Information and Help with sleep routines and patterns.

[LeeJ]

So i thought seeing as all our bubbies are getting old enough to get into routines, i thought id put an open forum up to pop any useful info up.:)
Also, Information on SETTLING.

[LeeJ]

Originally posted by KAR:
advice for catnappers:

OK, so F and I went to our day stay on Thursday and it was GREAT. He was in bed calm and quiet for about 5 hours yesterday and 4 if that was actual sleep. Has now slept for over an hour this morning and is still sleeping.

This is the basic run down of her advice. There is a bit more to it so if anyone has any specific questions PM me. We are doing the method on a pram at the moment for ease of rolling, but you can do it in a cot with wheels, or can prop one leg of the cot and rock the cot that way.

So, first up we talked about tired signs and amount of time spent up - she said I need to throw out notions of how long he 'should' be up. Because he is so alert and engaged he expends a lot of energy when he is awake so probably gets tired faster than most babies his age, combined with cumulative sleep deprivation.

When he was ready for sleep we started the new method.
1. Wrap arms down in a super straight jacket wrap.
2. Brief cuddle until quiet or about 2-3 mins max.
3. Into cot/pram (we are doing pram at this point for ease). Must be clear and concise about this, they can sense indecision!
4. Give 30 secs to settle. To start with they WILL cry, but that 15-30secs just gives them the chance to self settle and learn. Little whinges, groans etc do not get a response.
5. If crying roll pram back and forward HARD and FAST until crying calms.
6. Keep rolling back and forth gradually decreasing the intensity for about 5 mins. Hopefully baby is asleep. IF baby stops responding by calming and is inconsolable, out of pram and cuddle until quiet then straight back into pram.
7. Use your intuition as to how long to keep rocking once baby is asleep/quiet. Goal is to reduce this as days go by.
8. If after 2 or 3 goes baby is not settling once the rocking slows/stops introduce the use of white noise up LOUD
9. Keep repeating this process until baby has been in the cot/pram for 1 hour minimum.

After the hour is up it then up to you and baby how long you keep pushing it for. As long as baby is still responding by calming to the rolling you can keep going. Once you are spending more time rolling than sitting down it is probably not worth it and time to get up or when baby is no longer calming to the rolling.

The aim of the game at this point is quiet calm time time in bed. Can't force them to close their eyes! Provided they are quiet and calm that is considered a good outcome. Ultimately want that to be sleep of course, but if they are not complaining they are relaxed and happy and having time out regardless of whether they are fully asleep.
And ultimately they learn to go to sleep when wrapped and placed into bed without the rolling/rocking.

The other great thing is that she said the more often you do the method the faster he will learn, BUT just because you don't do it sometimes doesn't make it a waste of time. She recommended that you do it for at least 2 sleeps a day if you can, but on days that you can' that's ok, so, you an still have a life while teaching them. Don't have to lock yourself in the house for 2 wks while you do the routine like some other methods seem to require.

Hope this helps some of you. We are having real success after only a couple of days.
Last edited by kar; 23-05-2009 at 11:18 AM.

[LeeJ]

Originally posted by Karice:

Basically what I've been told to do for a week is:

at first tired signs start to get ready for bed. Wrap up and change voice to whispering voice limiting words to simple commands and use the same words every time. I usually whisper "sshhhh sleep time". The idea is to give bub a huge cue that it's time to wind down and play time is over. Then its ok to offer a dummy if bub will take one, have a short soothing cuddle in the area that bub will be sleeping (we've put a chair next to the cot) and quietly sing the same bed-time song every time (its twinkle twinkle for us) if you usually have soft background music playing in the room then put that on also, if you can darken the room that's also suggested. Once bub is mostly still (they recommend no longer than 5 mins holding in your arms) put bub in the cot (or whereever bub will be sleeping) Do not make eye contact once they have been placed in the cot. Bub will try every trick they know to get you to look at them, there will be smiles, there will be cooing and croaking and squealing and finally there will be whinging and grizzling, but do not look bub in the eye. At this point, I usually roll Cady onto her side, again whispering "shhhh sleep time" and gently pat her bum steadily for about 1 or 2 mins. Then as their eyes start to roll/droop/get heavy you slow the patting down until your hand is just resting there and finally you walk out of the room.

The main thing about all of this is that you need to be decisive about every movement, its very improtant. Don't pick bub up at a whinge or a grizzle, only if its a distressed cry. Only spend 5 mins settling bub, walk out of the room after 5 mins even if bub is still kicking, squirming grunting etc... coz that is bubs way of protesting sleep time and as soon as they work out that you're not going to take them out of the cot "just because" they will give up.

Do not go back into the room unless bub is CRYING. If its just a whinge, stay away. By going back into the room and letting bub see you if its just a whinge you are rewarding bub and they are getting the result that they want (hence the massive cheeky smiles and giggles that we've been getting).

If after 30 mins, bub hasn't given up then its time to go through the list and start again. If bub has had a good feed within one and half hours then they say to offer some cooled boiled water, check nappy, reposition, check comfort (hot or cold etc...) quick cuddle and start again.

Now I know this seems a little harsh, I was in tears when she told me this is what I had to do. Wanting to go to bubs at every tiny sound is what makes us good mothers. DP had to physically hold me back on the first day but boy am I glad he did. We're on day 3 or 4 now and we're really starting to get results. It's by no means perfect yet and we've still got a long way to go, but she doesn't scream in the cot any more, she'll self settle back to sleep or be re-settled much easily, instead of 10 min naps in the cot we're getting about an hour each time during the day and all the constant whinging has stopped and I find that she's not wanting to boobie comfort suck any more because she's figured out that its ok to be away from me to sleep.

As far as the dummy goes, I like alot of the others could only get Cady to take to the nuk type, she refuses any other kind, no idea why. But also, I'm finding that she's not relying on that so much either now she's learning to self-settle.

I hope this has been helpful, like I said, I know it sounds a little harsh. Please take note that this IS NOT controlled crying as I don't believe in it. This is just us teaching Cady to "switch off" coz like Kar said, she just doesn't have that button herself and we're also teaching her that her mum is boss not her :rolleyes: __________________