How Do I ?

[reAllytee]

Ok i need some advice.
How do i tell say family members or the likes that i dont like them smacking Boof ?
Dont get me wrong i dont have a family that goes around beating children lol but im having trouble showing my sister how i wish to do things.
I have spoken with my mum about how i dont want to smack Boof for no reason as in tantys or the likes & she agrees especially as it doesnt really get you that far.
If its a case of him not listening to us when we try to stop him from playing with the fan or heater even after repeated warnings & diversions he does get a light tap on his behind to say no & grab his attention of it being wrong. As we believe he needs to understand the danger of these situations. Anyways but we dont believe in smacking for tantrums, when he acts out in frustration or when its just a case of him not understanding what he is doing ( like face slapping ).
When it comes to my sister its a different story & this is where it gets tricky because i dont know how to say something about it without being rude or when it happens in front of others especially as i dont wish to cause a scene iykwim.
My sister has a few times now slapped Boof on the hand because he has slapped her face. He does this when he gets over excited or when he doesnt realise how hard he is being & trying to touch your face ( same with the cat the poor thing has copped a lot lately lol ) usually in this situation i say the " No thankyou " & pull his hand away if he repeats it i will put him down. My sister on the other hand will slap his hand. This has only happened a few times but being in front of other family members or the likes ive had to bite my tongue as to not cause a scene.
Plus im also worried about the outcome as ive tried to bring it up casually & subtley even saying how he doesnt respond to it & i dont like it anyways etc & how mum agrees with me etc. Her response what that kids needs to know right from wrong & that they will respond in time & not to feel guilty.
Aarrrrgh !
Dont get me wrong her heart is in the right place as she loves Boof to bits & in some ways i actually feel like i have to constantly remind her he is my son at times :rolleyes: I guess i just want her to understand how we wish to do things & especially as both DP & i agree on this. The other thing is that we have asked her to be his guardian should anything happen to us & i would like her to understand & respect our wishes of raising him.
Has anyone else had this drama ?
How do i go about this without causing friction ?

[Grizabella]

Maybe you could explain to your sister that you and your partner have already got a routine in place when concerning discipline and . Explain to her like you did to us', that he gets a warning, with a "No Thankyou" and pulling his hand away. And then if he does it again, to put him down. Just say nicely to her that you would greatly appreciate it if she could follow the same routine, so as to reinforce it to your DS that if he slaps someone, he doesn't get a cuddle. that way she may understand that by giving him a smack on his hand, she is accidently confusing the situation. Use Suppernanny as backup, because she always says that you have to be consistent with punishment.:laughing: Hope this helps. Also hope it makes sense!:laughing:

[Ana Gram]

You need to flat out tell her that you don't discipline that way. If she is holding Boof and she smacks him, take him off her immediately.

[mich71]

i belive that only parents may do what your family members are doing. i had that problem with my mil 7yrs on she does not touch my kids like that and it did come to a head infront of the hole famliy but i had asked her many times not to we didnt talk for a couple of days but she did come to see my point in the end good luck with things but being direct is the only way

[anjsa]

I would just tell her 'our son, our way' and she should respect that.