Gifted, talented or advanced kids on the central coast

[peacanKat]

Hi,

My son (3 years old) is gifted. Is there anyone on the central coast with gifted or talented kids? I find raising my son is very challenging and therefore really need someone to chat to from a similar situation. I also feel my son needs some friends with similar educational requirements. Anyone else on the coast in a similar situation? :)

[KatiesMum]

I do understand what you mean.

You would like to be able to socialise with children (and mothers) who understand and can talk about the issues facing you ... as well as all of the normal socialisation of kids everywhere.

It can be so hard .. being a mother of any kind of 3 yr old :D ...

Sorry - not on the Central Coast so I cant help you, just wanted to post to say I understand what you want and why.

:hugs:

[peacanKat]

Thankyou for your understanding. I thought I'd put it out there to see the kind of response I'd get. I've tried many different activities and groups, but just trying to find peop's with similar experiences. I hope that I get more responses :rolleyes:. Cheers

[Jensha]

Hey. I'm interested [I hope you don't mind] how did you find out your DS was gifted what were the signs? How did you officially find out?

[peacanKat]

Hey. I'm interested [I hope you don't mind] how did you find out your DS was gifted what were the signs? How did you officially find out?

Hi Jensha!

I'd always new there was something different about him. Right from when he when he was a baby! I'm not sure if everything that I write here are all signs but here are some of the more obvious things that I noticed were different to other children I knew at the time.

As a baby he was very unsettled. He'd cry almost every half hour and I'd feed him to try keep him settled (I know ... I know). Whenever we'd leave home he'd never sleep in the pram. I only ever recall him falling to sleep twice in his pram. This was true also for sleeping in places other than his own cot or in the car.

As he got older he seemed to grow up fast in that where he was supposed to have two naps he was already sleeping through till 10am without having that early morning wakeup and then a nap.

He was never ahead of other children in the general milestones. He seemed to crawl, sit upright and walk all at the normal times. However, he began sorta talking/making sounds from 4 months.

He was really good with eating and suckling straight up ... always happy to eat a variety of foods. But as he approached 2 he became extremely finicky ... only eating a strict diet of weetbix for breaky, hot chips for lunch and pancakes for dinner. His snacks were always those dried bellamy apples. He still is the same... only the diet has evolved a little. He eats real apples now ... usually up to 5 a day.

At 6 months he seemed to have a big attention span to watch TV. He'd seemed to take it in without even budging for very long periods of time. I'm aware that TV is not the best thing for young minds but it was the only thing that seemed to hold his interest. Toys did not mean much to him even though I'd run out and purchase toys every few days. It seemed he'd use them once or twice and then just stop. So go back to kinda running around bored.

I did purchase two brainy baby electronic activity boards with plenty of gadgets on it. One was for logic and it has 3 beads for counting on it. I remember one day around when he was still barely able to sit upright I came out into the loungeroom and found him moving the beads along and murmuring the numbers as he counted out each one. The murmuring was barely distinguishable but you knew what he was doing. At this point I started putting more money into purchasing educational dvd's, games, toys and books.

From this point forward his love of numbers, letters, reading and computers just grew. He started out counting and saying the alphabet from around 6 months. He'd recite 1 -10 atleast a few times daily. Sometimes now instead of reciting the numbers he'll recite some basic math and can write the numbers on paper. He also used to recite the alphabet which has evolved into him attempting to say it backwards, writing them on paper, starting to read at around 2 and typing/using the computer at around 3.

When a local nurse said that there was something wrong with his eye contact (at around 2), this was the beginning of a series of visits to 2 paediatricians, a doctor and a psychologist, only to be told that he was an average bright kid. We'd even had him tested with the WISC and GARS at this point but with an inconclusive result for both autism and giftedness. So we put it all to rest.

It wasn't until we put him into preschool at 2 1/2 years, that my son started showing behavioural problems. Such as bullying or hitting other children, playing alone, not eating unless being put in a high chair, and generally defying what he'd be told to do. I'd go to the school and get feedback all the time about how smart he is but at the same time be told that he hit someone or played by himself all day.

The first psychologist that had tested my son had given us a behavioural checklist that I hadn't given to the preschool at the time because of the inconclusive result. So I thought I'd submit it anyway ... In hope that I might get some answers. OMG when I got it back ... it was really quite shocking and I cried including a comment about him lacking understanding about emotion. Coinciding, my son was getting increasingly more difficult at home. Doing things like throwing him self up against the walls, always challenging discipline, asking too many questions, tantrums that would have no reason, waking up crying, wouldn't eat / sleep / potty train / dress, hyperactivity or excitability inc. constantly talking, running, jumping or moving about, just never sitting still for any moment. It was at this point, and in talking to preschool, that we just had to go and get some help.

We took him to the doctors. She used the term "high functioning" to describe him and then referred us to a psychologist. The psychologist suspected aspergers but then later confirmed that he was not and then went down the gifted path. She tested his IQ using the Stanford Binet 5. He shocked both my husband, myself and the psych in scoring as gifted in the 99th percentile in his age group. I'd never felt so relieved after such a long time of not understanding him as she has provided us with many recommendations for him and his schooling.

So there you have it. Why do you ask? :D

[nothanksbye]

Hiya,

I have a friend with a gifted child.
He is beautiful but a challenge to parent.
I know she has a good support network of other parents who understand.

Its hard as parent think she is bragging by calling him gifted but shes not. He is smart but there are social and other issues.

I know she belongs to this group:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=6012586602

so maybe start a message there for aussie mums of gifted children.

xoxox

[Jensha]

Thanks for sharing:D
I was really interested in knowing the steps towards sort of thinking someone may be gifted. I was just being curious. I hope thats ok:p
Good luck I hope you and your DS find some friends:yes:

[Pax]

I am sorry that I came off a bit harsh.

Goodluck with finding another child as gifted as yours.


Please try to get educated on gifted children and what it is to parent one. its almost equivalent to raising a child with autism or something similar.

its not about saying my child is better than yours. for these parents, who are often times lower in IQ level to their own children it is extremely difficult and upsetting.

they often have very bad behavioral problems.

anyways.. i have kids with high IQ's. and they also have a lot of anxiety and behavioral problems.

so yes i understand.

[peacanKat]

Sabio, I'll take a look at the facebook group you mentioned.

Jensha, I was hoping you'd come back and tell me your DD was showing signs. Never mind, am glad to have assisted. :yes:

Morrigan, big THANKS for your support :shakehands: !!

[nothanksbye]

Sabio, I'll take a look at the facebook group you mentioned.

Jensha, I was hoping you'd come back and tell me your DD was showing signs. Never mind, am glad to have assisted. :yes:

Morrigan, big THANKS for your support :shakehands: !!


Ok ! I hoep you get in contact with her as she is only at the end of the freeway . she doesnt come to online forums otherwise i would let her know about your post!

[Debbieanne]

I have 2 gifted sons Benjamin 5 years and Justin 3 years.
Benjamin has never slept through the night as a baby he would sit lay/sit for hours wide awake looking around, he could not switch off, at 10 months he started talking, he remembered exact spots in his books when certain things would happen in story and could find that book on his book shelf to show people when they came to visit, he would remove shoelaces from all shoes and make locks with them over doorways etc. at 13 months he would sit down and make symetrical patterns with his blocks, he started counting toy cars he counted up to 20 when my husband and I did not even know he could count, he has the most complex imagination. Benjamin will be starting school next year and finding a suitable school that will help him is really hard. We have attended Gerric and NSWAGTC meetings as well. My husband is gifted and he had a tough time in school, he got very frustrated and did not do very well at all - ultimately ending up with a very low TER. I am worried about which school we choose for him to attend. We have not got him tested just yet but feel now is the time to have them both tested which I wanted to ask you about.. where did you go to get the testing done?
Benjamin recently had a screening test at a school and the teacher told me that he was an unusual quirky child - luckily she told me that he had "gifted traits" which I was happy about as the preschool he is attending only tell me that he is lovely, caring child who is socially not ready for school. I am not happy with the school but I am not really happy with any of the schools around here and really want to homeschool both my boys.
Justin my little 3 year old is amazing.. he corrects my speech, he already is starting to read and just blows us away constantly.
Both of my children are amazing little kids but I am exhausted. They ask such in depth questions last week my 3 year old turned and asked me what will happen when he dies - I replied with you will go to Heaven, he then asked if he will get better. I sometimes get very emotional as they worry so much about stuff they really should not be thinking about. My boys are still SHOCKING sleepers as well they cannot switch off to go to bed...

Both my boys are enjoying being little boys having lots of fun, we are letting them have fun and be kids!

Anyway, I have been trying to find other gifted families to network with as I really think that gifted kids should associate with other gifted kids so they can be themselves if you know what I mean. At preschool Benjamin plays with the other kids and copies what they do therefore does things that he normally would not do.
I live on the central coast!!! finally someone else with gifted children close by.



Debbie-Anne

[Looshkin]

Hi Peacankat.

Just wanted to add my two cents, as a child that grew up with this label constantly hanging over me, my older brother even more so.
I'm also studying arts and education as after many failed careers (at the ripe old age of 24, I am studying arts and education for gifted children so hopefully I can make a difference for other 'gifted' children)

The only outstanding signs for us when we were little was walking around 8 months and toilet trained at 12 months, although can't advice re sleeping as we both slept anywhere and were well settled but possibly because my mum was a bit of a hippy and co-slept and we had a boob in our mouth for the first 2 years of life or were in a sling so watching the videos of us, i can't see those sort of issues. We also taught ourselves to read around 2.5 - to 3.

What I did want to say, is that growing up with this label is hard work. I really believe you walk a fine line with being aware of your childs 'iq status'.

I think education should be child-led, provide a multitude of interests and let them follow their interests rather than training if that makes sense? Once school has started, definitely be a part of encouraging outside of school hours and outside curriculum learning, but don't put pressure on the child, I think sometimes parents can get overwhelmed and expect a lot because of a certain IQ or ability...
Obviously the kid is smart, so will pick up on being different very early on anyway and tall poppy syndrome sets in. The kid more often than not picks up on the parents expectations.. I can't tell you how often I 'should have done better' and how often my older brother 'with an IQ of 200 should have done better'

I think keeping the learning natural, interesting and engaging is incredibly important - take them places to learn in the real world instead of just academic work.

I was sent to an excellent primary school, but I was expelled from highschool because of my authority issues and general boredom and frustration with the 'institution'

But, and this is the most critically important bit of advice I can give you - is to spend just as much time, if not more on the social education of your child.
Often children with higher intelligence have limited social *or* emotional skills and interaction and coping abilities.
I think nurturing social and emotional skills and teaching your child that other people are intelligent in their own way is important. Learning how to cope with emotions is also very important.. emotional education is vital, in my opinion more important than academic anyway, because really give the kid a textbook and they will teach themselves calculus anyway...

So much emphasis is placed on the academic and how quickly the child can absorb this information and move on to the next and next and next.. that often the importance to balance the social growth in the child is overlooked.

I went to uni a few months after turning 16. I was young, knew I was heaps smarter than anyone else I ever met, as teenagers tend to think they know better than anyone this issue was times a zillion.. I found myself in an adult world doing veterinary science a few months after being 15.

I did well in the academic work, but it was also very hard socially and even harder emotionally, because all of a sudden I actually needed to put some effort in, and I was lazy and had no support at home as it was expected I would just do as normal, I also had no emotional support and was somewhat emotionally stunted and used drugs to deal with my emotional difficulties.

My older brother did not have the same problem with being stuck at uni, because although he was even more 'gifted' than me, he decided to drop out of highschool in year 11 start taking drugs and he now works in a servo and doesn't give a crap about status or 'getting a good job' or 'success'
I believe he rebelled in the only way he could, as everyone had such high expectations of him, he couldn't cope emotionally

If I am totally honest, I despise the word gifted, and I think forgetting about that as much as you can and focusing on them being a child and playing imaginary games and not making everything about formalised education is important. My brother wishes he never knew his IQ and hates my mother for a lot of the issues he had in having expectations put on him that emotionally he couldn't cope with.

I know it must be hard for you, I do sympathise it must be tough on you and support is important for every one! Have a support network of parents of 'gifted' children will be good for you, and him being able to interact with these children.

But please, remember gifted shildren will pick up on things, and having the pressure of needing to 'measure up' to a label is hard.. think hard about if the pro's and cons if you are going to tell your child what their IQ is or use terms like 'gifted' 'high achieving' 'high iq' . and please remember the emotional side - I think it is incredibly important.

I do think a gifted child is really a special needs child, and really needs as much extra time and effort as a mentally disabled child on the other end of the spectrum, and so just as difficult for the parents of both.

Good luck.

[peacanKat]

Debbie-Anne

Wow! That is really great. I am really glad to have found you too! I will PM you!

[peacanKat]

Hello Zeltronica

Thankyou for your feedback but you are not telling me anything that I haven't already heard or been told.



What I did want to say, is that growing up with this label is hard work. I really believe you walk a fine line with being aware of your childs 'iq status'.


Obtaining the IQ score of a child is merely a means to officially identify a child as "gifted". It sounds as if your parents had used that knowledge incorrectly. Just because your parents used it as a means to place pressure on you and your brother, does not mean that every parent of a gifted child will do the same.

Testing is not about obtaining a score ... it's about identifying my child as gifted so as I can seek the right help, understand him better and be a better parent. Knowing my sons IQ merely touches the surface to an entire array of emotional, social and behavioural issues that need to be dealt with in their own way. In any case, my son was being labelled by his preschool as gifted / autistic well before any testing took place.



If I am totally honest, I despise the word gifted, and I think forgetting about that as much as you can and focusing on them being a child and playing imaginary games and not making everything about formalised education is important. My brother wishes he never knew his IQ and hates my mother for a lot of the issues he had in having expectations put on him that emotionally he couldn't cope with.


Foremost, I am by no means leading my son, my son is leading me. He chooses to recite the alphabet and numbers, read books, make up stories etc. Sure he spends time playing imaginary games such as hide and seek and time at the playground as well. But learning is always intermingled in some way because he chooses to. That is, he'd much prefer to count the number of times he goes down the slide and tell the other children about it, than to learn how to climb up the jungle gym. The point is, I've only guided him and will continue to do so by providing him with the tools to learn or play and some direction without pressure.

If I am to sign him up into formal education such as GERRIC or have him advanced in school, it will be through necessity. Currently, when he is at school, he has general problem behaviour and sometimes defiance which is clearly associated with boredom. In my sons case, finding the right education is not at all about pushing or pressurising him to become smarter or better, it's about keeping him interested, and about providing a structure so that in the future I might prevent him from becoming a school dropout, a drug addict, depressed or the like.

In any case, the pressure that you are talking about can exist in any family, with or without giftedness being present. A parent can pressure their child to succeed and the end result be that they drop out or just give up. A parent can compare, contrast or disregard siblings in such a manner that it makes one feel inferior e.g., middle child syndrome. I feel you shouldn't feel anger at the label of "gifted" in its own right. More to the point, I am very sorry that it was the way in which your parents treated you, that led to the many problems you had experienced within your life.

Lastly, I'm sure it's not possible just to "forget about" that a child has ADHD, autism or is diabetic? Labels are merely a way that we as humans understand each other, acknowledge what is "normal" and seek assistance if needed. Why should a gifted child be treated any differently? I think acknowledging it, is the best a parent can do for their child. :yes:

[Debbieanne]

I read your response and feel really sorry for you and your brother. You should be very proud of being gifted!

It probably is not the best name for it as it does make it seem like your are more important than others, and I guess others that do not understand what it is have expectations that you're a genius and will do well in everything.

I hope that you are very successful in your study. I am 28 and still indecisive in what "career" I want. I have trouble making up my mind because I am always thinking that there is something better out there.

Your poor brother - I hope everything works out for him :)

I feel very lucky to have such gorgeous healthy smart children. I love them so much and in no way will I ever put pressure on them. I am going with the flow and I do what interests them. I have read a lot of information on giftedness and what has stressed me out the most is finding a suitable school, I am worried that the school curriculum will not suit my children as it is not all that child-led, and they will fail badly in the subjects that they are not interested in.
I hope that your brother does not hate your mother, I think that hate is a very strong word and should not be used flippantly.

I wish you all the best.

Debbie-Annec

[peacanKat]

Hello Debbie-Anne

I've PM'd you a couple of times. Just wondering if everything is ok as you've seemed pretty eager to keep in touch only I haven't heard from you?