View Full Version : Positives / Negatives - i wanna hear it all..
Just as the title says, i want to hear your positive and negative stories on 'no-cry' sleeping solutions... i've tried CC for a good month and i hate it. My DD wont give in and we're both left crying..
Let me know what you think. i want to know EVERYTHING there is to know about it...
for me crying is extremely upsetting. it grates on my nerves and causes me extreme anxiety so it is just not an option.
My baby prefers me to lie down in my bed with her and feed her lying down. she goes off to sleep immediately.
when she was a newborn she spent most of my waking time lying on me while sleeping, or other family members. she rarely was put down. we found out that we were making her more tired and actually that was bad for her.
Being overhandled exhausts them.
i found she slept better in the bassinet, so i would bring her bassinet out into the lounge room and place it in the warm sunlight (not direct) and she slept in that very well.
when we go out she just wont sleep. it is very frustrating. well there is one place she sleeps when out and that is with her dad. he is my portacot. she loves sleeping on her dad's shoulder. she wont do that for anyone else.
very occassionally i will see she is very frustrated with everything and i will put her in her cot, she grisles a little bit but i place (very bad according to sids) pillow above the crown of her head so she can feel it and one to the left side of her body. she needs to feel her head/face rubbing on them to fall asleep.
:yes: DD I boobed to sleep. DS2 I do as well.
DS at that age was bottle-fed so I would often rock him, or lie down in bed with him.
Honestly I didn't listen to what others did.
Just try out what you think you would like if you were in your little ones position. It might be rocking, it might be snuggling... Maybe purchasing a glider or rocking chair for you to snuggle to sleep in might be nice too. Work from your little ones cues. :)
i have done no cry without knowing it had a name!!! i just did what felt right for us and that was not to let my little guy go through the trauma of birth straight into the trauma of forced sleeping times..eating times..... crying it out all in the name of routine and correct behavior . My baby boy now six months rarely crys .....im not saying it to grate on anyones nerves but he doesnt. He does not freak out if im in another room,he trusts me to come back just as he trusts me to feed him. He will cry if he has a pooey nappy and i havent changed him in time but only to get my attention. this was done by feeding when ever he looked like he was about to grizzle..... he sounded different, he was and is still in our room beginning now to sleep longer, he was always spoke to softly and held alot, baby carrier, i get into bed to feed him and cuddle ect...... im hoping our next one will be so easy and im really not saying any of this to sound like the perfect mum, i have just found for me it works, sure i dont get to cuddle my husband all night but when our son sleeps in the day or early evening we can cuddle all we like. I think its so easy to listen to everyone saying you will have to get them into a routine early , yes it helps but i prefer to let him tell me when he is hungry/sleepy /bored..... i would really just give in and go with the animal instinct you may have, have your baby close, listen to his /her cues and get in early....... babies dont get time yet or battles of the wills ..... they want to learn to trust and love so thats what i have done so far and its worked. other ways work for other people but you asked!!!! good luck and go natural and be easy on yourself xxxxxxx:yelclap:
I spent a lot of time trying to "train" my first bub. It didn't work, was awful for us both, confusing for us both. I just wanted her to SLEEP! Like the books said they should. I felt like I was the only person on the planet with such a defective child. Eventually her sleeping improved, through time. No tricks, no training. Just time and constant reassurance.
With my son, from the get go, I followed his cues. I had no expectations (just the mantra of "It's normal for babies to wake". I wore him in a wrap most of the day, then transitioned to rocking him to sleep and transferring. They both really liked sleeping in the pram, so there they slept! I found having a sidecar sleeping arrangement really handy, because although initially he needed to be held tight to me, eventually he could be swaddled and put in his cot (which was an extension of our bed) and if he need a reassuring touch, I only had to wriggle.
It's really hard, I'm thinking of you. :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Thanks everyone for your feedback. the reason why i'm asking is because i used to do all those (not-so-good) things (or maybe i should just say "bad habits" that i'd like to break) like feed my little one to sleep, pull her in bed with me in the mornings when DH goes to bed (when she wakes earlier than i would have liked), never used to put her in her cot during the day (used the swing, pram, car) etc etc etc.
now the reason why i want to change all that now is because, my DD doesnt know how to settle herself so when she wakes in the middle of the night she will cry for me or DH. i stopped feeding her thru the night as she was on 3 solid meals a day, 1-2 snacks and 3-4 BF's so i knew hunger wasn't why she was waking up - it was comfort. she took to it perfect. but.... it was since then that now all she wants is my hand to hold so she can go back to sleep. thts fine (and its soooo cute!) but its not so cute when she wants it more than 6 times a night between a 5 hour gap!!!
i tried the control crying and i have to be honest, it worked for a little while until she got sick then it went out the window cos i was checking on her every time she made a noise (she was throwing up a lot) and now she just won't go back to it. she will cry for hours if i let her (even tho i was against it, its what the CHN demanded i do!!!!) but she is a fighter....
but so am i so i won't give up. i hate leaving her to cry so i want another solution - the no cry solution sounded perfect. so i just want to know does it really work. without any props.... i'm trying to get rid of my props so DD sleeps and settles well by herself.
keep more advice/suggestions/ideas etc coming please!!!!
Our 15 month old DD is breastfed, rocked or cuddled to sleep and always has been.:)
I don't mind doing it because she will only be little for a short time and I want to nurture and comfort her when she needs it. I personally couldn't leave her to get distressed.
If DD wakes during the night (it usually happens once or twice a night but sometimes it's more), I bring her into bed and lay down and feed and cuddle her until she settles again and then DH puts her back in her cot. We can both doze while she feeds so for us this has meant we all get more rest. We also have nights when DD remains unsettled whether because of teething or other issues and those nights she stays in bed with us.
What really helped us was to let go of the expectation that all babies should sleep through the night by a certain time.
I actually think all babies are different and will do it when they are ready.
I also stopped looking at the clock when DD woke because it doesn't really matter what the time is and I actually think you cope better thinking of it as they only woke once or twice (or whatever it is) rather than they were awake at specific times and for how long.
Pooh, pooh to "bad habits", if your baby (and mum too) is happy and content thats all that matters, don't listen to anyone who thinks they know best, you know whats best for you. There are much worse bad habits than wanting your mummy close by to comfort you. That being said I know it is very tiring and frustrating to get have to get out of bed numerous times during the night. What worked for us was sleeping in the same room with him, next to his cot so all I had to do was reach out a hand and he would settle again and go back to sleep (or a breastfeed when he was younger). Sids also recommends babies sleep in the same room as their parents for the first 12 months. Whatever you try it needs to be something you feel comfortable with.
I am using a settling method from Babybliss where you put bubba on their tummy (from around 6 months) and you have one hand on the top of the back and the other to pat/wobble. The aim is to get him to self settle so each time I put him to bed I do less and less patting/wobbling. I actually just put him down then for his morning sleep and has gone down without a sound. This is amazing for us as he for the last few months has liked rocking etc.
I get from your posts that you do want a bit more routine etc which this method is great for, just done in a gentle way. I also tried co-sleeping, rocking etc but it just wasn't working for us and I was getting no sleep at all.
All I can suggest is that you are consistent and calm with your next step and your dd will get it, it may take longer than a week though, esp. after her cc experience. That is not a criticism of what you have done but it sounds like your dd needs a bit more reassurance. Your dd is also at the age where separation anxiety comes into play which is probably further compounding her issues with cc.
I found the two best things that work from the "no cry sleep solution" book is cue words - such as "sleepy time sshhsshhsshhsshh" and a "lovey" (I call it a cuddly). He now associates the words and cuddling his soft toy (which initially I slept with for a few nights so it had my scent on it -although it now smells like baby).
Also, a dummy if baby is old enough to put it back in themself (ie. use it to self-settle).
It's not perfect - it doesn't work as fast as controlled crying (which I tried with DS1) but DS2 is much calmer and soooo happy during his awake times and sleep is improving gradually.
You might like to check out this new book - Sheyne Rowley's Dream Baby Guide.
I've only just finished reading it, not yet tried implementing it. But the philosophies make SO MUCH sense and are very much in line with the responses in this thread.
I just found there was more substance in this book than in the others.
PS. My 9 month old also loves holding my hand... but only at night! Sleeps like a dream during the day... go figure!
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