Have You Had An Abortion?

[A Party of Five]

You dont have to reply to the thread if you don't want too just vote :)

[Ana Gram]

I don't mind answering. I haven't had one but if I got pregnant again, I would. I have had the morning after pill though.

[A Party of Five]

I don't mind answering. I haven't had one but if I got pregnant again, I would. I have had the morning after pill though.

Thank you sharing :hugs:

[stellarella]

I've never had one but I would consider it.

I wouldn't ever have one now, but I wouldn't have hesitated had I fallen pregnant before I was ready and I wouldn't hesitate if I fall pregnant later on in life when I don't want a baby.

[Hollywood]

No I haven't, and in my current situation I wouldn't consider it (married in a monogamous relationship, one day want another baby or two)

[Beany]

Never had one but would consider it under certain conditions :)

[Pax]

i have spoken on this topic elsewhere on this forum. and this forum has taught me one thing about myself. the more emotionally close to a topic i am personally the more abrupt and seemingly heartless i tend to post...

go figure.. i am a strange fruit!

so seeing this is a very emotive topic for me, i will say

yes i have had one, yes i regret it and lets leave it at that hey..

RIP little one. :(

[A Party of Five]

I've never had one but I would consider it.

I wouldn't ever have one now, but I wouldn't have hesitated had I fallen pregnant before I was ready and I wouldn't hesitate if I fall pregnant later on in life when I don't want a baby.


No I haven't, and in my current situation I wouldn't consider it (married in a monogamous relationship, one day want another baby or two)


Never had one but would consider it under certain conditions :)

Thank you all for sharing :hugs:


i have spoken on this topic elsewhere on this forum. and this forum has taught me one thing about myself. the more emotionally close to a topic i am personally the more abrupt and seemingly heartless i tend to post...

go figure.. i am a strange fruit!

so seeing this is a very emotive topic for me, i will say

yes i have had one, yes i regret it and lets leave it at that hey..

RIP little one. :(

Big hugs sweetie :hugs:

[Looshkin]

Yes.

I wouldn't now as I'm ready and wanting (as ready as I'll ever be) children now at 24/25.

I do not regret it, I would have been a terrible parent at 16, I could barely take care of myself I was living in squats and attending early entry university and although I'm still with the same partner I know in my heart he would have been entirely incapable of dealing with the nurture of a human life 9 years ago.

I do feel shame in admitting it, even though I am fine with my decision, as I know there will be people that would judge me harshly on this decision, maybe decide not to speak to me and the social taboo that exists to openly discuss or admit that you have been 'that person' is a strong one.

[A Party of Five]

Yes.

I wouldn't now as I'm ready and wanting (as ready as I'll ever be) children now at 24/25.

I do not regret it, I would have been a terrible parent at 16, I could barely take care of myself I was living in squats and attending early entry university and although I'm still with the same partner I know in my heart he would have been entirely incapable of dealing with the nurture of a human life 9 years ago.

I do feel shame in admitting it, even though I am fine with my decision, as I know there will be people that would judge me harshly on this decision, maybe decide not to speak to me and the social taboo that exists to openly discuss or admit that you have been 'that person' is a strong one.

You have nothing to be shamed off you did what was the best for you and your baby at the time :hugs:

[Nomsie]

Yes, it was the right thing for me to do at the time.

But he came back to me and bought a little friend, so we are all happy again :)

[~Candy~]

Yes I have had 1. It was a long time ago, no regrets...it's all in the past :)

[Mrs Nietzsche]

I had one at 21.

I wouldn't say I regret it *exactly* - but I pretty much had a nervous breakdown afterwards. I remember running into a counsellor's office at uni and they thought I'd just been raped or something, I was so devestated.

I fully support every woman's right to choose whether or not to continue her pregnancy, adn to be totally supported in her decision, whatever it is.

[3blue&1pink]

I have never had one and never would have one.

[Mummaholic]

I was talking to DH about this last night, coincidentally.

The circumstances would have to be exceptionally dire for me to consider this; for example, risk of death to me or child, severe disabilities, in the occasion of rape.

Otherwise, no.

However I am PRO CHOICE and fully support any woman's decision to choose a termination if it is what she needs and wants.

[Hokey Pokey]

I have never had one, never considered one and don't think I ever could.

[Booo]

No and I wouldnt. But I think everyone has a right to their own decision whether I agree or not

[studyingECS]

No I haven't, would definetly depend on age and my circumstances at the time as to wether I would get one or not. If I got pregnant now I would consider it one of my options.

[rainbow road]

It's not something I personally would ever consider, but I don't judge anyone who chooses to have one.

I took my friend to a clinic the other day to have one and it was the most harrowing experience of my life, I would never want to go through it myself.

[Baby Girl]

At risk of being judged harshly, I will be totally open about my experiences.

I have had 2 terminations.

One when I was 21 and was involved in a relationship with a married (but separated) drug addict who was still sleeping with his 'wife' behind my back and ended up almost killing me. I have no regrets at all. Not the type of man I would want to have a child to and not the type of man I would want to father my child. He and his wife had 2 kids he was slowly destroying lives for already.

My second was between my 2 children. DP at the time and I were in a very bad state and to have had another child at the time would have made things terribly bad. As it turns out we split up and then got back together, had our 2nd DD and split up 18 months later anyway. There was a lot of anger and hate between us for a long time. Again, I have no regrets. It was what was best for us at the time. I was about to become a single Mummy and I would not have been able to cope with the changes that was about to bring and having another baby at the time. I was barely coping already :gloomy: At the time I was pretty much suicidal and hated myself and everything in my life.

ETA: I just wanted to add I was taking birth control pills both times. Wasn't like I was just DTD without any thought for the consequences at all.

[Fuchsia!]

No i haven't. I would like to think that i would never have one. I would never tell a woman not to have one either.

I can't if i would or wouldn't unless im in that situation

[JasmineLouise]

no i have never had an abortion. I would like to think i would never consider having one either. I couldn't really give an honest answer though... there are situations where i would consider it.

I would never judge anyone for choosing to abort. I know it would not be an easy decision for anyone to make :hugs:

[Lillynix]

I've never had an abortion and nor would I ever have one. It's just not something that I would ever personally choose to do.

However, I am very much pro-choice on this issue :yes:

[Mischief]

No, I have never had one, and would never consider it.

I try to be understanding and non judgemental of other women's decisions though, but personally I am very strongly Pro Life.

Its not up to me to judge another. If they do wrong, then that is between them, and whatever god they believe in, or their partner, etc. Not between them and myself. Not my place to be judge and jury!

[Tam-I-Am]

I have never had one....and at this time in my life it's hard for me to see myself in a position where I might chose one.

However, having said that I'm STRONGLY pro-choice and am thankful that we live in a country that has laws to protect a woman's right to access abortion.

[naget]

I've had one and I absolutely don't regret it. I had just started a new career (which was important cuz i'd worked hard for 4 yrs to get to that point) and I hadn't been with the father for very long. I just decided that I didn't have the tools available (emotionally or physically) to give that child the life they deserved so I aborted.

[sandy_1902]

I put the last one but then i thought

i havent but i would consider it if i feel pregnant after this child. emotional and finacally could not deal with 3 kids.

normally i would say no no no.. but its jsut not a chioce i could not consider at this stage in my life, (like i would have to consider it)

[2girls&1angelboy]

yes i have had 1 regret it everyday
i was 16 at the time my sisters partner pressured me n i stupidly gave in.

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

I have never had one. I can fully understand why some one may consider it. I can't say if I ever would or not.

[canberramomma]

I have. I have mixed feelings. I think (no, I know) I was forced into it by other (female) members of my family the first time.

The second time, I was in a bad, bad place and a child had no business being there.

I have also supported other people in their decisions on whether to terminate or not.

I think it's a very individual thing that should be protected.

[nsmonkey]

No I have never had one before.

And yes I would consider it under circumstances.

[reAllytee]

Yes I have but cant choose any of the options given.

It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life.

Do I regret it ? Yes & no !

Of course I think of the what if's, what my baby would look like now at *gulp* 12yrs of age & just knowing that I never really met my baby. It breaks me at times.

But at the end of the day I know I made the best decision I could at that time for me & for my baby because I was nowhere near ready enough to carry a baby full term let alone become a mum.

I dont think I could do it again but if under certain circumstances I couldnt say definitely what path I would choose.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

:no: and not really. I can't say I never would because I don't know what kind of situation I may find myself in but generally where I am now, no.

[SassyMummy]

I haven't. I've luckily only fallen pregnant once, and that resulted in DD being born.

Prior to having her, I was strictly pro-life except in the case of rape.I figured that if you didn't want a child, you shouldn't have sex. There was never any question as to whether or not I'd keep DD.

After having her, I realised exactly what having a child was like, and why some people would not be able to deal with it, for whatever reason.

My way of thinking, in a lot of areas, has changed. Life isn't so black and white for me anymore.

If I fell pregnant now, I would most definitely consider an abortion. I am not at a point in my life where it would be a good idea to bring a child into this world, and nor is my partner. We'd like to have a baby together oneday... but when we are ready, not when it is thrust upon us due to contraceptive failure. :)

[RoarsomeMum]

Like many of the other poster's behind me :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Yes, I had an Abortion, and YES I regret it. I was 14 and beyond useless as a human being, If I had continued with the pregnancy, I would have made myself keep the baby, and man, What a sorry state of affairs it would have been. I just WISH I had known, that decision would change me for the rest of my life, make it even harder to look in the mirror.. To this day, the only way I can justify my "anti abortion" mentality has nothing to do with "right to life" I simply think it's a decision that is to hard to live with, to hard to recover from, WAY to hard to forgive yourself for (Just for me, I know some women who truly ARE able to live with their choices, and I am grateful for that, I would not wish this lack of peace to anyone).

Then, Infertility, Man, its SOOOOOOOOO hard not to equate that to "punishment" for the abortion, even though I intellectually understand it's not the case..

Off to hug my Beautiful daughter, Pray a bit, and have a damn good cry. :hugs::hugs: to anyone struggling today.

[Skittles]

I never have and never would.

[KatiesMum]

No I have never had one.

No I wouldnt consider one, unless the meds I am on caused fetal abnormalities inconsistant with life.

But I am pro-choice, and definitely support the right of all women to choose what is best for them in their circumstances.

:hugs:


(and Ahem - :hugs:. it is NOT punishment. try not to beat yourself up. :hugs:)

[OurLittleBlessing]

Like many of the other poster's behind me

Yes, I had an Abortion, and YES I regret it. I was 14 and beyond useless as a human being, If I had continued with the pregnancy, I would have made myself keep the baby, and man, What a sorry state of affairs it would have been. I just WISH I had known, that decision would change me for the rest of my life, make it even harder to look in the mirror.. To this day, the only way I can justify my "anti abortion" mentality has nothing to do with "right to life" I simply think it's a decision that is to hard to live with, to hard to recover from, WAY to hard to forgive yourself for (Just for me, I know some women who truly ARE able to live with their choices, and I am grateful for that, I would not wish this lack of peace to anyone).

Then, Infertility, Man, its SOOOOOOOOO hard not to equate that to "punishment" for the abortion, even though I intellectually understand it's not the case..

Off to hug my Beautiful daughter, Pray a bit, and have a damn good cry. to anyone struggling today.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Benji]

I haven't although I can't say I "never" would. In a normal, healthy pregnancy that resulted from consensual sex I would keep the bub.

But we just never know what can happen.

A friend of mine who would "never" have a termination recently had to due to the embryo's placenta being attached to her previous caesarian scar, a very rare condition that would have more than likely killed the foetus anyway and possibly her too :(

I don't judge her at all, in fact, I can't see how there can possibly be a 'no termination' stance in a case like hers at all.

If something like that happened to me, I wouldn't hesitate to terminate, as heartbreaking as it was for my poor friend.

[DreamBelieveAchieve]

i have been sitting here for about 20 minutes trying to think of my answer. I have always thought yes i would consider it. After reading the post by Ahem i now don't think i could. I had a m/c at 15 weeks that i still havent forgiven myself for, so there is no way i could make the decision to terminate.

:hugs: to everyone who has had to make this extremly hard decision.

[shelle65]

I have, and although I had twinges of regret over the years, when I had my DD I realised that it was definitely the right decision at the time - I couldn't have given a child the life it deserved at that time, and that is all there was to it.

:hugs::hugs: to everyone

[A Party of Five]

Yes, it was the right thing for me to do at the time.

But he came back to me and bought a little friend, so we are all happy again


Yes I have had 1. It was a long time ago, no regrets...it's all in the past


I had one at 21.

I wouldn't say I regret it *exactly* - but I pretty much had a nervous breakdown afterwards. I remember running into a counsellor's office at uni and they thought I'd just been raped or something, I was so devastated.

I fully support every woman's right to choose whether or not to continue her pregnancy, adn to be totally supported in her decision, whatever it is.


At risk of being judged harshly, I will be totally open about my experiences.

I have had 2 terminations.

One when I was 21 and was involved in a relationship with a married (but separated) drug addict who was still sleeping with his 'wife' behind my back and ended up almost killing me. I have no regrets at all. Not the type of man I would want to have a child to and not the type of man I would want to father my child. He and his wife had 2 kids he was slowly destroying lives for already.

My second was between my 2 children. DP at the time and I were in a very bad state and to have had another child at the time would have made things terribly bad. As it turns out we split up and then got back together, had our 2nd DD and split up 18 months later anyway. There was a lot of anger and hate between us for a long time. Again, I have no regrets. It was what was best for us at the time. I was about to become a single Mummy and I would not have been able to cope with the changes that was about to bring and having another baby at the time. I was barely coping already At the time I was pretty much suicidal and hated myself and everything in my life.

ETA: I just wanted to add I was taking birth control pills both times. Wasn't like I was just DTD without any thought for the consequences at all.


yes i have had 1 regret it everyday
i was 16 at the time my sisters partner pressured me n i stupidly gave in.


I have. I have mixed feelings. I think (no, I know) I was forced into it by other (female) members of my family the first time.

The second time, I was in a bad, bad place and a child had no business being there.

I have also supported other people in their decisions on whether to terminate or not.

I think it's a very individual thing that should be protected.


Yes I have but cant choose any of the options given.

It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life.

Do I regret it ? Yes & no !

Of course I think of the what ifs, what my baby would look like now at *gulp* 12yrs of age & just knowing that I never really met my baby. It breaks me at times.

But at the end of the day I know I made the best decision I could at that time for me & for my baby because I was nowhere near ready enough to carry a baby full term let alone become a mum.

I dint think I could do it again but if under certain circumstances I couldn't say definitely what path I would choose.


Like many of the other poster's behind me :hugs:

Yes, I had an Abortion, and YES I regret it. I was 14 and beyond useless as a human being, If I had continued with the pregnancy, I would have made myself keep the baby, and man, What a sorry state of affairs it would have been. I just WISH I had known, that decision would change me for the rest of my life, make it even harder to look in the mirror.. To this day, the only way I can justify my "anti abortion" mentality has nothing to do with "right to life" I simply think it's a decision that is to hard to live with, to hard to recover from, WAY to hard to forgive yourself for (Just for me, I know some women who truly ARE able to live with their choices, and I am grateful for that, I would not wish this lack of peace to anyone).

Then, Infertility, Man, its SOOOOOOOOO hard not to equate that to "punishment" for the abortion, even though I intellectually understand it's not the case..

Off to hug my Beautiful daughter, Pray a bit, and have a damn good cry. :hugs: to anyone struggling today.


I have, and although I had twinges of regret over the years, when I had my DD I realised that it was definitely the right decision at the time - I couldn't have given a child the life it deserved at that time, and that is all there was to it.

:hugs:to everyone

Big hugs to each and everyone one of you :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[~Temet Nosce~]

Haven't had one, but would consider it. Have had the morning after pill before and don't regret it.

[Veritas]

No I haven't and I think there would have to be some pretty extreme life and death circumstances for me to even consider it....

Above all for me there is no way I could cope mentally with a termination.....

:hugs::hugs: to all you ladies that have shared....

[jess_live_die]

No and I wouldn't consider it

[SomewhereOverTheRainbow]

No, I have never had one, and would never consider it.

I try to be understanding and non judgemental of other women's decisions though, but personally I am very strongly Pro Life.

Its not up to me to judge another. If they do wrong, then that is between them, and whatever god they believe in, or their partner, etc. Not between them and myself. Not my place to be judge and jury!

I agree, this is how I feel too. I also believe that bubs are often sent to us for a reason, and that we can cope with a lot more than we believe at the time. :yes:




Like many of the other poster's behind me

Yes, I had an Abortion, and YES I regret it. I was 14 and beyond useless as a human being, If I had continued with the pregnancy, I would have made myself keep the baby, and man, What a sorry state of affairs it would have been. I just WISH I had known, that decision would change me for the rest of my life, make it even harder to look in the mirror.. To this day, the only way I can justify my "anti abortion" mentality has nothing to do with "right to life" I simply think it's a decision that is to hard to live with, to hard to recover from, WAY to hard to forgive yourself for (Just for me, I know some women who truly ARE able to live with their choices, and I am grateful for that, I would not wish this lack of peace to anyone).

Then, Infertility, Man, its SOOOOOOOOO hard not to equate that to "punishment" for the abortion, even though I intellectually understand it's not the case..

Off to hug my Beautiful daughter, Pray a bit, and have a damn good cry. to anyone struggling today.

Ahem, big :hugs: to you honey. I think you are very brave and honest. :hugs::hugs:

[peanutbutter&jelly]

:no: No I haven't had one, and I wouldn't consider it. I have used the morning after pill before, with my ex when we had a condom break (gotta love that :rolleyes:) and don't regret that in any way. We have nothing in common parenting style-wise, our child would have been a disaster for both of us at that stage (I was 16, mature for my age, but we were just so wrong together... not that you could have told me that!).

[Zada]

nope and I never would. I have used the MAP tho

[LilMrsC]

I have never had one and wouldn't consider having one. However, I completely understand and respect every womans choice.

[2girls&1angelboy]

Thanx mochamumma for the hugs.
it was the most stupid decission i made i have always wanted to be a mum and even a young mum so after i had the termination to please them, i felt so bad and stil do everyday.
it made me want to fall pregnant again and 6 months later i did... 18 weeks into the pregnancy i told my DP i was pregnant i wanted to get as far along as i could b4 telling any1 so no-1 could get me to terminate. he was upset 4 1 day then couldnt wait for our lil girl to arrive, no we have two lil girls and he is a stay at home dad.

:hugs: to all the women out there.
u r brave in whatever decision that u have chosen.

[delirium]

I have never had a termination nor will I ever have one. The stories here of regret further cement that belief.

:hugs: to those women still struggling with their decision.

[Livvey]

I've never been faced with the decision, and hope never to be. Under certain circumstances i would, if there was a major health risk to the baby or myself, or if i was sexually assaulted then i would consider terminating. Not a decision to be taken lightly.

[NewBeginnings]

:no: I would never have one.

For a split second in DS2's pregnancy I did think about it.... and it scared the absolute hell out of me that I did even think about it... so it has further cemented the fact that I could never have one! :no:

[Mrs J]

I Have never had one but we did think about it this pregnancy, but we chose to keep the baby mostly because i could never go through with it, i just know i couldnt live with it. But every woman has a choice and that decision is there's, Only they know whats right for them.

[Jensha]

No I havn't had one and I wouldn't have one.

[A Party of Five]

You are more than welcome sweetie :hugs:


Thanx mochamumma for the hugs.

it was the most stupid decission i made i have always wanted to be a mum and even a young mum so after i had the termination to please them, i felt so bad and stil do everyday.
it made me want to fall pregnant again and 6 months later i did... 18 weeks into the pregnancy i told my DP i was pregnant i wanted to get as far along as i could b4 telling any1 so no-1 could get me to terminate. he was upset 4 1 day then couldnt wait for our lil girl to arrive, no we have two lil girls and he is a stay at home dad.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us all :hugs:

[Mathermy]

No, I haven't. I'm not sure that I ever would, because when faced with a pregnancy at the worst possible time in my life I chose to have DD.

I do however support a woman's right to choose, however uncomfortable the idea makes me feel, or how unpopular my position may be. The idea of being forced to carry a child against my will makes me feel dreadfully frightened and ill.

I have used the M.A.P once.

[naebie]

Yes I have had one, and as for regretting my decision- Yes and No.
I know that I'm in a much better place to care for a child now compared to 5 years ago- I find it hard enough being a parent now that I'm more mature, there's no way I would have been able to at 17. So in that regards, no I don't regret my decision.
But- As a direct result of the abortion I now have an 'incompetent cervix' which caused me to have a late m/c in '06, and this means all of my future pregnancies are 'high risk' and I have to have surgery and probably bed rest for each.

[LolliLips]

Yes and i don't regret it...

Thats wat i answered... but i've read 6 pages of responses and i think perhaps i do regret it a little.

I found out i was preg in May 08, my youngest was only 5 months and my oldest 2.5yrs. We spent a whole week discussing it, i laughed i cried i worried i just didn't know wat i wanted to do. The one thing i was sure of tho was that me and my partner were separated and living in different states and i was already looking after 8acres of land 6 pets, 2 kids and in the process of selling a house and finding another interstate... It just didn't seem like the right thing to do at the time.

So anyway, i think i do regret it a little, considering it was on my mind often and i would from time to time think to myself "i'd be blah blah months along now" and in Feb when the due date was it was certainly on my mind. In fact it was less than a week ago i was talking about the fact i would have had a 2 month old.

I made the right decision, and i don't so much regret the decision as much as i regret that i wasn't better equipt to have had the bubs... or that i didn't leave contraception up to my partner - now have Implanon, don't ever want to make that choice again.

[Stack]

No, I haven't had one, and I wouldn't consider it unless I was putting my life at risk by carrying it.

My DH and I discussed what we'd do if we got pregnant before we were ready and since he is adopted we always said we'd adopt out. His parents waited 14 years to be able to adopt him because it is rare in Australia for a baby to be put up for adoption.

[little_froglette]

yes my best friend had one and doesn't regret it, people may think this is heartless and they are entitiled to their own opinion but IMO she just couldn't have continue with it, she had her drink spiked and was raped , has been charged but it resulted in a pregnancy but how awful for a child to been seen as a rape baby or to be not 'loved' properly by it's mother because every time she looked at him/her it brought up these feelings, i understand poeple are different with their strengths but at 17- when this happened i don't blame her.

[ladybugblue84]

No I never have had one & whilst I might consider it I know in my heart I would never go through with it :no:.

I am pro-choice, I could just never do it myself.

[little_froglette]

i also feel it's and individual decision and i think education is needed on this topic espcially fopr young women- between 13-24 is the highest abortion rate in Australia but i believe each woman has the right to choose and i can't stand doctors that push more to either side.

[sweetseven]

I put No, and I wouldn't consider it, but absolutes are extreme, because if the pregnancy posed a grave risk to my health, then I would consider it.

And just because someone regrets having one, doesnt mean they wouldnt again (under the same circumstances).

The theoretical example I give is if I were pregnant and diagnosed with a form of cancer that had good expected outcomes when treated, then I would consider an abortion so that I might undergo treatment. However, I would likely always regret it even though I would still believe it was necessary.

Edit: note, whilst it would require extreme medical necessity for me to consider it for myslef, I believe that every woman should be able to make the choice for herself. It is a horrible choice to feel the necessity to consider.

[cuddlepot]

I said no and would consider it. Each to their own. You know what's best for you and your baby at the time. No one can make that decision for you. It is not something I would want to go through and imagine that the women who make the decision to terminate do not make that decision lightly.

[BigRedV]

Yep, no regrets at all!!! It was for medical reasons.

[tomtom]

Yes and I don't regret it.

I had 2 terminations, one at 16 and one at 22, with a 5 month old. I wasn't in a position to have a child or another child at these stages, and i haven't looked back.

If I were to get pregnant again after this one, as this one will be our last, I would not consider termination as we are in a position, although it wouldn't be ideal, to cope, mentally, physically or financially with another child.

[tomtom]

Yes and I don't regret it.

I had 2 terminations, one at 16 and one at 22, with a 5 month old. I wasn't in a position to have a child or another child at these stages, and i haven't looked back.

If I were to get pregnant again after this one, as this one will be our last, I would not consider termination as we are in a position, although it wouldn't be ideal, to cope, mentally, physically, or financially with another child.

[boysrgr8]

Never had one but would consider it under certain conditions :)
:iagree:would have to be a very certain condition for me to have one.

[boysrgr8]

Yes.

I wouln't really call it abortion but it was a "medical termination." It was in Feb this year, I was expecting twins and discovered severe abnormalities at 18 week u/s. DF and I chose to terminate, I was 19 weeks. It was the worst thing I ever had to do and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy :no: but it was the best decision for us at the time. I don't regret doing it but have felt immense guilt since February wondering if I had killed my "normal" babies. But last week I had a meeting with genetics at the hospital who looked at my baby girls after I delivered them and confirmed u/s results. I cried from relief and sadness :(.

I think about my girls everyday and know they will not have to grow up in this cruel world.

RIP my beautiful angels :angel::angel:

:hugs::hugs:

[BekBek]

Yes i have had one an yes i do regret it, it was the worst mistake i have ever made it haunts me everyday

[Pulp Fiction]

No I haven't had one but I am pro-choice. And I have had the morning-after pill a couple of times. Last time I got the morning-after pill the pharmacist slipped a Jesus pamphlet into the bag with it. WTF is with that?

[Mumma88]

No and I wouldn't consider it.

[Opinionated]

No I haven't and I don't think I ever would. It is hard to say what I would do under extreme circumstances though.

[pinkandblue]

Yes I have had one and I dont regret it but I do think what if?

My baby was missing a chromosome and was told I would miscarry later on or she would die shortly after birth.

I did the right thing for me at the time.

[sooz77]

I had one 3 years ago. DH and I had just arrived here after travelling for 6 months, I still hadn't found a job, I had no money, we were living with his parents and at the time had no money to move out and my own family were 10,000 miles away. I didn't know what to do or how we would cope financially.
In hindsight I feel we rushed into it without going over our options and no one at the clinic we went to offered us any kind of counselling or anything, which I think we desperately needed. Knowing my in-laws like I do now I know they and my parents would have supported us 100% and helped us out as much as they could if we had continued with the pregnancy.
I became deeply depressed after and I'm still on anti-depressants as a result.

That said, I still fully support the right of every woman to choose whether or not she wants to continue her pregnancy but only after some counsellnig to make sure it's something she won't regret for the rest of her life like I do.

[BigRedV]

:hugs::hugs:

Thanks, it's nice to be supported :yes:

[mumma2bee]

Yes i have had 2 terminations.


The first at 15, probably a good idea although i had the total support of family, friends and the babys father. I was selfish in my decision but i do think it was a good one as i would now at almost 27 have an 11 or 12 year old and thats crazy to me. Im sure it has affected me in ways ill never understand.:angel:


The second was when i was 21, my boyfriend was indian and muslim and basically said that if i didnt get rid of the baby he would be killed and so would the baby if his family ever found out, we were together 2 years and his family never knew i existed. One again i had the support of everyone and my stepdad was heartbroken that i was doing it again, he and my mum wanted me to have the baby and they were willing to help me. looking back now i fully regret that because i wish i would have had the baby and then someone killed that selfish a hole.:hair:


On a positive note, im sure if i would have had kids my husband would have never been with me and we wouldnt be looking through these forums at all the wonderful posts and the ladies giving each other some fantastic support.:hugs:


We are trying to concieve this week, our first attempt, married 2 years together for 5 so we are very excited about it and sooooo ready finally.:babydust2:


I do have a question though, as after these terminations i have been very paranoid and worried that i have done something wrong to my body and maybe cant fall pregnant. :hissy:


Wondering if anyone else has had abortions and then gone on to have no complications etc. Im also overweight genetically so there is another factor but am compleatly healthy and fitter than my "skinny" friends.


Hope to find out we are expecting in the coming weeks x :bfp:

[MummaBear03]

We are trying to concieve this week, our first attempt, married 2 years together for 5 so we are very excited about it and sooooo ready finally.:babydust2:


Good luck with your TTC attempt :babydust2:

I don't know much about abortions, the only person I know personally who has had trouble conceiving had 5 terminations in 3 years prior to trying to for a baby but it's hard to know if it was the terminations that made it that way or if her body is only able to carry to a certain time. She's never gone past 18 weeks, although the terminations were done around 8/9 weeks each time.

[LoveULilly]

Me and my dp are expecting our first baby in 7wks and when we first found out we were pregnant we did consider it as an option but we obviously decided that an abortion wasn't what we both truly wanted

[angel_cakesau]

i havent had one but i have booked in for one my son was born in april last yr his sister was 21 months old a month later i found out i was pregnant and i booked an abortion after lots and lots of tears and talking with dh i really didnt think i could cope so i booked the abortion then i just couldnt go thru with it. it was bookde for 9 weeks i went for my 12 week scan to find out my baby had died at 9 weeks and even tho i didnt go thru with it i still feel guilty kind of as if i wish the baby away and that it was all my fault i found that miscarriage the hardest to deal with and i am still even in tears ust typing this :( rip my angel babies

[naiwen]

No - but if I am totally honest I think I would have if my rape had resulted in a pregnancy, I am very thankfull I didn't have to make that choice.

[jacquilove]

i said "no wouldn't consider it" but i really only meant right now in my current circumstances - happily married. i didn't mean if the event of a medical termination or rape.

in the past i certainly would have considered it - and i fully support an individual's right to choose.

however - i have also been very careful in the last 14 years of being sexually active to avoid getting pregnant by accident. i must admit my current pregnancy was an "accident" but i only went off the pill (and onto non-hormonal contraceptive methods) when DH and i had decided not to get pregnant, but that if we did we would be ok with that and keep it.

[Laurens 1st]

Yes and I regret it. I dont mind sharing my story.
When I was 20, I made the worst decision of my life without thinking about what was actually going on or how Id feel afterwoulds. When the doctor said positive, I didnt think twice and opted for a 'termination'. A week later, without any counselling I went through with it. I remember thinking only when I was being anesthetised that I wanted to stop it! Too late.
I was 8 weeks.
I dont know how any doctors or even the staff at the abortion clinic let me go through with it a week after I found out I was pregnant? A week! No one offered any counselling beforehand or afterwoulds. I just felt like they took something from me and left me to deal with all the guilt and the shame, as well as grieving for my baby.
I just wish I had of thought about it some more or someone could of said 'just wait and think!'.

I have never had a proper 'goodbye' and perhaps its a good idea right now even though its been 4 years.

[pumpernickel25]

Yes and I don't regret it.

I was 21 at the time I found out I was pregnant, and my boyfriend and I had split up. I'd moved back in with mum and I found out while living there. We decided to give it another shot after we found out I was pregnant ... but based on our relationship at the time and our financial state ... we decided a termination was the best option. It was hard because I'd always wanted to be a mum for as long as I could remember, but didn't want to bring a child into this world with the complete absence of stability.
I had an ultrasound - the decision had been made, but I was still attached even so early into the pregnancy - and I heard the baby's heartbeat. OMG. My BF wasn't there with me, which is probably a good thing in hindsight (he was anti-me getting the U/S anyway). Walking into the clinic to have the termination the next day was very hard and I cried and cried and cried... the doctor/nurses just looked at me funny and just put me and my BF into a side room with a box of tissues. I was still crying as they put the anaesthetic in and when I woke up I had an injection in my leg (to help with uterus contractions or something) - which now I have permanent nerve damage from! :( So all in all it wasn't a good experience but I know I made the right decision at the time. For a few years afterwards I was anti-having a baby (which was unheard of for me before then!) until I was financially ready and in a stable r/ship.
As the due date approached (26/6/06 - fairly ominous in my mind anyway) I was upset. Two of my cousins had their babies on the 19/6 and 20/6 that year. I see them running around now and sometimes a thought will cross my mind that I could have a 3 year old running around too... but I quickly try to think of something else. I do think of her (I had a feeling it was a girl, even though she was only 7 weeks old) on the same date every year, but I know in my heart that she forgives me ... I made the right decision At The Time and that was the most important thing.
I think if I got pregnant again I would keep the baby as at least I own a house now and feel more stable/know where I want to go in life.
One good thing was my GP and my family were very supportive of whatever decision I made.

Sorry for the long post!

[tadpoles]

Yes and I regret it. At the time I was 18 and it happened due to a condom breaking and I had the Morning After Pill but still ended up falling pregnant. My whole life I had always said that I would never have one and when DP and I discovered that I was PG we were both so scared and I was convinced to have an abortion by everyone :( No one I talked to about it actually said to me that I didn't have to have one.. even the doctor didn't discuss options he just said that i'm young, in uni and then gave me a referral.:no: I felt as if I couldn't talk to anyone about it and even when I went to have it done I knew I didn't want to.
I am now pregnant again as a result of the pill failing (I found out this time whilst already 3 mnths:rolleyes:) and said right from the start that I would not consider having an abortion. It affected me so badly last time and I have never really talked to anyone about it. Whilst DP was again scared about how we would manage I told him that I would do it without him if I had to and he decided to stay with me and can't wait to meet his baby in less than a month.

I can't wait to meet my little boy and I will never forget my baby that I never got to meet.:angel:

[CookiesRYum]

Yes, I had an abortion about 8 years ago and since having a m.c a few weeks ago it has certainly brought it all back for me and made me relook at things.

I don't regret it but it was a struggle for me to admit it on here because so many women are fighting so hard to have babies - and I may be one of them??

I think about who I was then and who I am and it like two completely ppl in many ways. It's hard to say what I would do if I have my time over - if I was who I am now then I would say 'keep it' but if I was who I was then i say 'I made the right decision'. But if someone turned back time I would be who I was then - and I say "I made the right decision" - does that make sense?

[Annabella]

No I haven't had one and no, I wouldn't consider it, especially since having my kids. When I got pregnant there were a million reasons to terminate but I didn't, and I am so grateful now. I can't imagine my life without my little princesses (who were both unplanned).

I consider myself pro-life, but at the same time I have supported so many friends through terminations. I don't believe it is my place to judge anyone.

My heart truly goes out to all the ladies that are still coming to terms with decisions they have made in the past. Big big hugs to you all :hugs: :hugs:

[~BEXTER~]

When I was 15 I fell pregnant I know it was young but still to this day I know I would have coped.

The Dad was 19 and we has been dating for 3 years, First time I had sex I don't think I was ready but didn't have it in me to say no.

2.5 months later I found out I was pregnant I confided in my sister who ran and told my Mum so I was forced to have the abortion or my Mum was going to have my partner charged with rape.

I couldn't talk to anyone about it, every time I tried talking to my Mum she would say no we are not talking about this and walk away, I wish I had somewhere I could run and hide.

I would have been around 12 weeks when I had the abortion, something I regretted and still do 8 years later. I tried to kill myself after it and turned to drugs so I didn't have to think about it.

Then I fell pregnant again at 18 the condom broke and because of the past, even though I knew I wasn't ready to be a Mum I couldn't have another abortion. I gave up all drugs and now I have a beautiful little girl.

I still regret the first one but it is easier to do with now.

[RoarsomeMum]

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: to all struggling, and coping with their decisions.. :hugs: Thank you for having the strength to share your stories.. It helps more than you know. xxx

[MissWinter]

I don't think it is in anybodies interest to judge anyone else on their decisions, and so I would never ever judge anyone, but I haven't and don't think I could go through with an abortion myself.

That was very much the result that DP wanted for this surprise pregnancy, and I had the appt booked, but I think I knew the whole time that I couldn't do it.

I never wanted to force DP into it, I told him if he so chose, he could leave, no strings, and leave me to it, but he stayed with me and is now supporting me entirely as I'm not working.

I did consider the termination seriously, and it was the absolute honest to God hardest week of my entire life.

I do not think that people who decide on termination are taking the ''easy way out'' at all. My 15 y/o brothers 17 y/o gf is currently going through the process of waiting for her abortion...

[MermaidSister]

I haven't had one but have considered it. However i think i would find it very hard, when i look at my children and imagine if they weren't here, what a waste it would have been of these potential lives if i'd made a different decision...

This issue divides people. I found out months down the track that a very close friend had had an abortion, which our other close mates already knew about. She hadn't wanted to tell me she was pregnant because i'd recently been in the same position and chosen to keep the baby- she thought i would try and talk her out of aborting, or be "offended" in some way by her decision.

I was so upset that a close friend would assume that because i chose to continue an unplanned pregnancy for myself, that i would try to impose the same decision on her. I'd have supported her in whatever choice she made. It's sad that a few fanatical anti-abortion groups make women feel that it's something you are either for or against- i think i can speak for most of us when i say that the way i view abortion in relation to myself personally and the way i see it as an option overall are two separate things. If that makes sense.

[84zsazsa]

Yes I have had one & dont regret it at all.

[Readyfor4]

Yes, it was the right thing for me to do at the time.

But he came back to me and bought a little friend, so we are all happy again :)

:)Thats exactly how I see it too (I had twins also)

I had one, and regret it. Actually I dont but I do. It was the best thing for us at the time (as we had just met and were young) but we grew from it and we have now had our other babies!

But I also regret it because it was our son/daughter.

[1+1=5]

no, i haven't had one but it was something that crossed my mind when i was pregnant at 19 with DS1. not having an abortion was the best decision I have ever made and I'm so so thankful for that. i can't imagine life without this special child of mine.

no, i wouldn't consider having one in future.

[kylza]

I know its probably not the type of abortion you are talking about - but yes I have had an abortion due to a terminal illness our baby was suffering from and would never have survived.
I chose to abort for medical reasons and ironically a girl I know on the same day was aborting because of unplanned pregnancy.
Do I hold this against her?

:no: No way if I had an unplanned pregnancy and wasn't in the situation to care for a child I would choose the same path.

:hugs: Hugs to everyone who has had to deal with this situation one way or another :hugs:

[BayleysMum]

I have had one and I regret it with all my heart. I was pressured by other people. I had a 2 year old and a 2 month old when I fell pregnant and everyone told me that I wouldnt be able to cope. I had the abortion and didnt cope anyway. I ended up getting depression and anxiety which resulted in a mental breakdown just after the babies due date! I was put on anti-depressants. I am pregnant again and although I wont be able to replace the precious baby that I lost, I am just so glad that I got another chance. I am going to hold onto this baby and I just hope that I am not punished for what I did. I have many friends who have had abortions and I dont judge them at all, however for me it was a terrible decision and I hated myself and everyone who helped me come to my decision. I really wanted to keep the baby and had already seen it as a human that was going to join our family so it was incredibly difficult. I still have all my psotive pregnancy tests and hope everyday that my baby is in a better place. :crying:

[starposs12]

No and I would not consider it, but do not judge those that have. My sister has had two abortions and they were the best decisions for her at the time. She now has two beautiful children

[boogernsqueak]

I am going to hold onto this baby and I just hope that I am not punished for what I did.


I felt EXACTLY the same way with both of my pregnancies.

I have had 2 pregnancy terminations.
1 was forced on me, I regret allowing myself to be pressured so badly that I gave up my baby.
The other was 100% the right thing to do for me at that time.

It is such an emotional topic. everyone has thie own opinions of it, but until you are actually placed in that particular situation, with those exact pressures or things to consider, you can't really know what it is like.

I still cry about both of them, but I'm not allowed to be sad about it out in the open, because it's such a taboo topic.

:(

[IndigoJ]

I was almost pressured into one. My dp flipped when he found out i was pregnant, i was 20 and we had been together for 6mths. He even rang up to find appt times. I went for a drive and rang my mum she made me think of how i would feel after i had one. I looked into the future and couldnt imagine my life without my baby. I knew i would regret it and that i wouldnt be able to go through with it. I didnt have the abortion and i have a 20mth old son, and i dont regret it.

[Pax]

having had one and regretting it.. i find it hard to imagine not regretting it.

i wish i was still in the category

of never and could never consider it.. cause that was where i was before i did.:crying:

[TacoFest]

I haven't had one but serioulsy considered it this past week. My dd is not even 7 months old, I'm only 20 and I just don't feel ready for another baby. I sat down with my partner and my mum and went over pros and cons and decided to keep this baby.

[Mummyoftwo86]

No I have not had one. Each to their own on this topic and I feel for the women that have regretted your decision. Knowing that you were only doing what was best for you yet feeling guilty would be awful. You are all strong and there is no need for punishment. I believe that babies will come when they decide to. It's probably a bit weird and freaky (sorry :S) to believe that... but yeah lol. I just think the little souls choose us and hey if your not ready then they are fine with that too. They'll just come bak when your ready xx

[BitterSweet]

No I haven't had one, No I wouldn't have one, No I don't agree with it.

[mrse]

I dont mind answering....yes I had an abortion when I was 18. I was in an abusive relationship and my ex was a gambler and an alcoholic....to bring up a child in those circumstances would have been horrible and to be linked to him for life would not have been good. I feared for my life so I know if I had the child I would have been fearing our lives.

Now I would not even considerate it.

[CocktailBubba]

I personally think if you are old enough to be having sex you are old enough to take responsibility if the female falls pregnant. I don't believe in abortion for convinience but I have friends who have had them and it doesn't bother me as I don't have to live with the what ifs.

[CocktailBubba]

Just to add to my last post as it's too long to quote on the phone... There are ofcourse circumstances that are out of our hands and in those circumstances I would have an abortion.

[Mummy2Kobi&Hailee]

I said no but would consider it.

i choose that 1 coz if it was for medical reasons or a result of rape i would but not for any other reason.

[SassyMummy]

Just wanted to remind people that this in the termination section that it for positive support... not really "I think it's wrong because of blah blah blah," style posts...

[misskittyfantastico]

I haven't had a termination, I struggle to imagine an instance where I WOULD have one. But that's about me and my body. I'm pro choice all the way.

[Opinionated]

Thankfully no. I never fell pregnant at a time when I didn't plan to. There is a couple of times that I would have terminated a pregnancy if one had of eventuated.

[Mum2Mimi]

i voted no and i would consider it under certain circumstances
Thoose are:
If it was life threatening for me to carry the feotus
There were abnormalities present
Or
It was from a rape

I could not do it simpley because i failed to practice safe sex

Im very much pro choice and dont judge thoose who have had to go thru with one :(

I remember as a teen my mum convinced my older sister to have one, correction 'forced' her to and she went thru hell and was a mess! :(

All of thoose who have shared their storey you are amazingley strong woman,hugs,xx

[AM]

No, thankfully, never had to go down that road, and I would hope never to do so.

However, I'm totally pro-choice, even though the thought of it breaks my heart. Sometimes it's the best choice...

[Bellini]

No. And I can't imagine ever having one.

I'm pro-choice though.

[Myztiks#1Fan]

Sometimes it's the best choice...

:iagree:. to answer the question, no i have never had an abortion

[Jesska]

No and I wouldn't consider it

[silentrockfaery]

Yes. My mother forced it on me.

I regret it, and consider it more like a miscarriage. It was taken away from me.

[Hooves]

Yes. My mother forced it on me.

I regret it, and consider it more like a miscarriage. It was taken away from me.

I am sad to hear that. :(:hugs::hugs:


I have not had an abortion, but I would consider it.

I am a bit emotional about babies though. SO I would need a very good reason, to do so.

[lil miss]

I voted a while ago, and at the time, I didnt regret it. I had only been with my boyfriend a few eeks when we found out, and we both already ahd young babies from previous relationships and i was suffering pnd. I umm'd and arh'd about it, but eventualy i made my choice to have the termination. Before that, I was dead against it as an option for me.

For so long, it didnt worry me, I didnt think about it and knew I had amde the right choice. Since then, I have split with that baby's father and rekindled my relationship with my first daughter's father. We are now expecting our 2nd daughter in july and since finding out i am pregnant again, I am finding quite hard to deal with what i did. I feel overwhelmed with guilt. I cant talk to my partner about it as he hates my ex with a passion and its knownt hat should the 2 ever meet, all hell would break loose. Again, the reason i cant talk to my ex about my feelings.

I know deep down, i made the right choice given the situation, but looking at ultrasounds and feeling our baby move inside me makes me feel so guilty of what i did to one of my other children.

[Hooves]

I voted a while ago, and at the time, I didnt regret it. I had only been with my boyfriend a few eeks when we found out, and we both already ahd young babies from previous relationships and i was suffering pnd. I umm'd and arh'd about it, but eventualy i made my choice to have the termination. Before that, I was dead against it as an option for me.

For so long, it didnt worry me, I didnt think about it and knew I had amde the right choice. Since then, I have split with that baby's father and rekindled my relationship with my first daughter's father. We are now expecting our 2nd daughter in july and since finding out i am pregnant again, I am finding quite hard to deal with what i did. I feel overwhelmed with guilt. I cant talk to my partner about it as he hates my ex with a passion and its knownt hat should the 2 ever meet, all hell would break loose. Again, the reason i cant talk to my ex about my feelings.

I know deep down, i made the right choice given the situation, but looking at ultrasounds and feeling our baby move inside me makes me feel so guilty of what i did to one of my other children.


:hugs::hugs: I am so sad to read how you have been feeling.

Every thing in our life happens for a reason. We make the choices we make for a reason, and we learn from them. Good or bad.

I am so sorry you have been beating yourself up over this.:( Perhaps it would be a good idea to go and have a chat to someone, about how you are feelings. IT must be hard, not to be able to talk to the man you love about how you feel.:(

[boogernsqueak]

I have had 2. Both were the coldest, darkest moments of my life that will haunt me forever.

The 1st was when I was 20. His family bullied me into it. Literally had me backed into a corner telling me I had better go through with it or else.
I did and I have not had a day where I haven't regretted doing it.
I was young and and confused and they took advantage of that.

2nd was more recently, I was "seeing" someone and fell pregnant the first time we were together. i was on the pill, he used a condom but it broke and I was so paranoid I even took the morning after pill. Still pregnant.
Then I found out some very disturbing things about this guy and I just couldn't bring myself to follow through with the pregnancy. I didn't feel it would have been fair to bring a baby into that sort of situation.

I do regret both in some way, but I wouldn't have both my babies now if I had have chosen a different path.
that's basically what I cling to, to make what I did ok to me.

The hardest part is not being allowed to grieve for my babies out in the open. yes, I did that to them, but I believe they are far better off out in the universe than in those situations.
I'm not allowed to talk about them because there is always someone who has had a m/c, or had to abort for medical reasons.
My first ex, his step mother actually told me I had to keep my mouth shut about what i had done because my ex's Aunty had just had a d&c for medical reasons and mine was nothing so I shouldn't upset her by talking about it to anyone.


While I was pregnant with Squeak, I was so convinced that I was somehow going to be punished for what I had done.
I felt like I didn't deserve to be having a healthy baby and he would be taken from e once I had started to love him.
Pretty messed up but I carry alot of guilt for what has happened.

[CazHazKidz]

No I haven't, and no I wouldn't, unless there were EXTREMELY SEVERE medical complications. I couldn't live with the guilt :no:

So sorry for all of you who have made this decision and regret it :hugs: Particularly those who were pressured into it by so called family and friends :(

[Am8ler]

i Have and regret it EVRYDAY. it hurts knowing what i did and i feel sick when i think about it.

it was between my 2 kids. me and my partner at the time were fighting all the time and split up then i found out i was pregz. my ds was only 5 months old. dp made me do it even tho ill never forgive him because of it. we are now married with 2 kids.
i still think about that day everyday. his parents took me. his mum even rang him b4 i went in to say i wasnt going to do it and he explained that it wasnt a good idea he had just lost his job and we just split up..

ill never get over it. i feel lost.

[Hooves]

:crying::crying:

Some of you girls are really breaking my heart.:(

I am so sorry, that any of you have been pressured into doing this.

And I am so sorry, that you were NOT able to have someone stand up, and be strong enough for you, when you were in a pretty dark place.

:hugs::hugs: To you all, who need them.

[Melbs77]

I always felt like I was lucky to be the only female within my group of family or friends to have never had a termination as I'd seen how hard it was to go through. I'd made it to 32 and never been pregnant and started to think that perhaps I was infertile as I hadn't always been careful in my life. That was until I fell pregnant in December to a guy I'd only beein seeing for 2 months. I was pretty sure about him, well as sure as you can be at 2 months, and we were excited and decided we would keep the baby. I shared the news with my sister, who is extremely important to me, and she tried to be happy and support me as best she could but I knew she thought I was making a mistake. Then on New Year's Day, I woke up and realised that I was making a huge mistake and I couldn't go through with it. After a couple of days I called a clinic and booked myself in. The night before the procedure I was home alone and I cried and cried and cried. I wanted a baby more than anything but I knew the circumstances were all wrong. I even ended up calling my mum, who had no knowledge of anything at that point, and cried on the phone to her. I even cried when they walked me into the theatre and the nurse had to hold my hand and wipe my tears as the anaesthetic took hold.

I did feel a sense of relief afterwards and haven't allowed myself to think about it too much. That was until I found out in Feb that I am pregnant again. I don't know how it happened but I fell pregnant 2 weeks after the procedure (I'm still with the same guy). Once again I've gone through the same cycle. I was extremely excited at first and now I'm questioning whether I really love this guy and think I want out of the relationship. I just don't think I could face another termination but I'm seriously doubting my feelings for him. I can't stand him to touch me or come near me and I'm not sure if it's pregnancy hormones or what. All I know is I need to think about this whole thing again and I am so angry at myself for putting myself here AGAIN!!!!!!!!

[Hooves]

I couldn't read and not post, Mel.

:hugs::hugs:

I hope you find the answers you seek.

[EquineMum]

My heart goes out to each and every one of you who have been forced into making a decision that you were not ready for. :hugs:

My heart also goes out to those who made a conscious decision and regret it. Please know that there are no such things as wrong decisions - any decision that is made is the right one to make at the time. AT THE TIME. Not now, not later - but at that particular point in time. Don't berate yourself, don't tie yourself up in knots. Regrets are not healthy. You can't change the past - it makes you who you are today. Learn from what happened and use the experience to help yourself and others. Turn the negative into a positive :yes: I'm not saying be happy you had an abortion - not by a long shot - just that it's important not to let it overwhelm you.

And yes, I have had a termination. I don't regret it, I know it was the right thing to do at the time. Do I wonder about the little bubba that isn't? Yes. Did I feel a tinge of sorrow when I was PG with DS1 and the midwife said "so, is this your first?" and I said "oh yes! And we're very excited!!" and then she said "And what about pregnancy, is this your first pregnancy?" And I had to say "no, no it's not..." Yes, I did feel sad. Definitely. Regretful? Absolutely not.

Please be kind to yourselves and to your hearts....you can forgive....just don't forget :hugs:

[faroutbrusselsprout]

Unfortunately I guess I can say I have... I had a "medical termination".
She was a very loved, very very wanted baby but just incompatible with life
I regret the entire situation with every ounce of my being.

[Boobycino]

:hugs:oh wow melbs :hugs:

Maybe it is the pregnancy hormones making you not want him near you? I hope you can work out what you want. Maybe this is meant to be? :hugs:otherwise, goodluck with whatever you choose.

[jaydensmum]

Yes i had an abortion two months ago. It was the hardest decision of my life esp after losing my baby 3yrs ago. My DH and i were having major problems at the time, which now we are separated. Theres a part of me that regrets my decision, but im also glad due to the outcome of my marriage.

[MumTotzlj]

i had one when i was 15. i was raped, and very sick at the time. Drs told me that my body wouldnt be able to cope with having a baby at that time....i have to say i do not regret it.


i couldnt have one now, i'm married with two little ones, i was offered a abortion when i was pg with my second (medical reasons) i didnt even enterian the idea then. my second passed away when he was 12 days old, if i had the choice again i would say no.

[trishalishous]

I haven't and wouldn't under any circumstances.

[sheep]

I've had one and in no way regret it. The pregnancy was a result of an abusive relationship when I was often bullied into sex regardless as to what I said (no). I finally had the guts and support from one of his friends to break it off with him and I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks later. I was not in a good time in my life and VERY suicidal, having an abortion probably saved my life. I needed a lot of counselling and a very high dose of anti depressants.

However abortion is not something I take lightly and if I was to fall pregnant now (although I have my tubes clamped, it's still a possibility) I would not abort it, but would maybe chose adoption. Hopefully I won't have to make that decision though :)

[The Girls Only Club]

Yes I have and I don't regret it.
I was 18 and had a 2 year old and 1 year old and DH and I didn't think we could manage again.It was the right decision at the time.

It was again considered whe we fell pregnant last year(broken condom and failed MAP)We even made and cancelled 4 appointments

:hugs: to everyone who has regrets for they hard decision they had to(forced to)make

[ComeBackKid]

I have. I regret it.

I have written a lot about it on BH.

[~ElectricPink~]

I voted 'no and I wouldn't consider it'
I briefly considered it when I was pregnant with DS- I was 17, still living with parents, due to become a single mum as FOB didn't want involvement at the time, was seriously struggling with mental illness and could barely look after myself, let alone anyone else... with all of those circumstances at the time, it appeared that abortion may have been a 'better' option... but instead I decided to take responsibility for my actions, do my best to overcome all of the obstacles, and sort myself out to give the child that I created the life that he deserved- and I have. I am SO grateful that I chose to continue on with the pregnancy.

[Mrs Molly Coddle]

I have never had one but I would consider it. My body, my choice.

:hugs: to all those who have regrettably terminated :(

[victoria1]

I'm pro-choice. Women have abortions for all kinds of reasons. Who is any other single being to judge?

Women who have had abortions - you made a courageous decision at the time.

Anyone coming in here and saying "I don't believe in it" is basically making people feel bad if they've had one and feel guilty (even if you might not realise it when you write it!)

My body, my choice.

I'm six weeks prego now and I want it. But there's been lots of times in my life where I've freaked out that I was prego and made the choice in my mind that if I was I would get a termination.

It's nothing to be ashamed of, it's a fact of life (and life goes on - you're still breathing! :) ).

:hugs:

[bumMum]

Haven't had one and wouldn't have one as I believe that life begins at conception and I would feel a lot pf guilt however I am pro choice and believe everyone has the right to make the choice for their own body

[Guest1234]

Never had one, will never consider one.

[headoverfeet]

No I have not had one, I would consider it for sever abnormalities if I knew about them but as we are not planning on any testing for future pregnancies I can say I would never have one, and I would hope that nature would take it's course if needed :(

[Corryn]

I have to also admit that i have had 1. I regret it every day. I thikn about how different my life would have turned out. I was 21 I already had a 2yr DS, I was having problems with his dad, I just started up a new relationship with my DF now. We were still getting to no each other n we were only together for 6 weeks and i found out i was. It was never my choice HE wasn't ready to be commited to me at such and early stage. I can sit back and say we have now been together for nearly 6 yrs n we now have 3 beautiful children and another one on the way. I was a nervous wreck I went on Anit depression tablets as i NEVER thought i'd eva be in that situation but i was. My heart goes out to every one it isn't the most easy of things to decide. although there are situations that it's the only choice there is.

[RoarsomeMum]

:hugs::hugs:Widget I feel the same way.

It's NOT about making people feel guilty it's about accepting why *I* feel guilty and will for the rest of my life.

I wish people had the guts to talk about the way they felt afterward when I was a teen.

I wish the realities of what that decision can mean for some of us were acknowledged.

[MagicalLeopluradon]

No, I haven't had one and no I would not consider it. The thought of it makes me upset. Can definitely understand why people would have them though but it's not for me.

[Melbs77]

I had two at the beginning of the year, very close together and they haunt me every day. The abortions taught me a lot about myself and how I desperately needed approval from everyone around me. I wanted both babies very much but was met with disapproval from some key people in my life because I hadn't been with my partner very long. I was so lost and confused that the slightest inclination of what I 'should' do from anyone steered me in that direction. Knowing certain people weren't thrilled for me made me very anxious so I rushed out and ended both pregnancies with the thought that they would be happier with me once I did. Sounds pretty pathetic huh? But this is the person I was, so little self-esteem and no confidence in my own decisions. I fell into a massive depression after the 2nd termination and had to have counselling and the counsellor really helped me to understand why I did what I did and that it was time for me stand on my own two feet in my life. I am now pregnant again, by the grace of God he has seen my pain and forgiven me and blessed me with another pregnancy and NOTHING is going to take this one away from me.

[sadangel]

Yes, I aborted a much wanted baby because it had down's syndrome. I regret it and the guilt is terrible but my friends and family all made it clear that they would not support me to keep her and I felt to scared to go it alone. It is the hardest decision I have ever made. My heart goes out to anyone who has had a termination. It was never a situation I thought I would find myself in and I can only hope that in time my guilt and sadness will ease.

[singa06]

I have never had one. I would never consider one now, however if I fell pregnant at a lot older age (say 45+), I probably would.

[Sheer Bliss]

Nope, and in my current circumstances, I doubt I would consider it (but never say never IMO). I am in a happy marriage, with 4 beautiful children and couldn't justify destroying a sibling. Which is part of the reason I couldn't DTD until DH had his little operation, the thought of another baby (or twins again :eek:) was terrifying.

When I was younger, and not ready - I wouldn't have hesitated (I believe) to have one then. I am pro-choice - it is a womans right to choose what to do with her body.

[Señor Chang]

I had an abortion and I don't regret it but doesn't mean that it was an "easy" decision to make.

I was at a time in my life where my partner and I just weren't ready to have children for a plethora of reasons.

Now that we have a 14 month old daughter and being her Mum is one of the greatest things in the world. We had her at a time when we were ready to, where we could be the best parents possible.

One of my favourite quotes is by Dr Elizabeth Newall, "Women have abortions because they care about motherhood. I don't think people realise that."

[KatiesMum]

Please be aware, this is in the Terminations section.

The rules for this section are


Terminations Have you been through a termination, or need to consider one for medical or personal reasons. Please find support and positive discussion in this section. This section is for POSITIVE support only. There will be zero tolerance for any other posts, which will be deleted. Ethics can be discussed in the Current Affairs section.

Please do NOT debate in this thread. It is for SUPPORT only.

thanks

[The Girls Only Club]

I have never regretted it.Will be 9 years in January.
I made the best choice for me and my family.What anyone else thinks doesn't matter to me.

[BigRedV]

I'm sorry, but my life and my daughter's life had to come first, especially when my twins were going to have zero quality of life, I chose to terminate. I don't feel guilty about it. That doesn't mean I didn't love them or that I don't think about them.

[The Girls Only Club]

I'm sorry, but my life and my daughter's life had to come first, especially when my twins were going to have zero quality of life, I chose to terminate. I don't feel guilty about it. That doesn't mean I didn't love them or that I don't think about them.

:hugs: :hugs:

[sammyplus3]

:hugs:to all the ladies who have terminated by choice or by force

i have had a termination was my 3rd pg had only been with my now dh for 2 months we had agreed to keep it and all that i got excited and started buying stuff then a 8 weeks i totally freaked and depression got the better of me started having crazy but i guess possible thoughts that he was going to leave me and i would be all alone with 3 kids that i wouldnt be able to cope with 3 kids dd1 was 3 dd2 was 1. i dont regret it as such but i do wonder what that baby could have been personality, sex, etc.
We now have a 3yrold together and are talking about another
i do feel some what ashamed although i know i did it for the right reasons before that i was DEAD against it i had my 1st baby at 18 and it didnt even enter my mind then

would i consider it again possibly there are alot of factors to consider. adoption is not an option for me i would find that way way harder to live with and would find it difficult to explain to friends family and the kids

[himherandhe]

I was completely against abortion until I fell pregnant 9 months after our third was born. We were struggling financially and didnt feel like I could spread myself even further between everyone. i regret having to do it and hate that I didnt prevent and had to have one but I know we made the right decision for everyone in our family and I couldnt be selfish and just think about my wants and not everyone elses needs. It is such a hard decision. :?

[BabelFish]

Yes, and now that I know what having children is like, I do regret the loss of those potential beings. However, now that I know what having children is like with the right person, no I don't regret it at all.

[J,K&L'sMum]

Yes, if I could see into my future back then and all of the guilt it's brought, then I'd have never of had it done (same partner).

[MrsBeee]

I never had but I would consider it. Not at this stage of my life, apart from medical reasons, as we do want more children, but at any point up until I had been with my partner for a couple of years, I definitely would have considered it, and probably gone through with it. I also can't rule out considering it for some unknown reason in the future...

[squishie]

i have...when i was 18 and pregnant to an abusive male. thankfully i was smart enough not to share the abuse with a helpless baby.

I am now married and have been with my wonderful partner for 8 years and wouldn't consider it now, unless for medical reasons.

[himherandhe]

I find it interesting that some ppl wouldnt consider abortion but have had the morning after pill.

I dont see the difference???? Other than timing

[share a book]

I find it interesting that some ppl wouldnt consider abortion but have had the morning after pill.

I dont see the difference???? Other than timing

Yeah well I can't speak for others but I took the MAP after a sexual assault then realised what I'd done like a week later, once the shock wore off, but it didn't work anyway. If I wasn't beaten to a pulp and only semi-conscious I would have thought about it and decided against it. Thank f*** it didn't work, I couldn't live with myself otherwise! I don't like the judgement there either.

[Tainted]

I think the difference is people take the morning after pill to ensure they do not conceive. People have abortions once they know they are already pregnant.

I have had the morning after pill, and considered an abortion briefly when I found out I was pregnant. I then found out how far along I was and it was (thankfully) no longer an option. After having my beautiful baby I could not consider it in the future unless the pregnancy put my life in danger or my child would have health issues that would severly impact on their quality of life. That said, I would never judge someone for a decision they made as I don't believe anyone should have power over a woman's body but the woman herself.

[backgroundnoise]

I had the morning after pill when I was 16 because the condom broke and we really weren't ready to have kids.
The only time I considered an abortion was last year when I was assulted but thankfully I didn't fall and I didn't have to think any more about it.
I definitely would never abort my baby with df unless medically necissary.

[Mrs J]

i took the morning after pill but it failed after the condom broke, i was booked in for a termination, but i pulled out the day before. So my answer would be no i haven't had one but yes i have considered it. This is my second reply to this post, i have another one on page 6 with another pregnancy where we thought about it to. Contraception and i don't seem to get along, it just doesnt work. DH is getting the snip this time so no more babies. It's a women's choice and i support all women in there decision either way.

[Two Sweetpeas]

I have and it's something I have come to terms with, with myself.

I struggled with it for a long time though.

[MissWinter]

I answered "No and wouldn't consider it", mainly because the truth is I had the appt booked when I found out I was pregnant with DD after being pressured by DP to abort, and I could NOT go through with it.

If it were special circumstances, I think I would consider it, but not knowing the emotions involved I think I still couldn't go through with it.

[kittypenrose]

i had an abortion and do not regret it in some way. it was to a co-worker, unexpected due to a broken condom. he had 2 kids and a wife that, at that point did not know about. he was a womanizer and a liar, and im glad i never had a child with him. i already had 2 kids from a previous relationship, and was a single mum at the time. now my new partner and i have been trying for 4 months with no success and feel guilt that my abortion may have something to do with it.

[headoverfeet]

The MAP prevents you from ovulating so it works prior to conception. Just fyi.

[headoverfeet]

No I have not had one, I would consider it for sever abnormalities if I knew about them but as we are not planning on any testing for future pregnancies I can say I would never have one, and I would hope that nature would take it's course if needed :(

Well I'm going to eat my own words because I have had one since this post. Unplanned pregnancy and we didn't want another baby so close to DD. I don't regret it at all.

[Hollywood]

The MAP prevents you from ovulating so it works prior to conception. Just fyi.

It's also supposed to make the uterus lining unsuitable for implantation. However, it didn't do either of those for me and I got DD as a result of it failing. I'm glad it didn't work now that she's here :D

[babynomad]

I had one at 16 or 17 cannot remember exactly my age. Without doubt it's the worst experience of my life. I didn't want to but my boyfriend at the time freaked out , my father refused to talk to me , my mother was cold and friends unsympathetic . I was so so sad when I woke up and the baby was gone. It affected my self esteem , I felt I wasn't allowed to grieve as it had been my doing. I still think of it daily and I now have three kids 20 years later. It's horrible . But I would never have my husband or these children if I had not of done it . But the first five years after saw me off the rails , depressed and failing , no one to talk to and not allowed to talk about it. It's not an easy choice at all :(

[VicPark]

No. When I was younger I supported choice up until 12 weeks. I can honestly say though I was immature then and didn't really understand what a fetus was like up to that point, or other key issues involved. Fortunately (probably because I was career driven) I was paranoid about falling pregnant, was extra careful with contraception and never had an unplanned pregnancy.

I now have a totally different outlook and am only pro choice in cases of severe medical issues.

My Good friend had an abortion several years back and still cries on my shoulder about it... It really affected her.

[scarymarygoldfish]

No I haven't, and I wouldn't consider it now but would have in my past.

[1CrazyMoose]

I don't mind answering. I haven't had one but if I got pregnant again, I would. I have had the morning after pill though.

This, I can't say for certain but I believe it's an option I would consider closely.

I had ds at just 19. I said I would NEVER have an abortion, had my dd at 21 and due for 3rd at 24. This was a much planned pregnancy but it's only now do I properly understand the reasons for abortion. I had very mixed emotions about this one as while we tried for 12 months I suddenly became overwhelmed with exhaustion and thought how the hell would we manage.

I have since grown past that and am excited but I definitely appreciate the difficult decision many face with abortion.

No judgement from me at all.

[headoverfeet]

The MAP prevents you from ovulating so it works prior to conception. Just fyi.


It's also supposed to make the uterus lining unsuitable for implantation. However, it didn't do either of those for me and I got DD as a result of it failing. I'm glad it didn't work now that she's here :D

Ok so the MAP (emergency contraception) works in 2 ways both before and after ovulation before ovulation it is designed to make the egg impenetrable and after it makes changes to the cervical mucus which is designed to stop sperm from reaching the egg. It doesn't work after fertilization has already occurred and wont prevent implantation.

Here's a cool little video https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=7Vozr9vHeMo

[Meg17]

Yes I had one 9 years ago and don't regret it at all it wasn't the right time in my family's life and I think I wouldn't have my gorgeous boys.

[Thentherewere3]

I had booked an abortion 2 years ago but decided I couldn't go through with it only to miscarry a couple of weeks later DP and I had only been together a month. Then had to have medically necessary D/C after second miscarriage. You do what is right for you at the time I guess.

[VanityFey]

I had one when I was seventeen, 8 weeks after I woke up with no memory of the night before (later realised my drink had been spiked).

I don't regret it, I was in no emotional or financial state to have a child but I do grieve for my baby.

But I hate when I've told someone and they've judged me, or judge others for it. Hardest decision I ever made.

Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

[headoverfeet]

I had one when I was seventeen, 8 weeks after I woke up with no memory of the night before (later realised my drink had been spiked).

I don't regret it, I was in no emotional or financial state to have a child but I do grieve for my baby.

But I hate when I've told someone and they've judged me, or judge others for it. Hardest decision I ever made.

Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub
:hugs: I know

[Zeddie]

I have not had one and would obviously have to assess the situation at the time, but it would be an option if things were not right.

[ElastiGirl]

Yes, it was the right choice, I don't regret it and I'm grateful that I had the choice.

[Degrassi]

No, I have never had an abortion. I have had one pregnancy and one child.

I feel fortunate that I have never been in the position to have to consider having one.

[flyawayfree]

I can't vote on my ipad, but I have had two abortions. I also have a six year old and am 22weeks now.

[Mathermy]

No I haven't, there but for the grace of god go I. I hope never to be faced with such a tremendously difficult decision.

[Elijahs Mum]

No I haven't, there but for the grace of god go I. I hope never to be faced with such a tremendously difficult decision.

This is me too

[MonsterMoosMum]

No I haven't


Me (21) DH (25) DS (4) DD (2)
Sent from a magical mobile bubhub device in a galaxy far far away

[MeetTheBluths]

No, never pregnant before DS.

[MrsOhara]

No thankfully, and I hope I'm never in the situation where this would be an option.

[anewme]

No and I never will.

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[LittleGumnut]

No {text removed by Moderator}
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[LaDiDah]

No I haven't but then again I also haven't been in a position to need one. If I needed one then I would go through all the pros and cons and make an informed decision at the time

[our3boys]

Yes i have had one not an experience I ever want to go through again.

[Sonja]

No I haven't and no I wouldn't.

[Allymumtobe]

I haven't but it's the choice of every woman case by case.

I chose to not have one even though buba was very sick, given the choice I would make the same decision again, but I do not judge any mum who chooses otherwise.

[thepouts]

No I haven't and would not be able to either...

[ndelamets]

I have not but feel tremendously lucky to live in a country where it is available readily and safely to those who need to access it.


mama ~ wifey

[headoverfeet]

I have not but feel tremendously lucky to live in a country where it is available readily and safely to those who need to access it.


mama ~ wifey

If only this were the truth..

[BigRedV]

If only this were the truth..

Please explain?

[MichelleClareBear]

I haven't had one and I wouldn't ever get one.

[Rarity]

No, I haven't, and I don't believe I ever would.

[headoverfeet]

Please explain?
We don't live in a country where it is readily available. Ok well if you have $500 odd dollars laying around and you live in a major city in NSW or WA it is...

[ARCTICJULZ]

Yes. Do I regret it? Yes, but it was the sane choice at the time. I was 14, pregnant by rape to my mothers husband (i refuse to call him stepfather) and living in a womens refuge centre. I could barely care for myself practically, and emotionally not even that.
As it was I almost suicided. Looking back, I can't say I would have been able to give the baby the love it deserved, so I made the right choice.
I have a friend, however, that had her firstborn daughter at 12, as a result of rape, and has raised a beautiful loving girl with support of her family. Maybe if circumstances had been different I could have carried little bub and done something similar...i think that is my regret. Reality being what it is though it would not have worked.

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[crankyoldcow]

No I haven't, and no I never would.

[faroutbrusselsprout]

No I haven't.
I would honestly consider it if my husbands vasectomy failed and I became pregnant again.
My mental health and my family would not survive another pregnancy and baby.

[HippyGirl85]

I haven't.

But I haven't been in a situation where I have needed to make the choice.

I believe in the right to choose and if it was the right decision for me/my family/the unborn embryo then I would.

[BlotchedTabby]

I never want one. Happy for other people to do what they like though. Kind of a sensitive thing for me as my great grandmother died of a backyard abortion :(.

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[SassyMummy]

I haven't, and not sure I ever would/could... but I haven't been in that position before. Well, I guess I was with DD, but i was so staunchly pro-life back then that I didn't even nearly consider it as an option. Having a child though... it made me realise the realities for being a parent, and I began to understand why many people would not be ready for that, and how it would be unfair for everyone for them to be forced into that life when alternatives are available.

If I fell pregnant right this very instant I honestly have no idea what I'd do. I don't want a baby now... I've been little more than a mother for all of my adult life until last year (study) and this year (work). I am not prepared to give that up again just yet. I suspect DP would want me to keep the baby, so I probably would... but in all honestly, I'm just glad I have the option to NOT have another baby if contraception fails me.

[ElastiGirl]

We don't live in a country where it is readily available. Ok well if you have $500 odd dollars laying around and you live in a major city in NSW or WA it is...

What about Victoria? Plenty of clinics here and some other states you have not mentioned, also, medicare covers a portion of it.

I think it is very readily available, and I'm totally grateful for it.

[headoverfeet]

Please explain?


What about Victoria? Plenty of clinics here and some other states you have not mentioned, also, medicare covers a portion of it.

I think it is very readily available, and I'm totally grateful for it.

Maybe but certainly not all states and they do have restrictions. Mine was $500 after the medicare rebate. I am grateful it is accessible to some women, don't get me wrong I just don't think it is as accessible as you believe especially for isolated women and those that can't afford it.

[ElastiGirl]

No {text deleted by moderator}

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I understand your struggle and coming from your view I totally get why you would never. But what about from the other side where lets say a woman never ever wanted children, never wanted to be a mother and contraception kept failing her? Surely given what she wants for herself she has the right to decide to terminate. Not every conception is considered to be a miracle.

[Lilahh]

I replied to this poll when I was pregnant, 4 years ago. I answered the last option. I am surprised how much things have changed for me now that I actually have a child. I would have one in the future if I wasn't in a place where I could cope with another child.

[VicPark]

I understand your struggle and coming from your view I totally get why you would never. But what about from the other side where lets say a woman never ever wanted children, never wanted to be a mother and contraception kept failing her? Surely given what she wants for herself she has the right to decide to terminate. Not every conception is considered to be a miracle.

I'd say the lady needs a lesson in how to use contraception correctly.

[OurLittleBlessing]

No I haven't had one and I wouldn't have one.

[kw123]

No I haven't and I hope I never have to. But I would if I had to, either medically or personally. I'm so not ready to have another baby and if I got pregnant now I wouldn't keep it. But I am VERY anal about contraception so hopefully it won't be a decision I'll ever have to make!

[SAgirl]

No and I would never have one

[ElastiGirl]

If say the lady needs a lesson in how to use contraception correctly.

It's just so easy to say that isn't it. But lets be fair, we all know contraception is not 100% reliable.

[LittleGumnut]

Elastigirl - In that case, if it were me, I would give the child up for adoption and give them a chance at life with a family that truly wants them but may not be able to have children of their own.
Failure of contraception working is not a good enough excuse to take a life IMO.

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[misskittyfantastico]

This section of the forum comes with this warning:

Have you been through a termination, or need to consider one for medical or personal reasons. Please find support and positive discussion in this section. This section is for POSITIVE support only. There will be zero tolerance for any other posts, which will be deleted. Ethics can be discussed in the Current Affairs section.

Save the judgements for another section.

[Slyph]

Elastigirl - In that case, if it were me, I would give the child up for adoption and give them a chance at life with a family that truly wants them but may not be able to have children of their own.
Failure of contraception working is not a good enough excuse to take a life IMO.

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I agree and don't agree. Yes contraception is only as good as its used correctly but even then it still isn't 100%. Sure a life is a miracle and adoption exists but imagine how hard it'd be to carry a child to term and give it up.

You don't have to agree or like someone's choice but out of decency you should respect it.

To answer the question no I haven't and depending on the circumstances I'd consider it. This is with me having a surprise mc at 18 and now ttc and fast approaching the dreaded 12months.

[BigRedV]

Elastigirl - In that case, if it were me, I would give the child up for adoption and give them a chance at life with a family that truly wants them but may not be able to have children of their own.
Failure of contraception working is not a good enough excuse to take a life IMO.

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Do you know the psychological impact adoption can have on the children and the parents? My sister gave her first baby up for adoption and it haunts her to this day.

[2Bboys]

Elastigirl - In that case, if it were me, I would give the child up for adoption and give them a chance at life with a family that truly wants them but may not be able to have children of their own.
Failure of contraception working is not a good enough excuse to take a life IMO.

Sent from my GT-I9300T using The Bub Hub mobile app

Yes - but at what stage of a pregnancy can a "life" be defined.

I don't think people have "excuses" to go through with an abortion. They have reasons, beliefs and circumstances that lead to that decision.

Your post is offensive.

[peanutmonkey]

Do you know the psychological impact adoption can have on the children and the parents? My sister gave her first baby up for adoption and it haunts her to this day.

Agree with this wholeheartedly. My mother wad adopted. She loved her adoptive parents, but psychologically it has been hard for her her whole life.

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[ElastiGirl]

Elastigirl - In that case, if it were me, I would give the child up for adoption and give them a chance at life with a family that truly wants them but may not be able to have children of their own.
Failure of contraception working is not a good enough excuse to take a life IMO.

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You know, sometimes it is. For me personally, giving up a child that was mine is not an option. For me the choice is, I either keep it, love it and raise it or it doesn't exists. I couldn't live my life knowing I gave up a child for adoption, it would kill me. What happened if I gave up that child up to a family that hurt it? Or experienced abuse or neglect. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

The argument that every life is a miracle doesn't stand up with all the abuse, neglect, violence our species dishes out by the minute, if life was so special wouldn't we take better care of each other ?

[BigRedV]

Agree with this wholeheartedly. My mother wad adopted. She loved her adoptive parents, but psychologically it has been hard for her her whole life.

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Did she make contact with her birth parents?

[peanutmonkey]

Did she make contact with her birth parents?

She did, and they didnt want anything to do with her. Which was harder than not knowing I think.

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[BigRedV]

She did, and they didnt want anything to do with her. Which was harder than not knowing I think.

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Yeh see, my sister wants to meet her son. She was only 16, but he has not tried to find her. This was 34 years ago.

[BigRedV]

How awful for your mum peanut :(

[RaryGirl]

Please remember the rules for this section ...


Have you been through a termination, or need to consider one for medical or personal reasons. Please find support and positive discussion in this section. This section is for POSITIVE support only. There will be zero tolerance for any other posts, which will be deleted. Ethics can be discussed in the Current Affairs section.

Quite a few of the posts in this thread do not belong in this section, if you wish to discuss other options, your feelings on the topic then you need to start a new thread.

[delirium]

My circumstances have changed since I first voted and replied to this thread. Last year I had a medically necessary termination for an ectopic at 10 weeks. Despite the fact I recognise there was no choice, I'm still deeply effected by it. It was the worst time in my life and I still grieve every day :(

[Zombie_eyes]

My circumstances have changed since I first voted and replied to this thread. Last year I had a medically necessary termination for an ectopic at 10 weeks. Despite the fact I recognise there was no choice, I'm still deeply effected by it. It was the worst time in my life and I still grieve every day :(

I wish i could take your pain away Del.

*so many hugs my lovely*


Braiiiiins
*60kilos lost*

[SassyMummy]

I replied to this poll when I was pregnant, 4 years ago. I answered the last option. I am surprised how much things have changed for me now that I actually have a child. I would have one in the future if I wasn't in a place where I could cope with another child.

That was me too. Once I became a mother, I went from staunchly pro-life to pro-choice.

[anewme]

My circumstances have changed since I first voted and replied to this thread. Last year I had a medically necessary termination for an ectopic at 10 weeks. Despite the fact I recognise there was no choice, I'm still deeply effected by it. It was the worst time in my life and I still grieve every day :(
:hugs:
:hugs:

[headoverfeet]

You know, sometimes it is. For me personally, giving up a child that was mine is not an option. For me the choice is, I either keep it, love it and raise it or it doesn't exists. I couldn't live my life knowing I gave up a child for adoption, it would kill me. What happened if I gave up that child up to a family that hurt it? Or experienced abuse or neglect. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
The argument that every life is a miracle doesn't stand up with all the abuse, neglect, violence our species dishes out by the minute, if life was so special wouldn't we take better care of each other ?

Totally agree!

[αληθη]

My circumstances have changed since I first voted and replied to this thread. Last year I had a medically necessary termination for an ectopic at 10 weeks. Despite the fact I recognise there was no choice, I'm still deeply effected by it. It was the worst time in my life and I still grieve every day :(

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:




I voted the last option because in this pregnancy I considered it but couldn't do it and I count that as not really considering it because I think I've always known I'd never be able to go through with it.

[iamhere4u]

Yes I have. It was not an easy decision, as I have had children. I know what happens at the end of a pregnancy. However, I also know how much work and time and sacrifice goes into it. I knew I could not cope mentally or physically at this time (my abortion was recent). I am quite a bit older now since having my children and would have been high risk. I was afraid of complications because of that and leaving my other children without me. I wasn't willing to risk my life and the futures of my other children. Life isn't always black and white. We must realize that there are other factors at play many times here. The stereotype that women who have abortions are out having sex constantly without using protection and not a care in the world is bollocks. I'm sure there are a few of them out there. But there are plenty of women out there that don't fit that stereotype. There are mothers who've had abortions, there are ladies who used contraception and became unlucky, there are people who simply just can't handle being pregnant for whatever reason. It is their choice. I hope people would take off their rose colored glasses and realize we live in the real world. This is not fantasy land. The choice for women must always be there. If it's not, I can suspect that there will be many suicidal pregnant mothers out there willing to self abort or jump off a cliff to end it all. Let's not do that to our daughters, sisters, mothers, and friends. Big hugs to all of you out there. And NO I don't regret having an abortion at all. I was doing the right thing for my entire family and yes, that includes me. The only thing I regret is having my contraception fail. I was extremely angry about that.

[headoverfeet]

Yes I have. It was not an easy decision, as I have had children. I know what happens at the end of a pregnancy. However, I also know how much work and time and sacrifice goes into it. I knew I could not cope mentally or physically at this time (my abortion was recent). I am quite a bit older now since having my children and would have been high risk. I was afraid of complications because of that and leaving my other children without me. I wasn't willing to risk my life and the futures of my other children. Life isn't always black and white. We must realize that there are other factors at play many times here. The stereotype that women who have abortions are out having sex constantly without using protection and not a care in the world is bollocks. I'm sure there are a few of them out there. But there are plenty of women out there that don't fit that stereotype. There are mothers who've had abortions, there are ladies who used contraception and became unlucky, there are people who simply just can't handle being pregnant for whatever reason. It is their choice. I hope people would take off their rose colored glasses and realize we live in the real world. This is not fantasy land. The choice for women must always be there. If it's not, I can suspect that there will be many suicidal pregnant mothers out there willing to self abort or jump off a cliff to end it all. Let's not do that to our daughters, sisters, mothers, and friends. Big hugs to all of you out there. And NO I don't regret having an abortion at all. I was doing the right thing for my entire family and yes, that includes me. The only thing I regret is having my contraception fail. I was extremely angry about that.
:hugs:

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

Elastigirl - In that case, if it were me, I would give the child up for adoption and give them a chance at life with a family that truly wants them but may not be able to have children of their own.
Failure of contraception working is not a good enough excuse to take a life IMO.

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They are your beliefs , so feel free to never have one.

however no one else should get to dictate what happens to my body.

It can be very hard for those struggling to conceive to understand why any one would terminate.


I have met many women who were staunchly pro life until later in life, when life didn't quite work out the way they thought it would.

I think people need to get some empathy.

[Sonja]

I honestly think this is something many people's views would change on over the course of their lives.

My current pregnancy was completely unplanned and to say it threw my life into a spin is the understatement of the year. after years doing IVF we had finally moved beyond the fog of baby years and I have found a job I enjoy, can fit into my family life and is well paying. But despite being told our chances of conceiving naturally were almost zero we got pregnant.

After going backwards and forwards about what I would do about it I decided I couldn't face an abortion and am now 25 weeks. I am exhausted, drained, and often at my wits' end dealing with a 2 yo strong willed boy and 4 yo and a 7 yo girls who seem to take pleasure fighting from the moment they wake until they sleep. But at the end of the day the alternative wasn't something I could live with.

However, having 2 daughters means I know life could turn out very differently for them - if they had an unplanned pregnancy when they were teenagers (or at any stage of their lives), I would support them in whatever way was necessary, including through an abortion. I would hate to think if I was pro life they did something dangerous to avoid telling me. I couldn't live with that.

This is a long winded way of saying I answered option 4 because, at this point in my life, I haven't had one and I wouldn't have one. But I have recently formed the view that I am 100% pro choice as I have no crystal ball and no idea what lies around the corner for me or my family. I mightn't like the fact abortions happen, or some of the reasons why they happen, but it's not my business, and I would prefer to live in a world where it is safe, accessible and legal.