Bi-racial children??

[crazymuma]

Just wondering if there are any parents of bi-racial children out there. How do you cope with certain issues that pop up in day to day life?? I love the fact that people are so mixed these days that you never know who somebody is until you ask.

My two children are aboriginal. I have received countless negative comments over the years but have learnt pretty well how to deal with them all. Hopefully my ease at dealing with the problems will help the children deal with any race related issues in the future.

The hardest thing for me at the moment is keeping the kids in tune with their culture now that I have split with their father. While they still see him it isn't very often and they have lost the contact with the extended family.

Are their any other single mums out their who also struggle with this - how do you go about it??

Anyway look forward to hearing from you all

[mummasan]

I don't have bi racial children. but my brother does and copped the same thing. He just taught his kids that there is predjudise everywhere by people that weren't educated enough and that it's them that have the problem not his kids and that his kids should pity those people because they will miss out on so much in life because they are just general cowards. People are always frightened of things they are not familiar with it's human nature it's just the degree of the fear that controls the situation. You just teach your kids right from wrong and that there are consequences for their actions and they will turn out great/let the morons take care of themselves. As for family try and contact them im sure one off them will help you keep the kids in contact with them eg.take them for the day once a week or month maybe teach them about thier culture.Or you could contact the aborignal council and see if they have a way of keeping your kids in the know maybe they run classes, im sure they can help.anyway best of luck :)

[2lovelyboys]

That's really sad you've had to deal with negative comments, unfortunately there are alot of people out there like that.
My background is French/Croation and my husband is Turkish/Italian. But in saying that he was born and bred here and me in NZ so although the boys will know what their hertiage is, they're Aussies!
It's funny, our first son is blonde and very fair, our second is very Middle-Eastern looking!

p.s. I think mummasan has a great idea about contacting the Aboriginal Council

[littlemissmoi]

I think it what reactions peopel give depends on the ethnicity.

My husband is half chinese (his ethnically chinese dad was born in Australia), and he told me the only time he ever copped a racist comment was on the cricket field once, years and years ago. That's it.

My SIL had two kids, and they both look a little asian, but my little one has got NOTHING from her dad! I seriously worry that he'll start to wonder if he's the father! She is 100% totally anglo looking (blue eyes!), and it's so strange to see her with her Grandpa, who is quite dark as his family was from the south of china. My husband is very chinese looking too.

So, i don't think I'll need to prep her up about racism, but i've often wondered if she'll get questions at some point in her life about her 'chinese' dad. I think, though, that there are so many mixed families these days, that it won't be an issue for her...

[tyler's mum]

Tyler is half african so far there has been no racist comment or anything like that. I always have people asking my what is she my reply is australian. I once had a doctor ask me if she was adopted when i said no he said oh sorry its just your white and she is'nt:rolleyes:

[crazymuma]

Yeah I have been asked if my children are adopted or if I am babysitting!! Stupid though because if anyone actually looked past their colour they would see that my children look just like me. (although I have had a lot of comments over the fact that one of my children is dark and the other fairer) - I find peoples facisnation with the colour of their skin ammusing at times.


I have contacted a few local indigenous groups in the area about playgroups - still waiting to hear back from them so hopefully we will start there.
How does everyone else go about teaching their children their other culture??

[Pax]

my husband is croation, I am very fair no one comments

but i am not sure if that is considered bi racial

[wocket]

perhaps you could try to connect with some other people from the local aboriginal community? I'm sure there are informal playgroups etc.

[MamaKoala]

My kids are also mixed but as yet there haven't been any negative comments about them.
There are so many mixed kids around my area that it really doesn't seem to come up.
I'm sure my older son would come to me if anyone said anything to him and yes I do think it depends on the mix, unfortunately. Especially with stereotyping. The only time I have had issues is with family members making remarks that I consider racist and I immediately confronted the issue and it hasn't been a problem since.
Unfortunately with older generations there may still be some racism around but generally, I hope it will continue to be a non-issue for mine and everyone else's family.

Culturally, I let their father take care of that. He is not deeply rooted in culture though, mostly American culture but he doesn't seem to express his african-american culture much with them. I don't know if this is a generational thing or not but as I know little about it, it is up to him to teach them where he (and therefore part of them) comes from.

[Mummaholic]

I don't have bi-racial children (dh and I are from different areas in Europe originally but I don't think that's what you mean)...

but I grew up overseas in an area where many/most of my friends were. Unfortunately there was racism towards them from the country we lived in, despite the fact this was half of their nationality. I find it sad to say the least. Diversity is fascinating and one day in the future, I truly hope there will be no such thing as racism. Just beautiful people and beautiful colours.

Love and therefore children doesn't come as a colour chart. Thank goodness for that too.

I studied some Indigenous Australian subjects at uni and was fascinated to learn more about Australia from an Indigenous perspective. Around our area I have heard of Indigenous dance groups that kids can join as an extra curricular activity, I thought this sounded great. Also maybe just taking kids to local Indigenous events may be a great idea.

Also one thing I was taught is despite the blanket terms 'Indigenous' and 'Aboriginal', there are many very different groups that have very unique cultures and languages. I'm sure you already know that but my point is maybe your kids could have some contact with some Elders or other community members from the same area their father is from if it is close by?

Some links you may find useful

http://www.rickroser.com/
http://www.cultureandrecreation.gov.au/news/indigenousarts.htm
http://www.teachers.ash.org.au/jmresources/dreaming/stories.html
http://www.creativespirits.info/aboriginalculture/history/aboriginal-calendar.html

[Refresh]

Where are you located Crazymuma?

[JabberJaw]

My DD's dad is a Maori, my other 2 younger ones are not his bio children (although no one really knows that :D cept on here!) and no one ever mentions it, they all say how much they look like their dad (meaning my hubby who is there dad but not their bio father :laughing:)

[Mrs Nietzsche]

My daughter is 1/4 Maltese - I don't think her father (who looked like his Maltese mother) ever experienced anything negative.

When I watched Australia the other day I just found it so heart-breaking... I guess it made me imagine a world in which my baby could be taken away just for being of mixed race, how unbearably heart-breaking it must have been for the people affected.

[littlemissmoi]

yeah it is heartbreaking that kids were taken away from their parents.

My father in law was born in Australia in the late 40s to a Chinese family, at the time they were one of only two in their area of Melbourne, and he claims he never encountered racism.

I think it's really sad that people are racist, full stop, and sadder still that some people find some races 'acceptable', and will be hostile towards others. It just shows that people totally judge books by their cover.

[crazymuma]

I'm near Bundaberg - there seem to be alot of different aboriginal services here but I'm not having much luck with the playgroup - the one advertised on the internet has the wrong number and a number the aboriginal womens corp gave me is wrong as well.

Seems to be a fair few mums on here from this area if anyone knows of anything...


Oh and the kids family (elders and whatnot) aren't close by - they will be joining playgroups of a different (no better word) tribe however they will be welcomed and blessed into it as they are living on the land (hope that makes sense - hard to explain these things)

[JabberJaw]

I'm near Bundaberg - there seem to be alot of different aboriginal services here but I'm not having much luck with the playgroup - the one advertised on the internet has the wrong number and a number the aboriginal womens corp gave me is wrong as well.

Seems to be a fair few mums on here from this area if anyone knows of anything...


Oh and the kids family (elders and whatnot) aren't close by - they will be joining playgroups of a different (no better word) tribe however they will be welcomed and blessed into it as they are living on the land (hope that makes sense - hard to explain these things)

I am in Bundaberg. I dont know of any specific playgroups for aborigianl bubs but you could try the Neighbourhood centre (they have a nice playgroup, not that i go, but i did years ago!).
Or call playgroups Australia, they might have a listing. There are a few playgroups around, church run ones and others.

Did you try:



Jukanyula Aboriginal Corporation (Playgroup)
96 Hinkler Ave
North Bundaberg
4154 4937


Taken fromhere (http://www.bbrcdep.org.au/community_resources.html)

[ManekiNeko]

The funny thing is I am mixed race (half chinese half austrslian I look very asian) my partner technically isn't and he encounters more racism than I have. When I say technically apparently so his family story goes his great grand mother was raped by a native american in a traveling troupe that had come to Australia. He told me his grand mother doesn't really talk about it because her mother put her in an orphanage so they don't know a whole lot about it so they just say they are Australian.

When my partner grew a beard as he has fair skin dark eyes and hair ppl would yell things out to him inthe street about being a terrorist or call him Osama things like that. When he went to the airport with a beard he had police following him and had to have bomb and other security checks even though his anglo looking friends didn't.

I don't really think about my children encountering racism because I have very rarely had ppl directly be racist towards me. I do get questioned alot about my daughter and what nationality she is but they always say it commenting that she is beautiful it's never in a negative way. A lot of ppl are shocked because she is a throw back from my mother who is dark skined and they think she is either part islander/italian/spanish/mexicann really I have had it all. I once had a woman basically accuse me of lying when I said her father was whiter than me when she qustioned me about my partner being islander.

As for my 3 month old son I always get asked if they have the same father and wonder if my partner thinks he isn't his because he looks nothing like him and has sandy blonde hair and blue eyes and skin that is so pale it's almost irridescent. Oly thing that bothers me I guess is with my daughters skin I don't think my mil takes care of it very well like putting sunscreen on in the summer and things like that because she doesn't obviously burn like her own kids.

[Bubmum]

My Dd is mixed race (Fillipino), and people will often comment something about "Oh, I knew there was a bit of something in there." She is unequivocally the most beautiful baby in the world, so I take it as a blessing.
I make sure she has a lot to do with her Father's side of the family(because he is interstate)..I have a book of Fillipino children's stories, and will take her to the Phillipines when she is older.We eat some Fillipino dishes at home and I am teaching her Spanish(which is as close as I can get to Fillipino). I wonder how important that side of her heritage will be for her when she is older, and I want to be prepared in case she is really really curious about it.

[Eeyore]

My kids are Afiralian - half african and half aussie :laughing: They are both fair like DH but to be honest I am not that dark. I often get asked about my heritage as I have tanned skin, dark hair and very blue eyes, but no one asks about the kids. My extended family have all bi-racial kids and their looks range from fair skin with red hair to naturally tanned skin with blonde hair (I kid you not) and none of them have had a problem either.

There was some adjusting for DHs family as I come from a culture where families all raised each others' kids. DHs family are a 'fend for thyself' kind of family. So far they have mostly embraced my way of doing things :D

As for keeping in touch with their 'other' heritage, I try to keep it a normal part of their daily lives like using the language (try to anyway as I am not fluent) and having multiracial toys and kids books in the house.

[crazymuma]

Misskelz that is the one that I tried - got sworn and abused by some guy on that number - when he calmed down he told me he had just got a private number put on the day before and it is this one :confused: Lord help the next person that rings it.

When I explained to him what his number was listed as he starts yelling "I am not a black person - how you say that. I am not one of them - I am from europe you silly ***** lady" :laughing: Seriously haven't had a laugh like I did after this call in ages.

I love people :p