemonhead]

I understand the "its their choice" argument, I do. But when you feel as strongly against someone doing that to their child as I do, and when you see it not as body modification but as body mutilation then its very difficult to accept.

I think it would totally depend on the extremity of your feelings about RIC.

[bAaM]

This thread is 2 years old lol.

No i wouldnt, i would set the straight with my point of veiw on the subjuct and act that it not be brought up again to save the friendship. It a choice parents are legally allowed to make and i will not judge them for what i believe is poor choice. I like having friends with different opinions cause it makes me learn new things and see stuff from another perspective.

[London]

Im on my phone so I cant see what section this question is in...so forgive me if its in a section I dont belong in.

My answer is no. Wouldnt bother me in the slightest if one or more of my friends had their child circumcised for a non-medical reason.

[confusd]

No.

If someone decides to circ their son, it is between the parents. It has absolutely nothing to do with me.

[Fuchsia!]

I honestly can't say.

If they were actively preaching and pushing and wanted all boys to be done, then i don't think i could continue being their friend.

If it was an informed choice for their child, then i wouldn't like it at all, and i would probably express it. But i would still be their friend.

I do think its a choice, but i don't think its the parents choice. I think it should be the child's choice to be done.

I am very anti routine circ.

[just her chameleon]

That's a tough one... I'd like to say no, but I'm really not sure. I'm very anti RIC and I do think of it as a form of abuse. I guess I couldn't answer until I was actually in that situation.

[Hollywood]

No.

We don't talk about our sons penises. I know a few people IRL who had their sons done and none of them ever preach about circumcision. Even if they did, it wouldn't be a deal breaker and cause me to reconsider the friendship. I would just make it very clear that I don't believe in RIC. If they are a true friend, they will respect my decision and leave the issue alone.