Would you have an expensive(ish) wedding if you had to pay for it?

[MsMummy]

My best friend got married yesterday. It was lovely. All done extraordinarily tastefully, small-ish but fantastic reception at an expensive city riverside restaurant.

I think it cost about $30,000 including the jewellery. I think each set of parents chipped in $10,000 and the couple paid the balance (which was really just the engagement and wedding rings and the honeymoon).

I'm not much the wedding type, but after yesterday, thought, maybe we should. Then I quickly thought that I could never part with $30,000 for one day, and our parents don't have extra money.

I'm really interested what people do, as it's a big chunk of money. $30,000 to us would pay off a good chunk of our mortgage, or be the deposit on an investment property, or a fantastic extended overseas holiday. I just couldn't spend it for one day.

So, as I imagine my friend's wedding was pretty average price-wise, would you have a wedding if you had to pay for it yourself?

How did you/will you pay for your wedding?

:detective:

[bada]

We haven't had any offers of financial support, hence the long engagement :D

Like you, I can't part with that sort of money for A day of fun :no: I too would much rather put a deposit on a house or go on the trip of a lifetime.

When we do it, we won't be spending more than $10k and imagine spending more like $5k max :yes:

Even if someone offered to pay for it I still don't think I could spend $30k. It would just feel wrong and I couldn't justify spending $30k of someone else's money, well not on a wedding anyway :)

[zenifa]

DH and I eloped (in Las Vegas)and later had a big party to celebrate with friends and family back in Aust (we were living in UK at the time) and for us it was never about money.
My parents would of paid of any type of wedding, the bigger the better from their point of view, being their only child and all (not sure how much DH's family would of contributed although they are well off), but it just wasn't us.

So no I would never pay for an expensive wedding for myself, but then I wouldn't expect others to pay either. Don't see the point myself. The marriage is more important than the wedding day imo.

[Me]

My parents paid for my dress, hair and make-up, we paid for everything else. Including what my parents paid for, our total wedding cost about $9k, a rather small garden ceremony with 3 course meal dinner for 32 guests then the photographer was a family friend, as was the celebrant, so we were very lucky there.

I'm not into big celebrations and no matter who was paying for it I wouldn't want loads and loads of people there, so with that in mind, I could never part with $30k for 1 day. Small, simple but still classy and cheap is what I wanted and what I got:)

[Herchy]

We paid for our own. I would have refused our parents of IL's paying for any of our day. To combat a huge wedding blow up, we had our wedding as a surprise at our engagement party.
I had my dress made for me... more perfect than anything I could have imagined. DH got a very nice suit ( more expensive than my dress), but we are a pretty chilled out pair, so made the day quite casual which suited us perfectly.
Our parents ended up giving us money, which we used for our honeymoon, but I wouldn't have done our day any other way. It was perfect and we have had nothing but fantastic comments from everyone that attended.

[WorkingClassMum]

PMSL - $30k for a wedding? - that is more than the annual wages for low paid workers! ($564pw ~ $29,328 pa)

My wedding (ok 23 years ago :rolleyes:) cost $1,000.

That included EVERYTHING, flowers, dresses, shoes, cars, photographer, reception, AND the honeymoon.

BTW - I had over 100 people at the reception ;)

[Areca]

No way in the world would I spend $30 000 on one day.

I wanted to go to a registry office and just do the official stuff when we got married. DH wanted to have a bit more of a celebration than that. It cost $7000 and I even think that was a ridiculous amount of money to spend. My parents paid for it because they would've given us money towards a wedding anyway and the cost of the day was less than they had planned to give us.

Our wedding would've been much cheaper if people actually agreed to come to the wedding of our choice. If we'd have been paying for it all we would've done it completely our way and I believe we could've done it for about $3000.

[bada]

Must ad my old bosses ideas on weddings (he had three) "Tarp up in the back yard. Keg of beer. Pig on a spit. Paper plates. Less than $200. Done deal."
:laughing: No surprise he was onto number 4 last time we spoke :yes:

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

We spent just over $10, 000, 7 years ago.

I don't regret it as it was wonderful, and my mum and dad really enjoyed it, as I am the only daughter to have married.

My folks put in about $4, 000. They wanted to pay for the reception, and we had 120 ppl, so we had it somewhere that was reasonable.

FIL payed for the alcohol and MIL payed for nothing.

We put in the rest.

I don't think I could justify a 100, 000 wedding, something that extravagent and I would just start to feel guilty about it.

[missie_mack]

You (hopefully) only ever have one party that you spend that kind of money and if it would make it the kind of day you wanted why not. Its really not that hard to spend that kind of money when you consider just mailing out the invites to around 100 guests costs somewhere around $60 in postage alone (assuming most people are in couples) and if you bought every guest only one glass of wine that would probably cost $400+ so its not hard to see how it adds up :yes:

My mother did her wedding to my father on the cheap and I think she always regretted it. When she decided to remarry some 25 years later she made efforts to do all those things she didn't do the first time. We paid for most of our wedding. Dhs mother gave us $1000 and my mother paid for all the meals otherwise we paid the rest. If we didn't do it then we could never have afforded to do it now and I don't regret it one single bit :no:

[Looshkin]

We were going to spend a lot..
We hadn't planned on it, but the more we organised the more incidental un thought of additions just kept adding up and adding up..

My mum offered 5k my grandparents another 5k, then after his parents got wind of that they said well we will give you guys 5k too.. but then decided to not give it to us, although they expected us to invite a whole bunch of people we didn't know - and although we only had 30 people in mind to invite in the first place:rolleyes:

Anyway it got to a point of being ridiculous and way too stressful for me trying to plan it for such little money so we postponed it and decided we would buy a house and then re-consider what we will do.

really you are hard pressed to do anything for under 10k these days including buying a dress and everything.. so I'm not sure what we will do, but I hate the idea of spending money on one day - when we could go overseas.

We were very close to taking the 10k we had budgeted, going to town hall getting married and going on a backpacking honeymoon for 6 months... but our parents would be devastated.

It kills me that you can so easily blow 30k on 8 hours.. that is just so crazy expensive, if you already have a house paid off, have savings, have a solid and dependable disposable income then sure, if not..wth?

[pennylane]

we got married just over a week ago and it cost us 16,000. we paid for pretty much all of it ourselves, FIL put in a little bit for the bar tab because he insisted on having one,and they put a bit in for their guests as they demanded people we didnt want and invited them without asking us,they ended up with more guests then I did and they STILL complained about having to contribute because they didnt get their own way on some things.

It was a great day but Id never do it again! lol money and weddings can really cause some rifts.

[~Candy~]

I think spending that much on a wedding is ridiculous..JMO :)

Money is better spent elsewhere..or just kept in the bank!

I loved my wedding and it didn't cost anymore than $2000. No-one helped pay for it as it's just my mum on my side...and "his" parents couldn't part with $5 let alone hundreds!!

100% happy with our day...and so was all involved :)

[MsMummy]

Do people include the jewellery in the cost of the wedding, because if not, it was more like an $18,000 wedding, as I think all the rings were over $10k (including engagement ring). They just included everything in the figure as it's all part of it.

While I could never spend that much, I could see how you could spend that much. I think the dress including alterations was about $3k, hair and make up $1k, reception at least $6k, cake and flowers $1k, celebrant and venue $1k, bridesmaid dresses $1k, photographer $?(and so on and so forth).

I loved being involved in the day, but I'm always suprised at adults taking money from their parents for weddings. My friends are in their early 30s, both professional middle income earners (say, about $70-80k each) without dependents. Their parents are semiretired and don't have a lot of extra money. But in saying that, the parents really wanted to contribute. It meant a lot to them, and they were really touched/happy with the day. The parents wouldn't have it any other way. If it was my dad, on the other hand, even if he gave me $50, I'd never hear the end of it and he's tell everybody he would ever meet that "he'd paid for my wedding".:rolleyes:

I'm glad the general consensus is against the expensive wedding...makes me feel less tight fisted.:D It was absolutely beautiful though. I'm not much of a crier but I started crying walking down the aisle!:o

[Bunnyhugs]

Even if I didn't have to pay for my wedding, I never would have spent that much.

Our wedding cost $6,000. My make-up artist (and bridesmaids cousin LOL) got married 6 months before us and their wedding cost $60,000. She told my bridesmaid that she thought a $6k wedding would be cheap and nasty and then after the fact, she did nothing but rave about what we'd managed to achieve with just $6k. She even said she realised what a waste of money it was to spend so much on their own wedding.

And yes, $6k included EVERYTHING - suit hire, my dress, reception, drinks, jewellery - EVERYTHING.

[sunnyflower]

No i wouldn't have an expensive wedding.

There are too many people who are starving for me to justify spending thousands on just one day.

I would spend as little as possible.:)

[MothersMilk]

I don't know the exact amount but we spend around $8000 on the wedding (for everything except the rings).
It was mostly all my money as at the time DH didn't have saving. He paid for some stuff as we went and his folks spent a small amount (few hundred).
I did my best to not spend to much - i didn't care for a fancy wedding but even a cheap wedding seemed to cost the earth.
I still hold a grudge that rude people ordered triple drinks and let their children order multiple soft drinks on our bar tab (10 each - seriously) as that cost me thousands :( I had someone watching the tab for me but they turned out to be hopeless. I am still mad about that cost :thumbsdown:
We did spend a ridiculous amount on our honeymoon but it was the best holiday of my life so worth it.

[MsMummy]

I still hold a grudge that rude people ordered triple drinks and let their children order multiple soft drinks on our bar tab (10 each - seriously) as that cost me thousands :( I had someone watching the tab for me but they turned out to be hopeless. I am still mad about that cost :thumbsdown:


Yeah, there was a table of the bride's extended family last night, and they were such freeloaders, and miserable to boot. They arrived at the reception half an hour early and were throwing back drinks, then they left early without even saying goodbye to the bride (who was in the bathroom at the time)!:eek:

And, that table would have made the smallest contribution to the wishing well/present table.:rolleyes: But they were "obligation invitees" to keep the parents happy.

[CrankyAndTired]

We spent 30k on our wedding - not including honeymoon or jewelley - and I dont regret if for a second, we could afford it and it was a really special day..

But I agree that if you cant afford it, it is crazy to put yourself into debt for the wedding when its the MARRIAGE that really counts.. :)

[DailyDiversion]

We paid for our wedding ourselves from our savings. We saved up for about a year to pay for it. We were both in our thirties when we got married and it seemed strange to accept money from our parents to pay for our celebration given we had both lived out of home for so long.

I think the wedding itself cost about 10K, we just wanted to have a wonderful party with our family and friends and we had a small riverside ceremony and cocktail reception.

Our honeymoon cost about another 10K , we went to New York, New Hampshire and LA.

It was actually good for us to get into the habit of saving because the following year we saved about the same amount to pay for our house deposit. I don't begrudge the money we spent because we had a wonderful time which we will always remember.

[MsMummy]

But I agree that if you cant afford it, it is crazy to put yourself into debt for the wedding when its the MARRIAGE that really counts.. :)

that reminds me. I've heard of wedding finance. Do people really borrow for a wedding?

[Me]

that reminds me. I've heard of wedding finance. Do people really borrow for a wedding?

:yes: one of my best friends took out a personal loan to pay for their wedding(and her parents re-mortgaged their house to give them 10k). Crazy if you ask me! Oh and she wracked up the credit cards with "incidentals". 2 years after their wedding and they're still paying it off - I just couldn't do that.

[MsMummy]

:yes: one of my best friends took out a personal loan to pay for their wedding(and her parents re-mortgaged their house to give them 10k). Crazy if you ask me! Oh and she wracked up the credit cards with "incidentals". 2 years after their wedding and they're still paying it off - I just couldn't do that.

Oh, goodness, there's "good" debt (ie. an asett that will appreciate, and bad debt and very bad debt.

I would suggest that there are people that separate before they've paid off the wedding the loan!:eek:

In saying that, I once put a few thousand dollars on my credit card for part of an overseas holiday.:o It was just after uni and I was starting full time work as soon as I got back, and paid it off in 6 months, but still. That would be "very bad debt" by my own rationale.:o:o

[KatiesMum]

I have to admit I did have an expensive wedding ... specially if you include the honeymoon

BUT

- my parents and in-laws paid for most of it
- it was their choice on how big and expensive it was ... not mine. I would have preferred a smallish and much cheaper wedding, but did the full version basically to make them happy.
- both sides could afford it. Neither had to take out loans or anything silly....
- I did really enjoy the day, I have lovely photos and lovely memories of spending my wedding day with all of my family and friends ... is precious

If it were my money however, I would certainly not have spent anywhere near that much.

[MsMummy]

I have to admit I did have an expensive wedding ... specially if you include the honeymoon

BUT

- my parents and in-laws paid for most of it
- it was their choice on how big and expensive it was ... not mine. I would have preferred a smallish and much cheaper wedding, but did the full version basically to make them happy.
- both sides could afford it. Neither had to take out loans or anything silly....
- I did really enjoy the day, I have lovely photos and lovely memories of spending my wedding day with all of my family and friends ... is precious

If it were my money however, I would certainly not have spent anywhere near that much.

That's exactly what my friends said. They would have have had it cheaper, had they paid.

And the photos will be spectacular. The bride often feels bad about herself, but she was just glowing yesterday. Made me all teary!:goodvibes:

[missie_mack]

Do people include the jewellery in the cost of the wedding, because if not, it was more like an $18,000 wedding, as I think all the rings were over $10k (including engagement ring). They just included everything in the figure as it's all part of it.

Really?? I would never think to include the value of my engagement ring into the cost of my wedding as I had it long before! Considering an engagement ring is traditionally meant to be the same value as a month of wages I would think including that would push the cost of a wedding up

[MsMummy]

Really?? I would never think to include the value of my engagement ring into the cost of my wedding as I had it long before! Considering an engagement ring is traditionally meant to be the same value as a month of wages I would think including that would push the cost of a wedding up

They had a quick engagement (6 months), so money wise, it all felt like part of the cost.

But, yes, it definitely pushes the cost up!

I have my grandmother's engagement ring, so if i married (unlikely) I would just use that to save money.

[Rabbity Babbity]

My wedding will probably be around 10-15K...hopefully less, but to be honest, I am not really overly bothered by the cost, nor am I running on a tight budget. In saying that I am also not spending outagous amounts of money on anything.

My dress so far is the biggest issue- I am willing to spend a certain amount of money on it, but won't settle for something that is second rate. The dress i am in love with is in Sydney though, and I may just trek down there to get it...

The reception is what I am most proud of- very responably priced. I am having a cocktail reception with lots of lovely canapes and yummy cheeses.

My engagement ring though is not included in this cost though, and I don't like sharing how much we spent as I am slightly embarrassed by it.



I still hold a grudge that rude people ordered triple drinks and let their children order multiple soft drinks on our bar tab (10 each - seriously) as that cost me thousands :( I had someone watching the tab for me but they turned out to be hopeless. I am still mad about that cost :thumbsdown:
We did spend a ridiculous amount on our honeymoon but it was the best holiday of my life so worth it.

It annoy's me when people do that, for that reason I am paying per head for alcohol and only allowing sparkling, white, red, local beer and soft drinks for 3 hours. People can be so greedy.

[mum2bubba]

We'll me and Grant will be paying for our own wedding.

[CrankyAndTired]

Really?? I would never think to include the value of my engagement ring into the cost of my wedding as I had it long before! Considering an engagement ring is traditionally meant to be the same value as a month of wages I would think including that would push the cost of a wedding up

I agree, some people have their engagment rings for years before actually marrying... but i guess the wedding bands themselves would be included in the cost most of the time?

My engagement ring cost than double than the wedding itself! I count it seperately.. ;)

[Looshkin]

Wait, missie mack an engagement ring is supposed to be a months wages?

Oh man I am out of the loop of tradition, how come I'd never heard that?:detective:
I have my grandmothers engagement ring too Msmummy :goodvibes: I love it soo much, I don't think i would have found a modern one that suited the weirdness that tis me.

Man i need to pick some of your brains - how are you making it so affordable?

I should start a thread for tips to save money on a wedding, or (lol) do a search as there probably is one..:o

[Rabbity Babbity]

Man i need to pick some of your brains - how are you making it so affordable?

I should start a thread for tips to save money on a wedding, or (lol) do a search as there probably is one..:o

Cocktail reception makes it cheaper- canapes, cheeses, and you don;t have to deal with doing a seating plan which is great IMO as my family dislike each other...My mums family is homophobic, and my dad is gay :laughing:

[Jender]

I had an expensive wedding but we paid for it. The main $ was spent on the reception as we simply turned up to the restaurant and got married so no bridesmaids/video/huge amounts of flowers etc. Just fabulous food and wine for everyone - a big drunken lunch and it was the best day ever!

[Looshkin]

oh no mlb - that does sound like a tricky one!!

I thought about cocktail, but as me and DF are total foodies and are either having dinner parties, going to big cook offs and eating at a nice restaurant is something we both really enjoy.

So we figure since it's our wedding we want nice food, wine, and our most loved ones.. unfortunately some supposable 'loved ones' aren't so nice... but DFs parents insist we invite them, I don't know why we 'have' to invite them, as in 8 years we have seen them twice, once at an engagement party (we weren't invited to their wedding though?) and then DFs grandmothers funeral..in which after all the cousins got so drunk some vomited?

off topic but kinda related - why do all wedding venues have chair covers with bows on them.. it seems like its mandatory or something?

[Bunnyhugs]

Zeltronica - chair covers aren't mandatory, not where I live anyway! They're an added expense and as it seems to be the 'done thing' nowadays to have them, the reception venues automatically show their rooms with them on the chairs.

We didn't have them. It would have cost an extra $200 - we had 60 people at our wedding including the bridal party.

And why are your parents INSISTING you invite these people? Are the parents helping to pay for the wedding? If they don't help pay, they don't get any say in it. It's YOUR day, not theirs.

[Jender]

Another good thing about paying for your own wedding - parents get NO SAY. They didn't with ours - not that they tried anyway

And I didn't bother with chair covers either

[Rabbity Babbity]

oh no mlb - that does sound like a tricky one!!

I thought about cocktail, but as me and DF are total foodies and are either having dinner parties, going to big cook offs and eating at a nice restaurant is something we both really enjoy.

So we figure since it's our wedding we want nice food, wine, and our most loved ones.. unfortunately some supposable 'loved ones' aren't so nice... but DFs parents insist we invite them, I don't know why we 'have' to invite them, as in 8 years we have seen them twice, once at an engagement party (we weren't invited to their wedding though?) and then DFs grandmothers funeral..in which after all the cousins got so drunk some vomited?

off topic but kinda related - why do all wedding venues have chair covers with bows on them.. it seems like its mandatory or something?

For me personally, I find my families issues amusing. When the day comes I am sure I will be sitting back with a glass of Bollinger laughing at the antics to avoid each other...

DF and I are foodies as well- he is a chef, but we're not skimping on the food by going cocktail...just work out cheaper because there is no seating arrangement...

Those chair bows are horrible...but at wedding I went to last year at very lovely golf club I noticed the chairs under neath were ver cheap ugly plastic chairs hence why they put the covers on.....

[missie_mack]

Blergh I find those chair covers rather yukky anyhow. They simply cover cheap, nasty uncomfortable chairs in my experience :barf:

Put those you don't want to invite but you have to on a B list made up of those you will invite if those you really want to attend can't :p

I have been to some brilliant cocktail events which are more like plates of entrees coming around instead of nibbles

[rainbow road]

I would rather a small wedding and big honeymoon to tell the truth.

I doubt my parents will contribute to my wedding very much if I get married, so it'll all be on me and my future husband. I only want maybe 50 people altogether. :yes:

[Leisa21]

When DH officially got engaged we wanted to get married as soon as we could, no stuffing around. I really didn't care about the ceremony. We wanted to get married at our church, with our close friends and family and that was all that mattered. I used to think I'd spend $50,000 on a wedding and it would be grand. But that was when I was a bit immature and it was more about the wedding itself than the marriage lol.

We really didn't ask for anything. Our parents each put in $2000 plus little extras. My ring was $2000, our wedding bands together were $1000 but we had those on finance and paid them off in 6 months. i was going to borrow a dress but my boobs doubled in size a week before the wedding and I had to buy one. With a week to spare I didn't have a lot of time to look. I wasn't stressed, I shed a tear and then thought stuff it. I ended up buying a dress for $1500.00. So that's about $6000 for the whole thing, $7000 at the very most, we had 60 guests. The ceremony was beautiful. The reception rocked. Our guests had so much fun and I wasn't stressed once. Nothing fell through and if it did I didn't care. I went with the flow and had a ball. I wish I could do the whole thing over and over again.. including the planning:D. DH and I had a ball organising and shopping for it :)

We spent more than we hoped but we did have a wishing well as I already had everything for our house. Our friends and family were amazingly giving and our wishing well as $3500.00. So that paid for half of it anyway. :)

[Pax]

I think expensive weddings are an insult to marriage...unless you are a person with more money than sense that is. but people that pay for weddings they cannot afford IMO are absolutely ridiculous... i couldnt imagine going into debt for one, not mine or my kids..

its all nonsense..

i think whether i pay or anyone else pays i would always opt for a very small budget under $5000

[missie_mack]

I think expensive weddings are an insult to marriage...unless you are a person with more money than sense that is. but people that pay for weddings they cannot afford IMO are absolutely ridiculous... i couldnt imagine going into debt for one, not mine or my kids..

its all nonsense..

i think whether i pay or anyone else pays i would always opt for a very small budget under $5000

And I think its been too long since you were married! $5000 hardly goes anywhere! If you invited 50 people (or 25 couples which is a small wedding when you look at 2 families) and allowed $20 a person in drinks and $50 a head for dinner, $600 ish is about the norm from what I hear from a wedding celebrant, a cheap plain (say $250) cake home made wedding invites (at about 3.50 each plus 55c postage allowing only 30 invites to be made= $130ish) you have almost already run out of money!

Thats with no dress, no rings, no flowers, no suits, no room hire for the reception (min $200) no decorations, no photographer (easily $1500+) , no hair ($60+)or makeup ($50+), no thankyou gifts.. not to mention you would be lucky to spend $20 a person on drinks and to feed someone for $50 a head is a cheap wedding (thats about what you pay for a spit roast), no bridesmaids or best men... oh the list could go on

[CrankyAndTired]

And I think its been too long since you were married! $5000 hardly goes anywhere! If you invited 50 people (or 25 couples which is a small wedding when you look at 2 families) and allowed $20 a person in drinks and $50 a head for dinner, $600 ish is about the norm from what I hear from a wedding celebrant, a cheap plain (say $250) cake home made wedding invites (at about 3.50 each plus 55c postage allowing only 30 invites to be made= $130ish) you have almost already run out of money!

Thats with no dress, no rings, no flowers, no suits, no room hire for the reception (min $200) no decorations, no photographer (easily $1500+) , no hair ($60+)or makeup ($50+), no thankyou gifts.. not to mention you would be lucky to spend $20 a person on drinks and to feed someone for $50 a head is a cheap wedding (thats about what you pay for a spit roast), no bridesmaids or best men... oh the list could go on

When you put it like that I'm quite proud that my wedding only cost 30k! :laughing: But we only invited 30people (we really wanted it to be intimate and private) so I guess per head it was stilll on the expensive side,,, plus the honeymoon & jewellery... hmmm..

We could afford it but I agree with Morrigan (in that its crazy to go into debt for a wedding, not that an aexpensive wedding is an insult ot marriage..) it can be a hell of a lot for one day - but it was most special day of my life.. :goodvibes:

Mind you, there are some horror wedding finance stories - one of my mum's friend's daughter had a 300k wedding (largely funded by my mum's friend who was quite wealthy) and they were divorced 8 months later!!:eek:

[Bunnyhugs]

And I think its been too long since you were married! $5000 hardly goes anywhere! If you invited 50 people (or 25 couples which is a small wedding when you look at 2 families) and allowed $20 a person in drinks and $50 a head for dinner, $600 ish is about the norm from what I hear from a wedding celebrant, a cheap plain (say $250) cake home made wedding invites (at about 3.50 each plus 55c postage allowing only 30 invites to be made= $130ish) you have almost already run out of money!

Thats with no dress, no rings, no flowers, no suits, no room hire for the reception (min $200) no decorations, no photographer (easily $1500+) , no hair ($60+)or makeup ($50+), no thankyou gifts.. not to mention you would be lucky to spend $20 a person on drinks and to feed someone for $50 a head is a cheap wedding (thats about what you pay for a spit roast), no bridesmaids or best men... oh the list could go on

My wedding cost $6000. It IS doable. I got married 8 months ago.

We didn't pay room hire for the reception. We had 60 guests, we had 2 attendants each, I had an Alfred Angelo dress (replica but couldn't tell a difference).

Our reception per head cost $40 - that included pre dinner canapes, a main meal and cake served as dessert. We also got the Bridal Suite complimentary and breakfast as well. Certainly was much more gourmet than a spit roast.

My flowers cost me $80. My cake cost me $100.

Our professional photographer cost $100 for the day for herself and her assistant. She was having a promotion, that's why she was so cheap and yes she's a wonderful photographer.

I could go on and on but the bottom line is if you know how to shop around, there's no reason a wedding has to be an expensive affair.

Our wedding was lovely. My SIL's cousin got married 6 months before us and spent around $60k on their wedding. She was absolutely floored by how lovely and elegant our wedding was, she thoroughly enjoyed herself and said it didn't feel at all like a 'cheap' wedding.

[Leisa21]

Tasma, you're right, you can do it.

We paid (approx)
$200 for flowers including bouquets, reception, church and mens flowers (we bought flowers from the flower markets and made arrangements - easy and beautiful)

$200 for 3 bridesmaid dresses( they paid for them so it doesn't really count to our total)

$300 for suits. We found a great shop, you could buy ex hire suites in perfect condition for $100. They looked awesome (as above they paid for them)

Church: Free

Reception Room: Free

Engagement ring:$2000

Wedding Rings:$1000

Food and alcohol for 50 ppl $1000

Dress:1500

Gifts for guests: $50. We made up the parcels oursevles

Invites: I made them myself and they were amazing - very proud of them $50


I estimated the whole thing somewhere from 6-7k. It was amazing. Really beautiful and instead of a wedding gift from IL we got them to hire a photographer. FIL knew someone who was a photographer so he took the photos and FIL made the albums so it was really cheap :)

It is do able if you're prepared not to be fussy. I wasn't fussy and everything was perfect and had zero stress... except for MIL issues but she's a mole:p.

[Leisa21]

And 2 years on people are still talking about our wedding. How romantic and beautiful it was. I've since also been asked to do other invites.

I also forgot to mention Mum did the cake - it was so pretty :)

ETA: We're a family of V8 fans so I arrived in my Uncles GT, my bridesmaids arrived in Dads, Brothers and Neighbours XR8 utes :P

Heres an album too :) http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=8414&id=745262857

[Mathermy]

I would only have an expensive wedding if I could pay for it entirely myself. i think planning an expensive wedding for others to pay the bill is outrageous:laughing: I would be mortified racking up dollars of money that was not ours!:o

[KatiesMum]

Malol - the thing is, it was that expensive BECAUSE it was their choices - so no it didnt really bother me spending their money :laughing:.

Me and DH had 25 guests .... but between my parents and my in-laws our total numbers was closer to 170 :eek:... (DH is italian - that pretty much says it all as far as his side is concerned ..:laughing:)

I chose my dress - was $900. My flowers were my extravagence ... but the extra for those wasnt really much all things considered...and to compensate I used family cars, so no limo. Everything else was pretty much their choice. I just went along with it to make them happy.

[Pax]

And I think its been too long since you were married! $5000 hardly goes anywhere! If you invited 50 people (or 25 couples which is a small wedding when you look at 2 families) and allowed $20 a person in drinks and $50 a head for dinner, $600 ish is about the norm from what I hear from a wedding celebrant, a cheap plain (say $250) cake home made wedding invites (at about 3.50 each plus 55c postage allowing only 30 invites to be made= $130ish) you have almost already run out of money!

Thats with no dress, no rings, no flowers, no suits, no room hire for the reception (min $200) no decorations, no photographer (easily $1500+) , no hair ($60+)or makeup ($50+), no thankyou gifts.. not to mention you would be lucky to spend $20 a person on drinks and to feed someone for $50 a head is a cheap wedding (thats about what you pay for a spit roast), no bridesmaids or best men... oh the list could go on

Only if you choose to have a glamourous wedding. A marriage does not have to start out with debt because people think they just have to have that glamourous thing..

do your own hair
buy a bouquet of flowers for yourself.
i had single flowers for my girls who were flowergirl/bridesmaids
buy a dress under $200, it can be done and doesnt have to be a wedding dress. look on ebay if you dont believe me.
tell guests not to bring guests but a plate of food instead
have a BBQ
it doesnt have to be posh....

live within your means is my motto. :yes:

[Mathermy]

Malol - the thing is, it was that expensive BECAUSE it was their choices - so no it didnt really bother me spending their money :laughing:.

Me and DH had 25 guests .... but between my parents and my in-laws our total numbers was closer to 170 .. (DH is italian - that pretty much says it all as far as his side is concerned ..

I chose my dress - was $900. My flowers were my extravagence ... but the extra for those wasnt really much all things considered...and to compensate I used family cars, so no limo. Everything else was pretty much their choice. I just went along with it to make them happy.

Sorry KM, I hadn't read the thread and never meant to say anything that would be rude to you. I wasn't talking about your circumstance or anyone that I knew, I have an addiction to bad "reality" tv and watch "Bridezillas" frequently.

There are women on there-grown women not even young girls still living at home, having weddings that cost hundreds of thousands of dollars at their parent's expense. It's pretty shameless "daaaaddddy can I have this $25,000 gown"...."daaaadddy can I have a second dress for the reception" ..."I just have to have xyz because daaaaaaddy is paying for it"....makes me want to upchuck:barf::rolleyes:

I really think if you allow someone to pay for anything you need to be gracious and not abuse the privilige to run them dry. If your parents are paying and then they insist on certain things well I guess that's just the way they want to spend their own money. I'm sorry if I sounded rude, I need to learn to think (or read) before I speak:rolleyes::o

[pennylane]

I agree it can be done on the cheap-ish side (we would have one cheaper if my inlaws hadnt b*tched and moaned about it)these are all up to date current prices too as it was only on May 16th :)

Ceremony venue ( included in price-gorgeous chapel,pew bows,flowers,ushers): $400

Reception at 4 star hotel in their function room: $48 per head (pre dinner canapes,entree,main,dessert and then wedding cake,also included the set up and clean up of room and bar and food staff,was a sit down service we also got the bridal suite with a bottle of champers and truffles in that price and free breaky but we overslept lol.)

Flowers :$213 (phalenopsis orchids and singapore orchids,my boquet,corsages for 2 BM's,4 button holes and 2 flower pins for MIL and step mum and a silk arrangement for our cake)

cake: $154, 2 huge square white choc and choc mud cakes from cheescake shop (so yum) thickly iced in white cadbury choc and our reception venue stacked and decorated it for us,looked awsome and we still have STACKS left.

dress: $700 Henry Roth designer gown (was last season so i got it half price,stunning dress.paid $120 to get it altered.

bridesmaids : $500 for both dresses,they bought their shoes.

hair and makeup:$430 for me and bridesmaids hair and makeup.

celebrant : $400

entertainment:$250 for jukebox hire

invites:$50 kit with gorgeous silk paper,assembled myself,made 50 invites.

decorations: $587, chair covers and sashes,they wrapped the posts in the room with silk and fairy lights,2 huge glass lanterns with candles and flowers for head table.

gifts: $123,had them made, clear cubes filled with 3 heart shaped yummy gormet choccies wrapped in silver foil and the box was done up with a gorgeous bow.

suits: $600 hire (ouch that was the most unexpected cost), suits for my dad and 2 lil bros,the groomsman and DH wore their Airforce uniforms so theirs were free.

photographer:$1680

wedding rings:$425,just simple gold bands,dh's ended up costing more than mine haha

centerpieces:$100 bought them myself,black pots with silk spring orchids in our wedding colours.

there was more little costs but that was our major stuff.I think it came out ok, heres a pic of our room,i did it all myself the day before,i think i did ok lol

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=3082994&l=e2564842f2&id=505030859

the head table
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=3082995&l=2e546290ee&id=505030859

[honeydew]

Our wedding cost $15000 5 years ago. We were given $4000 towards it and the rest we paid for ourselves. That total includes the honeymoon and wedding rings but not engagement ring.

I had my dress made for me and it only cost $500. I also made my own invitations, place settings, bonboneirre (sp?) etc which saved a fair bit.

I think its a personal thing and I couldn't care less if someone decides to spend $100 or $100000 on their wedding.

I absolutely LOVED my wedding day and don't regret spending that much money on it. I only plan on getting married once so am glad we celebrated it exactly how we wanted to!

[missie_mack]

My wedding cost $6000. It IS doable. I got married 8 months ago.

:laughing: I think you missed the bit where Morrigan said it should be under $5k and later went on to detail how your guests should bring a plate of food and it be a backyard BBQ. The wedding you have detailed clearly wasn't.

Not to say I had an expensive wedding or went into debt for my wedding either, my wedding was probably about $12k including my couture wedding dress and 4 tier cake (which without would have been about $7k) not forgetting DH and I come from quite large and close families (I am one of 18 grandchildren on one side and grew up with each of those cousins like one grows up with brothers and sisters). If it was suggested that I should have had a BBQ in the backyard I would have been insulted TBH as that is what we do for a long weekend and we hold our marriage in far higher esteem than that.

[mum2bubba]

We will be paying for our own wedding and honey moon. I don't want a very expensive wedding, I'm thinking no more than 5k. I'm pretty sure its doable. I don't want a proper wedding dress, I want something I'd be able to wear again. I'd like the bridesmaids to choose and pay for their own dresses, they could chose their own style and be able to wear them again. They don't need to match each others (I'd give them a colour to go by), the groomsmen could hire their suits or even wear ones they already have (again they don't have to be exactly the same), have our wedding in the 'off season,' don't worry about cars or transport as we'd already be at the place anyway before everyone else arrives, I'd get my hair and make-up professionally done though, my SIL used to be a hairdresser so I'd probably see if she could help out there. I'd make my own invites, place cards and other decorations.

I think if you skimp on somethings things you have more money for other things. Weddings don't have to put you into heaps of debt.

[JordansMummy]

We spent 30k on our wedding. This does not include the jewellery though. We got 10k from family. We dont ever regret spending this amount. This was our wedding day, we only get one of those and the day was amazing. We didn't take out any loans for the rest we just saved like crazy.

[Bunnyhugs]

:laughing: I think you missed the bit where Morrigan said it should be under $5k and later went on to detail how your guests should bring a plate of food and it be a backyard BBQ. The wedding you have detailed clearly wasn't.


I was more pointing out that for $5000, it doesn't have to be a spit roast in the back yard as you suggested ;)

[Pax]

:laughing: we hold our marriage in far higher esteem than that.

my point WAS that the wedding is NOT the marriage..

and a big wedding wont guarantee your marriage.

but starting a marriage out in DEBT for a wedding can put undue pressure on it.

If people want to put their MARRIAGE first dont hijack it with stressful debt.

that is what i am saying

and i dont think a backyard wedding is in ANY way not a wonderful way to celebrate a wedding.

these expensive, over-inflated bridezilla affairs have only been a custom in very recent decades..

prior to that people new the value of a buck :yes:

[Leisa21]

I get what you're saying Morrigan. I used to think I wanted a glamorous wedding. Expensive and wonderful. Then I met my husband, all I wanted to was be married, not have a wedding. Sure I wanted a nice wedding but that wasn't the focus. The focus was us, in front of friends and family commiting to each other in the presence of God, nothing more, nothing less! Everything else was a bonus and I certainly didn't want for anything and didn't need to spend much more than $5000.

[JordansMummy]

my point WAS that the wedding is NOT the marriage..

and a big wedding wont guarantee your marriage.

but starting a marriage out in DEBT for a wedding can put undue pressure on it.

If people want to put their MARRIAGE first dont hijack it with stressful debt.

that is what i am saying

and i dont think a backyard wedding is in ANY way not a wonderful way to celebrate a wedding.

these expensive, over-inflated bridezilla affairs have only been a custom in very recent decades..

prior to that people new the value of a buck :yes:

I dont think people need you to tell them that their wedding is not the marriage. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work that out.

Whether people want to get in debt or not - who cares?! People are entitled to celebrate their day exactly how they want it.

Just because people spend a little cash on their wedding does not mean it's a bridezilla affair. I find that comment quite infuriating.

[Bunnyhugs]

I dont think people need you to tell them that their wedding is not the marriage. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work that out.

Whether people want to get in debt or not - who cares?! People are entitled to celebrate their day exactly how they want it.

Just because people spend a little cash on their wedding does not mean it's a bridezilla affair. I find that comment quite infuriating.

If people want to spend lots of $$$ on their wedding then they're entitled to, but if others think it's a waste of money then that's their opinion and they're entitled to that too.

Oh and bridezilla comment I think was in reference to someone's earlier post about the shows on TV with the brides going nuts over the ice sculpture or trained doves etc etc, not in reference to people who decide to spend big money on their day.

Correct me if I'm wrong Morrigan.........

[JordansMummy]

Too true, totally agree. I think my moods are kicking in :laughing: I have no voice and feel quite crappy from this damn flu :yes:

[2girls&1boy]

Ours was expensive and it was 10 years ago.. Both sets of parents gave us $5k and we paid the rest which was about $15k so yeah about $25k all up. It was lovely and a few people have said that my dress was one of the nicest they have seen which is always nice to hear BUT we have often said that if we had our time over again we would NEVER in a million years spent so much on our wedding.

I actually think small & tasteful would be fabulous. Or even Vegas :cool:

[OneNowOneLater]

To us, our budget is pretty big (maximum of 15k). So far this is what we've done....

My dress and shoes (total) $400
Flowers (making them myself) $100 - thats gonna include the hairpieces.
Bombeneire - $700 (it was 800, but we got a deal cos we've ordered so much - it also includes the bridesmaids and groomsmen gifts)
Ceremony location $450
Reception location (we're booking the location for the whole weekend with accomodation for 72) will be approd $4500 (tis a massive scout campsite - and we're gonna do a guys vs girls challenge on the big obstacle course the day before the wedding)
Catering (hope this ok mods, but this is a pretty cheap caterer Golden Roast (http://www.goldenroast.com.au/)) approx $2100 for about 80-85
Jewellery for bridesmaids $110 (total) = 4 bm and gm each - not including dd as flowergirl
Watches for groomsmen $130 (total)
Car hire (for 3 days) $150 x 2

We're getting friends to do the photography for the weekend (we're gonna buy the film and pay for the printing after tho) And i'm still looking for a makeup artist and hairdresser that are reasonably priced.....

[Mathermy]

my point WAS that the wedding is NOT the marriage..

and a big wedding wont guarantee your marriage.

but starting a marriage out in DEBT for a wedding can put undue pressure on it.

If people want to put their MARRIAGE first dont hijack it with stressful debt.

that is what i am saying

and i dont think a backyard wedding is in ANY way not a wonderful way to celebrate a wedding.

these expensive, over-inflated bridezilla affairs have only been a custom in very recent decades..

prior to that people new the value of a buck :yes:

Gosh darn it I actually agree with you!:laughing:

If I had a beautiful big backyard I would love a vintage style shabby chic wedding, I could not think of anything more beautiful :goodvibes:

I do not think the wedding is nor should be any indication of the quality of marriage or the way the couple feels about it. If anything I wonder if the smaller affairs sometimes reflect the couple's understanding of what a wedding is supposed to be all about rather than getting caught up in the commercialism of it all.

As long as there is love all of the minor details just shouldn't matter IMO.:)

[Leisa21]

Gosh darn it I actually agree with you!:laughing:

If I had a beautiful big backyard I would love a vintage style shabby chic wedding, I could not think of anything more beautiful :goodvibes:

I do not think the wedding is nor should be any indication of the quality of marriage or the way the couple feels about it. If anything I wonder if the smaller affairs sometimes reflect the couple's understanding of what a wedding is supposed to be all about rather than getting caught up in the commercialism of it all.

As long as there is love all of the minor details just shouldn't matter IMO.:)
Yep, yep, yep. In all honestly the simplicity of our wedding brought family closer. My Aunty and Uncle were going through a rough patch and they said seeing Andrew and I together reminded them of what love is all about. Oh and it wasn't a wedding thing either, they went to my cousins $100,000 wedding a month earlier.... they're now divorced...

I actually had it at a nursing home:laughing:. We used the community center attached to the nursing and retirement village my Grandma went to. I couldn't bear not having Grandma at my wedding and we also had our wedding date as they date of Grandma and Grandpas 60th wedding anniversary. She was too sick to move and was in the final stage of alzheimers and it meant so much to have her there for Grandpa. It was the last time the whole family were together before Grandma died. The Nuns were so blown away by me wanting to have it so Grandma only had to be wheeled up they gave it to us for free:goodvibes:. Mum did it up so lovely xxx

[MothersMilk]

OneNowOneLater - I had the same caterer as you for my wedding :thumbsup: It was nearly two years ago but they were good :yes:

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

Yep, yep, yep. In all honestly the simplicity of our wedding brought family closer. My Aunty and Uncle were going through a rough patch and they said seeing Andrew and I together reminded them of what love is all about. Oh and it wasn't a wedding thing either, they went to my cousins $100,000 wedding a month earlier.... they're now divorced...

I actually had it at a nursing home:laughing:. We used the community center attached to the nursing and retirement village my Grandma went to. I couldn't bear not having Grandma at my wedding and we also had our wedding date as they date of Grandma and Grandpas 60th wedding anniversary. She was too sick to move and was in the final stage of alzheimers and it meant so much to have her there for Grandpa. It was the last time the whole family were together before Grandma died. The Nuns were so blown away by me wanting to have it so Grandma only had to be wheeled up they gave it to us for free:goodvibes:. Mum did it up so lovely xxx
That is so lovely. :crying:

And your wedding photo's are stunning.

[Leisa21]

That is so lovely. :crying:

And your wedding photo's are stunning.

Thanks:goodvibes: I love it when people see photos of the reception room and say OH where is it, do they do the decorations:laughing:. I don't think I've got inside photos of FB :detective: I think I might dig around. I've got a photo of Andrew and I on the fridge with Grandma at the wedding:flowerz:

[KatiesMum]

Sorry KM, I hadn't read the thread and never meant to say anything that would be rude to you. I wasn't talking about your circumstance or anyone that I knew, I have an addiction to bad "reality" tv and watch "Bridezillas" frequently.

There are women on there-grown women not even young girls still living at home, having weddings that cost hundreds of thousands of dollars at their parent's expense. It's pretty shameless "daaaaddddy can I have this $25,000 gown"...."daaaadddy can I have a second dress for the reception" ..."I just have to have xyz because daaaaaaddy is paying for it"....makes me want to upchuck:barf::rolleyes:

I really think if you allow someone to pay for anything you need to be gracious and not abuse the privilige to run them dry. If your parents are paying and then they insist on certain things well I guess that's just the way they want to spend their own money. I'm sorry if I sounded rude, I need to learn to think (or read) before I speak:rolleyes::o

is all good. I wasnt offended - just explaining that Im not a bridezilla type :laughing:

[mum_I'm_hungry]

My parents were fine with whatever I wanted to spend for our wedding (within reason and it all had to go on dad's credit card because he was obsessed with gaining points :laughing:), but our wedding wasn't lavish, despite being allowed to spend what we wanted.

That said, it would have been a whole lot cheaper if we'd had to pay for it ourselves and I'm guessing that would be the same for a lot of couples as they most likely are less established than their parents and thus much less likely to be able to afford a $30,000 wedding (which is a pretty average cost these days apparently).

Some of our friends spent a LOT more than us on things that just weren't our cup of tea (horse and carriage etc. -- I caught a CityCat to Brett's Wharf from Southbank for my wedding with my bridesmaids and because we were a wedding party they let us all ride free! Cheap!). But everyone wants different things, so that's great. The only thing that really gets my goat are overpriced photographers who really aren't that crash hot, or who try to steal the show. Another set of friends paid $15,000 for their photos and the #$&*%& photographer turned up at the church in his Ferrari and parked on the grass like he owned the place, then proceeded to ponce about like it was his big day. His pics always look the same for every wedding. Definitely not worth the money :thumbsdown:

[Mum2Bella]

Iv told my kids if they want a big flash wedding then they will pay for it themselves as i prefer to put that amount of money towards a house for them

[Mathermy]

Another set of friends paid $15,000 for their photos and the #$&*%& photographer turned up at the church in his Ferrari and parked on the grass like he owned the place, then proceeded to ponce about like it was his big day. His pics always look the same for every wedding. Definitely not worth the money :thumbsdown:

hehe aren't human beings precious sometimes?:laughing:

[NewBeginnings]

:eek: no way in the world would I waste that amount of money on a wedding! That is absolutely ridiculous!:dizzy:

If I get married there is no way in the world I would even spend 5G on it.... it's just ridiculous! I have far better things I could spend that amount of money on!

[I love JJJ]

No way :no:.
I think expensive over the top weddings are a waste of money (JMO and I am not meaning to offend anyone) for one day of fun.
My dad (I am the only daughter and daddy's girl) would have paid any amount for my wedding but I am just not the girly girl type and wanted a small and informal affair.
I asked mum and dad to pay for our small wedding (all up about 7k) and pay a house deposit instead.
Mum and dad were more than happy to do this.

[Lemonhead]

We are planning ours atm, and so far all up its about $25,000. We have to pay for everything as our mums are both single. I dont think its over the top at all, its one of the biggest days in your life and I want to have something elegant and special, so many of my friends have practically had BBQs as weddings its like whats the point, just go to the registry.

[Littleboopsie]

We are planning ours atm, and so far all up its about $25,000. We have to pay for everything as our mums are both single. I dont think its over the top at all, its one of the biggest days in your life and I want to have something elegant and special, so many of my friends have practically had BBQs as weddings its like whats the point, just go to the registry.



Same here, we couldnt ask our family. My mum is a retired widow and his mum is divorced working part time,

we paid about $32 000 for ours in 2007 and that didnt include rings or the honeymoon either. Mind you our orginal budget was $15 000 and it just sorta grew and grew and after a point, went "oh well, what the heck"

And i dont regret it at all :) its your special day and you'll remember it forever.

[Teley]

No way. I just don't see the point.

Actually, I don't see the point of ever getting married or ever going out with someone ever full stop, so this question doesn't apply to me:laughing:.

[daemynsmum]

we are planning ours atm and so far its under 4000 and we get married in 8 weeks
dresss 400
ceremony venue free
celebrant 200
reception venue free
caterer for 55 people 1200
cake 100
rings 600
invites free (my mil made them)
bonberrires (sp?) (my mil is making them)
photgrapher free (my sil is a photographer)
flowers free (my bf is a florist)
drinks red, white, sparkling, juice and softdrinks 1000
hair and makeuo 110
suits 100
hire tables and chairs 300
we are having a delayed honeymoon next year due to no time off work and have put alot of thought into our wedding. its completely us and we wouldnt have it any other way.

[chameleon]

Ours was about $4000 and my Mum paid for it. She offered to put in about $10,000 but it was a small wedding on the beach. It was still beautiful. I couldn't justify spending a lot, with so many other expenses.

We didn't have a honeymoon though because DD was only a few months old.

[MillipedesMummy]

My wedding was about $7000, not including rings or honeymoon. My parents and in-laws put in around half that each and we spent a little bit on bits and pieces. I personally think spending that much money on one day is a waste, and think even if we had more money I wouldn't have done it differently. I would rather spend the money on a house deposit (which is what we did). In the end though, it is your day, and you will spend what you feel comfortable with spending, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

[Harlequin]

God no. I'd rather the money go on the/a house.

[Opinionated]

We did have to pay for it, so we chose to elope, have a great holiday and put our money towards a house. We had a fabulous day and a huge party when we got back.

The wedding is only one day. It is the marriage that is meant to last forever. I think people get caught up in the "wedding" and don't put enough effort into developing a strong foundation for marriage.

[SomewhereOverTheRainbow]

I don't think 30K is a crazy amount to spend on a wedding....in some of the bridal magazines people are spending over 50k and I did see one wedding that cost 250k (just regular people, not celebrities or anything!!)

We probably spent roughly 20k on ours (including honeymoon)...
We got a free wedding cake as my mum is a cake decorator, bridesmaids dresses cheaply as my mum sewed them, and a discount on our photography (as our brilliant photographer was DH's good friend and just happens to be the best photographer where we live too!!). We also used mostly our friends cars (but did hire an antique one for us for about $200 I think). We made a lot of stuff ourselves, including the name holders (tea-light candle holders with names on them), and Bomboneires (sp?) etc.
Invites were free as DH is a graphic designer.
DH's mum gave us $1,000 towards the honeymoon as a wedding gift which was very generous of her. Both our mums are single parents so neither could help out much financially but she had been saving money for his wedding day etc.

There are probably a few things we could have done cheaper but I wouldn't change it.
We DID take out a personal loan to pay for it. :yes: We are still paying it off but I don't regret it. Some people take out loans to go on holidays etc and I don't think this is any different.
We could have held off and not gotten the loan and married a year or two later (I had only just started my post-grad year when we got married so we didn't have much money!)...but we just so desperately wanted to get married. :p
I'm glad we did it our way. I am glad we didn't scrimp on a photographer (although being DH's good friend she threw in some freebies!) as we have the most beautiful album and it is something that will last a long time.
I'm glad we went overseas as neither of us had ever been and it was such an awesome thing to do the first few weeks of being married.

[Mathermy]

I don't think 30K is a crazy amount to spend on a wedding....in some of the bridal magazines people are spending over 50k and I did see one wedding that cost 250k (just regular people, not celebrities or anything!!)

We probably spent roughly 20k on ours (including honeymoon)...
We got a free wedding cake as my mum is a cake decorator, bridesmaids dresses cheaply as my mum sewed them, and a discount on our photography (as our brilliant photographer was DH's good friend and just happens to be the best photographer where we live too!!). We also used mostly our friends cars (but did hire an antique one for us for about $200 I think). We made a lot of stuff ourselves, including the name holders (tea-light candle holders with names on them), and Bomboneires (sp?) etc.
Invites were free as DH is a graphic designer.
DH's mum gave us $1,000 towards the honeymoon as a wedding gift which was very generous of her. Both our mums are single parents so neither could help out much financially but she had been saving money for his wedding day etc.

There are probably a few things we could have done cheaper but I wouldn't change it.
We DID take out a personal loan to pay for it. :yes: We are still paying it off but I don't regret it. Some people take out loans to go on holidays etc and I don't think this is any different.
We could have held off and not gotten the loan and married a year or two later (I had only just started my post-grad year when we got married so we didn't have much money!)...but we just so desperately wanted to get married. :p
I'm glad we did it our way. I am glad we didn't scrimp on a photographer (although being DH's good friend she threw in some freebies!) as we have the most beautiful album and it is something that will last a long time.
I'm glad we went overseas as neither of us had ever been and it was such an awesome thing to do the first few weeks of being married.

Your photos are GOOOORGEOUS!:valentine:




and BTW

4 weeks! 4 weeks! 4 weeks!:eek::smiliedance:

[MummasPrinces]

No way! :no: I couldn't even justify spending $5000 on a wedding! It's just one day... I could buy so many other things with that money that could last a lifetime!

[kalgirl]

As we were in our late 30's/40 when we were married there was no way we would ever expect our parents to contribute anything other than their love and support. From the day I became engaged I shifted half of my pay into another account. This amount paid for everything. Less than a year later we were married and we spent over *ahem* $sheetloads. Just below $70000 for everything associated with the day, not including rings or the honeymoon. We spent a month in Europe and Asia on honeymoon and I have no idea what we spent on that. We owned our own homes unencumbered by mortgages, we both had invesment properties etc, I had never had a credit card and we were both in senior positions in well-paying professions. We had a kickarse wedding celebration for 230 adults and 73 kids. What a day! Would I spend that amount again? You betcha! I've worked hard all my life, saved well and invested wisely and we had a beautiful day, surrounded by all of our loved ones.

If I was in my 20's I would have had different priorities and would have had an entirely different celebration. Some of the best wedding celebrations I have been to have been held in someone's backyard or on the farm or at the church. A good wedding will always be measured by much more than the $$ spent on it.

[SassyMummy]

We don't want an expensive wedding, but we don't expect our parents to chip in a single cent. If we choose to get married, that is our decision. I would hate for my parents to put in heaps of money for something that doesn't really even matter. If they wanted to give us a large sum of money, putting it towards a house would make more sense.

I have a friend that paid about $35000 for her wedding. One set of parents paid for the booze. I think that's really about it.

[Milktini]

It depends what each individual classes as "expensive" I'm not yet engaged, but we speak about marriage reguarly and we have both decided on a small(ish) but extravagent wedding - roughly we will have around 50 guests, but we don't want to skimp and both have ideas on venues, and they aren't the cheapest places. For us to have our dream wedding I think we would be looking at around 15-20k, I'm in no hurry to wed and we already have a healthy bank account, hoping when the time comes we wont have to have a long wait while we save up the rest. My parents have agreed to pay for the photography though (which is one of the big expenses) and I'm sure DP's parents will chip in where they can.

[Myztiks#1Fan]

Nope. My idea of the perfect day is getting married at the registry office and having a nice big backyard bbq with all our friends and family.

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[Trying4BabyNo1]

Our wedding cost $20K including an amazing overseas honeymoon. We paid for about half of this and I wouldn't change the way we did things.

[TripleTime]

I wouldnt have any wedding if i had to pay for it.

[bunkx]

Nope. My idea of the perfect day is getting married at the registry office and having a nice big backyard bbq with all our friends and family.

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This is what I have always said :) I can't justify spending so much money on one day even if I was rich

[CottonCandy]

Uh... We had a pretty basic wedding and it easily would have been $30000. We were lucky to have help but would have changed nothing if we had to pay for it ourselves.

Weddings so quickly add up!!!

[delirium]

I would not spend 30k on a wedding. I would spend no more than 10k and use the other 20 for a house deposit/update the car/put in trust for the kids. Each to their own though. I have no problem with couples spending lots on their wedding, as long as they aren't hitting guests to pay for a wedding they can't afford.

It's one day. I think some couples fixate on that one day and spending a fortune, but they don't concentrate on actually being married.

[Busy Bee]

I spent much more than $30k at our wedding.

If I were to include engagement ring, honeymoon, everything it cost us $95k.

I wouldn't change it at all and never regret it.

We had just under 200 guests.

$20k was from our parents and about $10k was from the wishing well which essentially went on our honeymoon.

I think $30k is quite reasonable for a normal wedding.

[London]

I personally wouldnt want to spend a massive amount of money if/when I get married. Want to elope with the only 'guests' being our parents, siblings and my DS.
I can, however, see why people want to spend massive amounts on their special day and have no issue with their choice.

[bellalika]

I spent $25,000 on my wedding. The inlaws paid $5500. I did the stationary, cake, cars, bridal party gifts and bonbonaire, rings and engagement. My parents paid the rest including my dress (birthday present!) etc. For me it was worth it at the time and I look back and smile. If we were to do it now, post kids and no longer two incomes, I would modify.

[summastarlet]

Could never justify spending this much money on one day!!!

Our wedding cost around $7000 all up and this was everything (minus a honeymoon as we didn't have one until last year). My parents contributed about $1000 of this and we paid the rest.

If I could do it over again now we have more money, I think I would still do it the same too!

[Wonky Donkey]

Nup, I'm going to elope to America and get married by Elvis.

[delirium]

Could never justify spending this much money on one day!!!

Our wedding cost around $7000 all up and this was everything (minus a honeymoon as we didn't have one until last year). My parents contributed about $1000 of this and we paid the rest.

If I could do it over again now we have more money, I think I would still do it the same too!

Same. We spent about 6k 10 years ago and even if we were rich I wouldn't change a thing. It was a beautiful wedding, my $400 dress was gorgeous, our modestly priced reception served great food. We had a ball and we didn't spend a fortune, afterall it's one day.

[MrsBeee]

Not including the rings, our wedding and honeymoon was about $10k, DH's dad gave us $2k. It was a tiny wedding (15 guests) but an expensive dress, great honeymoon, and the wedding was on an island with a 7 course degustation menu, which was divine. Flowers, photographer and cake were relatively cheap and for music we had an iPod + stereo :D
If I had more money I probably would have had a bigger wedding, as so many family and friends missed out. It was great being small, but I think it would have been different and still good with more people.

[Astraamy]

Our wedding cost about 25k. I'm in the wedding industry so got a few favours. Would have cost 30k otherwise.

I am a wedding florist in Adelaide. 25-30k is pretty average for my clients. But since advertising on gumtree I've picked up a lot of registry weddings who don't have a bridal party and just get basic flowers. And have a home BBQ. They are spending about 5k all up. But that's Adelaide so i'm not sure if that's possible in the more expensive states.

[becandabub]

Tasma, you're right, you can do it.

We paid (approx)
$200 for flowers including bouquets, reception, church and mens flowers (we bought flowers from the flower markets and made arrangements - easy and beautiful)

$200 for 3 bridesmaid dresses( they paid for them so it doesn't really count to our total)

$300 for suits. We found a great shop, you could buy ex hire suites in perfect condition for $100. They looked awesome (as above they paid for them)

Church: Free

Reception Room: Free

Engagement ring:$2000

Wedding Rings:$1000

Food and alcohol for 50 ppl $1000

Dress:1500

Gifts for guests: $50. We made up the parcels oursevles

Invites: I made them myself and they were amazing - very proud of them $50


I estimated the whole thing somewhere from 6-7k. It was amazing. Really beautiful and instead of a wedding gift from IL we got them to hire a photographer. FIL knew someone who was a photographer so he took the photos and FIL made the albums so it was really cheap :)

It is do able if you're prepared not to be fussy. I wasn't fussy and everything was perfect and had zero stress... except for MIL issues but she's a mole:p.

Can I please ask how you did food AND alcohol for 50 people for $1000? That's $20 a head - seems too good to be true...

[pooks]

Can I please ask how you did food AND alcohol for 50 people for $1000? That's $20 a head - seems too good to be true...

Yeah I thought that too!!
I AM having the backyard spit roast wedding in 18 sleeps and I'm looking at at least that amount for 30 ppl.

[wrena]

I recall reading in the paper that the average wedding in Australia costs $50,000 :eek: Could that be right? If so, you've all had very cheap weddings

[Berrie]

There's no way I'd spend $50k on a wedding, that's 3/8s of what our mortgage will be!

[Bell & Bug]

I'll have, and am having, the wedding I want. Regardless of who pays for it.

[delirium]

Can I please ask how you did food AND alcohol for 50 people for $1000? That's $20 a head - seems too good to be true...

My wedding was 10 years ago but we paid $15 a head for a 2 course meal in a very nice private section of a local RSL club. They gave us a choice of about 8 main meal options which were simple but lovely (chicken vol e vents,lamb of some kind, a nice dory done in an elaborate way etc)They charged us $100 to hire the section for the night which included a free DJ, a huge dance floor and a private bar. We had a mud cake for the wedding cake as dessert ;)

[delirium]

I recall reading in the paper that the average wedding in Australia costs $50,000 :eek: Could that be right? If so, you've all had very cheap weddings

wow that's a quarter of a very nice home in the country. That's a lot of money :freakingout:

[Thermolicious]

If we had to pay for it? Who else would?!? Ooh the parents! Yeah right :laughing:

We will get married when we get around to it, 5.5 years of being engaged and 3 children later it already feels like we are married :valentine: so we will probably just go to the registry office, have a few nice photos taken by a photographer and then go out to dinner at a nice restaurant, about 10 guests...shouldn't cost more than $5000 even if I tried!

[BigRedV]

If I wanted an expensive wedding, I sure as hell would not expect anyone else to pay for it. In fact, I don't expect anyone but us to pay for our own wedding.

Our wedding is costing about 10k. I'd rather put that on the mortgage, but getting married is important to my partner.

[fionaross]

I'm getting married in Jan next year and my fiancé and I have kept costs down to 6k. It's important to us but with bub on the way now we really want to spend the money on it so I'm making as much as I can and only using professionals when we have to ie. photographer.


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[scarymarygoldfish]

Ours cost $17K which isn't huge, but we paid for it all ourselves and before we had a child and mortgage. I wouldn't spend that much now, of my money and certainly not anyone else's.