how can i convince my husband to have #3

[leebeeag]

My husband and i have two great boys 5 and 20mths and i would really like to have another baby,preferably a girl but will take whichever with open arms.the only thing stopping me is my husband thinks we'll fall backwards as we've just pulled ourselves out of a big hole,we've finally bought a four bedroom house and thing are going great so l think its time to have #3.
after many discussions with him he still won't give in.
Does anyone have any sugestions on getting my husband to finally agree to #3!!!
Please help me

[mumof5sarah]

If you are a SAHM then you're not any worse off financally if you have anymore as the government makes up the difference. We have 5 and are no worse off. It will probably harder when they're in high school, but I will worry about that then!!! If you put the figures on paper you DH will see that it's no different.

[Audrey]

Hi,

I am looking for an answer to the same question. The best answer that I have heard so far is to tell your DH that another child would be the best/most special gift that he could ever give you. I am so hoping to have #3, but I am also now looking for an answer to the question 'How do I stop wanting another?', if I cannot convince him.

Audrey

[wa mum of 4]

Hi,
Do what I did. Put him on stoppage.
If he won’t agree then tell him you are taking the safe route and not falling accidentally.
Reverse psychology.:laughing:
It worked for me, I got my 4th and it’s a girl.:smiliedance: :yelclap:
It can’t hurt.
Good luck
Sarah

[mumma_jessy]

I am currently going throught the same thing with my DP. He has never wanted more than 2, and i have always wanted 3, i guess i always thought i could change his mind, and he thought that once i had 2 i wouldnt' want another one.

All he can think of is the finances though, and honestly we would be in the exact the same place financially as we are now, so i don't understand. Then he says the more we have the less time we get with eachother, which to a certian point is true, but kids grow up, FAST, before we know it we'll have more time.

I guess for me, i don't think my DP will budge and that means the end of my life long dream to have 3, and it makes me really sad.:gloomy:

Goodluck with it though, and if you do figure out a way to convince your man, pass it on!

[mim]

Oh sweet :hugs: I was in the same place 2 years ago!
How did I convince DF to #3? I talked, and talked.....and talked. I made him think about it every chance I got. He ended up agreeing to #3 because we finally figured out that I wanted another baby more than he didn't want another baby. We talked about it for about a year. We went through everything, finances etc. It was hard work but I finally got him to agree :smiliedance:

The result is our beautiful baby boy (who DF is completely in love with!)

One little word of warning though - now I want another one :o (I've got no chance!)

Best of luck :fingerscrossed:

Anne xxx

[Shellfish]

My husband and i have two great boys 5 and 20mths and i would really like to have another baby,preferably a girl but will take whichever with open arms.the only thing stopping me is my husband thinks we'll fall backwards as we've just pulled ourselves out of a big hole,we've finally bought a four bedroom house and thing are going great so l think its time to have #3.
after many discussions with him he still won't give in.
Does anyone have any sugestions on getting my husband to finally agree to #3!!!
Please help me

What is the point of having a 4 bedroomed house if one room is going to be empty? ;) I can't really offer any advice but all the best

[dannii]

i had exactly the same thing.. i really wanted to have a 3rd baby, but the only answer i ever got was "yes...but not now!" that went on forever (or so it semed)

anyways i had to think up all the good things about it, but he would always think of the bad things!!

anyways he come around eventually.. as i didnt want to have a baby if he didnt want/love him/her but i knew he would he just didnt know it yet! :D

my main thing that i would get him on was "wouldnt you like to have a son!" as he has a daughter to previous and my 2 children were also from previous relationship.

so i harped on having another boy for him. he eventually come around and we started trying. - AND we had a girl!!! lol

he wasnt as excited as me with all the pregnancy stuff, and the labour etc.. but now he has knocked my socks off with how he is such a great daddy and dotes on her all the time!! he is fantastic with her and always has her every chance he gets!
complete opposite to how he said. im so proud of the 2 of them.

i know that doesnt really help, but, in regards to financial.. i made the point that its not going to cost much as A) i breastfeed B) i use cloth nappies and saving and stocking up for the little things in the 9 months while pregnant etc etc

i also made a point saying he didnt have to be relied on all the time for help as i really wanted to do it (unless he wanted to help of course)
and just talked alot about what little will change as we already have children.... we will just be doing the same thing, but, with a baby as well!

of course he does help heaps now, and doesnt complain.

Things change when bub arrives and its not at all like we or they expect.

Good luck

[Mummamoo]

Yep, same situation here. I desperately wanted a 3rd but DH was not so keen. We talked for about 6 months (this is going back 2 years) and he was pretty set on no. Then he reluctanly agreed and we tried fro 12 months but it was a half hearted attempt on his part, and we didn't fall (diagnosed with PCOS instead :( ).

Two years have passed, girls are that much older and I had this yearning for a 3rd return (not that it every really left). This time, much different story. He is probably just as excited (and apprehensive, lol) as I am.

I can't say what worked, time I suppose. But the most important thing to remember is that it has to be something that you both really want ... because a new baby, especially one that makes the family that much bigger, is a huge strain on any relationship ... and you want it strong in the first place :)

[4mumnbub]

im looking for the same answer...mine is a bit unfair tho :( as dh has his 3 kids in previous marriage and we only have 1. i would like another one but hed say no as he already have 4 :(

the other 3 kids are staying with their mum and we only see them at weekends.

dh told me how hard to raise 2 or even 3 kids as he already experienced it and would not want that to happen to us.

dh just wanted to spoil our little one as he thinks its easier for both of us and we can give ds more attention.

[meme]

my number 3 was a complete suprise so poor dh just had to go along with it:rolleyes: .
even though after number 2 he was adamant that that was all, and no more. i always felt quietly that i wanted to have another baby.

now he is just as adamant that this will be all and i am happy to go along with that, for now:D

[babytoo]

It seems that so many of us want 3 kids....it seems to be the average number of kids people are having now days...anyway, now that I have my pidgeon pair, I feel complete BUT....I am also sad that this whole pregnant, baby thing is over...anyway, I would love number 3 but not just yet....problem is DH has a referral already for THE SNIP!!!! He keeps asking me if I have made the appointment yet and I conveniently just havent had the time to do it....what can I do?????

[FourAngelKisses]

I have 3 but I want another one. I sat down one morning and wrote a letter to DH explaining all the reasons why I would like another baby and it was the best thing I could have done. It hasn't totally convinced him, but it was a big push. Maybe give that a go and see what happens.

[BlessedWithBlue]

I went through the same thing not all that long ago, and here i am pregnant with #3 ;) I told my df that i wanted a third child and i just didn't feel like our family was complete with 2 kids iykwim? i had that feeling for a while before i got up the courage to talk to him about it though and i came straight out and told him how i was feeling. He wasn't happy about it at first but i mentioned it twice more so he realised i was dead serious about it ;) then i said no more and surprisingly he came to me and told me i was right and if i wanted to start trying for our third then it was ok with him!! I would love the have four but i know i am pushing my luck with it so 3 is it for us (unless i can convince him otherwise) Good Luck!