What do you do in the middle of the night??

[em1984]

Hi guys. Well after another terrible night I think I'm coming to my wits end and seriously contemplating doing some controlled crying :crying:
Its not something I've wanted to do, but i just dont know what else I can try? What I wanted to know is, what do you do in the middle of the night. I just cant imagine leaving Noah to cry in the middle of the night. It will wake up the neighbours?! And my partner who has to get up really early for work? I just dont know whether cc will work for us at all, as Noah gets quite worked up pretty quickly and I refuse to let him scream if he is like that, I only feel remotely comfortable with letting him grizzle. ah i just dont know what to do, any words of wisdom for me ladies??

[lupa]

Hi Em,

I go to a sleep doc and his way is a kind of "no nonsense" attitude. He will put things in perspective.

The most important thing in the early months is getting enough sleep, for the baby and the parents. Well slept parents means that you can do a better job at parenting and a well slept baby means a happy and healthy baby. The night time sleep is obviously the most important one and is actually the easiest (meant to be) to get right.

I was taught that one of the best things you can do for your children is to teach good sleep skills. Which means teaching them how to put themselves back to sleep. What is more important? Teaching your baby these skills or a couple of tough nights? Your partner will survive and so will your neighbours. Your baby is more important.

Before I go further, you can't do this if your baby has a medical condition. This doesn't include teething.

Patting, rocking, feeding, singing are all wonderful things you do with your child. These are sleep cues. So you're not constantly returning to the cot every 2 hours to do these things, you have to introduce new cues to your baby that doesn't include you that suggest it's time for sleep: cot, full tummy, bath, dry nappy, mobile, familiar room, blankets, whatever.

If your baby is fed, dry, clean, warm, loved and tired, he WILL sleep.

Try this:

5-6pm: Final feed, solids, bath (make this the indication that a big sleep is coming up). Put baby down to sleep, sing a song, say your love and goodnights. Walk away. Have a watch on you. After 5 mins, come back and just stroke his head etc, don't pick him up. Only stay for 1-2 mins, then leave. wait 10 mins then return. Keep doing this adding 5 mins on.

Always remember: This isn't harming your son, consistency is the key and you are teaching him a wonderful skill.

Do this for 3 days, and after 3 days, don't return to him after you put him down. Remember consistency, if you decide to give in he will learn that if he cries for 3 days, you will give in!

Aim for 5 hours, then gradually build up to 8. I give a rollover feed at 10pm to last until 6am. I gently lift him at that time, change his nappy and feed.

Support from your partner is so important. Watch a movie together, play some music, or cards. Whatever takes your mind off it.

Good Luck

[Jender]

Just to add to that - some babies don't like the rollover feed or they wake up later anyway. My DD didn't and she slept through at 10 weeks. Also, if baby is getting a solid block of sleep and wakes at odd hours but with at least a decent block of sleep between them, they may be hungry. Its when they wake up at the same time, and don't really feed - you know its a habit

[wocket]

Every baby is different, you need to listen to their emotional cues, not stick to a rigid schedule. By all means try the first bit of only coming back every 5-10 mins. let them know you're around. if they're not used to this they'll innitally feel abandoned/alone. i'm not saying this to make you feel guilty. think about caveman days. babys evloved to react to feeling alone, and being vunerable, by crying to gain adult attention.

it's a hard process to get them used to sleep at night. My little one still wakes up at around 4:30 am (bed time around 7ish) for a quick thirst quenching breastfeed and then goes strait back to sleep till 8:30am. What we find works is for her to know that we're still around, early in the evening if her crys get too intense she will be stroked or picked up (depends on intensity).

later at night when she crys out she knows she'll be attended to quickly...which has actually helped her sleep longer! We noticed early on that if she goes to sleep upset she awakes immediatly upset. goes to sleep calmly she'll sleep an extra 3 hours or more and wakes us up with a polite "ah!" sound.

Feel free to PM me for a chat.

[lupa]

read http://www.silentnights.org/printouts/your_baby.pdf