How do I tell them?

[mummyT]

Long story short, I am reconciling with my ex DP after 2.5yrs apart. Our previous relationship was stormy, horrible & he was a hopeless case who my parents hated more than I can explain! They still do. Ex has made huge changes in his life since we split, including leaving a great job, friends & family to relocate interstate to be closer to us, taking a low paid job & committing himself basically totally to being the father he missed out on being to begin with. He's been living here 6 months now and has been totally fantastic - he wants a family, he's a great father, he's done everything right and simply said, we still love each other and want to try again to be a family.
But how do I tell MY :( family??? They hate this man, they don't believe for one second that people are able to change their life or behaviour (we were younger - only 22 when we split, so had a lot of growing up to do), and have told me in no uncertain terms that they will have nothing more to do with me if I ever return to a relationship with him. But I have realised that this is my only life, and I have to choose to live it to make myself & my son happy, not everyone else. But whenever I try to broach the subject with my mum, she just cuts me off, doesn't want to hear his name mentioned in a conversation to her - so how on earth do I tell her we want to reconcile????:(

[diamonds22]

To be honest, I don't think you need to tell them, especially because it appears they may not react well...why add extra stress to yourself?

I guess what I’m trying to say, is your an adult and definitely don't need there approval.

If your sure that you want to reconcile with him then you should, see how it go's and if it doe's go well then later on in the future (way down the track, after your sure your happy with everything) drop it into a conversation...but have the facts to back you up like..."we have been back together for 6mths/year ect and everything is working out fantastic:ecomcity: "

my parents had a problem with my man back when i was first with him (bout 5years ago) but it was no point me listening to them, it was up to me and I had to follow my heart.....5years later down the track, they absolutely love him like the son they never had...in fact hes now my dads best friend.

It just takes time....remember they aren’t with him you are...there not going to see all the changes and they certainly don't know him as well as you do.

good luck and big hugs anyway:hugs:

[SassyMummy]

Perhaps you just need to sit down and talk to them about it. They are adults, and, while I imagine it will be difficult for them to fully accept YOU as an adult (after all, you'll always be THEIR child), you need to do your best to make them realise that you are an adult and that your decisions are your own to make, regardless of what they want for you.

Is it possible that one of the major reasons your parents HATE him is because of hear-say? As in...things you told them about him. I imagine that a lot of what they "know" about your relationship came directly from your mouth. Is it also possible that a lot of what you had said was exaggerated due to anger/frustration etc?

I know that when I'm upset/mad with someone, I will exaggerate my story, and put more emphasis on things so that the person seems worse than they actually are. I know that a lot of people do a similar thing...and you know why? Because you want the people you're whinging to, to AGREE with you...so you go all out in convincing them.

Perhaps you should explain to your parents that a lot of what you said to them was exaggerated due to your anger at the time, and that, while they got SOME of the story, you didn't tell them EVERYTHING (it's pretty normal for people to leave out SOME of the story...usually because they don't want to tell the things that may reflect badly on themselves).

If your parents aren't willing to accept that you and your ex are trying to reconcile, then let them know that it is your decision, and that while you wish they would allow you to make your own decisions as an adult, you certainly aren't going to let their opinions change your mind. You are doing what you feel is best for both yourself and your child, and that is all that you can do.

Hopefully, as parents and as adults, they'll respect that...even if it DOES take them a while to come around.

[*Chels*]

Your parents are acting this way coz they love and care about you.Having said that,they should support your decisions in life.
Its so sad that they would cut you out of their life like that.I think its just a threat,they couldnt handle not seeing you or your son.
I think the best thing to do would be upfront and honest with them.Maybe write them a letter so you can say everything you want about your DP changing without getting interrupted or into a fight.
If your DP can prove himself to them,they may just relax and change their minds about him.
Good on you for giving it another go,I hope it all works out with your family.:hugs:

[Niki]

they would be doing out of care but its your life and you can tell he has changed and if u want him bak you should go for it:thumbsup: Maybe they will come round wen they see how much he has changed and that he is a good father!

[rynosmum]

Your parents are acting this way coz they love and care about you.Having said that,they should support your decisions in life.
Its so sad that they would cut you out of their life like that.I think its just a threat,they couldnt handle not seeing you or your son.
I think the best thing to do would be upfront and honest with them.Maybe write them a letter so you can say everything you want about your DP changing without getting interrupted or into a fight.
If your DP can prove himself to them,they may just relax and change their minds about him.
Good on you for giving it another go,I hope it all works out with your family.:hugs:
I agree. I hope he has truly changed and is able to prove this. Best of Luck !

[Hokey Pokey]

Well done to your ex for getting his act together, as for your family,if it was me and my family were not willing to forgive then I would be telling them where to go.